Millennials gave birth to 'Generation Alpha.' Are these kids already doomed?

Born between roughly 2010 and the end of 2024, "Generation Alpha" is the demographic successor to Gen Z. Its oldest members are not quite ready for a quinceañera, while its youngest will be conceived in the coming weeks.

When the last of them arrive this December, they'll close the largest cohort of children ever to exist on Earth. There are already concerns that the kids aren't "alright." The overwhelming majority have yet to graduate elementary school, and 1 in 5 are still in diapers, yet they are widely being called "feral," illiterate" and "doomed" on YouTube and TikTok — where alphas themselves make up a large and growing share of users.

Blame bad parenting by millennials or tech companies or both — but many of those responsible for setting the discourse online agree we should be worried for them.

'I need to ask millennials — why are your kids so awful?'

Alphas are overwhelmingly the offspring of millennials (those born 1981-1996), who have famously been accused of destroying such beloved American establishments as the department store, the housing market and the institution of marriage.

Now, according to wide swaths of the internet, millennials are ruining childhood for the next generation.

"I need to ask millennials — why are your kids so awful, and more importantly, why do you think it's so funny?" TikToker Alanna Dinh said in a viral video in November.

When it comes to school-age alpha children, the concern has been focused on the much-maligned "iPad kid" — a child who cannot sit through a restaurant meal or a brief ride on public transit without mainlining YouTube from a tablet in a plastic case.

A whole generation of failure'

Illiteracy is among the most frequent and damning critiques leveled against Gen Alpha online. It is also empirically true of a demographic whose median age is 6½.

In California, children are expected to be able to read around December of first grade, meaning the majority of alphas should have been literate by New Year's Day.

Yet thousands are still struggling, making reading among the starkest reminders of a pandemic most teens and adults would prefer to move past.

Alphas "are some of the hardest-hit kids when it comes to reading," said Shervaughnna Anderson-Byrd, director of the California Reading and Literature Project. "Only 43% of our students are on grade level in California."

Today's average L.A. Unified fourth-grader spent half of kindergarten and the entirety of first grade at home, learning the foundations of reading on a Chromebook. By the time that same student returned to the classroom as a second-grader in August of 2021, they had effectively reached the end of formal phonics instruction.

"That's why we have so many third-graders whose scores look abysmal [on last year's state assessments]," Anderson-Byrd said. "We've set up a whole generation of failure for these kids."

Reading is essential for all academic work from late elementary school forward, she said. Yet, even English teachers aren't trained to teach phonics and other remedial skills beyond the early grades. That's left fourth-graders who were somewhat behind when the pandemic hit in 2020 still functionally illiterate in eighth grade.

"Teachers are complaining they have 14-year-olds who can't read," Anderson-Byrd said.

Most of the families in my Christian home school group are millenials.

We have 40ish families with 150+ kids.

I'd say they're far from doomed.

Doom. Generational dick measuring contest.  This thread has everything.

Be me.

Hardest working Millenial.

Wake up at 930.

Take Adderall, Xanax and 12 other medications prescribed by my therapist.

Pull up imgur and latest Steven Trollbert Quote.  Mild smile.  Scroll through 200 more images and get out of bed at 10:15.

Take SpongeBob pajamas off and put on skinny jeans and Avengers T-Shirt. My favorite is Black Panther.

Look in the mirror and my right arm which is covered in my favorite quotes and characters from my childhood.  My Star Wars quotes are starting to fade and I'll need to get them redone before too long.

Check credit cards and I have $25 left to spend which is just enough for a Starbucks and Avocado bagel.

Charliesheenwiining.jpg

Get into early 2000's Ford Fiesta with rear window covered in Superhero, Palestine and BIPOCLGTBTQIA+++ stickers and instantly back into my elderly neighbor.

She proceeds to berate me for not looking at where I'm going but SHE saw that I was in the car so it's her fault.

Roll down my window and yell OK BOOMER at the top of my lungs and drive off.

Get to Starbucks and have hots for the cashier.  She is also a millenial but she never shows up on Tinder so I have no way of getting to know her. It's my turn to order and remember what my therapist said to be confident and yell "EXTRA GRANDE AND AVOCADO BAGEL"

While store looks up at me and she takes my order and tells me my total is 24.95.

Tells me to enjoy my latte and toast and I go "You too"

titanicjackandrose.gif

Definitely had a connection and will look extra hard for her on tinder tonight.

12:30 and Im ready to start the day and get to my marketing job at Big Tech Marketing Co.

Have huge writers block because I can't think of 10 things that make linkedin a great social networking tool.

Take a break to smoke some pot to get my creative juices flowing and feel a lot better.

2:45 and I'm back in my seat ready to knock this list out but just 15 minutes later I've only added 2 items to my original 3.  get frustrated and decide to take a lunch break.

Crap my credit cards maxed out.

Steal Michelle's lunch and write an IOU.  

What the hell even is this.  It's bread with some kind of meat in the middle.

Take a bite and toss it out.

Call my mom and ask for some money for lunch but my dad catches her and says ABSOLUTELY NOT.

He's such an asshole. Tell him that I guess he wants me to starve to death and angrily hang up.

Feels.jpg.

Make it back to my desk and it's 4:00 and the days almost over.

Some boomer fuck walks in and days he has a big announcement.

Says that we haven't been able to push out enough articles and a new tool can write our articles for us.

Our office will be closed down and we will receive 6 months pay as severance.

Wow what an asshole.  Blame him for creating a toxic work environment and state that he will hear from my lawyer.

Get home crying see that my 6 months severance has been paid out already.

SpongbobIdea.gif

Book 6 month backing trip in Europe which eats up all my severance.

#I deserve this

Dad calls me and says he was sorry to hear I got fired.

Tell him it's okay and that they paid me 6 months severance which I will be using on a backpacking trip.

Hits the fuckin roof and tells me that I've maxed out my cards and that I still owe them 14,000.

Cannot (but can) believe his toxicity and tell him I don't need that in my life.

Hang up phone and start looking for Starbucks gal on Tinder.  Only a matter of time.

Another great day of the greatest Generation.

My kid seems to be normal so far.

One of our kids was born in 2011 and is solid conservative Christian so there will probably be a wide variation.

My kids are awesome and well behaved.

However they do not seem to be the norm.  

I'm in the millennial category by birth year not ideology and both of my boys are right now training Brazilian jiu jitsu and muai Thai.  The 13 year old is a decent shot with his AR with lpvo and both of em like working out and being outside.  I think they are going to be ok.

My kid is far and above me when I was his age.  Just like I was with my dad.  He is going to be a strong business man, and he is definitely more “squared away” than I was at his age.  


You are “DOOMED” not because of Gen Alpha, but because of the Book telling your demise.

Millennials are roughly 40 years old and were born in the 80s. They grew up in the 90s with a childhood very similar to Gen X, with the addition of the internet/technology boom. They also fought the longest war in American history with a 100% volunteer force.

Also, the majority of Gen Alpha currently in diapers belong to Gen Z parents not Millenials.

Millenials aren’t what GD thinks, but in for thread of generational bashing.

Yep. My toddler is a beast. Very polite, eats at the table with us, limited screen time, is intellectually ahead of her age, says please and thank you etc. I’m proud of this girl every day. She even folds her hands and prays with us

This is like the Sistine Chapel of satire. Bravo. Sincerely,  Gen X teacher who is tired of illiterate students.

7/10 on the copy pasta.

My daughter just turned 10 and is wayyyy better off than i was at that age.  Shes smarter, braver, and about a million times more socially capable than i was.  She gets good grades, plays sports, volunteers at a farm taking care of livestock, and participates in a bunch of afterschool clubs.  I dont force or pressure her into any of that either.

Weak men (and women) create hard times.

Buckle up.

got dayum millennials.

Yup.

Godless heathens raised by YouTube and TikTok? Yikes.
Families that pray, eat, and work together? We’ll be fine.

They are completely fucked.

No. They'll face new things and have their unique experiences in the world

My kid:

Attached File

They’ll be fine as long as they have master race Gen X grandparents looking over them.

Thank you for letting us know how liberals think.

GD BDS (boomer derangement syndrome) aka “renter” copy pasta of the year!

dont i care i got millions

its a pasta but hot dam if that isnt the truist shit ive read this year.

Not my kids. My toddlers both work full-time jobs in the trades. Hell, my two year is about to be on an oil rig in the gulf for a few months. Getting a kid to nap on the DuPont schedule is tough but they’ll make it.

#notallmillennials

From the OP it sounds like that is a California problem.
“ oh you’re 5 years old and you aren’t reading at high school level? How could millennials do this to their children?
Calm the hell down.

Yep.

I turn 40 this year. I’m a millennial. We are debt free.

My wife home schools our two boys and teaches at the church homeschool coop.

My 5 year old reads on a 5th grade level. My 3 year old reads at a kindergarten level.

They have more scripture memorized than most 50 year old church-goers.

Attached File

Attached File

Looking forward to being blamed for ruining the world even after we're all dead

Look at my damn millennial child.

With her damn avocado toast and her 1000$ cell phone.

And let me tell you about the lack of a firm handshake….. I’ll tell you wat.

Attached File

My two boys are fantastic.

Bro so the boomer one I wrote gets people riled up and I get explicitly told I'm being put on ignore.

This millenial one I wrote just gets laughed at with lots of "That's so true"

there it is.gif

@The_Master_Shake
@HRoark87
@Pajamacannon
@Papposilenus
@beito desstrafe

*takes long pull of Bulleit rye from banana flask*

fuckin' a, brother.

Oh, please.

How in the flying fuck does one blame millennials for the housing market and the decay of the department store.

Okay, can we just get over NOT MY KIDS and how everyone on GD is raising the top .0001% of the smartest kids in America? We all know GD parents are the best (they hate school and rules like don't drive a giant ass trailer through parking lots the wrong way TEACHErS ArE DuMB). Let's focus on normal kids for once.

Everyone of my sister in laws is a teacher.

Its... a.... going to be interesting in a few years.

Ha... that was sadly beautiful of a pasta

got dayum zoomas.

Attached File


My son is ready to captain his own destroyer. He loves tanks and airplanes. I bet it won’t take long before he’s on Arfcom complaining about the future generations.

Attached File

Lol tarded article for clickage.

My little Alpha is basically hardwired into tech. Can't read? Wtf is this bullshit.

Q: How are they navigating the internet if they're completely illiterate?

A: They're not illiterate.

Participation trophies have meaning….

Just not in real life.

So, burn it all….

Lol awesome. My 10 yo routinely "ok boomer"s me. She'd fit in fine here too. Insults and sarcasm are deeply embedded in her genetic makeup.