User Panel
Posted: 11/27/2022 11:48:53 PM EDT
Pick any one you like. Or you could even make one up like Parmistan.
You are merrily going about your business, eliminating your political opponents and doing lots and lots of other fun stuff when the Chinese minister of defense comes to visit you. He requests half of your army to be deployed to China to suppress dissidents. They will cover all expenses of moving, paying and equipping your troops. You will also be given the requisite 11% gross profits of your countries part of the Belt and Road initiative deposited directly into a Swiss or Virgin Islands bank account of your choice. If you refuse... Well. The minister of defense will walk out of your palace. But not before leaving a single shiny round of 338 Lapua on your desk. How would you handle this? |
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I think it would depend on if giving up half my army was going to make me vulnerable to other nearby 3rd world countries.
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If I'm already eliminating my own political opposition I'm past redemption, so why not make 11% while I'm at it? So long as it doesn't affect my own PerSec
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I would call up the US Ambassador and tell them to foreign aid matching what the US gives Ukraine or I am getting in bed with China, I would ask for double the amount if I was located in South or Central America or the Caribbean Islands. If they US didn't meet my offer, I would begin dumping all my criminals into the US.
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I'd be a different dictator. I'd fund my government fully on foreign aid. My subjects would live tax free and get to take home their rifle after their mandatory military service.
Criminals, if they survive being captured by armed tax free subjects, would be shipped to a drug cartel for delivery to the U.S. |
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Caboostan greatest country in the world, all other country run by little girls.
Play both sides China/West and fleece them for maximum cash for my moon base. |
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Quoted: If I'm already eliminating my own political opposition I'm past redemption, so why not make 11% while I'm at it? So long as it doesn't affect my own PerSec View Quote Chinese negotiate. A quarter of my army and 20% of profits sounds about right to go crush dissidents. An extra 9% of profits is going to be needed to pay off my generals and the remnants of my own political opposition. If I'm a third world dictator, I'm not going to die peacefully in bed anyways. Got to get all you can while you can. |
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I would send his boss a video of me cooking and eating the Chinese Minister Of Defense.
One, cannibalism is the most final, humiliating defeat you can inflict on an enemy. Two, no one wants to screw with someone who goes crazy, that hard and that fast. Three, I'm beloved by my people. They will protect me. |
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FPNI
As dictator, you don't think a big chink of my budget won't be spent on top tier ninja training for my closest family and friends? The Chinaman would be dead with the round pounded into his forehead, his entourage would be dead, if there was an embassy, they'd all be dead, and I'd probably finish by executing whatever Chinese descended population there was in my country because they're probably riddled with ChiCom spies. Then I'd send all their heads to Chairman Xi in an uninsulated crates. In fact, I'd probably execute the envoy, his entourage, and all the embassy personnel by hammering .338 Lapua rounds into their foreheads. Then I think I'd see if the US or UK were interested in sole mining rights to my country. |
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Quoted: Pick any one you like. Or you could even make one up like Parmistan. You are merrily going about your business, eliminating your political opponents and doing lots and lots of other fun stuff when the Chinese minister of defense comes to visit you. He requests half of your army to be deployed to China to suppress dissidents. They will cover all expenses of moving, paying and equipping your troops. You will also be given the requisite 11% gross profits of your countries part of the Belt and Road initiative deposited directly into a Swiss or Virgin Islands bank account of your choice. If you refuse... Well. The minister of defense will walk out of your palace. But not before leaving a single shiny round of 338 Lapua on your desk. How would you handle this? View Quote When the defense minister was asleep, he was put into a deep sleep and you have a team insert a remote bomb that you wait to detonate when he speaks to the Xi. |
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I talk to the US and get them to send some folks to "peacekeep" as I nationalize and seize all Chinese assets in my country. In return they get a base that doesn't exist on maps and budgets.
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I’d cut out his heart, feed it to my dogs, and send his yellow corpse back to red china with a single round of 10mm with a note that says “say when”.
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Lol you motherfuckers would never make it as a third world dictator.
I'd round up all my political dissidents, threats to my power, and anybody else that I was already in the process of eliminating. Give them uniforms and weapons and call them the Chinese Brigade. Tell them that anything they do to spy on the Chinese or sabotage their shit will be handsomely rewarded. Then I'd call the the US and allies, and tell them that I'm sending a bunch of spies and saboteurs to China, and that they should give me funding to ensure that my guys fuck up as much shit as possible. Now, if my Chinese Brigade gets killed, is a win for me, because I was going to kill them anyway. If they do a great job for the Chinese, it's a win for me because I get a cut from the Chinese. And if they fuck shit up, it's a win for me because I get paid by the US. |
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Quoted: Lol you motherfuckers would never make it as a third world dictator. I'd round up all my political dissidents, threats to my power, and anybody else that I was already in the process of eliminating. Give them uniforms and weapons and call them the Chinese Brigade. Tell them that anything they do to spy on the Chinese or sabotage their shit will be handsomely rewarded. Then I'd call the the US and allies, and tell them that I'm sending a bunch of spies and saboteurs to China, and that they should give me funding to ensure that my guys fuck up as much shit as possible. Now, if my Chinese Brigade gets killed, is a win for me, because I was going to kill them anyway. If they do a great job for the Chinese, it's a win for me because I get a cut from the Chinese. And if they fuck shit up, it's a win for me because I get paid by the US. View Quote Attached File |
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Quoted: Pick any one you like. Or you could even make one up like Parmistan. You are merrily going about your business, eliminating your political opponents and doing lots and lots of other fun stuff when the Chinese minister of defense comes to visit you. He requests half of your army to be deployed to China to suppress dissidents. They will cover all expenses of moving, paying and equipping your troops. You will also be given the requisite 11% gross profits of your countries part of the Belt and Road initiative deposited directly into a Swiss or Virgin Islands bank account of your choice. If you refuse... Well. The minister of defense will walk out of your palace. But not before leaving a single shiny round of 338 Lapua on your desk. How would you handle this? View Quote Sounds like the Chinese are about to handle my political opponents for me. Turns out my political opponents and their children are all half the army the Chinese was requesting from me. How convenient. I eliminate the future are of revolutionaries which threaten my throne. I Then call the closest US Embassy and sell all the information about what happened over to the CIA. |
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Quoted: Lol you motherfuckers would never make it as a third world dictator. I'd round up all my political dissidents, threats to my power, and anybody else that I was already in the process of eliminating. Give them uniforms and weapons and call them the Chinese Brigade. Tell them that anything they do to spy on the Chinese or sabotage their shit will be handsomely rewarded. Then I'd call the the US and allies, and tell them that I'm sending a bunch of spies and saboteurs to China, and that they should give me funding to ensure that my guys fuck up as much shit as possible. Now, if my Chinese Brigade gets killed, is a win for me, because I was going to kill them anyway. If they do a great job for the Chinese, it's a win for me because I get a cut from the Chinese. And if they fuck shit up, it's a win for me because I get paid by the US. View Quote God damn you savage. Can I be on your board of advisors? |
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Quoted: With 20% of the Silk Road profits, I can buy all the boob jobs I need for my harem. If they aren't large breasted already, they will be. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Are the local women large breasted? With 20% of the Silk Road profits, I can buy all the boob jobs I need for my harem. If they aren't large breasted already, they will be. This is the likely situation. Hopefully you haven't been the kind of dictator who starves their population. Otherwise your concubines are going to look really top heavy. |
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He won't want to talk to me. I'll have already recognized Taipei as the rightful capital of the mainland.
Besides, is it racist to ban mainland Han from entering my country entirely with no exceptions for diplomats? Because watching how they act when they go touristing makes me think really hard about it. |
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He’d wouldn’t leave the building, he’d just… disappear and I’d glass china for good measure.
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I'd try and negotiate for better than 11%. I'd also want 18 y.o. hot chinese interns to "study" at my palace.
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I've got to admit that would be an interesting thing to hear a BBC News report on.
"Several official sources have confirmed in the past hour that the Chinese minister of defense was killed and eaten in..." |
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Easy. Take the deal, raise a separate paramilitary force with that money that answers only to me. Call it the Free Democratic People's Republic Peace Keeping
Security Force. Ask for a few advisors to train them, to alleviate my concerns about sending half my army |
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Shoot the minister and his entire security detail. Shell the Chinese consulate, then burn it to the ground.
Go on line and in the news and play the entire exchange which I recorded. "We won't be bullied or corrupted by dirty commies." |
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Quoted: I would send his boss a video of me cooking and eating the Chinese Minister Of Defense. One, cannibalism is the most final, humiliating defeat you can inflict on an enemy. Two, no one wants to screw with someone who goes crazy, that hard and that fast. Three, I'm beloved by my people. They will protect me. View Quote MSG gives me a headache |
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Minister of defense would become permanent guest in my palace.
All chinese nationals would be arrested Norks would get nuked for show of force. Subs would raid chinese flagged ships and every grain barge coming into china except the ones that spec ops poisons. hungry people dissent Spec ops would do arfs wet dream on the 3 gorges dam Recognize japan as the true leader of china |
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After finishing a line of coke off the back of the chick I would be raw dogging from behind. I would grab a bowie knife and skin the China man alive. I would give the 338 round to his assistant and send him back to China wearing his boss's skin as a coat.
If there were any females in the entourage, I would keep them as payment for the insult. I mean, if I were dictator and all that... no half measures, know what I mean? |
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Promise to send 3/4 of the military for the "patriotic cause".
Welcome the opportunity to be escourted into their lands and make ready to turn on them. Strike first strike hard, and inflict maximum damage on the communist party to initiate their collapse as a global tyrannical power if possible. A worthy sacrifice for humanity. |
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Quoted: Pick any one you like. Or you could even make one up like Parmistan. You are merrily going about your business, eliminating your political opponents and doing lots and lots of other fun stuff when the Chinese minister of defense comes to visit you. He requests half of your army to be deployed to China to suppress dissidents. They will cover all expenses of moving, paying and equipping your troops. You will also be given the requisite 11% gross profits of your countries part of the Belt and Road initiative deposited directly into a Swiss or Virgin Islands bank account of your choice. If you refuse... Well. The minister of defense will walk out of your palace. But not before leaving a single shiny round of 338 Lapua on your desk. How would you handle this? View Quote Send the heads of the Chinese minister of defense and his delegation (save one) in a sack back to China, carried by the least important person from the delegation. |
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Quoted: Minister of defense would become permanent guest in my palace. All chinese nationals would be arrested Norks would get nuked for show of force. Subs would raid chinese flagged ships and every grain barge coming into china except the ones that spec ops poisons. hungry people dissent Spec ops would do arfs wet dream on the 3 gorges dam Recognize japan as the true leader of china View Quote Attached File I'm not sure you understand the meaning of "Third World Nation"... |
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“Sorry mr. Chinese defense minister, but my troops are already busy helping Iran put down its feminist problem. Get back with me next month.”
t. Caudillo rob_nikada |
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Quoted: I would call up the US Ambassador and tell them to foreign aid matching what the US gives Ukraine or I am getting in bed with China, I would ask for double the amount if I was located in South or Central America or the Caribbean Islands. If they US didn't meet my offer, I would begin dumping all my criminals into the US. View Quote Attached File Sounds quite lucrative. I doubt planet earth ever produces a bigger sucker than the US taxpayer. Collectively we are pants on head retarded. |
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