SCOTUS approves death penalty for people who use leaf blowers before 8:00am

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - SCOTUS approves death penalty for people who use leaf blowers before 8:00am

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:39:54 PM EST

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a huge win for the Rule of Law, The U.S. Supreme Court has approved the death penalty for anyone who uses a leaf blower before 8 A.M.

"Putting someone to death for waking up the entire neighborhood with an obnoxious leaf blower is not cruel and unusual punishment," said Chief Justice John Roberts of the 9-0 decision. "It is a reasonable and just punishment. The national scourge of waking up to what sounds like a hairdryer being pointed in your ear before you've had your first cup of coffee must end."

Florida will be the first state following the ruling to impose the death penalty for inconsiderate leaf blowing. "Look—this woke early-morning leaf blowing has got to stop!" said Governor Ron DeSantis. "As long as I'm governor, we will continue to protect our citizens from this evil menace! NOT ON MY WATCH!"

Public schools in Florida instantly responded, vowing to defy the governor by blowing leaf blowers in students' faces 24/7 while teaching them CRT and making them wear masks.

Several more states are expected to follow suit, at which point they will turn their attention to imposing the death penalty on those who mow their lawns after 9 P.M.

https://babylonbee.com/news/supreme-court-approves-death-penalty-for-people-who-use-leaf-blowers-before-8-am

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:42:38 PM EST

[#1]

Attached File

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:43:23 PM EST

[#2]

BaHbUhLaWn BeE

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:45:38 PM EST

[#3]

Steve Lukather payback to the neighbor who woke him with leaf blower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nalch4QXtKc

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:47:01 PM EST

[#4]

If lazy people got out of bed sooner, they wouldn't be bitching.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:48:17 PM EST

[#5]

Quote History

Quoted:
Steve Lukather payback to the neighbor who woke him with leaf blower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nalch4QXtKc

View Quote

I guess he misses peace and quiet more than the rains in africa at the point.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:49:28 PM EST

[#6]

Mexican bagpipes

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:50:34 PM EST

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
If lazy people got out of bed sooner, they wouldn't be bitching.

View Quote

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:50:44 PM EST

[#8]

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:51:48 PM EST

[#9]

Does leaf blowing actually do anything?

I get the fall, actual leaves…

But every f’n week after mowing? How about watch where you blow the clippings.

It mostly seems for show to me.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:52:14 PM EST

[#10]

Quote History

Quoted:

I guess he misses peace and quiet more than the rains in africa at the point.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Steve Lukather payback to the neighbor who woke him with leaf blower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nalch4QXtKc

I guess he misses peace and quiet more than the rains in africa at the point.

He blessed the rains, down in Africa.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:52:22 PM EST

[#11]

From my cold dead hands.

I don't even have any trees or leaves.
I'm just that evil.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:53:19 PM EST

[#12]

Quote History

Quoted:
Does leaf blowing actually do anything?

I get the fall, actual leaves…

But every f’n week after mowing? How about watch where you blow the clippings.

It mostly seems for show to me.

View Quote

You might need a new leaf blower

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:55:39 PM EST

[#13]

Roberts would never vote for something like that. He's just the kind of douchebag that would be out there at 7am with his leafblower.

Posted: 2/22/2022 1:55:49 PM EST

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:
Does leaf blowing actually do anything?

View Quote

Yes. I ain't broom sweepin the driveway.

Outline the lawn, blow all clippings from the street/drive/sidewalk/etc, back to center of lawn, finish mowing, have clean surfaces.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:01:30 PM EST

[#15]

My neighbor is so dead!

Attached File

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:02:25 PM EST

[#16]

West Coast 8am or Eastern 8am?

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:02:51 PM EST

[#17]

Do left lane campers next.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:03:00 PM EST

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:
Yes. I ain't broom sweepin the driveway.

Outline the lawn, blow all clippings from the street/drive/sidewalk/etc, back to center of lawn, finish mowing, have clean surfaces.

View Quote

this. i sure as fuck aint going to spend 30 min to clean my sidewalks and driveway with a broom when a blower can do it in 5.....with my gas blower. zero fucks given

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:07:31 PM EST

[#19]

Its not the blower, its the inbred illegal that won't replace the fucking muffler. Theres 2 of these assholes in the neighborhood that need a new muffler on their blowers.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:08:52 PM EST

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:
Mexican bagpipes

View Quote

Attached File

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:10:14 PM EST

[#21]

I use my leaf blower solely for drying the vehicles after washing them. I do however wait until after 10am because it is loud as fuck. At 10:01am it is go time

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:10:17 PM EST

[#22]

Finally!

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:13:15 PM EST

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
Does leaf blowing actually do anything?

I get the fall, actual leaves…

But every f’n week after mowing? How about watch where you blow the clippings.

It mostly seems for show to me.

View Quote

We have a local case where some guy got shot to death over a lawn clippings argument.
It is an interesting case involving self-defense arguments.
I think it went, guy comes out armed over grass clippings getting blown onto his property and Hispanic looking guy goes to truck gets gun and stretches angry homeowner out.
I will need to look in on the status of that case.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:16:03 PM EST

[#24]

Can’t believe it wasn’t state level approved already. That and lane splitting

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:19:24 PM EST

[#25]

Quote History

Quoted:
If lazy people got out of bed sooner, they wouldn't be bitching.

View Quote

If lazy people could use a rake or broom we wouldn't have to suffer through their noise maker/dust storm creator.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:21:11 PM EST

[#26]

So, reveille is totally out of the question?

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:23:20 PM EST

[#27]

Not the ruling we deserve, but the one we needed right now.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:27:17 PM EST

[#28]

Quote History

Quoted:

We have a local case where some guy got shot to death over a lawn clippings argument.
It is an interesting case involving self-defense arguments.
I think it went, guy comes out armed over grass clippings getting blown onto his property and Hispanic looking guy goes to truck gets gun and stretches angry homeowner out.
I will need to look in on the status of that case.

View Quote

I sold a SxS a while back and the gentleman picked it up at my house. Out of the bkue, he looks at my my lawn and says Ive seen that cause a lot of fights and injuries.

I'm very confused.

Umm, sir, what?

He points to my sidelawn where my neighbor has erected a small painters tarp to keep the leaves from my tree out of his lawn. It's the north end of a cul de sac, shit always blows up there.

Anyway, buyer goes on to tell me he's retired OKCFD and he'd responded to many calls over the years because of fights stemming from stuff like leaves.

I had no idea that was even a thing.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:27:46 PM EST

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:
I use my leaf blower solely for drying the vehicles after washing them. I do however wait until after 10am because it is loud as fuck. At 10:01am it is go time

View Quote

i do this too, sometimes, but i have an ego blower, so really, i could do it at 0200 hours and nobody would care.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:31:04 PM EST

[#30]

oh good, maybe they will go after those iccky gun ranges with all their bang bang all day long.

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:32:05 PM EST

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Mexican bagpipes

View Quote

Posted: 2/22/2022 2:35:59 PM EST

[#32]

I will allow it as long as the ass holes that blast music , Guys that work on cars and bikes revving ect, yell at there children/spouse,let the dog bark non stop all after 9pm get the same treatment.