[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Wrong Number (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 11/17/2004 5:01:59 PM EDT
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This dude just called my phone asking for Alish or Alisha or something. I politely said that he had the wrong number. Not even a minute later he calls back asking for the same person. He said, "I think yous lyin'. Dis' the nummer she gay me." I said, "Alright dude, you caught me. She gave you the number to my phone but we had a disagreement and she won't be able to use this number any longer. So don't call back." "Ho-k, I see," was his response before he hung up. I thought about saying something nasty about her current activity but I didn't want 20 calls while I was trying to sleep. Have you ever messed with the person who called you by mistake?  |
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I can top that.... I had a wrong number years ago......some chick called up asking for Mike..... I was in the mood to fk with her...so i said...Sorry, Mike isnt available....can I take a message? She says...."Well, where did he go, I am on my way over to pick him up?" Me.............." He went out....with someone named Veronica I think" Her............." WHAT?" Me.............."She stopped by like a half hour ago and they took off....he said he would be back tomorrow" Her.............(starting to cry/get mad) "You tell him that Katie called...and not to bother calling me back" So..basically....I fkd up Mikes weekend 
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Dude, you are a bastard.   
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Sounds about like my dad. His number was the same as Papa John's with two of the numbers reversed like 50 vs. 05. He got so tired of it he started taking orders! When the people called back 45min later, pissed off because their pizza was not there, he would be like, "wrong number." I bet the Papa John's employess got a lot of crap because of that, but it sure was funny. BTW: Like a week after he moved to a different house he got a wrong number from a different pizza place, turns out his new number was only one number different from another pizza place. Thankfully that was the only wrong number he got for that pizza place. Justin |
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My old room mates cell phone had the same last 7 digits as a well known hotel, can't remember which. Only the area code was different. Some people are just plain dumb, they'd call 3 or 4 times and we d tell them to dial the area code. After a few calls he got sick of it but refused to change his #, so we took a lot of reservations that summer. |
YOU BASTARD!!! YOU FUCKED UP MY WHOLE GODDAMNED YEAR!!!  
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Same here, we were two digits off from a restaurant... man i booked reservations for parties of 14 and more at times. That one was fun. It started when some ass calls my house and I answer saying "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeello!" this asshat says "That is not a very professional way to answer a phone dont you think?" I said "excuse me?" He started giving me a rash of shit when he calls there is a certain professionalism that should be extended when in the food industry. OK At that point I knew he was looking for the restaurant that had a similar number to mine and he was the one who had a party for 14, he asked me for my name and the managers name. I took the reservation and gave him my name. I hope as heck i ruined his dinner, that fuck. I even asked him to spell his name and made it sound like I was writing all this shit down. Dick. Now my number closly resembles the local radio shack. Guy asks if I have some sort of game or something. i said "Yeah, I GOT THAT FUCKING GAME IN STOCK! DO YOU HAVE A BATTERY MEMBERSHIP? He says 'excuse me?' then hangs up. ha. love that shit. |
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I used to get wrong numbers all the freaking time. And invariably this is how it would go: Me - "Hello?" Jerkwad - "Who's this?" Me - "Don't you know who you're calling?" Jerkwad - "Is Jaun/Trudi/Miguel/Maria/ etc there?" Me - "No, I think you have the wrong number" Jerkwad - "oh *click*" 2 minutes later, same conversation. |
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Oh yeah, a few years back when I moved and got a new landline I got to choose a new phone number (I gave up the landline 3 years ago, what a waste), I was given a choice of several numbers, all obscure until the phone company said "233-0300" is available. Cool! numbers ending in 00 are easy to remember, so I snagged it. Turned out it was the ex number of a pharmacy that changed names, think it was Carolina Pharmacy or something. I kept getting phone calls from people to pick up their prescription, one old lady needed an uretha thingy, gross! Got sick of the junk phone calls so I got caller ID to screen them, the bastards would leave messages on my machine anyhow. OK, payback time! I recorded a new message that went like this "This is the pharmacy. If you're ethnic, old, ugly, fat, or smelly, we no longer want your business, please hang up, otherwise leave a message." Monitoring the calls after that became a riot! 1/2 the people felt insulted, some just laughed. I killed the message after a week before I got into trouble. Good thing I did, Icing on the cake was about a week later, I got a call from Carolina Pharmacy with their new number showing up on caller ID. I ditched the landline soon after that, paying $25 for basic service which was $13 to begin with but had an addition $12 in junk taxes and fees was the last straw. Went cellular. Here's an irony part, visited a friends house and he offered me a beer so we walk over to his fridge, on his fridge was a refridgerator magnet with the pharmacy and the 233-0300 phone number. I said, hey that's my number now! He gave it to me. |
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Our number ended in 38 and Arby's ended in 83. For years their employees would call, sit and listen to the message, this is so and so and we are not home press one to leave a message for us and 2 to leave a message for one of the kids. The would then promptly say at the end of this "yeah, this is (insert name) and I am sick and won;t be in to work today" I always wondered how if it was you job you wouldn't at least listen to the message and wonder why it wasn't your employers message. Also I found it curious many of these calls where 2nd shifters calling in aorund 2:00 in the afternoon. Didn't they wonder why they were not open? Dan |
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I DID get a wrong number last week and was polite with the "I'm sorry you must have the wrong number." routine. She calls back a 2nd time........I say the same thing. She doesn't say anything except CLICK! She calls back a 3rd time........."Lady, you have the wrong number!" to which she replies "WELL DAMN!!" She calls back a 4th time............to which I reply with "Just what is wrong with you?!" She tells me to "F@&K OFF!" Now I'm pissed.......I get the number off of the phone register......and looked it up on the Internet. I found her name and address!! I called her back.........Ring-Ring-Ring......."Yeah!" she answers. Me: "Is this Paula Williams of 342 College Ave in Tega Cay"? Her: "Yeah....who is this?" Me: "This is the wrong number you keep dialing.......STOP IMMEDIATELY!" Her: "OH SHIT!!!!!!" CLICK!!!! I enjoyed that! |
But sometimes.....I'm |
Many years ago I carried a beeper (numbers only) which was apparently close to a drug dealers beeper. I would get paged and call the number and they would want to talk to Big Jim or whatever. Usually I would just tell them that they had paged the wrong number and hang up. Sometimes though I would do something like this.... Them: Hello Me: I just got paged to call this number Them: Yeah, let me talk to Big Jim Me : He's been arrested and won't be able to call you back for awhile. Them: ARRESTED! for what??? Me: Possesion of a controlled substance with intent to sell. Them: WHAT! Who is this? Me: Special Agent Smith with the APD Drug enforcement unit. And what is your name? Them: <CLICK> how Camper |
you sir are truly blessed. I would most certainly burn in hell if I had that opportunity |
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PHONE RINGS,,,, caller, "Is Linda there?" me, " she is in the shower she can call you back" caller, "who are you?" me," maybe her new boyfriend if all goes well" caller," bullshit, I'm her boyfriend" me," then you will thank her for taking the shower" and I hang up. PHONE RINGS AGAIN,,,,,, caller," put her on the phone NOW!!!!" me, " nope,,she is shaving her box for me,,you can wait,,besides she dumped you,,,lol" caller, "damnit who the fuck are you,,,,PUT HER ON!!!!" me," you got replaced fucker, go away" PHONE RINGS AGAIN,,,,,, caller, "god dammit let me speak to her now" me, " if you call again I am going to fuck her in the ass when she is done" caller," fuck you bastard,,fuck you,,,,let me speak to her" me," she said I have a big dick,,,,,,really big,, no she made her choice, go the hell away" 5 MINUTES LATER, PHONE RINGS AGAIN,,,,,,, caller, " I knew it was a wrong number, you didn't get me,,,not at all" me, " bullshit buddy,,,,you were sweating it hard,,,,,lots of laughter" caller, "no way, I knew it was a prank, I kept hitting redial to see what you would do,,,,nervous chuckle" me, "dude you were screaming like a girl,,,lol I got you,,,,,I really did and you know it." caller,laughs, "well she thought I was losing my mind when I finally got to talk to her,,,I'm going to do this to someone else and get you back." me," thats cool,,,,,tell Linda Hi for me and nevermind that bite mark on her shoulder,,I do that sometimes,,,,,"
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I used to work for a company that had a significant amount of West Coast business. Voice mail kicked in at 5:00 EST. Our voice mail would say something like "Thank you for calling ****** Medical, we are currently closed, but we will return your call as soon as possible. Our normal operating hours are from 9 am to 5 pm, eastern standard time" etc, We would come in and find messages customers in California saying "How can you be closed, it's only two in the afternoon. I guess you don't want to do your job. I'll take my business else where". We would all just stand around listening, wondering how morons like that get through life. |
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I get wrong numbers all the time. The best one went like this: Caller: Yah man, s'up? Me: Not much dawg, s'up witchoo? Caller: Shit man I got arrested last night I'm down at county I need picked up. Me: Man, you got arrested? Caller: Yeah. Me: Fuck pigs! Alright dawg, I will come down there and get you. Caller: Alright bro, thanks. And that was that. I never heard back from him. |
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On one of my old home phone numbers, I'd get a message from some woman obviously trying to call one of her female friends, even though my message is clearly ME identifying myself BY NAME. Anyway, the girl sounds cute and young, so the occasional message doesn't bother me. Then it gets more frequent. One day, probably while I was on the shitter, I hear the phone ring, and couldn't answer, of course, so I check it when I'm done, and it's this chick calling... I pick up and hit *69 and got HER answering machine. I said "hey, this is Matt at 280 ****, and you keep calling leaving messages for someone on my machine. Not that I mind having messages from such a sweet sounding young lady, but they won't get to who you want, because I am the only one at this number. " |
Did she ever call back? |
Yeah, the cell phone my employer issued to me used to be in the hands of another employee. His mom is a little slow on the uptake, and has called me twice looking for him. Last time I told her I'm his boyfriend and he was out shopping. She hung up without saying a word.
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Caller: Is Robert there? DzlBenz: Yeah, hang on. Just a second. OK, so for as long as the wrong number caller will play along, I just set the phone down, and every couple of minutes, go back and stroke the caller. DB: Can I tell him who is calling? C: Uh, this is Chuck. DB: Oh, hey, Chuck. Yeah, he said he wanted to talk with you. Hang on, I'll go get him. A few minutes later... DB: Chuck, he'll be here in just a second. He's downloading some stuff right now. Just hang on. C: Well, I can call back. DB: No, he said just hold on. He's gonna split in a second, but wants to talk to you first. Hang on, man. Repeat as necessary. Personal record: 22 minutes! Ha!
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Some gangster called my office late one night: Homie: Where Lajon at? Me: Beg your pardon? Homie: You deaf? Me: Nope. You got the wrong number. Homie: Who this be? Me: None of your business. Homie: What number this is? Me: The wrong number. This is a place of business. Homie: If this a business, then it be open to the public...what you do there? Me: Actually, this is a privately owned business. We are not open to the public, so I'm not gonna tell you a goddam thing. You got the wrong number. Homie:[In his best hardass gangsta voice] Awww, yeah? That's fucked up, dawg. How bout I come down there, see if you wanna tell me then? Me: [Looking at the safe in my office, thinking of the AR, FAL, shotty, etc resting inside] Sure thing, buddy! You gonna be needin two things before you head out, though. Homie: Yeah? Wussat? Me: Body armor. And lots of friends. I'll be waitin'. Click. Fucker never did show up...  |
Wow, you're officially the SECOND person I've ever heard use "lol" in actual conversation. Well, technically I've heard one person and saw you quote yourself as saying it a few times... close enough. The only other time was playing a computer game (day of defeat) and hearing some 9 year old sounding kid actually voice chat "LOL" (he said the letters... el ohhh el), at which point I literally did a LOL. |
el em ay oh |
Dude, that is one of the funniest damned things I've read in a long time.
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Friend of mine's number was the same way for the local Sonic. His was 9345 their's was 9435. So, they started taking orders as well! |
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There have been many, but this was the most recent wrong number I got. Me, Hello Dumbass, Yeah I'm not feeling well this morning. I don't think I can make it to work. Me, Oh hey that's to bad. Look we don't have much going on today anyway. Go ahead and take the day off and see the doc. I'll give you a sick day. Dumbass, Thanks man. Me, No problem. Click |
That's an old one. I saw it somewhere 3 years ago. It is good though
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| I had a chick call one time asking for Jenn, I said she was not here and asked if I could take a message. She said it was amy from some salon and that she needs to reschedule her appointment . I asked when was good and she gave a time and day and I said I would pass it on to her. |
+1 You bastard. |