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Posted: 1/26/2021 10:25:44 PM EDT
Right after 9/11 we were put on gate guard adjacent to a Federal Bird Sanctuary near a river. The Sergeant of the guard decided to take the HUMMV off roading and got it stuck in the mud up to the frame. Instead of biting the bullet and calling the recovery team to recover the vehicle, he goes and cuts the lock on a HEMMT wrecker.
Of course he sinks that, now hes screwed instead of saying I fucked up he doubles down on stupid. He goes and steals an 88 tank wrecker and gets that stuck. While hes using the front winch to recover the the 88 the federal wildlife marshal sees the oak tree he had the winch tied to starting to lean over and goes over for a quick look. The marshal calls the MPs, who alert the post commander. It was a shit show after that. This guy became the example of what not to do, he was an E6, over 1mil worth of damage to a federally protected wildlife area and military vehicles ..he left the unit an E4. |
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In before video of humvees dropping out of plane with sabatoged parachutes and soldiers giggling.
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We had a battalion commander that made us wax our vehicles so they would look good for inspection. A bigger shitshow I have not been involved in than waxing a 151
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I did a lot of work getting a rooftop emergency generator running again, from fuel lift pump, all new outdoor piping, to injection pump, timing and injectors... when Irma came through the decision was made (above my paygrade) to leave the generators off to avoid sending electricity in to the storm surge. Somebody also made the decision to leave all the food in place and just evacuate very early without completing their checklist of responsibilities.
There was no storm surge at that location, but the food in the walk-in freezers and reefers sat for WEEKS in the now hot boxes in the key west sun. They ended up having to call in Serve-pro to dispose of the waste, and had to condemn and gut the walk-ins and build entirely new inside the shell of the building. |
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Guy I knew went to Korea a brand new E5 next thing I know he’s being escorted around and has no rank (E1) bad conduct discharge for sexual assault
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Buddy blew his rx7 engine as It beeped from low oil after boot camp or second training for marines.
Said can't go back till I fix it. Went back like 27 days later. Demoted had to stay on the ship when they hit port |
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One time I was asked to put my targeting pod on a specific set of grids, only to see a dude fucking a donkey.
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This is an easy one.
Extremely abbreviated Cliff Notes version: Port call at NAF Midway Island, 1987. Sonartech Alan Polar got insanely drunk, ate several field mice, hallucinated, then stole a firetruck, drove it out onto the runway while a C-141 was on final. Alan raced said firetruck down the runway, off of the apron, down the beach and into the ocean. What immediately followed was the biggest shit-storm I've ever personally witnessed. |
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There was the Blackhawk crash that I survived. I could go on but whats the point .
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I closed a 50ft hangar door on an Apache M/R blade.
It's a long story but I positioned them clear of door and someone else moved them before I started closing the door (by hand, non-motorized door). |
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Quoted: This is an easy one. Extremely abbreviated Cliff Notes version: Port call at NAF Midway Island, 1987. Sonartech Alan Polar got insanely drunk, ate several field mice, hallucinated, then stole a firetruck, drove it out onto the runway while a C-141 was on final. Alan raced said firetruck down the runway, off of the apron, down the beach and into the ocean. What immediately followed was the biggest shit-storm I've ever personally witnessed. View Quote Attached File |
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A COL had to be told by the MG that he would not receive BG because he ran his PM through tyranny, micromanagement, and oppression.
Kharn |
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Dropped an SLR array for a RA-5C into the drink. Bad oops there.
(Not my fault) |
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Quoted: Waxing military vehicles that have CARC paint? https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/183/393/961.png View Quote Yeah you should actually try doing it... |
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The Shitty Kitty collided with the Canonball Express. Collision.
The article does not tell the full story. Aft fueling station 12 was destroyed (and cost over a million bucks to effect repairs) so emergency rigging was done allowing for forward fueling station 2 to be used. The Shitty Kitty came alongside and fueling commenced. She got got too far away and parted the steel cable that connets the fueling probe between the ships. In less than two hours the carrier reduced fueling capacity of the Wabash on the port side by 50%. They indicate the no one was injured which is true but that's only because everyone was paying attention and abandoned their posts when they saw the aft aircraft elevator getting ready to crush the winch booth and associated equipment on station 12. |
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An advance E7 in Iraq piss off the unit we were replacing who kept their M4s instead of letting us take them over. He also got TKO'd by another E7 halfway through the deployment because of how big of a POS he was. He requested court-martial against the other E7 and the officers in the TOC to be witnesses, who then all proceeded to say they didn't see anything happen.
Dude was already a pariah for the M4 incident. He became a leper after being a bitch tits about being knocked the fuck out. |
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Quoted: One time I was asked to put my targeting pod on a specific set of grids, only to see a dude fucking a donkey. View Quote Donkey = William Dafoe Smoking guns Kharn |
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These threads are much better if saved for later reading while inebriated.
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A bunch of wtf, one that sticks out is the time we flew into Germany on the way to Manas before going to Afghanistan as we got off of the plane there was a group of German Police officers hanging out by the plane, idiot steps off of the plane and proceeded to give the nazi salute and allegedly see kyle to the officers, said idiot was ordered back on the plane and was told that he wasn't allowed off of the plane.
Another was courtesy of 2CR NDing twice into a clearing barrel days apart. Another good one is the time I went from gunner to driver when my bud had a full send it moment when he drove an up armored into a swamp despite an I told you so moment. One that also sticks out was when we were offroad training on a trail and the lead truck took a wrong turn and we were legit driving through woods and came across a bunch or warning signs for UXO. Or the time we got lost on FT Dix driving to the range and ended up off post, pulled into a liquor store parking lot and the business called the cops on us. I guess 30 something Humvees in the lot was suspicious. Way to go 1st platoon lead truck. |
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Got to watch the U.S.S. Theodore Roosevelt back over one of our escorts during workups (My shop is right there, behind the blast doors under the edge of the flight deck. Makes for one hell of a place to watch the birds landing!) . Off the coast of Georgia, out in free water. HOW THE FUCK do you BACK over an escort Frigate? Teddy Ruxpin- "Hold my beer, I'll show ya." Somehow, NO loss of life happened, on either ship.
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Fort Bragg in the mid 80's. We had a Major on staff who was an early selected for LTC and battalion command. He convinced a Cobra crew to let him and his buddy skydive from the ammo doors of the Cobra. They were seen and busted. He got a General Court Martial, dismissed from service loss of all pay. Goes from water walker to zero. Ruined his life for a cheap dumb ass thrill.
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Saw a E6 blow up a million dollar range with a live TOW , the range was meant for training rounds. He made E4.
An E8 Vietnam Vet. getting ready to retire was found in the Frankfurt Bahmhof unresponsive and with a needle in his arm. He was allowed to retire as a E1. A Drill Sgt. in Basic, while teaching the LAW with sub-cal rounds checked on the plate over the primer. Blew his hand off when the round went off. |
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When I was a kid my dad had an old friend over. This guy started in the navy before WWII. They were swapping navy screw ups and my dad told a story of pipes with arrows showing the direction of the flow. He followed the arrows threw a bulkhead only to discover another set of arrows pointing back at him on the same pipe.
Not impressed the old friend told a story of a ceremony being conducted on the hanger deck of a carrier. Some genius thought it would be funny to activate the fire sprinklers on the ceremony... it was funny until fuel came out of the sprinklers. |
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Late 80s Mather AFB. Napoleonic ass of a Sgt LE decided to chase jack rabbits behind the flight line in some fields and found a ditch and rolled his K car cruiser. Next thing I knew I out ranked him!
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Two of us E4's on CQ but the other dude was promotable so he was allowed to be put on the CQ NCO list.
Dude decided to get drunk upstairs in the barracks with his buddies while I was downstairs at the desk. BN staff duty NCO (E-6) found that idiot drunk as a skunk upstairs somewhere while making one of his rounds. Entire COC gets called in. Mr Promotable gets taken to the MP station for a breathalyzer. Forget what he blew but it was up there. He wasn't just a little buzzed or having a good time but was barely with it by the time top and the CO showed up. |
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I was in the field nearby the day this happened. I didn’t see it but I heard all hell break loose on the radio when it happened.
Army helicopters collide during exercise at Ft. Campbell June 18 1996 |
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Quoted: The Shitty Kitty collided with the Canonball Express. Collision. The article does not tell the full story. Aft fueling station 12 was destroyed (and cost over a million bucks to effect repairs) so emergency rigging was done allowing for forward fueling station 2 to be used. The Shitty Kitty came alongside and fueling commenced. She got got too far away and parted the steel cable that connets the fueling probe between the ships. In less than two hours the carrier reduced fueling capacity of the Wabash on the port side by 50%. They indicate the no one was injured which is true but that's only because everyone was paying attention and abandoned their posts when they saw the aft aircraft elevator getting ready to crush the winch booth and associated equipment on station 12. View Quote I was on the flight deck of the USS Wasp when we hit a refueling ship while refueling. Or they hit us. It was surreal to watch the two ships getting closer, and closer, and closer with hundreds of Sailors on the decks of both ships. The lines with the little distance flags kept getting reeled in, more and more. I understand that an UNREP is a dangerous, complicated evolution. But I have a hard time understanding how one ship can hit literally, the only thing in sight larger than the god damned ocean. |
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Quoted: Right after 9/11 we were put on gate guard adjacent to a Federal Bird Sanctuary near a river. The Sergeant of the guard decided to take the HUMMV off roading and got it stuck in the mud up to the frame. Instead of biting the bullet and calling the recovery team to recover the vehicle, he goes and cuts the lock on a HEMMT wrecker. Of course he sinks that, now hes screwed instead of saying I fucked up he doubles down on stupid. He goes and steals an 88 tank wrecker and gets that stuck. While hes using the front winch to recover the the 88 the federal wildlife marshal sees the oak tree he had the winch tied to starting to lean over and goes over for a quick look. The marshal calls the MPs, who alert the post commander. It was a shit show after that. This guy became the example of what not to do, he was an E6, over 1mil worth of damage to a federally protected wildlife area and military vehicles ..he left the unit an E4. View Quote Totally worth it. I didn't do any of that stuff and you think the government would share the money I saved. |
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When I was a sergeant, back in the regiment in the old country, I once saw a Christmas tree catch fire in the sergeant’s mess because a drunken sergeant knocked it over, and the candles in the (real) tree started a fire. Luckily, the bartender - who ironically had been given a lifetime job by the army because he was horribly burned and disfigured in a tank accident - had a fire extinguisher handy, and put out the fire pretty quickly.
Fortunately, nobody learned ANY lessons that day. |
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Quoted: Fort Bragg in the mid 80's. We had a Major on staff who was an early selected for LTC and battalion command. He convinced a Cobra crew to let him and his buddy skydive from the ammo doors of the Cobra. They were seen and busted. He got a General Court Martial, dismissed from service loss of all pay. Goes from water walker to zero. Ruined his life for a cheap dumb ass thrill. View Quote We continue to drum out our Stephen Decaturs and promote the woke cowards. I witnessed an ANA fire mission, every kalaat but the target was hit. Afghan good enough... |
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Quoted: Waxing military vehicles that have CARC paint? https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/183/393/961.png View Quote I was a guest O/C at JRTC, they told me I had to coat the outside of my HUMVEE in cooking oil to make it shiny since they were dull and beat up. I told them i'm not coating a military vehicle in oil, and they told me if I dont it wouldn't pass turn in inspection. I told them "it just did", and got in my rental car and drove to the airport. |
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Quoted: I was in the field nearby the day this happened. I didn’t see it but I heard all hell break loose on the radio when it happened. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZy8Qtyj6To View Quote we had the same thing happen at schofield in Hi ...2 medevac birds collided and landed on the medics below them nobody survived |
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My first company commander didn't show up to work for 3 days and wasn't answering his phone or pager (this being pre-cell phone days). They finally sent someone to his house off base and found him naked and unconscious from alcohol poisoning. I never saw him again.
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Quoted: I was a guest O/C at JRTC, they told me I had to coat the outside of my HUMVEE in cooking oil to make it shiny since they were dull and beat up. I told them i'm not coating a military vehicle in oil, and they told me if I dont it wouldn't pass turn in inspection. I told them "it just did", and got in my rental car and drove to the airport. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Waxing military vehicles that have CARC paint? https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/183/393/961.png I was a guest O/C at JRTC, they told me I had to coat the outside of my HUMVEE in cooking oil to make it shiny since they were dull and beat up. I told them i'm not coating a military vehicle in oil, and they told me if I dont it wouldn't pass turn in inspection. I told them "it just did", and got in my rental car and drove to the airport. fuck dynacorp with a saguaro cactus..those ass fucks made NTC miserable. |
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Order to dump fuel on Camp Lejeune static display ..............
I am Camp Lejeune water contamination victim |
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uss iowa peeled back the side of my ship when coming along side.
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Quoted: I was a guest O/C at JRTC, they told me I had to coat the outside of my HUMVEE in cooking oil to make it shiny since they were dull and beat up. I told them i'm not coating a military vehicle in oil, and they told me if I dont it wouldn't pass turn in inspection. I told them "it just did", and got in my rental car and drove to the airport. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Waxing military vehicles that have CARC paint? https://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/183/393/961.png I was a guest O/C at JRTC, they told me I had to coat the outside of my HUMVEE in cooking oil to make it shiny since they were dull and beat up. I told them i'm not coating a military vehicle in oil, and they told me if I dont it wouldn't pass turn in inspection. I told them "it just did", and got in my rental car and drove to the airport. Sounds like the permanent-party O/Cs were fucking with you. Dick move on their part. We tried to take good care of our guest O/Cs when I was there. |
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When I was at Ft Riley..again, we were at the range and the gunbunnies a few ranges down overshot the impact area and dropped a round on a house off post. Luckily the house was for sale and empty at the time, everybody from the Post Commander to the Bn CO showed up everybody with any rank were relieved on the spot.
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Is this thread for things you witnessed personally in the military, or things you heard about from someone you know really really well?
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Quoted: When I was a sergeant, back in the regiment in the old country, I once saw a Christmas tree catch fire in the sergeant’s mess because a drunken sergeant knocked it over, and the candles in the (real) tree started a fire. Luckily, the bartender - who ironically had been given a lifetime job by the army because he was horribly burned and disfigured in a tank accident - had a fire extinguisher handy, and put out the fire pretty quickly. Fortunately, nobody learned ANY lessons that day. View Quote FFS... It's obvious that the bartender had it burned into his head to keep an extinguisher close. |
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