Wait, what? There aren't going to be showings of crappy art in some basement studio that I wouldn't ever see anyway? No amateur productions of "The Vagina Dialogue"? Suddenly I'm inspired to write a small prayer of thanks.
Dear God,
Since you seem to be in a VERY generous mood and lately have been giving me just about everything I wanted, and a few things I hadn't even thought of which turned out to be great ideas, I might as well turn in a few additional requests.
First off, my Dad taught me to list the things I'm thankful for before asking for more, so...
Thanks for all the winning. I'm still having a great time with it.
Thanks for the erection that's lasted WAY past anything Viagra ever thought of. If I were on Viagra I would have had to call a Doctor months ago.
Thanks for MAGA, which seems to be steam rolling right over the Kenyan, like The Don doesn't care if he's still in the White Privilege House.
Thanks for giving me a chance to find out how sweet liberal tears taste.
Thanks for all those insignificant self-righteous artists removing themselves from the picture.
And a big THANK YOU for putting Hillary down like you did. I still listen to her concession speech over and over, just to hear the pain in her voice.
So, about the want list.
If it's not too much to ask, could you go ahead and cause a disease which results in infertility among liberals? I don't want them to die, I just want them to die off.
Please get rid of cancer. Fukc cancer. I'm ok with AIDS, since having a brain can pretty much eliminate a chance of getting AIDS, but cancer sucks, so give it to all the mosquitoes and call it a day.
You've been so generous lately I figure this is small change, right?
Amen