No, it's ok, I'm not throwing you out.   I sold your organs to some Chinese guys; They'll be here in an hour.  I'm supposed to keep you from leaving... I get my money after they have you in the van.

Send every high school band kid over there next time there's a fundraiser.

My wife was telling me just this morning that she had seen this exact same advice on some website she goes to.

Come back and let us know how you feel about it when you are away on a vacation or a business trip, and some bums move into your house and it takes you 6 months and thousands of dollars to evict them and fix the damage to the house. This happened to a widow I know in a nice neigborhood  a few blocks over. This kind of shit was unheard of in this country thru much of my life in the 60s 70s and 80s until liberals like YOU with your insane mindset changed a once great nation that worked well on logic for 2 centuries made it the dysfunctional mess that it is today. The USA is now a place where indigents and criminals are coddled and the decent working citizen is victimized.

Yeah, what County?

Just film it and move everything into storage for one month.  Give them the keys/access to retrieve their sh*t.

Just pee on the squatters to assert dominance

My wife practices landlord/tenant law in NYS. Talk about hell on Earth. The sheriff's hands are tied. They help as they can, but liberal legislators, a commie governor and activist justices bend landlords over.

I’d love to learn about where leases are recorded.

Did you miss the part where I called squatters nasty pieces of shit?

Okay then.  

Yeah if there WAS a lease agreement, they are tenants and not squatters. Whole different ballgame, even if they aren't paying rent.

The question is what county in Illinois? If it is Crook, expect six shot Dart and Kim Foxx to go after him.

So many BS rules and renter rights to deal with, state by state and county by county.

There are professional companies that do this, all within the law and seem to be successful. If you make a stupid mistake = you will be arrested and spend some time in jail.

Why did they start with the sheriffs office?

Clownworld is wild sometimes

Tag for updates on shenanigans.

Tagged for outcome

You cant use that guys example of a squatter eviction as an example of what to expect. THAT GUY WAS LUCKY! He was able to get into the house while the single woman was out working. She also worked for dept of corrections and didnt want to lose her job by starting a ruckus. Don't try that when the house has a bunch of male squatters, and one or more are always in the house. Many of these people are drifters with nothing to lose.

This.  

As a yoot, I rented a house with some knucklehead buddies. The landlord said it came with all the appliances. About 2 weeks in a dude shows up and says all the appliances belong to him. I felt sorry for him. Our lease specified that the appliances had to be there when we left. The landlord said the appliances were purchased by the dude, but it was taken off of his rent. Someone was lying.

Who cares if they call police? It is a civil matter, remember?
(so long as they don’t have some type of mail being delivered there or a rental agreement or something like that.)

You know all a Notary does is verify the identity of the signer?
My friend could deed me he moon and all the Notary cares about is my ID when signing .

I bet if the idiot buddy tenant moved in a 20' reticulated python and let it free-roam, the squatters would self-evict.

That is unfortunate, but that doesn't give them the right to appropriate other people's property any more than their need for cash makes it OK for them to rob a liquor store.

I've got to wonder what your experience with this is.

I have gone through the court system for issues with bad people.

Dude stole $40,000 worth of my NFA firearms. ATF did nothing. Local police took a report, punted case to ATF, who again, did nothing. I sued the bad guy. I paid a bunch of money to file, serve, get an attorney, etc. Easily got a judgement against broke bad guy. Haven't been able to collect a dime or get my property back.

Courts do not protect your interests. Maybe it means you get a fishing license to try to collect from a deadbeat. Similarly, I assume if you were to get a judgement against a squatter that has no money to pay you, has damaged your house, etc., you're not going to be getting a nice cashier's check from their large, liquid bank account.

Forcing the issue to go through courts means I'm now literally out more money than what I originally had stolen.

Annoying!

I saw that video on youtube a few days ago. Some trashy woman jail guard moved into an abandoned house, and the son of the owner did that exact thing.

in a word "libtards"

This must be a good one - third time it's been posted (thus far) in the thread, second on this page.

Don't forget to post the "free stuff" Ad on Facebook and Craigslist using brand new throw away accounts created at some public wifi somewhere.  That way you'll have lots of other people showing up taking stuff for the squatters to contend with and you don't have to haul away as much junk.

Not without paper, he won't. He'd be stupid to, IMO.

Mmmhm.

ETA: on second thought, if they trash it he will get an insurance check to do some fresh reno at today's inflated prices and they will go away...win/win.

 About 35: years ago some squatters, 3 guys and a woman where in one of my aunt's rent houses . She  got the same shit from HPD, civil not criminal.  Me and my brother and our 4 cousins show up at the house at 3 am, kick in the front door and rush the place.  One guy tried to fight and he got his ass BEAT.  So the others might as well get some too.

We threw all of thier shit out in the street and them too  We left before any cops could show up. We told them if we had to come back  and they were still there, we would give them a boat ride on the Brazos river.  They left and never came back.

The ones who run the risk of getting smoked.

This is the way

If I ever have that problem, you all will not know about it.

Typically, it's done at the county recorder's office.

Even if the squatters with no assets destroys the house in the years it can take to legally evict them?

This is how you handle squatters.

Real Men of Genius award here.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT - I GREW UP IN DETROIT A FEW BLOCKS FROM THAT HOUSE !!!!![/sub]

THAT AUTO PARTS store behind the reporters used to be Laura Hall and is where I had my baptism party in 1966.

The store next to it was BOMBED in the mid-80s.

When we were 5 years old we used to WALK to school, it was a super clean and safe Polish neighborhood.

You couldn't GIVE me a house there now.  6751 Artesian

If I owned a rental house and people were squatting there, they'd come home to find all of their shit in the yard...probably burning. Or, maybe just disappeared. I have enough friends with enough trucks that we could probably clear out some squatters' shit in a VERY short time.

You want to squat in a house that I own and not pay me? FUCK YOU! I'll burn every fucking thing you own and not give one single fuck about it. Illegal? Don't give a fuck! Stay the fuck out of other people's houses when you have no right to be there. I have NO sympathy for people that do that shit. FUCK THEM! FUCK THEIR KIDS! FUCK THEIR PETS! FUCK THEIR FAMILY! FUCK THEIR FRIENDS! FUCK THEIR LIFE! I'll go straight to the nuclear option on that one.

Parody thread. Oh boy!

Attached File

I've told this story on here before.

Back in the mid/late 2000's in Florida, something like every 1 in 3 houses was vacant for one reason or another. The backlogs for evicting people from a house they were foreclosed on was 1.5+ years in most places. You can guess what the level of give a shit was in regards to squatters.

So, allegedly, this happened. In Minecraft. In the greater Tampa area. Allegedly.

Friend's family had a pretty damn nice rental that had the last tenant move out of. They cleaned it, redid some stuff and put it back up for rent. A few weeks after they were done doing whatever they were doing to the house, they started having people call and look at the rental. At some point the mom goes to check on the house and she can't get the front door open. Goes around to the back, same thing. Notices the locks look different. Looks into the windows and notices theres stuff inside like sleeping bags, random boxes, etc.

Friend and 2-3 guys head over later that day. As they're walking around, this car drives up into the driveway and this fat Mexican chick gets out and gets an attitude about what they are doing because this is her house. Surprise, she had come and looked at the rental once. Friend is like oh really, tell me more. Chick actually bluffs with threatening to call the police. LOL

Friend basically tells her they have until tonight to GTFO because its his place and this won't end well. Chick literally says something along the lines of how she knows the law, this is her place and she knows how to game the system.

2 nights later, much recon is done, allegedly. In Minecraft.

It was noted that squatters had changed the locks, but that the garage door opener was the same (they were manually open/closing it via the keypad next to the garage but didn't have the fob) as well as the key code number lock thing on the door from the garage into the house was unchanged.

So then, it was planned, in Minecraft, allegedly, that a few of us with multiple deployments and doing EXACTLY this kind of maneuver, would, allegedly, roll up with a large truck backwards in the driveway, open the garage door, access the house via the garage entry door and surprise the ever living shit out of the 3 occupants while taking 'appropriate precautions' to ensure they didn't try anything stupid.

Allegedly, while 2 people hung out with squatters, another 2 people were grabbing all of their shit and throwing it into the back of the truck, while another 2 were changing locks. In Minecraft. Pictures of drivers licenses and ID's may or may not have been taken. Squatters may or may not have been tossed outside to get into their 1 car that now had no license plate on it. Squatter's stuff may or may not have been thrown onto a burn pit and lit on fire.

Allegedly.

Charlie is awesome!

Foot in ass should be an option