- Joined Apr 2004
- Posts 10725
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EE 100% (4)
WI, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 7:49:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: diesel1]
[#6]
Quote History Originally Posted By StraightShootinGal:Never married and yes, this situation has prompted me to seriously consider that if I keep on messing with guys outside of marriage, it's gonna keep on bringing me drama and crap. Problem is, I grew up in a broken home and don't trust. One time I asked the church (when I just joined the Army) to look for a husband for me, but bailed at the time to meet him. So, again, I believe my childhood is why I don't trust and get landed in bad RLs... This one was what people call a "trauma bond" where I appear to subconsciously bonded with this loser over our terrible childhoods (and that's "if" he was even telling me the truth about his childhood). In the short time I "dated" him, I cried several times feeling bad for him. I even told him that Idk what was going on that I'm there cooking and this/that for a guy when I didn't want all that...I literally told him that I'm investing too much in a RL that I wanted to just keep simple. Going back to the trauma bond, he and my shitty dad have/had similar characteristics...my dad always played the "victim" and was a loser too. Very manipulative. Rumor has it he was a drug dealer too...he had fancy cars and Broncos too. So, I think that's why I bonded with this loser so quickly... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGIi3MpojO0 View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quote History Originally Posted By StraightShootinGal:Originally Posted By diesel1:Originally Posted By axl: OP - how many times have you been married? Not just "married", "failed relationships", including jobs. I know a couple of women whose track record is rather dismal in that regard. Never married and yes, this situation has prompted me to seriously consider that if I keep on messing with guys outside of marriage, it's gonna keep on bringing me drama and crap. Problem is, I grew up in a broken home and don't trust. One time I asked the church (when I just joined the Army) to look for a husband for me, but bailed at the time to meet him. So, again, I believe my childhood is why I don't trust and get landed in bad RLs... This one was what people call a "trauma bond" where I appear to subconsciously bonded with this loser over our terrible childhoods (and that's "if" he was even telling me the truth about his childhood). In the short time I "dated" him, I cried several times feeling bad for him. I even told him that Idk what was going on that I'm there cooking and this/that for a guy when I didn't want all that...I literally told him that I'm investing too much in a RL that I wanted to just keep simple. Going back to the trauma bond, he and my shitty dad have/had similar characteristics...my dad always played the "victim" and was a loser too. Very manipulative. Rumor has it he was a drug dealer too...he had fancy cars and Broncos too. So, I think that's why I bonded with this loser so quickly... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGIi3MpojO0 People tend to gravitate to situations that are "familiar", i.e. "comfort zone", even if it's the same "rut" or miserable situation that they despise. OP seems to have enough insight to understand that and pull herself out. She needs develop her own "12 step" program to make it happen. ETA: I should talk. The Other Resident here is way too much like my mother. And not in a good way.
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