Amy Schumer Is Back On The Market!

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Amy Schumer Is Back On The Market! (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 5/17/2017 3:34:43 AM EDT

Go get her, boys!!!

Amy Schumer and Ben Hanisch have called it quits.

"Amy and Ben have ended their relationship after thoughtful consideration and remain friends," a rep for Schumer tells PEOPLE.

The couple was together for nearly a year and a half, though the two were last photographed together in January and had been appearing less frequently on each other's social media.

Schumer, 35, last posted a photo with Hanisch, 30, on March 12 ahead of the Golden Globes, which they attended together. The Chicago-based furniture designer did not accompany the star at the premiere of her latest film Snatched earlier this month.

In an interview with Howard Stern on May 3, Schumer had said that she and Hanisch were still dating.

When the host asked if they were discussing marriage, Schumer replied: "We are talking about today. I love the idea of committing to someone and making that choice and I want to have a family but right now, we are not in talks."

When Stern asked how Schumer and Hanisch keep their relationship going amid their schedules, she said: "It's good to have a lot of space."

The comedian and Hanisch met on a dating app around November 2015. They went public with their then-budding relationship in January 2016, when Schumer called Hanisch her "man" after a visit to the White House.

"[He] is the first guy who's really been my boyfriend," she told Marie Claire in August.

Schumer recounted their first meeting in her book, The Girl with The Lower Back Tattoo. "We smiled at each other and in that moment, everything felt right," she wrote.

"Things were just really easy with him," Schumer told PEOPLE about their romance that summer. "There were no games, no waiting three days. It was clear and easy. He was so sweet. He didn't know who I was. He'd heard my name."

Still, Schumer said she was cautious about getting ahead of herself. "I want to be [as] hopeful in love and commitment as possible," she told PEOPLE, adding, "[But] I come from parents who have each been married three times."

As for her views on marriage, she said, "I can't lie about it. I don't have this blind optimism."

Better be careful about who you meet on POF. It could be her.

Posted: 5/17/2017 3:37:01 AM EDT

[#1]

Has the market collapsed under her weight yet?

Posted: 5/17/2017 3:40:19 AM EDT

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:
Has the market collapsed under her weight yet?

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This little piggy went to market,

Posted: 5/17/2017 3:53:31 AM EDT

[#3]

I'd tap that.

Posted: 5/17/2017 3:56:53 AM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd tap that.

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Just like a big ole barrel keg.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:03:12 AM EDT

[#5]

I'd rather drink a milkshake made of my own fecal matter, hobo vomit and Magic Johnson's bandaids.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:05:07 AM EDT

[#6]

This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:09:47 AM EDT

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

It's the inner ugliness gradually gnawing its way out.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:27:40 AM EDT

[#8]

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:29:18 AM EDT

[#9]

This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

View Quote

Bacon pussy.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:31:46 AM EDT

[#10]

Derper terp.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:34:22 AM EDT

[#11]

I'm waiting for the Arfcom "My POF hookup turned out to be Amy Schumer!" thread from one of our usual cast of bottom feeders.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:35:37 AM EDT

[#12]

I will take 4 pounds of hamhocks and some side cut rib chops.

Posted: 5/17/2017 4:43:47 AM EDT

[#13]

Where's the potato pic

Posted: 5/17/2017 5:16:29 AM EDT

[#14]

You buy Cabbage Patch Kids, you don't date them!

Posted: 5/17/2017 5:32:17 AM EDT

[#15]

Her first boyfriend? And she said met him on an app designed to find fuck buddies? And she's how old?

Well this explains a lot about who I she is.
Maybe she should just start dating that ugly cunt, child molester, Lena Dunham.

Posted: 5/17/2017 5:38:27 AM EDT

[#16]

How much per pound?

Posted: 5/17/2017 5:54:30 AM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
Where's the potato pic

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Posted: 5/17/2017 5:55:33 AM EDT

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

Was she riding the same train 5 years ago?

Posted: 5/17/2017 6:05:53 AM EDT

[#19]

She'll be gaining another 30 pounds eating ice cream because she's depressed.

.

Posted: 5/17/2017 6:09:43 AM EDT

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd tap that.

View Quote

With a sledgehammer

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:11:12 AM EDT

[#21]

Kermit will be happy.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:25:35 AM EDT

[#22]

our first date will be to a trampoline gym.

only the gym will probably be condemned and full of homeless people and broken glass. and she'll be locked inside

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:30:25 AM EDT

[#23]

Oh goody.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:30:31 AM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

Ok- I admit I'd have hit that back then.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:31:53 AM EDT

[#25]

"[He] is the first guy who's really been my boyfriend," she told Marie Claire in August [2016].

View Quote

In August 2016, she would have been 35yo. Well, that explains a lot.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:32:27 AM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

WTF happened? No way. That has GOT to be Photoshopped.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:33:33 AM EDT

[#27]

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:36:07 AM EDT

[#28]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

The answer is secretly hidden in the photo itself.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:36:52 AM EDT

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

There's no way in hell thats her. No fucking way. That's photoshopped. I also find it hard to believe some guy would find that pig attractive and want to date it unless the guy in question was deaf, blind, physically numb and retarded.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:37:47 AM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
Ok- I admit I'd have hit that back then.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

Ok- I admit I'd have hit that back then.

Everyone male on Arfcom would have considered hitting that (well, except for BP and LP, and that's OK).

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:38:57 AM EDT

[#31]

What's the market price for pig on the hoof?

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:39:22 AM EDT

[#32]

Jesus... she resorted to a dating app?

Someone with their own TV show couldn't even rope in a friend of a friend?

I know there's a market for big, white gals with money. Maybe she's racist.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:40:41 AM EDT

[#33]

Who?

A.W.D.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:41:42 AM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd tap that.

View Quote

Him or her?

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:45:36 AM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:
Who?

A.W.D.

View Quote

Oh stop.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:52:26 AM EDT

[#36]

All you guys talking about her weight probably cruise the heavy chick threads in the Babe of the Day forum.

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:56:12 AM EDT

[#37]

Posted: 5/17/2017 8:58:36 AM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:
WTF happened? No way. That has GOT to be Photoshopped.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

WTF happened? No way. That has GOT to be Photoshopped.

I dunno: Related images for that pic.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:02:12 AM EDT

[#39]

There's even a promotion going on.

Attached File

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:02:33 AM EDT

[#40]

Yay, barnyard-smelling vagina!

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:03:32 AM EDT

[#41]

Attached File

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:05:19 AM EDT

[#42]

She would be good to have around to trade to the cannibals in a post-apocalypse world.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:12:33 AM EDT

[#43]

Ex BF is the one in the pink dress:

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:15:27 AM EDT

[#44]

Sweet. I'm a stone's throw from Rockville Centre. Think I'll run into her profile on a date app?

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:18:23 AM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd tap that.

View Quote

Good for you. Why don't you just marry her so the rest of us don't have to hear about it any more after you and her go off into the sunset into marital/communist bliss with your new favorite cousin Chucky Schumer.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:21:39 AM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:
This is from 2012. How does one go so far downhill in 5 years?

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/CMG23B/amy-schumer-at-arrivals-for-comedy-central-roast-of-roseanne-hollywood-CMG23B.jpg

View Quote

Going down hill has nothing to do with her weight it has everything to do with all the disgusting crap that she spews out that makes her as attractive as a puss filled lesion that is turning sceptic.

Julia Roberts isn't chubby and she's totally disgusting as is Sarah Silverman.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:31:36 AM EDT

[#47]

Quote History

Quoted:
Who?

A.W.D.

View Quote

You really don't know how to use Google?

Or haven't seen any of the other Amy Schumer threads? There was one the other day.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:35:26 AM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:
Jesus... she resorted to a dating app?

Someone with their own TV show couldn't even rope in a friend of a friend?

I know there's a market for big, white gals with money. Maybe she's racist.

View Quote

She's unfunny, annoyingly liberal, and she's not original enough to create her own material.

What's to like?

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:36:57 AM EDT

[#49]

Quote History

Quoted:
Sweet. I'm a stone's throw from Rockville Centre. Think I'll run into her profile on a date app?

View Quote

I have a weird feeling we're not creative enough for her.

Hell, my wife is an artist that's moderately liberal and she married me. Can't figure that shit out.

Posted: 5/17/2017 9:38:54 AM EDT

[#50]

Is she that foul mouthed human Miss Piggy thats related to that communist what's his face in the senate?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Amy Schumer Is Back On The Market! (Page 1 of 2)

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