Posted: 5/12/2008 6:37:15 AM EDT
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Many years ago, about a year after we had been married, my wife told me that I could and she would be fine with me calling and checking on an old fiance I was going to marry. I broke it off as distance (she lived in Europe), I had always worried what had happened as she was quite distraught after. Felt like utter crap for doing it, but it was physically tearing me up and mentally due to time, distance, cost, etc. Well, my wife said I should call. I thought "wow, my wife is really cool and thoughtful", but then the 6th sense alarm bells triggered, could this be a test? I went with, "hey, honey, you are all I care about now, so, no, I don't need to do that." Was I being tested? I had not even brought her, the ex-fiance, up, since we had married. |
maybe she was thinking about calling an old boyfriend up, but wanted you to call that other girl first so she wouldn't feel bad about her actions. |
Who knows what goes through their minds. They sit around and think of things to trip us up with. My wife learned a long time ago not to ask me questions she really didn't want to know the answers too. I tell her straight up, cause I'm too stupid to lie. 
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maybe she already called up her old boyfriend, and is feeling guilty? |
My wife would ask such questions all the time, especially when watching a show, she would ask, "Is she pretty? Do you like her?" I got totally annoyed with it, till one day she asked me it again during a movie, and I replied with, "I'd do her." She has not asked me since. |
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Smart man. You did well. Now make sure that you don't whisper the ex's name in your wife's ear during sex. |
| Too much to loose, with great risk for little possible gain. Not calling was the right thing. You wouldn't be normal if you didn't have occasional doubts, but a good marriage is made from a concious decision of committment to do the right thing. Such is the way we earn loyalty and respect. |
| Total trap... I would say "I appreciate the offer, but you're who I care about now and I don't feel the need to reopen old issues." I'm sure the girl is fine, people get over these things. There's no reason to go back there IMO and it can only cause problems with your wife. |
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GUIDE TO A WOMAN LANGUAGE: You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain [b]Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. (AND I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE EVERY CHANCE I GET IF YOU DO IT)I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. .I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like. I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? |