You’re teleported back to the year 1000 AD, wherever you want. What do you do?

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - You’re teleported back to the year 1000 AD, wherever you want. What do you do? (Page 1 of 5)

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:47:18 AM EDT

The year is 1000 AD.

Based on your knowledge of history/technology, and your skill set (without google), what would you do?

What would you be able to teach/tell/show people that would accelerate human culture/economy/technology?
(Not counting your knowledge of firearms, because that's too easy.)

You get to choose where you are teleported, but other than that you have clothes on your back and the equivalent of $50,000 in local currency.

For refrence - Leif Eriksson has just discovered North America, and Danes will control all of England just 13 years from now.

Side note: I would bet some of us would get ourselves executed/murdered fairly quickly.

Aaaannnnnddddd fo.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:52:17 AM EDT

[#1]

Tell Leif to broker the deal on some Manhattan real estate, cheap.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:54:30 AM EDT

[#2]

I would use science to make the native americans think I was a god.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:54:46 AM EDT

[#3]

Find the lineage of Mohammad and...

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:55:13 AM EDT

[#4]

I would die of dysentery

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:55:41 AM EDT

[#5]

Quote History

Quoted:
Find the lineage of Mohammad and...

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Fo baxk 400 more years and just do us all a favor

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:55:55 AM EDT

[#6]

Fire that fucker back up to bring me back to today.

I got no desire to live in the 11th century.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:56:52 AM EDT

[#7]

I doubt there was much demand for C programmers back then, so I wouldn't do well.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:58:08 AM EDT

[#8]

China. Corner the opium market. Trade with Europe.

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:58:38 AM EDT

[#9]

i would probably be a slave, fuck that

Posted: 1/5/2018 11:59:47 AM EDT

[#10]

I spent years writing a story about this very scenario in high school.

The Netherlands.

A variety of historical and technical works.

The protagonist basically started the European Union a thousand years ahead of schedule.

Oh the things we do when we are young and stupid.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:00:17 PM EDT

[#11]

I would farm crops and have a shit load of kids

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:01:19 PM EDT

[#12]

Break a wagon wheel and not have the supplies to fix it.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:01:55 PM EDT

[#13]

Iceland.

Establish rapport with a crew going to Greenland. Convince Leif of the existence of Vinland. Create underground railroad to funnel believers of the old gods out of Norway and Iceland to Vinland to escape the forced conversion. Colonize. Establish trade with Dublin and Denmark. Goods from the new world and old world greed overcome religious pressures. Trade flourishes.

But more likely I'd get my throat slit for not speaking the language.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:03:25 PM EDT

[#14]

Find Rian Johnson's ancestors and make them eunuchs thus saving Star Wars.

You're welcome.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:03:36 PM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
Find the lineage of Mohammad and...

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...take KingRollo with you and...

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:03:45 PM EDT

[#16]

It would go something along this line.

He's a witch, burn him.

Toasted

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:04:44 PM EDT

[#17]

Byzantium find a way to prevent Manzikert and warn about keeping crusaders in your city.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:05:21 PM EDT

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:
Iceland.

Establish rapport with a crew going to Greenland. Convince Leif of the existence of Vinland. Create underground railroad to funnel believers of the old gods out of Norway and Iceland to Vinland to escape the forced conversion. Colonize. Establish trade with Dublin and Denmark. Goods from the new world and old world greed overcome religious pressures. Trade flourishes.

But more likely I'd get my throat slit for not speaking the language.

View Quote

I also like this too

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:05:37 PM EDT

[#19]

I'd prob. hurl myself off a large cliff to avoid a life of slavery.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:06:46 PM EDT

[#20]

Use my blood to create vaccines. Of course I'd have to go to the blacksmith and the glassblower and get them to make me lab equipment first...

I should read up on ethno-pharmacology in case I ever do get flung backwards in time. You know, like after the apocalypse.

Oh wait. I was never vaccinated for small pox. My wife, who was born 3 weeks after me, was. Hmm.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:07:05 PM EDT

[#21]

Rape, pillage, and rape.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:07:22 PM EDT

[#22]

Probably be like Gaingus Kahn where what like 40% of modern asians are related to him? I think I could beat that.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:07:24 PM EDT

[#23]

Show the local blacksmith how to make case hardened steel from mild steel and how to make crucible steel. Get rich making the best weapons without having to trade with the middle East.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:08:16 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
Rape, pillage, and rape.

View Quote

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:09:47 PM EDT

[#25]

Go to Paris and link up wth the ruling class. Become their puppet masters and have a pretty good time.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:09:47 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:

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Usually gets a "you said rape twice" response

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:10:56 PM EDT

[#27]

Lead the first, and last crusade and finish what we started. Id use my knowledge to create superior weaponry and tactics since I know theirs, and restore Jerusalem to Christianity and spend the rest of my life keeping it this way, and continuing to push the Saracens until their demise or conversion.

Deus Vult. There wouldn't be need for a second crusade.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:11:20 PM EDT

[#28]

Quote History

Quoted:
Rape, pillage, and rape.

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You said rape twice...

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:11:20 PM EDT

[#29]

Center of earth.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:11:57 PM EDT

[#30]

I would befriend the natives of Yosemite Valley and live there in peace for the rest of my life.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:12:00 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Show the local blacksmith how to make case hardened steel from mild steel and how to make crucible steel. Get rich making the best weapons without having to trade with the middle East.

View Quote

Yeesssss. This is cool. People would think you were some kind of steel
wizard. You would be famous.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:13:07 PM EDT

[#32]

Personal hygiene would be a big start.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:13:15 PM EDT

[#33]

Venice seems like it'd be open to new ideas and not as likely to burn you as a witch.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:13:39 PM EDT

[#34]

That money's only going to do you any good if you have a civilized place to spend it, so probably Byzantium. That's not enough money and I'm neither smart nor badass enough to change history, so I'd just try to live a basically comfortable life before cholera or something killed me.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:14:04 PM EDT

[#35]

I would get into mining some specific ores and chemicals

75% Potassium Nitrate
15% Charcoal
10% Sulfur

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:14:12 PM EDT

[#36]

Invent the razor and teach women to shave....

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:15:02 PM EDT

[#37]

Beat Al Gore to the punch. Fuck life without the internet.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:15:40 PM EDT

[#38]

Become a kick ass doctor with just a first-aid kit and my modern day knowledge of microbes.

...then get burned at the stake after being accused of witchcraft because my successful medical practice was directly contrary to popular opinion of the time and butthurt many arrogant know-it-all’s.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:16:36 PM EDT

[#39]

Live on the west side of the island of Great Britain pretending to be a mute that can read and write and do math until I learn to speak the language.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:18:28 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:
I would get into mining some specific ores and chemicals

75% Potassium Nitrate
15% Charcoal
10% Sulfur

https://2.wlimg.com/product_images/bc-full/dir_29/868839/potassium-nitrate-bold-kalam_p_1487477_271015.jpg

http://juicedorlando.com/images/ingredients/activated-charcoal.png

https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB15uorKVXXXXasXFXXq6xXFXXXG/lump-sulphur.jpg

View Quote

You're telling me i can mix bat poop, burnt wood, and brimstone together and blow things up? He's a witch

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:20:21 PM EDT

[#41]

invent banking, pretty much control Europe. Finance early expedition to Americas with armed forces. Become first Jarl of America.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:20:46 PM EDT

[#42]

Quote History

Quoted:
That money's only going to do you any good if you have a civilized place to spend it, so probably Byzantium. That's not enough money and I'm neither smart nor badass enough to change history, so I'd just try to live a basically comfortable life before cholera or something killed me.

View Quote

yeah, but at least you will know to drink only the bottled water.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:20:56 PM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
I would get into mining some specific ores and chemicals

75% Potassium Nitrate
15% Charcoal
10% Sulfur

https://2.wlimg.com/product_images/bc-full/dir_29/868839/potassium-nitrate-bold-kalam_p_1487477_271015.jpg

http://juicedorlando.com/images/ingredients/activated-charcoal.png

https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB15uorKVXXXXasXFXXq6xXFXXXG/lump-sulphur.jpg

View Quote

Gunpowder!

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:21:33 PM EDT

[#44]

Erect giant marble monuments scattered around Europe, prophesizing about the upcoming dangers of Marx, Lenin, Hitler, Soros, etc..., hopefully spawning a future holy war to eradicate leftists.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:22:10 PM EDT

[#45]

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:23:00 PM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81UYKXzSDoL.jpg">https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81UYKXzSDoL.jpg
</a>

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If you tell me this is good I will buy it today.

Posted: 1/5/2018 12:23:46 PM EDT

[#47]

If I tried to reveal my knowledge they would burn me as a witch.

With the impossibility of improving my life, I would off myself at the first opportunity.