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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:12:29 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I’m increasingly of the opinion that it’s something a guy with a healthy sense of self worth would not do. But few men know their own value in our society. 
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:12:39 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She'd have to be a solid 10. 
Like redheaded nurse/RN with horses 13? 
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:12:51 PM EDT
[#3]
I legally adopted my step daughter when she was 7. She's 22 now.
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:15:20 PM EDT
[#4]
I am one and have been so for 18 years.
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:36:24 PM EDT
[#5]
I have been one for 17 years and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Sometimes the rules are a little different it seems but that's just part of it. Being a parent can be a challenge no matter whose DNA and having a child does not make someone a parent either. |
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:47:01 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am one, but I never raised him with that thought process. He is my son. I am his father. Edit to add; the natural father was not in the picture. |
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:57:09 PM EDT
[#7]
I’m not a stepparent. But I have adopted children (married, had one, adopted two). The kids don’t have to be my bio children for me to love and parent them. So I can’t say for sure and don’t know. But I imagine for the right woman and her kids, I might could be (if I was single).
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Posted: 6/12/2019 10:59:52 PM EDT
[#8]
I am a step-father to two great sons 11 & 13 when I married their mom. They are 40 &42 now. Best thing I ever did.. They call me and their biological dad on fathers day.
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Posted: 6/12/2019 11:04:46 PM EDT
[#9]
I always said I would not be, but as fate would have it, I am.
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Posted: 6/12/2019 11:13:34 PM EDT
[#10]
I picked the first option.
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Posted: 6/12/2019 11:13:47 PM EDT
[#11]
I have a massive amount of respect for the stepfathers I've known. To the man, they are truly great dads. Even when they have kids of their own, they treat their stepchildren as they treat their own.
I spent time as a temporary dad to my ex-girlfriend's kids. I loved them like a dad. The hardest part of my breakup with their mother was the harm it did to them. They didn't do well with it. I had a tough time with it. They were great kids. They have a great mom though, even if we didn't work out. I made sure they knew that. I have 4 of my own now. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:07:09 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you like kids and their mom will support you in raising them right I don't see the problem. Kids need love, guidance and discipline and far too few have decent parents these days. It's a big responsibility and can be a lot of work and very trying but the reward is worth it. I'll have steered another young adult in the right direction in life and hopefully given them enough of an example and enough ethics, morality and wisdom to grow into a person of good, strong character in an age when our country and culture are falling apart around us. I guess it really boils down to three things. Will their mother fully support you in your parenting even when she disagrees with you? Are you a man of character who is willing to sacrifice so that a child can grow and develop in character? Do you have the right character to raise children? It was raising my first daughter as a single parent with no child support that helped me to develop into the man I am today. I'm thankful that the kids value me as much as they do, it motivates me to continue growing and developing. I’ll never be in the position. Married at 28. First and only marriage for both my wife and I. I’ll die married to her. But, were this not the case, I’d have no problem being a step parent. As I’d only enter into a marriage that’s a lifelong partnership. I wouldn’t miss out on being with the right woman and deprive a child of fatherly guidance simply because of the kid’s existence. Too many kids growing up with no parents. Or really shitty parents. The world needs men to be strong fathers. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:10:07 AM EDT
[#13]
Fuck no.
I do not like kids at all. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:13:33 AM EDT
[#14]
 Have no problems bangin' hot single moms though, if I'm single. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:18:00 AM EDT
[#15]
Had a Stepdad that did a pretty good job.
RIP Bill. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:22:15 AM EDT
[#16]
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:23:54 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am one, but I never raised him with that thought process. He is my son. I am his father. Edit to add; the natural father was not in the picture. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 12:25:35 AM EDT
[#18]
I’ve been married to a great gal for 17 years and I don’t plan on changing that, so no I don’t want to be a step parent.
But barring that, I’d give it a try, depending on the situation. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:16:08 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
As a step parent, dont do it. It is most definitely not worth it. Whatever girlfriend promises will not happen after you are married. I chose poorly. I was dating one woman with three children. That woman had my soul in her hand and she knew it. I loved those kids as if they were my own. After she was done using me, and I realized what was happening. It was a very depresing time for me. I realized I missed the kids more than her. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:21:21 AM EDT
[#20]
No. I don't need or want that headache. Only way I'd consider it is if the father was deceased, the kid was very young like 1-3 and the mom was a legitimate catch.
That said I'm married already and don't have to worry about this. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:33:04 AM EDT
[#21]
My father in law is one of my best friends.
He is a step parent. He is good for my family. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:35:41 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I legally adopted my step daughter when she was 7. She's 22 now. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:38:39 AM EDT
[#23]
That would be one hell of a surprise
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Posted: 6/13/2019 2:41:44 AM EDT
[#24]
I helped raise 3 of my wife's kids. 2 appreciate what I did, the other not so much
 Their father is a deadbeat POS and put their mother through the ringer forcing them to live in shelters and financially ruining her because he wanted to chase strippers and drink all night long.
Karma has caught up with him so I am at ease. 
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Posted: 6/13/2019 3:17:28 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I like how guys who prob can’t even get a date on tinder, now need a mother to be a ten. I’m not a step father but if that was how life worked out I’d be fine with it. I have a lot of respect for step fathers doing a good job. It’s a big responsibility. I also see enough natural parents that suck that I don’t see many draw backs. thanks for all of the thoughts GD- & congrats to those of you strong enough to make it work. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 3:22:37 AM EDT
[#26]
I was a stepparent in my first marriage, and it was a constant issue. I think it's a rare thing where the biological parent doesn't skew towards supporting the kids at the expense of their new spouse. In my case I came from a conservative family where kids were expected to listen, obey their elders, etc. It was a culture clash from the beginning.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 3:49:19 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
no, i bang lots of single moms but always tell them up front i wont date them. no fucking way in hell im letting someone elses sperm run around my house messing up the place Where do you think we would be if those 3 Russian dudes said "I'm not draining the water, I didn't create this mess"? 
We do it because it must be done. And incidentally, I love my step daughter. 
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Posted: 6/13/2019 4:28:10 AM EDT
[#28]
My ex-gf is a 10. She is so hot, she models for car magazines. I could take her to the court house tomorrow and marry her if I wanted. But she has 3 kids from 2 different guys, which happened after we dated. I have no interest in raising some other guys kids and being a step-dad, even if he isn't in the picture.
My number one rule for dating is I do not date women with kids. I have no kids of my own and I like being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I cringe whenever my brother brings his best friends 4 year old over. I don't dislike children. I just don't like being around them. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 4:32:39 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This is how we get liberals.... No father's. Where do you think we would be if those 3 Russian dudes said "I'm not draining the water, I didn't create this mess"?
We do it because it must be done. And incidentally, I love my step daughter. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 5:04:10 AM EDT
[#30]
Talk to a lawyer about the financial risk of legal adoption.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 5:29:23 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am one. Wouldn't change it for anything. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 5:37:07 AM EDT
[#32]
No, I’m not a beta cuck.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 5:42:00 AM EDT
[#33]
Leave me and my wife's son alone....
Haven't really thought about it. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 5:58:26 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I’m increasingly of the opinion that it’s something a guy with a healthy sense of self worth would not do. But few men know their own value in our society. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:04:52 AM EDT
[#35]
Not again.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:11:13 AM EDT
[#36]
By definition I am one, but haven't thought of myself in those terms.
My older daughter is from my wife's first marriage. I'm the only father she has known. When she turned 18 she made contact with her biological father and he made a bunch of promises about having her come visit him and they could get to know each other and his other kids. He never followed through, which is consistent with his record. He had never contributed a nickel toward her upbringing, nor had any contact with her before she reached out. When she got married I walked her down the aisle. He didn't get an invitation. For me, that was pretty satisfying. As a closing note, the only way that step parenting works is if you have full parenting authority. If your spouse limits it, the kid learns you have no power over them and chaos will follow. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:30:52 AM EDT
[#37]
No.
Just no. When I was single I dated one girl who already had a kid. I saw the disaster that it was and ejected on the double quick. I question any man who is happy to raise the sprog of another man. It just seems wrong to me. Unnatural to say the least. My wife and I are friends with another couple where the husband is raising his wife's kid from another man. He refers to the boy as "his kid". Makes me uncomfortable on a visceral level. I wouldn't do it. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:35:58 AM EDT
[#38]
There is a lot “depends” in the equation. I’m a step dad and have never felt like my step kids wanted me or even remotely love me in any way.
My wife’s kids were in their teens when I came along and were already screwed up from the divorce. It’s a tough road and it has nearly cost us our marriage a number of times in the last five years with their issues. It’s not for everyone. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:36:39 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I am one, but I never raised him with that thought process. He is my son. I am his father. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:38:43 AM EDT
[#40]
I am 54, never been married.
At this point in my life if I ever do get married it's more likely I would become a so-called step parent. I don't think I would care one way or the other. Most of the women my age have adult children now. As long as I wanted to be with the woman that way, children would be pretty much irrelevant. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:43:01 AM EDT
[#41]
Yes. Found out about 15 years ago, couldnt have kids.
Got married to a great woman and adopted her three kids. Its been a great, and at times rough journey. Wouldnt trade it for anything. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 6:57:20 AM EDT
[#42]
No chance. And no way would I allow some other asshole to raise my kid either.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 8:53:57 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
And no way would I allow some other asshole to raise my kid either.  
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Posted: 6/13/2019 8:59:58 AM EDT
[#44]
I dated a few girls that had kids
I met one. It was pretty sad and fucked up really. I remember getting there. She introduced us. Id guess he was 4 to 6 years old or so. Ive always been bad at that. But anyways as soon as she introduces us this kid get shy and runs off. Me and the chick start talking a little and a short while later the kid runs back into the room He proceeds to run up to me. Hug me tightly. Looked up into my eyes, no my soul, and asked if I was his real daddy. The gal then proceeded to say no hes not and kinda got mad at the little guy. Anyways Im super glad I landed a chick that doesn't have any kids. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:22:49 AM EDT
[#45]
When I was not married I dated one girl with a little boy. After a few months I realized no way. We split. Best decision for me. However, I will say any may who can appropriately raise someone else's kid is good in my book.
On the dating a single mom aspect. A good woman is hard to come by and were not all big and buff like we want to think. If an attractive, honest, sweet girl wants your love and gives it back then why not. Seems like most women now a days have at least one kid anyways. I would think by not dating them you would cut your chances of meeting a great women in half. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:30:42 AM EDT
[#46]
Once I told a girl I'd date her if she gave her 3 year old up for adoption.
We were married for 5 years. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:31:54 AM EDT
[#47]
I dont want kids of my own but if i had a SO with a couple that came with a nice biweekly paycheck od totally be cool with it
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:33:55 AM EDT
[#48]
I did it.
If you are weak or narcissistic I would not recommend it. Being a step-Grandad is awesome. |
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:37:01 AM EDT
[#49]
Maybe in the right situation, from experience I'm going with hell no. No matter how good the sex or how hot she is, helping to raise other peoples kids is at times really rough.
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Posted: 6/13/2019 9:41:14 AM EDT
[#50]
In the process of adoption.
 I've been the only Dad she's known |
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