[ARCHIVED THREAD] - . (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 8/27/2004 3:57:33 AM EDT
|
cheating? About a year ago my girl firend found some porn on my computer and in my apartment and was upset. We had been dating about a year and she asked/ demanded that I get rid of it. I did with the exception of some stuff on my comuter. Yesterday she found some jpegs on my computer and freaked. She wants to end it. I can understand her being pissed about me lying but it was some pretty harmless stuff. She says it is no different than cheating. Any thoughts? |
|
I think your pretty deep in the shit for lieing but I don't see porn as cheating, plus if you were already into that stuff (i.e. store some on your computer) she should have been realistic about whether you were going to stop. My girlfriend, on the other hand, thinks that Stuff magazine is cheating-I just ignore her on that one though. |
|
I wouldn't consider watching pron to be 'cheating', but quite obviously your girlfriend does. I think it's a good sign in some ways, for someone to think like that. It's so old-fashioned as to be 'quaint.' And I llike quaint! Either give up the pron or give up the girlfriend. I would likely do the former, then insist that as a reward for doing so, the girlfriend really ramp up the action, so to speak. Sounds like a reasonable tradeoff, eh? Eric The(Licentious)Hun 
|
You are with a |
| I dont consider pron cheating. My wife doesnt either. She just asks when I download it I store it someplace she wont find it. Honestly though, if she is gona freak over a couple of pictures of naked girls, imagine how she would react when your buddies want to throw you a bachalor party. |
Man's answer: Is porn cheating. NO Any thoughts: Yes, porn rocks!  Woman's answer: Is porn cheating: IMO (which doesn't matter because it isn't her opinion) NO Any thoughts: Yes, the main issue is NOT the porn in this case, but that SHE feels it is no different than cheating AND that she already was upset about it once and asked you to remove it. She thought you did, but then found some more. By doing that you are not only being dishonest, you are discounting her feelings that you were already made aware of. Bad move. If there were certain pictures that you wanted to keep, you should have discussed it with her THEN. At least she could have been given the opportunity to get out of the relationship at that time if she couldn't compromise on letting you have some normal guy characteristics (i.e. being visually stimulated). |
|
Cheating requires sexual conduct between two people, one of whom is not you Significant Other. Not you and a magazine. Your GF needs to have this explained to her: When used responsibly, pornographic material can enhance a sexual relationship. It can get you primed and ready and then SHE gets the benefits! My personal angle on it is summed up best by none other than Ted Nugent: "Explicit sex, it ain't my cup of tea. Unless of course, it's happening to me." from the song "Funlover" CJ |
ar15
ar15
Her appetite isn't a problem. I understand her being pissed about my lie. I think we are gonna have to wait a few more days before she and I talk about this again. She is so pissed and hurt she is saying stuff to make me mad and to hurt me. She is a psychologist and has a hot temper. I have told her everthing I can. I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I won't do it again, and I love you. Some tough stuff to say when you are being insulted. We both need to cool off for a few days before we talk again. To top it off her pregnant friend recently "caught" her husband looking at on-line porn and was so pissed she almost mis-carried. She was in the hospital for 2 days. She made him install a pron filter on their computer. Of cousre she was the first person my girlfriend called. |
what he said. |
|
Well, I'd ask her if she considers me beating off in the shower as 'cheating'. If she does, then I'd tell her I've cheated on her dozens of times. If she sees the logic/rationale of it, then you tell her that that's all you do with the porn, beat your own meat. It's not that you WANT to or actively PURSUE screwing other women, you just want something to punch the clown by when your GF is not available. I think she could only complain if she were a nympho and screwed you every time you wanted some. If she's stingy with the punanny, then you got to get your release somehow. Simply put, I don't think a little pr0n is 'cheating'. |
Maybe you missed this part...
psychologist heal thyself!! SGatr15 |
She is good at what she does just try arguing with her. Her big issue issue is the lie. Which I understand. My issue is with her controlling nature and demands. |
No shit!! She eithr is a poor psychologist for not understanding the male mind, or has serious control issues...... 
|
|
Absolutely.
Of course, we're not talking about a married couple here... |
Agreed. There is more than porn to this one... The lying - No need to go into details on that. Trust is key in any relationship. Controlling nature and demands - Bingo. Must discuss things up front and come to an agreement on what is ok or not ok, and then stick to it. You have different values and unless you always want this stuff to be rearing its ugly head (no pun intended) then nip it in the butt (again, no pun intended)  Ask yourself this - Can you seriously imagine living the rest of your life not looking at any online images or porn? You may as well just chop them dingleberries off right now 'cuz you wouldn't be needing them... 
|
|
First, cheating is whatever a couple decide cheating is. Second, her response to something as harmless and common as some pics of naked wommenz on your PC doesn't bode well for the relationship as a whole. This woman has issues, and is hanging those issues on you. She is making a unilateral decision concerning what you can do. I'd be really uncomfortable with that in your place. |
AW GEEZ NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN. CHEATING IS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. You looking at porn is not cheating. You looking at porn and spanking the monkey is not cheating. The issue here is control. That is all. |
| Personally, I don't think looking at porn is cheating, but she does, and that is what is important. Each couple has to decide their boundaries. She set hers, and you agreed to them, then breached them. Instead of saying that you would get rid of all porn in the first place, you should have discussed it with her and reached an agreement of some sort way back in the begginning. A lot of women do consider porn to be cheating, and you can either respect that or don't date those women. |
Cheating is a road. Sex outside the marriage / relationship is the destination. Porn is the vehicle most frequently used to get to the destination. Anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't understand the real world. |
Did you ever stop to think that it's you who doesn't understand the real world? You're in the minority here. You're pretty much the only person in this thread that follows this method of thinking. And don't even start with the holier than thou attitude. It's your opinion, and I respect it, but don't try and push that stuff on everybody else. And no, looking at porn or even looking at porn while shaking hands with the president is not cheating. |
I tend to agree with garandman. Unless both patners consent, I don't think there is any room in a relationship for porn. I don't think it can be simply and conveniently dismissed as a control issue. That Mr Beam basically had to lie about and hide it basically says he knows something is wrong with his behavior in this particular relationship. |
The "right" is almost always in the minority. Further, you think people actually live their lives like what you read here? NEWSFLASH - This is the internet. read: group of accomplished liars MOST guys here are NOT Brad Pitt look-a-likes. Most are either fat or bald. MOST guys here are NOT of the proporations of Ron Jeremy (tho they assure they are) NOT EVEN HALF the guys here who claim to be special forces are actually special forces. DARN FEW of the people here are half as sexually active as they'd like everyone to beleive. They don't all own a gazillion guns. They didn't tell off the cop the way they claimed they did. But here's what IS true of most of them (and me)- If we DO frequent the girlie mags, we are NOT gonna condemn ourselves by admitting what we all know is true - we look at girlie mags to get our rocks off (to varying degrees. ) And THAT is cheating
I'm not holier than anyone - prolly less holy than most. Largely cuz I'm aware of my sins. And if me speaking my opinion is what you consider "pushing" ...well, that pretty much proves my point as to your guilty conscience telling you what I said is true. But thanx for playing. As Shakespeare said "Me thinks thou doest protest too loudly." |
|
Is looking at pron adultery? Let's see what the Judge says: Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. That is found in the only Law Book that you will likely ever need to worry about: Matthew 5:27,28 Now, before y'all get your heathen panties in some sort of obscene wad, Yes, I am just as guilty as any mother's son about looking at womenz with lust in my heart. Some from rather close range, in fact. That doesn't alter the clear and concise terms in which that Law was pronounced, nor does it make me think that my future condition in the Next World is anything less than precarious! Eric The(ProdigalSon)Hun
|
|
Ahhhh, the religious arguments against porn................... As a practicing Catholic, I was taught (and believe) that God judges actions, not thoughts. The 7th Commandment, "Thou shalt not COMMIT adultery", refers to an act (this is really not applicable here since we are not talking about people who are married but for the sake of argument). As a male with an IQ over 80, I know that God created men with the ability (or curse) to be sexually aroused by just about anything. Being monogamous is an unnatural state for the male of the Human Species, that is why God used up one of his 10 Commandments to address it. The only "sin" I see here is making a promise he knew when he made it would not be kept. |
So everybody is lying and they really do feel that looking at porn is cheating. Is that the connection you're making here? They have nothing to gain or lose by stating their morals on the matter. While I admit that I think many people here (who shall remain nameless) embellish the truth when they speak on many aspects of their lives, I don't see the relevancy of that to looking at porn equating to cheating. Also...
You lose all credibility for using the bastardized word, "prolly."  In all seriousness though, I'm not trying to sell anything to anybody. Figureatively speaking of course. I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm not saying you're wrong. I can't say that you show the same respect however. I feel no guilt whatsoever for I do what I believe is right. |
Stop right there! I was raised as a Roman Catholic and I know for a fact, Jack, that the Roman Church accepts 'Matthew' as an approved Book in their Bible! So, what Jesus taught about adultery superseded anything written in the Old Testament! Ask your priest! Eric The(CatholicThenProtestantNow)Hun
|
Looking at porn isn't cheating ......... Period , end of discussion ! Now on the other hand , If you have 30 gig's of freaky porn , like farm animals , bodily wastes , Kiddy porn and Hot wax and clothespins ...... well then it still isn't cheating , but you might be sick demented bastard . If we are talking Garden variety porn here , then your psychologist GF needs to see colleague to address her own issues . Sorry to say it , but you really sound whipped . have you ever stood up to Her ?? Or are you prepared for a life of hell ?? If she insist on running all aspects of your life , I'd suggest you go stick it in her friends pooper , take pics and use them as your desktop !! Oh ......... Then post them here  |
The MOST disrespectful thing I could do is to allow you to continue in your error without at least mentioning the truth. I've now done that. My work here is done (at least as it pertains to you) |
Look at the verses ETH posted - Matthew 5 They expand upon the Mosaic Law to include simple lust as part of adultery, and equal to it. It was Christ speaking In matthew 5. If you disagree with Matt 5, take itup with Him. |
|
You aren't hding it well enough. Make a folder with an obscure name like "WinXP_MBR" or WIN Systems files" or "Win utilities" and right click on it and make it a hidden file. Store all your porn there. Make sure you don't have the option to display hidden files enabled. My wife doesn't care what I do, but she does like to catch me and poke fun. The main reason I do this is because I have a kid I don't want stumbling across my files. Of course, this is a minimum security way to hide it. If she really is looking hard she can still find it. |