I've Decided To Become A Professional Poker Player

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I've Decided To Become A Professional Poker Player

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:03:37 PM EDT

I think I can do it. I've played poker before, was pretty good, and I have few to no scruples. I'll crush a pensioner and take his hope money and sleep well knowing he will be evicted and back to eating dog food. I'm perfectly fine taking someone's cash and knowing they're going to get kneecapped by the loanshark he owes. I just enjoy the idea of crushing someone's soul and making a few bucks in the process.

So I've decided to get a 70s El Dorado convertible, a light grey Stetson, wear a nice suit, and go by the moniker of West Virginia Fats.

Hookers, blow, the glitz and glamour of the Vegas strip, a beating or two between trips to the all you can eat lobster buffets. At some point I'll piss off the wrong guys, get two to the back of the head and end up in a hole in the desert.

I think it's going to be a good run.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:07:35 PM EDT

[#1]

We are with you OP!

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:09:04 PM EDT

[#2]

Sounds like a great career choice.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:10:30 PM EDT

[#3]

Make sure you watch rounders once a day.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:10:41 PM EDT

[#4]

Do you like scumbags? You will be surrounded by them

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:11:35 PM EDT

[#5]

Funny you mention that OP.
It's my winter time income.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:12:05 PM EDT

[#6]

I wish you well in your quest.

Don't forget to tip the dealer.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:13:20 PM EDT

[#7]

Looking forward to seeing you by the highway onramp with a cardboard sign.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:13:33 PM EDT

[#8]

A little time honing your skill in charlestown and now the big league.
Go for it whats the worst that could happen?
Remember us when your famous.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:15:55 PM EDT

[#9]

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:16:40 PM EDT

[#10]

Lost with pocket kings huh?

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:18:15 PM EDT

[#11]

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:19:18 PM EDT

[#12]

Just have a bankroll of at least 50 buy ins and enough saved that you don't have to touch it for daily living expenses, then go for it.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:21:02 PM EDT

[#13]

OP is bluffing.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:22:42 PM EDT

[#14]

The Position of Fuck You (John Goodman in The Gambler)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfeXqHFmPI

Best advice I can give you.
Remember a wise mans life is based on FUCK YOU.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:29:40 PM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
Do you like scumbags? You will be surrounded by them

View Quote

I'm a scumbag myself. All those other people at the casino will be surrounded by me.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:32:03 PM EDT

[#16]

Been there done that. Except my crew were more like hustlers.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:33:01 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
Looking forward to seeing you by the highway onramp with a cardboard sign.

View Quote

My dad tells a story about when he was stationed at Port Canaveral, there was a JG (and an academy grad to boot) on the Courageous who would dress up like a bum, go into town, and panhandle. He made way more money pretending to be a bum than he did as a CG officer.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:34:51 PM EDT

[#18]

Here's a hint: you won't be playing against the pensioners, you will be playing against people just like you but with lots more experience and less scruples.......

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:36:37 PM EDT

[#19]

I recommend you reconsider and work toward an achievable and lucrative profession.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:38:49 PM EDT

[#20]

If you want to make it as a small-ish time cash game pro then there is lots more consistent action in South Florida or L.A. (California) than Vegas. Also, I've never felt bad winning a pot, regardless of who's on the losing end. Once you put that money on the table it's fair game, if you can't afford to loose it that's your problem. Anything that ends up in the pot is because you put it there, fully knowing you could loose it all. It's got nothing to do with having no scruples.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:39:27 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:
Here's a hint: you won't be playing against the pensioners, you will be playing against people just like you but with lots more experience and less scruples.......

View Quote

I've been playing against the pensioners at the casinos in Wheeling and Chester. Low stakes. It's fun to watch some guy realize he has to go home and explain to his wife of 50 years that his plan didn't work and they aren't getting meds this month.

I don't want fortune and fame, I want just enough to pay the bills. The real juice is in the action of taking away someone's hope and dreams.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:39:40 PM EDT

[#22]

So you're moving to Vegas?
Cause that's the place to be for that.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:42:40 PM EDT

[#23]

Attached File

Mr. Rothstein does not approve.........

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:44:04 PM EDT

[#24]

I don't think anyone has lobster buffets anymore.not since the nineties.
Otherwise solid plan. Good luck.
Also ostrich or alligator boots is a nice touch.

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:52:32 PM EDT

[#25]

Marking these cards - The Cincinnati Kid | Classic Poker Scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQcPFpHLGGY

Posted: 11/30/2018 9:53:44 PM EDT

[#26]

Well there's today's dumber than fuk decision. We have a winner!

Posted: 11/30/2018 10:00:45 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
Well there's today's dumber than fuk decision. We have a winner!

View Quote

meh
could've said he wanted to be a crypto currency day trader.

Posted: 11/30/2018 10:01:19 PM EDT

[#28]

Sounds like one of those pensioners might leave you
in some old coal mine that’s been forgotten.

Posted: 11/30/2018 10:34:34 PM EDT

[#29]

Coworkers cousin does it professionally. She has made a good life for herself. House is even paid off.

Posted: 11/30/2018 10:40:16 PM EDT

[#30]

If you have Facebook here is an awesome hand

https://www.facebook.com/uniqgame/videos/263497464301359/UzpfSTEwMjk3MjE3OTY6MTAyMTU5OTg2NjgxMzI3NTU/

Posted: 11/30/2018 10:55:00 PM EDT

[#31]

"You won''t be able to get a game of jacks" The Sting, Paul Newman | Classic Poker Scene

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPtEClW8M1I

Posted: 11/30/2018 11:00:09 PM EDT

[#32]

My wife grew up with Cody Slaubaugh, he went into poker sometime in his college days and has done very well for himself for over a decade now.

It can be done, but I wonder if he makes more money winning poker games or endorsing internet poker sites.

Posted: 11/30/2018 11:21:49 PM EDT

[#33]

Well I'm going to make my living as a livestreamer, streaming my videogame play on Twitch and YouTube. But since I'm really a BAD player, the way I play it off is that I advertise myself as the worst player livestreaming. Come watch my incompetence and feel better about the fact that, yes, there IS someone out there who's a worse player than you.

This seems to be as likely a way to make a living as to decide to become a professional gambler.

Posted: 11/30/2018 11:23:04 PM EDT

[#34]

Have you considered "Professional sports bettor"?
There's way more action
But just like poker
You gotta know when to walk away

Posted: 11/30/2018 11:32:34 PM EDT

[#35]

Failed To Load Title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-srUxtpnPpw

Posted: 11/30/2018 11:36:59 PM EDT

[#36]

Just sayin'.

Ballad of Buster Scruggs - Surly Joe song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_ZD7rNb_EA

Posted: 12/1/2018 2:28:18 AM EDT

[#37]

Quote History

Quoted:
Do you like scumbags? You will be surrounded by them

View Quote

The biggest problem is lung cancer from second-hand smoke. I think it's a union requirement that at least half the people at any table must be blowing smoke at the other players.

Posted: 12/1/2018 2:36:22 AM EDT

[#38]

Awesome...see you at Charlestown!

Posted: 12/1/2018 8:45:54 AM EDT

[#39]

I approve.

Posted: 12/1/2018 8:49:03 AM EDT

[#40]

Need to speak to my Uncle. He's made and lost fortunes and now in his early 80's lives in the Buffalo NY version of a trailer down by the river.

Posted: 12/1/2018 8:57:46 AM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
OP is bluffing.

View Quote

Posted: 12/1/2018 9:00:59 AM EDT

[#42]

Posted: 12/1/2018 12:20:15 PM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
https://i.imgflip.com/1ymd3v.gif

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+10 Internets for the Onslow gif.

Posted: 12/1/2018 12:26:32 PM EDT

[#44]

I wish you luck. Just don't get caught counting the cards!

Posted: 12/1/2018 12:50:37 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
I wish you luck. Just don't get caught counting the cards!

View Quote

Do you know how I know that you are clueless about poker and gambling in general?

Posted: 12/1/2018 1:37:02 PM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:

Do you know how I know that you are clueless about poker and gambling in general?

View Quote

You're right! I don't waste my time/money. That said, there are many packs in a shoe. Pretty much impossible to count cards.

But, then again, I don't give a shit.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I've Decided To Become A Professional Poker Player

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