Posted: 8/10/2017 11:34:36 AM EDT
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Hoping for the best.
| Do things that you have in common. Movies, food. Dinner and movies with friends. Hit up a concert. You got to get up and do things together whatever your hobbies are. Bike ride, invite friends over...25 years here, Get up and do things, don't be lazy. It's work... |
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My Filipina wife calls it being "malambing". Basically, it is being sweet to your significant other. I treat every day with her like we are in the first year of dating. Unexpected hugs, caresses, kisses...hell, even smacks on the ass and outright gropes. I buy her stuff, do things around the house, etc, etc. Basically, behave as if the honeymoon is not over. She does the same thing. Takes my boots off and rubs my feet when I get home from work (if she is not already at work), cooks breakfast on the weekend, etc, etc. We have been married 10 years this December.
We have also started scheduling a "date night" when we both have a Saturday off. We go out to dinner, maybe a movie, or we go out to breakfast and take the motorcycle out for a ride in the country. Just the two of us. You have to put in the effort, and SHE also has to put in the effort. Marriage is like a garden: you have to plant your seeds, tend the plants, pick out the weeds...you know, tend the garden...you can't just toss some seeds in the dirt and expect it to grow. |
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We both lead very busy lives with work and our own interests.
We would go days sometimes not communicating very much. The longer you go, the farther you drift apart. As silly or simple as it sounds, we have to sit down and schedule time together. A hard printed/uploaded to our phones schedule. We treat that time as important as anything else we do professionally. We still fall off the wagon, and have to recommit to the "Schedule". We take a long weekend somewhere every other month, and take turns planning it. Sunday dinners is always family time. Very few exceptions. We found one place to volunteer together. Been married over 20 years. My second, her first. |
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Been married to my wife for 28 years.
We lived together for 11 years before that. I'm getting ready to retire soon, very soon. She looks at me and says, "What am I going to do with you when you're home all day?" Yeah, we need to talk just as much as you and your wife OP. Good luck. |
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It'll be 25 years for us in October. As many already said, dates. And call it a date- "Hey, let's go on a date". Pick her up if you need to really make it feel like one. Draw on what it was like for you two when you first met. Little things matter.
Kiss her in the kitchen. Hear a fun song, dance in the living room. Tell her she's hot. Bring her a rose. Make her coffee. Talk. Even its hard subjects. You connect by connecting. I know it sounds obvious, but you just need to start. |
| Something simple and inexpensive is go for a walk. I work 12 hour shift, and I found especially on days I work, taking a mile or 2 walk with my wife when I get home is quite nice. Forced to talk basically. Of course its summer in ID so its light until 9-930 so that helps. |
