Posted: 7/12/2014 11:08:38 AM EDT
| I want some welfare. Besides food stamps, what else can I get? |
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Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. |
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Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. Quoted:
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Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. Well damn, now you're just being greedy. |
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Well damn, now you're just being greedy. Quoted:
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Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. Well damn, now you're just being greedy. Oh yeah, got one of those handicapped tags that hang from my mirror. Gets me closer to snagging a scooter when going to walmart. |
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Oh yeah, got one of those handicapped tags that hang from my mirror. Gets me closer to snagging a scooter when going to walmart. Quoted:
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Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. Well damn, now you're just being greedy. Oh yeah, got one of those handicapped tags that hang from my mirror. Gets me closer to snagging a scooter when going to walmart. 
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Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. Quoted:
Quoted:
Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. To hear some folks tell it, a military hitch gets you fed for life. Sounds like you are getting screwed. |
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To hear some folks tell it, a military hitch gets you fed for life. Sounds like you are getting screwed. Quoted:
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Join the military. One enlistment, you get lifelong socialized medical care, free college, free home loans, and all kinds of other FSA stuff. That's what I hear, anyway, from academia. Already did the .mil thing, sucking down disability, unemployment, free school won't start for a while and I'm tired of eating ramen noodles so I want some welfare. To hear some folks tell it, a military hitch gets you fed for life. Sounds like you are getting screwed. That some people who shit all over CC and then state that military benefits are earned but everyone who is on SS disability are freeloaders is pretty rich sauce. |
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You need a lawyer, if you don't know which one to call that is understandable and easily fixed, watch an episode of Maury Povich and don't turn off the commercials, by the end of the show you will know exactly who to call. Remember, you are disabled, you deserve those benefits, your wife is disabled, she deserves her benefits, your children are all disabled and they deserve their benefits. Those are all checks you can get. Being disabled you will need to look for work lots, so you will need to find somebody to watch your kids while you look for work 40 hours a week, hopefully somebody who is also disabled. While your disabled friend who is watching your kids while you look for work (and getting a check from the government for doing so) you can watch their kids 40 hours a week (don't worry, it isn't likely that anybody is ever going to check on this, and if they do you are going on interviews that night). Your wife will need to be set up as your caretaker, that way she gets paid to help take care of you, you should be her caretaker, so you get paid to look after her. Of course you are both caretakers for the children, but it is harder to get checks for looking after them, and how to get a check on this is a bit fuzzy to me. You should spend a lot of time looking for work at places like Walmart and Target, they have screwy liability policies, you could probably get three or four settlements a year based on accidents in places like that. Settlement money is tax free and doesn't affect any of your need based benefits. This is a huge source of potential income, just remember, slipping on your neighbors porch is no good, they don't have much and their insurance policy might require more proof of your injury. Auto accidents are also another good source of income, but you have to be careful sometimes people get hurt in car accidents, and you wouldn't want to waste your valuable time in pain would you? There are plenty more scams, but these are the most basic, once you get used to these the others will come more naturally to you. If you want to really succeed at this you have to watch more daytime TV (for legal contact information) and be creative, getting checks doesn't happen on its own, and you might get turned down a time or two first, but you have to keep at it, eventually you will get a check, and it will be backdated to the first time you applied. |
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Quoted:
You need a lawyer, if you don't know which one to call that is understandable and easily fixed, watch an episode of Maury Povich and don't turn off the commercials, by the end of the show you will know exactly who to call. Remember, you are disabled, you deserve those benefits, your wife is disabled, she deserves her benefits, your children are all disabled and they deserve their benefits. Those are all checks you can get. Being disabled you will need to look for work lots, so you will need to find somebody to watch your kids while you look for work 40 hours a week, hopefully somebody who is also disabled. While your disabled friend who is watching your kids while you look for work (and getting a check from the government for doing so) you can watch their kids 40 hours a week (don't worry, it isn't likely that anybody is ever going to check on this, and if they do you are going on interviews that night). Your wife will need to be set up as your caretaker, that way she gets paid to help take care of you, you should be her caretaker, so you get paid to look after her. Of course you are both caretakers for the children, but it is harder to get checks for looking after them, and how to get a check on this is a bit fuzzy to me. You should spend a lot of time looking for work at places like Walmart and Target, they have screwy liability policies, you could probably get three or four settlements a year based on accidents in places like that. Settlement money is tax free and doesn't affect any of your need based benefits. This is a huge source of potential income, just remember, slipping on your neighbors porch is no good, they don't have much and their insurance policy might require more proof of your injury. Auto accidents are also another good source of income, but you have to be careful sometimes people get hurt in car accidents, and you wouldn't want to waste your valuable time in pain would you? There are plenty more scams, but these are the most basic, once you get used to these the others will come more naturally to you. If you want to really succeed at this you have to watch more daytime TV (for legal contact information) and be creative, getting checks doesn't happen on its own, and you might get turned down a time or two first, but you have to keep at it, eventually you will get a check, and it will be backdated to the first time you applied. Sounds good but two problems. I applied at Walmart but never heard back, too white I guess. Don't have a wife. Got one I can borrow? Not too picky and she can even have hairy arm pits. |
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Quoted: Sounds good but two problems. I applied at Walmart but never heard back, too white I guess. Don't have a wife. Got one I can borrow? Not too picky and she can even have hairy arm pits. You are fortunate to not have been hired by Walmart, that would have screwed everything up. The trick is to apply there, not get the job, and slip on a wet floor (or a dry floor for that matter) and have very painful, yet hard to prove injuries. Like I said, you have to get a little creative, these checks don't just land in your mailbox, at least to start with, but once the gravy train starts rolling, it sure delivers. |
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Quoted: You need a lawyer, if you don't know which one to call that is understandable and easily fixed, watch an episode of Maury Povich and don't turn off the commercials, by the end of the show you will know exactly who to call. Remember, you are disabled, you deserve those benefits, your wife is disabled, she deserves her benefits, your children are all disabled and they deserve their benefits. Those are all checks you can get. Being disabled you will need to look for work lots, so you will need to find somebody to watch your kids while you look for work 40 hours a week, hopefully somebody who is also disabled. While your disabled friend who is watching your kids while you look for work (and getting a check from the government for doing so) you can watch their kids 40 hours a week (don't worry, it isn't likely that anybody is ever going to check on this, and if they do you are going on interviews that night). Your wife will need to be set up as your caretaker, that way she gets paid to help take care of you, you should be her caretaker, so you get paid to look after her. Of course you are both caretakers for the children, but it is harder to get checks for looking after them, and how to get a check on this is a bit fuzzy to me. You should spend a lot of time looking for work at places like Walmart and Target, they have screwy liability policies, you could probably get three or four settlements a year based on accidents in places like that. Settlement money is tax free and doesn't affect any of your need based benefits. This is a huge source of potential income, just remember, slipping on your neighbors porch is no good, they don't have much and their insurance policy might require more proof of your injury. Auto accidents are also another good source of income, but you have to be careful sometimes people get hurt in car accidents, and you wouldn't want to waste your valuable time in pain would you? There are plenty more scams, but these are the most basic, once you get used to these the others will come more naturally to you. If you want to really succeed at this you have to watch more daytime TV (for legal contact information) and be creative, getting checks doesn't happen on its own, and you might get turned down a time or two first, but you have to keep at it, eventually you will get a check, and it will be backdated to the first time you applied. |
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Quoted: Renounce your US citizenship. Move to Honduras. Impregnate a native. Cross the US border illegally with new family. Get welfare. Hell...just go to south Texas and run up to the first border patrol agent you see yelling, "no habla...no habla English!" You'll go to the head of the line for ALL the free shit.  Bonus points if you are under 21. |
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Hell...just go to south Texas and run up to the first border patrol agent you see yelling, "no habla...no habla English!" You'll go to the head of the line for ALL the free shit.
Bonus points if you are under 21. Quoted:
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Renounce your US citizenship. Move to Honduras. Impregnate a native. Cross the US border illegally with new family. Get welfare. You'll go to the head of the line for ALL the free shit.
Bonus points if you are under 21. Free Obama shoes too? |
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Quoted: My wife is disabled. Must wear a fulll length leg brace and use a can to walk. She had her knee replacement removed due to MRSA, she has Lupus, RA, and has beaten cancer...Twice. She works part time and we still struggle financially. The reality is that the hundreds of thousands of honest, hard working Americans who truly qualify for these benefits have to compete against millions of people who have learned how to game the system since the day they were born. Do you know that they have big reunions in honor of the old housing projects? They have been tearing the old Johnson era projects down as fast as they can here, and moving the residents into regular neighborhoods on the section 8 program. As the closing of another project draws near the paper is full of weepy eyed residents who are sad to leave, because they are the third or fourth generation to live there, grand ma lived in that apartment, mom lives in that one, my oldest girl lives in that one, my sons babby momma lives in that one. It is sick and disgusting, we offered a helping hand, and that handout has become a way of life. The sad part is that your wife is in a competition for benefits, and while her disability is real, as plain as can be, she is hopelessly outclassed by professionals. You are hard working people, and you don't stand a chance. |
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Interesting, I just looked it up. You can get food stamps if you meet these qualifications http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/eligibility Apparently you can't have much in assets, although they don't count your home or lot. Here's the income limit: Single: < $1,248 2 people< $1,681 3 people< $2,116 4 people< $2,552 5 people< $2,987 6 people< $3,424 But if someone in the household is receiving some forms of disability the threshold is lowered. One thing is for sure, on average Americans are poor.... I will say, I have a lot of money stolen from me by government, but to me food stamps are perhaps the absolute least offensive redistributions of my money. There are lots of more expensive government initiatives, programs, agencies, and employees, I'd like to see eliminated before food stamps. |
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Do I send the kids first? Quoted:
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Renounce your US citizenship. Move to Honduras. Impregnate a native. Cross the US border illegally with new family. Get welfare. Do I send the kids first? Doesn't matter. You aren't worth shit. Your wife is worth a can of beans. Your kids, now them there's the whole enchilada. 
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I will say, I have a lot of money stolen from me by government, but to me food stamps are perhaps the absolute least offensive redistributions of my money. There are lots of more expensive government initiatives, programs, agencies, and employees, I'd like to see eliminated before food stamps. I agree. |
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Well, if you are Mexican you don't really need a wife, you just need her Tax ID Number, which you can get for her with no paperwork required, same for your kids. You are fortunate to not have been hired by Walmart, that would have screwed everything up. The trick is to apply there, not get the job, and slip on a wet floor (or a dry floor for that matter) and have very painful, yet hard to prove injuries. Like I said, you have to get a little creative, these checks don't just land in your mailbox, at least to start with, but once the gravy train starts rolling, it sure delivers. Quoted:
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Sounds good but two problems. I applied at Walmart but never heard back, too white I guess. Don't have a wife. Got one I can borrow? Not too picky and she can even have hairy arm pits. You are fortunate to not have been hired by Walmart, that would have screwed everything up. The trick is to apply there, not get the job, and slip on a wet floor (or a dry floor for that matter) and have very painful, yet hard to prove injuries. Like I said, you have to get a little creative, these checks don't just land in your mailbox, at least to start with, but once the gravy train starts rolling, it sure delivers. Don't forget that the injury you sustained at Walmart left you in pain. Pain that needs meds to treat. You might not need all of them and your not a wasteful person. You can easily sell the excess to a local crack head ...err fine upstanding neighbor. You will be rollin' a Ghetto Bently in no time. |
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You need a lawyer, if you don't know which one to call that is understandable and easily fixed, watch an episode of Maury Povich and don't turn off the commercials, by the end of the show you will know exactly who to call. Remember, you are disabled, you deserve those benefits, your wife is disabled, she deserves her benefits, your children are all disabled and they deserve their benefits. Those are all checks you can get. Being disabled you will need to look for work lots, so you will need to find somebody to watch your kids while you look for work 40 hours a week, hopefully somebody who is also disabled. While your disabled friend who is watching your kids while you look for work (and getting a check from the government for doing so) you can watch their kids 40 hours a week (don't worry, it isn't likely that anybody is ever going to check on this, and if they do you are going on interviews that night). Your wife will need to be set up as your caretaker, that way she gets paid to help take care of you, you should be her caretaker, so you get paid to look after her. Of course you are both caretakers for the children, but it is harder to get checks for looking after them, and how to get a check on this is a bit fuzzy to me. You should spend a lot of time looking for work at places like Walmart and Target, they have screwy liability policies, you could probably get three or four settlements a year based on accidents in places like that. Settlement money is tax free and doesn't affect any of your need based benefits. This is a huge source of potential income, just remember, slipping on your neighbors porch is no good, they don't have much and their insurance policy might require more proof of your injury. Auto accidents are also another good source of income, but you have to be careful sometimes people get hurt in car accidents, and you wouldn't want to waste your valuable time in pain would you? There are plenty more scams, but these are the most basic, once you get used to these the others will come more naturally to you. If you want to really succeed at this you have to watch more daytime TV (for legal contact information) and be creative, getting checks doesn't happen on its own, and you might get turned down a time or two first, but you have to keep at it, eventually you will get a check, and it will be backdated to the first time you applied. 
I see you're new at this ... you don't get married. That way she can claim Social Security benefits for the kids and get section 8 easier - at least that's how the neighbors did it. They lived together for 12 years claiming disability for him and social security for her and the three kids. Another trick is to file for welfare in several different states. Get buddies in three states and form a co-op where each of you has their EBT, welfare, disability, unemployment checks mailed to each other's places. Get together once a month on a rotating basis to exchange checks and drink much beer. 
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I see you're new at this ... you don't get married. That way she can claim Social Security benefits for the kids and get section 8 easier - at least that's how the neighbors did it. They lived together for 12 years claiming disability for him and social security for her and the three kids. Another trick is to file for welfare in several different states. Get buddies in three states and form a co-op where each of you has their EBT, welfare, disability, unemployment checks mailed to each other's places. Get together once a month on a rotating basis to exchange checks and drink much beer. Quoted:
Quoted:
You need a lawyer, if you don't know which one to call that is understandable and easily fixed, watch an episode of Maury Povich and don't turn off the commercials, by the end of the show you will know exactly who to call. Remember, you are disabled, you deserve those benefits, your wife is disabled, she deserves her benefits, your children are all disabled and they deserve their benefits. Those are all checks you can get. Being disabled you will need to look for work lots, so you will need to find somebody to watch your kids while you look for work 40 hours a week, hopefully somebody who is also disabled. While your disabled friend who is watching your kids while you look for work (and getting a check from the government for doing so) you can watch their kids 40 hours a week (don't worry, it isn't likely that anybody is ever going to check on this, and if they do you are going on interviews that night). Your wife will need to be set up as your caretaker, that way she gets paid to help take care of you, you should be her caretaker, so you get paid to look after her. Of course you are both caretakers for the children, but it is harder to get checks for looking after them, and how to get a check on this is a bit fuzzy to me. You should spend a lot of time looking for work at places like Walmart and Target, they have screwy liability policies, you could probably get three or four settlements a year based on accidents in places like that. Settlement money is tax free and doesn't affect any of your need based benefits. This is a huge source of potential income, just remember, slipping on your neighbors porch is no good, they don't have much and their insurance policy might require more proof of your injury. Auto accidents are also another good source of income, but you have to be careful sometimes people get hurt in car accidents, and you wouldn't want to waste your valuable time in pain would you? There are plenty more scams, but these are the most basic, once you get used to these the others will come more naturally to you. If you want to really succeed at this you have to watch more daytime TV (for legal contact information) and be creative, getting checks doesn't happen on its own, and you might get turned down a time or two first, but you have to keep at it, eventually you will get a check, and it will be backdated to the first time you applied.
I see you're new at this ... you don't get married. That way she can claim Social Security benefits for the kids and get section 8 easier - at least that's how the neighbors did it. They lived together for 12 years claiming disability for him and social security for her and the three kids. Another trick is to file for welfare in several different states. Get buddies in three states and form a co-op where each of you has their EBT, welfare, disability, unemployment checks mailed to each other's places. Get together once a month on a rotating basis to exchange checks and drink much beer. Ya'll are some fucking experts on welfare I see. |
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Quoted: I see you're new at this ... you don't get married. That way she can claim Social Security benefits for the kids and get section 8 easier - at least that's how the neighbors did it. They lived together for 12 years claiming disability for him and social security for her and the three kids. Another trick is to file for welfare in several different states. Get buddies in three states and form a co-op where each of you has their EBT, welfare, disability, unemployment checks mailed to each other's places. Get together once a month on a rotating basis to exchange checks and drink much beer. The disability checks and food stamps are only the tip of the iceberg. Section 8 is sort of a choice, if you want to go the home ownership route being single is better, that way you can "rent" the home from baby daddy with your section 8 voucher, if you are going the project route (no grass to cut, no broken AC to repair) you want to be married and both completely disabled, having daddy around gets you an extra bedroom, you can rent that bedroom out for a little extra cash too. |
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