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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:42:35 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Couch-Commando: It might be a cultural thing, it might be a normie who doesn't spend 7 to 10 years in college thing. It might be a midwest thing. But around where I'm at (outside Kansas City), responsible young people seem to be getting married by 25 and having kids immediately. Irresponsible young people are getting knocked up at 18-25. I spent 10 years in college and finally got married and started having kids. My daughter is 1.5 years old. I'd say most folks I see my age around here have a first born that is 8 to 10 years old. I was talking to a contractor the other day, who appeared at most five years older than me, and he was talking about buying his daughter her first car soon. I knew in an academic sense that some areas of the country follow more traditional patterns than others, but after spending so much time in college in Tempe and Raleigh, it is cool to actually live it. I just hope that no one asks my daughter if I'm her grandpa at high school graduation. I was there when that happened to my dad.  I was 36 when our first daughter was born, and 39 for the 2nd. Chasing toddlers around when you're almost 40 SUCKS. Wouldn't trade them for the world though |
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USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:43:32 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Couch-Commando: It might be a cultural thing, it might be a normie who doesn't spend 7 to 10 years in college thing. It might be a midwest thing. But around where I'm at (outside Kansas City), responsible young people seem to be getting married by 25 and having kids immediately. Irresponsible young people are getting knocked up at 18-25. I spent 10 years in college and finally got married and started having kids. My daughter is 1.5 years old. I'd say most folks I see my age around here have a first born that is 8 to 10 years old. I was talking to a contractor the other day, who appeared at most five years older than me, and he was talking about buying his daughter her first car soon. I knew in an academic sense that some areas of the country follow more traditional patterns than others, but after spending so much time in college in Tempe and Raleigh, it is cool to actually live it. I just hope that no one asks my daughter if I'm her grandpa at high school graduation. I was there when that happened to my dad. Twice recently when I have been out with my 8 year old granddaughter I have been asked if she is my daughter. People having children at a later age is more common these days. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:43:49 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By AlabamaFan64: A couple of years ago I got a facebook friend request from one of my friends ex girlfriend. They didn’t have a bad break up and she and I went to school together, so I accepted. Sent him a text saying she’d sent a friend request and I hadn’t heard from her in years. He texted back saying “Don’t give her my phone number, address or any information on me! She’s fucking insane!” I told him I wouldn’t, but she hadn’t done anything but send a request. Two minutes later, hey how are you? Told her I was ok. Next question she wanted to know if I stayed in touch with my friend. He had run into her a couple of months earlier and she started stalking him. She told him she had emotional issues because she never had kids. First I’ve ever heard of that, but she started blowing up my phone asking me about him until I blocked her. From what I saw, she started off friendly enough but the more she texted the angrier and more unhinged she got. Unfriended her and blocked her. Two hours later she sent another request, which I guess she thought I might forget pages of insane ranting. When she was younger there weren’t any signs of insanity, but I didn’t realize a woman not having children derailed them like that. There's a solid chance she didn't have kids because of the emotional issues. Pity the poor bastard who isn't intuitive enough to figure that out before it's too late. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:47:18 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NotIssued: They're going to be miserable dying alone in a nursing home someday. My wife and I have no kids by choice and are almost 40. You are not guaranteed to outlive your children, or that your kids will even give a shit about you when you are older. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:47:32 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SturmgeschutzIII: It’s a fine line, man. The women late 20s into 30s who I encounter dating are horrible. To the point I don’t go out with them anymore. They have been run through in their 20s and are now desperate for any suitable(weak with money) man for kids. That is not something I would advise my daughters become if I had any. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SturmgeschutzIII: Originally Posted By Karankawa: My youngest girl is very slender and can eat almost twice what I do. I hope my girls wait until they’re at least 25 before starting a family. Lots of teen marriages fail. Almost all of the ones from my high school class that I remember. It’s a fine line, man. The women late 20s into 30s who I encounter dating are horrible. To the point I don’t go out with them anymore. They have been run through in their 20s and are now desperate for any suitable(weak with money) man for kids. That is not something I would advise my daughters become if I had any. Higher chance of being unwed mothers these days vs a single chick with kids who was divorced, much less happily married. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:50:01 AM EDT
[#6]
Know a lot of Boomer and Gen X women who elected not to have kids and have absolutely no regrets. They are also very successful in life with nice houses, nice cars/trucks, nice horses, most happily married.
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FL, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 9:51:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: FMJshooter]
[#7]
It never gets talked about but there's a massive amount alcoholic women in The Villages type 55+ communities, probably outnumber the men by a long shot. Judging by their photo montages on the walls and whatnot the vast majority of them are divorcees/no family types. There's no escaping your biology.
Loneliness doesn't get easier the older you get, that's for damn sure. Some all consuming career or tour around Italy isn't going to fill that void. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:04:03 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By FMJshooter: It never gets talked about but there's a massive amount alcoholic women in The Villages type 55+ communities, probably outnumber the men by a long shot. Judging by their photo montages on the walls and whatnot the vast majority of them are divorcees/no family types. There's no escaping your biology. Loneliness doesn't get easier the older you get, that's for damn sure. Some all consuming career or tour around Italy isn't going to fill that void. Them: "Fufu ate a piece of oak plank, isnt that adorable? Ha ha!" Me: "No." Them: "I took him on vacation with me and dressed him as a ballerina! Look at all 87 photos I took of him eating breakfast from my plate! Ha ha!" Me: "  "
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:05:58 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Pallas: The women I know in their 40’s who don’t have kids are happy AF, they travel, they have good careers, they look great. Children/no children goes both ways. There is no free lunch. Wait till they are old and alone with their cats to take care of them. I'm sure all of those awesome vacation's will be a comforting memory vs the human bonds of family. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:07:56 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JLPettimoreIII: everyone dies alone. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JLPettimoreIII: Originally Posted By NotIssued: They're going to be miserable dying alone in a nursing home someday. It ain't the dying part. It's how you get there. Getting there alone or surrounded by people who only see you as a paycheck is a shitty way to get there. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:09:06 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Lucy]
[#11]
No kids by choice. Several relationships have ended because the girls wanted kids and I told them absolutely no chance.
Haven’t had a girlfriend in almost 10 years. Find me a woman who doesn’t want them and more importantly doesn’t already have them and maybe it’ll work out, but that hasn’t been my case |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:09:27 AM EDT
[#12]
Wait till all the people who mutilated their genital's will find out that they ruined their lives because they are mentally ill or peer pressure.
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MN, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:11:12 AM EDT
[#13]
Lol lots of angry dudes in this thread.
Very Karen like posters, can't let other people make their own decisions. |
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AL, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:12:42 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Hesperus: Having children is much too expensive a thing for most people to consider. And when some thing is too expensive it must be cut out of your life like a cancerous tumor. A society that does not afford itself children, by any means or sacrifice is a dying one. I went to a funeral viewing two days ago. A young Hispanic friend's father died suddenly. I really like this kid, so i went to pay respects. I found it odd seeing so many children and babies. What was odd about it was I'd not seen such a ratio of children to adults at such a "white" gathering since i was a kid in the 60s. Most of the adult men i shook hands with had firm handshakes. Hands were rough. Most vehicles were modest, older and well taken care of. Those folks have made a way for children. Those that make babies will survive and flourish. Those that don't, won't. Posterity does not give a flying fuck about your new Lexus, expensive home or your annual party flights to Fiji. It cares about that crying infant you are calming at 3:04 AM. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:46:19 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TGE: I wouldn't say the doctor is deciding what she's allowed to do with her body. The doctor is deciding what he is willing to do with his own body, and if he doesn't want to sterilize healthy young people he shouldn't be compelled or even pressured to do so IMO. If a woman has to shop around for someone to cripple her reproductive system, so be it. That'd be a warning flag to anyone with an IQ over 80 anyway, especially considering how easy it is to find doctors willing to commit abortions, not to mention trans genital mutilation surgery and the like. This is really the best application of "people should be able to make their own decisions" there is. Apply that straight across the board...the woman can get whatever procedure she wants done, but can't force her doctor to do it against his own wishes. She can just keep shopping until she finds someone willing. No doctor should be a slave to their patients' wishes. |
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NE, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 10:53:16 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JLPettimoreIII: everyone dies alone. stupidest saying ever it's a way to justify a poorly executed life "hurrdurr, everybody dies alone, so it is no big deal I will be all by myself in my basement" uh huh you would rather do that than surrounded with people who loved you sure |
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WA, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 11:12:48 AM EDT
[#17]
The problem is the Smith family is having zero kids and regretting it. However the Rodriguez, Wang, and Gomez families are have five kids each.
It won’t take long before the Smiths are no more……. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 1:34:33 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By RedAngus: This is really the best application of "people should be able to make their own decisions" there is. Apply that straight across the board...the woman can get whatever procedure she wants done, but can't force her doctor to do it against his own wishes. She can just keep shopping until she finds someone willing. No doctor should be a slave to their patients' wishes. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By RedAngus: Originally Posted By TGE: I wouldn't say the doctor is deciding what she's allowed to do with her body. The doctor is deciding what he is willing to do with his own body, and if he doesn't want to sterilize healthy young people he shouldn't be compelled or even pressured to do so IMO. If a woman has to shop around for someone to cripple her reproductive system, so be it. That'd be a warning flag to anyone with an IQ over 80 anyway, especially considering how easy it is to find doctors willing to commit abortions, not to mention trans genital mutilation surgery and the like. This is really the best application of "people should be able to make their own decisions" there is. Apply that straight across the board...the woman can get whatever procedure she wants done, but can't force her doctor to do it against his own wishes. She can just keep shopping until she finds someone willing. No doctor should be a slave to their patients' wishes. I agree, but a refusal should be accompanied by a referral to a provider who doesn’t have the same objections. This is something I’m having to contend with as I approach graduation from NP school. I refuse to offer gender transition services. I simply won’t do it. Won’t prescribe the meds, won’t sign the paperwork, absolutely not. So I understand not forcing providers to provide services they are ethically opposed to. But a referral to another provider should be given in the event that the provider cannot or will not provide services. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 2:02:23 PM EDT
[#19]
People who regret not having children didn't really want any in the first place. You have to give up being selfish. You have to become an adult (at least to do it right).
It does not have to be that expensive. A friend of mine who doesn't have any kids (at least that he knows about) said he wouldn't mind having a child. He said he would visit it once in a while. There is no point in getting married if you plan to remain childless. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 2:47:48 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Paul_Sothern: People who regret not having children didn't really want any in the first place. You have to give up being selfish. You have to become an adult (at least to do it right). It does not have to be that expensive. A friend of mine who doesn't have any kids (at least that he knows about) said he wouldn't mind having a child. He said he would visit it once in a while. There is no point in getting married if you plan to remain childless. It doesnt mean they are selfish. You do realized that plenty of people are just self aware enough to know that they would be piss poor parents. |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 3:04:09 PM EDT
[#21]
We talked about it every year or so for a long time. I figured as time went on one of us would want kids but the opposite happened.
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TX, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 3:24:29 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BombCrater: Or maybe they are too smart? Some people know themselves well enough at an early age to know that kids aren't right for them. I did. My wife did. Where is it said that one must sacrifice one's life to raise little booger pickers? Oh yeah, religion. Like I have said having kids is not a good choice for high IQ people. Especially today with the whole world circling the drain. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BombCrater: Originally Posted By TheOtherDave: Most women freak out if they haven’t had a kid long before then. Being honest though, most young people today are too selfish to have kids and give up freedom. Or maybe they are too smart? Some people know themselves well enough at an early age to know that kids aren't right for them. I did. My wife did. Where is it said that one must sacrifice one's life to raise little booger pickers? Oh yeah, religion. Like I have said having kids is not a good choice for high IQ people. Especially today with the whole world circling the drain. Nope, too selfish. All about them. |
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GBR
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Posted: 5/4/2024 3:50:29 PM EDT
[#23]
Choices have consequences. Who knew?....
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MT, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 3:54:05 PM EDT
[#24]
The answer is yes mostly…
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/23780231221142969?icid=int.sj-abstract.citing-articles.43 |
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Posted: 5/4/2024 3:54:30 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tooldforthis: stupidest saying ever it's a way to justify a poorly executed life "hurrdurr, everybody dies alone, so it is no big deal I will be all by myself in my basement" uh huh you would rather do that than surrounded with people who loved you sure my job will likely kill me in a glorious and/or spectacular fashion and will be a reportable incident to MHSA.
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MI, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 4:31:43 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TGE: I don't know if the childless women are happier or unhappier, but my god they all want to talk about their little dogs that they treat like children. The biological imperative is real. Them: "Fufu ate a piece of oak plank, isnt that adorable? Ha ha!" Me: "No." Them: "I took him on vacation with me and dressed him as a ballerina! Look at all 87 photos I took of him eating breakfast from my plate! Ha ha!" Me: " "They're almost as insufferable as the women that won't shut up about their kids. No one wants to listen to someone who has reduced her entire personality to "Jayden's mom". |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 5/4/2024 5:32:33 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Naamah: I agree, but a refusal should be accompanied by a referral to a provider who doesn’t have the same objections. This is something I’m having to contend with as I approach graduation from NP school. I refuse to offer gender transition services. I simply won’t do it. Won’t prescribe the meds, won’t sign the paperwork, absolutely not. So I understand not forcing providers to provide services they are ethically opposed to. But a referral to another provider should be given in the event that the provider cannot or will not provide services. Well, yes and no…this presumes that the refusing party cares to or actually does keep up with who in the community will provide those services. It might be a case of not having time to research that, might be a case of not having relationships with other doctors who don’t share their same morals/ethics/objections/standards of practice, or other legitimate reasons. So this circles back around to the doctor in this case not being obligated at all to spend his/her time finding or referring the prospective patient to a willing provider. Ultimately, that falls 100% on the client who wants the procedure. On the other hand, if one does in fact know of such a provider/practice that is willing, then I agree-offer the referral and allow the client to source whatever procedures they want. One person’s unwillingness or inability (for any reason whatsoever) to provide a service/procedure for another shouldn’t be an instant roadblock for that party, nor should anyone’s desire for a service/procedure in any way be an obligation to an unwilling provider. Evenly applied: no gatekeeper, no forced/coerced labor or efforts. |
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VA, USA
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Posted: 5/7/2024 11:14:07 AM EDT
[#28]
Forgot one option, artificial insemination.
And you get to stay single. |
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Posted: 5/7/2024 11:23:50 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NotIssued: They're going to be miserable dying alone in a nursing home someday. What makes you think they'd be good enough parents to warrant their children taking care of them in their old age? I can promise you that'd only happen for one of my parents. The other is currently living out his reality after putting drugs and alcohol before his family and his only child for basically his entire adult life... *shrugs* |
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Posted: 5/7/2024 2:29:17 PM EDT
[#30]
Yes...they will freak...then blame others...then rationalize it away as a good thing and that they have a better life than everyone else because strong and empowered or something.
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Posted: 5/7/2024 3:31:56 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By delemorte: G Wait till they are old and alone with their cats to take care of them. I'm sure all of those awesome vacation's will be a comforting memory vs the human bonds of family. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By delemorte: Originally Posted By Pallas: The women I know in their 40's who don't have kids are happy AF, they travel, they have good careers, they look great. Children/no children goes both ways. There is no free lunch. Wait till they are old and alone with their cats to take care of them. I'm sure all of those awesome vacation's will be a comforting memory vs the human bonds of family. |
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Posted: 5/7/2024 3:45:54 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By AR15Texan: Nope, too selfish. All about them. Then why is your side repeatedly bringing up wanting someone to take care of them when they're old? Seems selfish to have children for the purpose of changing your diaper. It's honestly kind of fucked that yall would want that. Don't you want your kids to live their lives without you being a burden in both time and money? |
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