So you want to attend a cola warrior?  

First and foremost cola warrior is not a cult.  

ColaWarrior is an event testing an individuals ability to overcome physical obstacles, shoot pistol and rifle as well as enduring a short span of mental and bodily discomfort.  

Before we dive into each facet of the event I want to make it perfectly clear.  This is meant to suck for a small amount of time.  It has been understood that shared pain builds strong bonds.  There is a pile of psychology research under the heading shared pain as social glue its been a known phenomenon among fighting forces for millennia.  Spartans would look to others within the organization as brother because they had endured the same pains together.  

Going to a cola warrior event will not make you a spartan though.  Its only the test.  You have to study for the test on your own to see improvement.  

Obstacle Zero
The very first and for some hardest thing in a cola event is getting signed up and getting to the event.  Every event does sign ups in a different way.  If you are reading this on ar15.com you have already off in the right direction.  I personally think it is a shame that most events are run through ar15.com as it makes it harder for people to sign up as the website has email requirements for sign up that some people just don't have.  

Most events have sign ups in a general discussion thread visible to all some events have off site sign ups or lottery processes for new runners if you have any desire to hit one in your area look up the info for the previous year and it will likely be around the same time.  There is not a public calendar that shows you today on what exact dates the events will be held for the year.  The entire event is organized by volunteers and they need to get things set and be sure it will work so there is normally a window of a few weeks.   If you are loud and proud about wanting to attend your first event the host will almost definitely make it happen for you because we all want you here if you really want to be here.

Event locations are a shotgun blast on the map.  The best way to get one closer to you is to attend some events and ask what it takes to help organize one in your area.  

The last event I was at in the very middle of the country had a runner that drove from Connecticut and others that drove from the furthest corners of the west coast.  This will be the case at almost any event you attend.

Obstacle ½
You pull into some random backwoods pine swamp in the deep south or a corn field in Nebraska there are others already there.  Come on in and introduce yourself.  There ought to be a point of contact from the sign up thread or who ever you heard about things from someone will get you pointed in the right direction.  Get on the run list.  Some events they will grab you and say have you got your gear in the hopes of getting you run right away if they are ready.  Other events will have 20 names on the list and you will wait patiently.  

THE EVENT
This is what you came for.  You tell yourself this as you are standing with one of the people who got hey you'd to grab a clip board and a stopwatch.  “Staff” will walk you through the obstacles and any archaic rules they have decided on.  The obstacle count is five.  Its always five and it will probably always be five.  The obstacles themselves will probably be blind to you until you get there.  Some events will show sneak peaks before hand.  Other events have had the same obstacles as a benchmark for years now with the hopes that you have improved and will be able to do them this year (more on that later).  Each event has a different feel to the obstacles.  Some are a brief heavy movement akin to power lifter workouts.  Others are body weight slug fests forcing you to traverse hanging obstacles or climb up and over things carrying yourself and possibly a weight as well.  The obstacles are as different as the locations that the events are put on at.  No two are the exact same and no one would ask for them to be.  If there have been previous events for the area you can jump on youtube and look for that area and there is likely several videos of people encouraging their peers to do a great job on the obstacles.  

If you can sail through the obstacles no sweat that is great!  If you cannot pass any of the obstacles that is also great.  Each individual will learn something about how to improve whether they do well or not.  The classic event prides itself in hoping that only one or two people out of the entire field will succeed on all five obstacles.  Even succeeding where other have failed may not be the best or winning answer for you.  The amount of time and energy it takes to complete some obstacles will be enough to make some people consider taking a penalty on the obstacle while preserving strength or endurance for others.  

The gaming of obstacles can also be found on some events where obstacle one and two are very hard “gasser” type challenges that take everything out of you and can take several minutes to complete.  The later obstacles may be easily preformed as a stand alone event but after being burnt out is suddenly insurmountable.  





THE SHORT REST
After your obstacles you will find a nice place to sit down with an old AK47 or similar communist trash gun.  You are generally able to look at the gun in advance and if you don't know how to take it apart a small child will be along to show you how.  

You can take a seat and begin taking this apart while looking at a sleeve or 5 marshmallow peeps.  Those need to get into your body before you can begin your run.  The AK takes a bit of time so go ahead and pop a few of the peeps in your mouth and begin chewing on them while working on the field strip.  If your mouth is empty and there are more peeps to eat you need to pause on the field strip and eat more.  Nothing sadder than a competitor sitting on the chair done with the AK but still slowly working on the peeps.  

NICE LITTLE JOG
The peeps will add a sugar rush to you.  Your heart rate will be up and you will finish the peeps just in time to do about a half mile worth of running.  Each run course is slightly different.  The distance is just right that anyone can do it.  The quitter in most people begins to shine during the run.  Its easy to tell yourself that you should just stop running for a few steps then you can run some more.  Some events will require you to carry your rifle, pistol, drinks or any combination of those things.  

Your physical fitness level will dictate whether you preform an 800 meter dash, a slow trot or a walk.  The mantra should be repeated over and over in your head “this is a timed event”.  

THE GUNS AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
You will finish your run approaching the shooting area.  Your wonderful staff member likely followed on a 4 wheeler or is meeting you at the range.  Each event is different so just follow the instructions of the people at the range.  Some events you have to start on a specific gun with a specific target at other events you can choose to engage with rifle first or pistol which ever you think will be more stable immediately following your run.  

The shooting portion would normally be considered something like a gallery shoot.  For most events you are limited to one area to shoot from and will have an assortment of targets at different ranges.  Specialty targets are the norm with most ranges have texas stars, polish plate racks or some other initiated moving target.  You generally have two magazines for your firearm type with some events limiting the number of rounds allowed.  

Ranges generally incorporate some type of shooting “prop” or barricade.  There have been many forms of rooftops, tank traps, vtac barricades among other things.  Several events have seen a vehicle to shoot from a passenger seat or the back door of a bus others have you suspended on a platform by chains which will move during recoil or any minor body movement.  

Normally the targets are not smaller than 3 moa but can stretch out to 500 or so meters away leaving your with a 12-15 inch target at several football fields away.  




ROUNDS COMPLETE
After engaging all targets, expending all ammo or running out of time you will safely leave your firearm either in a drop box, facing up and down range or in the hands of range staff to clear.  

A designated “chug” area will be set up.  Again each event is different.  Some events you have to carry your drinks from the AK to this point.  Other events you will have staged the drinks and will go and begin your chug portion.  

Simply put the chug is not fun.  
Some people really excel at it.  

Some people barely tolerate it.

Some people absolutely loathe it.  

The desired operation is that you quickly move from shooting to drinking and you do not stop until the drinking is complete.  There are a dozen ways to skin this cat.  Some prefer a 2L bottle with chaser feeling that the carbonation control is easier.  Others prefer a six pack of 12 oz knowing that there is a real chance they will fail and the failure of one can is a lesser crime than a failure on a full 2L bottle.  

Drink and continue drinking until the sodas are gone.  You can burp or cry or rest all you want but the sodas must be finished to stop the time or you must quit.  This is completely about mental toughness.  If you puke the container you are on is forfeit.  If that is a 12 ounce can you will throw what remains and move on to the next taking your penalty.  If it is a 2L you will be done and will have a more severe penalty.  If there is more drinking to be done and you find yourself puking this is not an excuse to waste time.  There is still drinking to do.  Get the soda out of you as much as you can then crack open another delicious beverage.  Drink until there is nothing else to drink.  

Once you are done your time is stopped and the ordeal is over.  You can then release the peeps and soda in your stomach or if you are part of an unholy group of about 1% of all cola warriors you will join a group known as the no spew crew.  This is ill advised.

ADDENUMS
There are many ways to cola war.  Most people are not going to win the event.  There is generally a high man, woman, night and sometimes combat.  Night is a whole set of rules that generally won't be open to a first timer. A fairly large percentage of cola warriors have night vision equipment and will gladly let you try them while someone is running at night or while sitting around the campfire.  

Some events will require some form of “combat class”  This might mean wearing body armor, your magazines, light medical supplies and water.  At classic there is also a helmet requirement.  If the course does not require armor you should really complete your first event without.  This is a benchmark tool to see how well you can do and what you are capable without having something to use as an excuse.  

Penalties are what separate most runners from the front of the pack all the way to the bottom.  At some events only one or two runners will see a “clean” run.  This of course is the desired outcome that you have successfully completed all obstacles, hit all targets and finished your sodas before they decided to leave your body.  The five minutes per failure can quickly level out a playing field that may seemed skewed.  There are countless tales of a mighty cola warrior barreling through all obstacles that most saw 2 or 3 out of 5 completed only to see failures on the range or a failed 2L attempt.  

Obstacles are 5 minutes per.  You must make an attempt on the obstacle but some obstacles can take 3-4 minutes if you are competent.  

This year I saw a run failure for the first time.  That was a 30 minute penalty and he was dragged in to somehow continue the shooting part.  

A 12 oz soda is 5 minutes a 24 oz soda is 10 minutes and a 2L is a 30 minute.  

All of this started in 2011 in the swamp with 18 people showing up because it sounded fun.  The first event was free to all who wanted to come. There were some pretty amazing prizes.  Blitz_308 got a tattoo and later started the flyover event.  A handful of pmags, a hat and a lula were also awarded for doing various silly things like wearing a luchador mask during the run.  

Since the beginning the event has been free to those who wanted to come.  Everyone generally chips in some to help get porta johns and provide food.

The starting day and time varies by event.  Some events will have a build day or finishing touches done on Wednesday which might be open for all hands doing some afternoon runs.  Some events will have a build day a weekend before the event which might allow a few runs if they aren't able to make the following week.  Other events will say runs officially start at X time on the Thursday of the event weekend.  The sign up threads will always have that information so read the entire thing and ask questions if unsure.  There is camping on site at all of the events that I know of some that you can bring a trailer/camper right up to the action.  There is almost always a campfire or gazebo or similar spread for you to pull up a chair and just be there.  


Thursday and Friday will see a lions share of the runs normally with a breakfast, lunch and supper for everyone to dig in on.  Some events will announce the meal plan in advance.  Other events will have pop tarts and pizza rolls.    

Saturday will normally see a small number of runners for special situations that weren't able to be out earlier.  A breakfast and lunch is normally available and awards generally happen around lunch.    

Everyone helps do a quick sweep of the area as we take pride in leaving the grounds in better condition than we found them.  Tear down is complete and you likely go home with a better understanding of what you can improve on.  You might have gotten a cool tshirt out of the deal or its possible one of the great sponsors who have supported us in the past provided something for what ever place you got.  In the past I have gotten a trigger, wooden award engraved with the event and my placement and a beer glass with our beloved peep on it.  

Most importantly you take home a network of something like 600-800 other “colabros” that in the past have helped out with family medical expenses, provided dietary information for those trying to better themselves and offer up a wealth of knowledge or basically any subject you might want to know about.  
I hope you come.

Sounds like a cult.

Lol

Frat boy antics in the woods.

Sounds like something someone in a cult would say.

A lot of words for;
Try or do obstacles there is no do not,
Snack and play with adult toys,
Scenic walk, Ranger shuffle, or manic sprint your call,
Make noise with a pistol & rifle, pinging of steel is a good noise too,
And
CHUG & Spew!
Welcome to the cult!
Then do better next time, nobody else cares.
Harsh but Fair

It's hard to have more fun on a weekend than hanging out with your bros at Cola.

Cola Warrior is a lot of things to different people. If you're reading this wondering about attending - it's worth the effort. Come learn about yourself and meet some good people.

Salt of the earth doesn’t sound quite right

Spew of the earth?