Ok, bear with me here for a minute. I'd like to hear input from other officers, but need to give the back story first. Last night I was called in with some other team members from CERT (Corrections Emergency Response Team). We are not the same type of CERT you saw in the New York escape and others. We are much closer in tactics and equipment to a standard LE SWAT team. Anyway, we got called to go hunt down an absconder from a work release center after their absconder team was pulled off the case. The reason was because this particular offender has been posting pictures on social media of him with guns, taunting the police, etc. On a previous arrest this offender tried to run over an officer with a car and was in turn shot by said officer. He now has a vendetta with police. He had approximately 9 months remaining on his sentence but an escape warrant has been issued which would add 8 years minimum mandatory to his sentence. While interviewing numerous players in the investigation, they all said this offender has made it known that he is not going back to prison without a gun fight. Upon hearing this and knowing the particular area of the city we were about to hit, I was instantly filled with an anxiety. I didn't go into the black, but I was definitely in the red. I started sweating, heart racing, nauseous, etc. Now this is the first time we've been on the street in a long while, and certainly the first time we've been told to expect a gun fight. My question is, how many others experience this when going to a call you know has the potential to be more dangerous? Is this a normal feeling, and if so, how do you harness it? I have to be honest and say that I was more anxious about this situation than my time spent in Iraq and Afghanistan.

My best friend is a county police officer and I talked to him last night after we wrapped up. He told me that he's had the same feelings but not until after a particularly high risk call. He says that I was just overthinking  and over analyzing the scenario, basically expecting the absolute worst. I just want to get some clarification, make sure I'm not losing it so that I don't become a detriment to my team or myself. What do you guys think?

Having some anxiety and fear is a good thing, it ensures you don't got off half cocked and but you and your team in a bad spot.  As long as it is a manageable level, if you hit vapor lock and can't function due to fear that is just as bad as having no fear at all.   Every domestic I get called too I have a certain level of anxiety, same with every traffic stop but I use  it to my advantage.  At a certain level of fear, anxiety, or what ever you want to call it your senses will heighten which is a part of the bodies fight/flight response.   Perfectly normal and natural.   Now there has been a few times where it didn't hit till after the fact and that was due to me going back and replaying the events and realizing I did something incredibly dumb that could've ended badly.   If you want to talk about it shoot me an IM

Normal....not normal if you can't manage it.

I've made peace with my death.  It's going to happen one day.  We are all terminal....no one gets out of life alive.  I hope to live to a long healthy life and live off my retirements for as long as possible.  However, I also have plenty of life insurance so my wife will be in good shape financially if I die...especially if I die in the line of duty.  

I would rather die bravely than to live like a coward.  

If you can't confront your fears, then you might consider a new line of work.  But remember, we ALL experience fear from time to time.  The fear of death is worse than death itself.  

I remember going on a patrol in Iraq once.  We all were nervous from the moment we woke up because there was a lot of unknowns.  We got ambushed outside of Fallujah later that day.  IED hit my truck.  As soon as the IED went off, there was actually a sense of relief because we now knew where the enemy was and that meant we could start acting.  It was the unknown that was scary.  Once we knew where the enemy was, the fear largely evaporated.  

Remember this too.....the element of surprise is critical to success of tactical operations.  You can use great tactics without the element of surprise and your risk will be high.  You can use bad tactics but have the element of surprise and you will usually be successful.  Combine good tactics with the element of surprise and you'll win every time.  

Did you get the guy?

Good luck brother.

The guys above explained it perfectly.  The more you experience fear/anxiety the better you will be able to handle it. I found out Col. Grossman's tactical breathing tips help ease the anxiety. Deep breath in, hold for count, release for same count. As I am going to calls, I take several tactical breaths until my pulse, BP, and everything else settles (I can feel the change).

No reason to loose sleep over it. Most officers get nervous before going to high risk calls.  If they say they don't, they are probably hiding it.


"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." Nelson Mandela

Fear is natural.  Are you sure it isn't just adrenaline?  If you know your job, and you know your team knows theirs, just do it by the numbers.

We did not get the guy. We got some good intel and will be doing some more investigative work before we make our next tactical move. It may have partially been adrenaline, but from incidents inside the prison I know that  I'll usually end up getting the shakes after a big adrenaline dump. Anxiety and fear of the unknown is something that has always bothered me, but it's never prevented me from performing my duties. I'm not about to let it start now. I appreciate the responses, and I'm looking forward to more. I'm thinking part of the nausea and bubble guts came from the pizza I ate just before we geared up lol.

This is NOT restricted to just the police and military.

BTDT.

I got 'em after Obamas first election.
To the OP, don't overthink your emotions.  You are perfectly normal.

If you train hard/ a lot and mentally prepare you can greatly minimalize those things. The second part of the equation is having more  experience in those types of situations. A third will just be your own personality/feelings on the matter. And when I say that I mean when you hear someone escapes and has a gun and is taunting the police claiming he's going to shoot it out with them do you feel like you should be the one/do you WANT to be the one to confront him and take him down?  Some people have a drive for that sort of thing and some don't.  



Either way anybody with anything to lose will feel those things to some effect or another. Its just a matter of being able to manage those things and stay on your game so when the shooting does start you don't freeze up.  You go into a situation expecting a gunfight and if one doesn't happen you feel relieved. If one does happen you should feel ready, not surprised.


The key thing here is expect the worse and be mentally prepared for it. If you go through life/your career thinking it won't happen or hoping it won't happen you likely will be caught with your pants down.

It happens.  I can recall one night when I was getting ready to head up a stair well on a very active call and I was just standing there thinking "What in the Hell am I about to do?"  It took me a few seconds to snap out of it and get my feet moving.  I can still see that stair well like it was yesterday.  The suspect escaped out a window and we had a K9 drag him out of a nearby house about an hour later.