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And again, you lead off with calling me a child's name. Are you incapable of having a discussion without resorting to insults? Why u mad tho? Whats that bullshit line pretending to be advice that the privilege-trolls post? "Sorry you picked wrong (and didn't know she was going to be horrible, before she acted horribly)." |
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I was hoping she would post updates about it. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes |
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I'll have to leave you guessing on that one. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes |
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A buddy was marrying a single mother, another buddy gave her the dented can speech. He said you're lucky to have found him because you're a dented can. She said what? He said, "you know, you see the dented can in the grocery store, the contents are likely just as fine as the cans around it but it's dented. Nobody takes the dented can off the shelf, they take all the cans around it, appreciate what you have here." View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Lol. Single parent with a kid here. We’re basically kryptonite in the dating world. I’ve accepted it. She needs to, as well. He said you're lucky to have found him because you're a dented can. She said what? He said, "you know, you see the dented can in the grocery store, the contents are likely just as fine as the cans around it but it's dented. Nobody takes the dented can off the shelf, they take all the cans around it, appreciate what you have here." |
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Lol. Single parent with a kid here. We’re basically kryptonite in the dating world. I’ve accepted it. She needs to, as well. He said you're lucky to have found him because you're a dented can. She said what? He said, "you know, you see the dented can in the grocery store, the contents are likely just as fine as the cans around it but it's dented. Nobody takes the dented can off the shelf, they take all the cans around it, appreciate what you have here." They still married? |
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Yeah, this was the only thing that would make me leave a date early back then. 23-25 with kids and single? What happened here? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Maybe the men who have those qualities don't wanna deal with your fuck trophies? Along the way you can have good time with childless gems After a while of serial dating you can predict which way things will go, age groups, children, careers It’s rigged in your favor especially the stereotypes |
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This. I went on a date with a woman about my height (about 6'). She rejected me for being "too" short, despite complaining that there were very few guys who were both tall and dateable. That's a clue. King of Manlets! ETA: I hadn't lied about my height before meeting in person either. She knew I wasn't "tall". View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: My point for this is that in THIS thread there are a lot of posts of how unrealistic her expectations are and how she wants the perfect man or some super special dude. The fact that ticking off half the boxes on that list makes a man (according to the ones here) *super special* is what's clearing things up for me regarding this oft-lamented aspect of *women nowadays* who won't settle. Subnets a supercool dude. But he is disqualified physically because of her minimum height standard and fitness standards. He thinks he checks half her boxes. As a single guy who plays this game for real, that’s not how it works. He checks no boxes because he is disqualified for height and fitness. Personally, the tallest woman I ever dated was 5'7". I'm 5'8". We met online and she liked my profile and knew how tall I was beforehand. Some will care, some won't. Its like guys who demand a woman have 34DD boobs. Its an arbitrary thing you can't fix or change and just as silly of a requirement. I went on a date with a woman about my height (about 6'). She rejected me for being "too" short, despite complaining that there were very few guys who were both tall and dateable. That's a clue. King of Manlets! ETA: I hadn't lied about my height before meeting in person either. She knew I wasn't "tall". |
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Quoted: I think this is a critical aspect of what women have come to "expect". Think of it like a night club. To get in the door (IE a date), you have to get past the bouncer. View Quote |
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Yep. its a minimum performance standard. if a woman has a list of one 100 requirements for a man and height is one of them, expect 99 to be negotiable. Height is the one thats a go/no go gauge in most cases. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted: I think this is a critical aspect of what women have come to "expect". Think of it like a night club. To get in the door (IE a date), you have to get past the bouncer. Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It’s why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo |
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Height and age requirements are only in the USA Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It’s why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: I think this is a critical aspect of what women have come to "expect". Think of it like a night club. To get in the door (IE a date), you have to get past the bouncer. Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It’s why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo |
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Do you think thats a function of the local economy? When i lived in Georgia families were practically offering their daughters to Marines from MCLB Albany. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: I think this is a critical aspect of what women have come to "expect". Think of it like a night club. To get in the door (IE a date), you have to get past the bouncer. Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It’s why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo One girl I dated was about 6 foot Girls here love their heels too They all answer my age and my height mean nothing to them Of course it’s resources |
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Do you think thats a function of the local economy? When i lived in Georgia families were practically offering their daughters to Marines from MCLB Albany. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Quoted: I think this is a critical aspect of what women have come to "expect". Think of it like a night club. To get in the door (IE a date), you have to get past the bouncer. Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It’s why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo |
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Yeah, as soon as I saw the hyphenated last name, I saw the problem.
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Quoted: Height and age requirements are only in the USA Here in Brazil and when in DR you see plenty of smaller guys with tall women and you see plenty of older guys with women Resources count more than age and height It's why so many women here start panicking at 30 yo Women in Latin America start panicking at 19 yo View Quote |
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She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture.
I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. |
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She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Honestly I don't think the list is that outlandish. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. |
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Quoted: She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. View Quote Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? Attached File |
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Yes - she wants an "old school guy." Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/417478/image-610698.JPG View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted: She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/417478/image-610698.JPG Unless the guy is a sucker or as fucked up as her, no one is getting married Guys will bang her, she will enjoy it, she will possibly fall for a couple of guys, but they will dump her the minute she starts to wonder where the relationship is going A guy who is good with women will string her along until she starts demanding or wants to “talk” |
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Yes - she wants an "old school guy." Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/417478/image-610698.JPG View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted: She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/417478/image-610698.JPG |
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You know, at least she has standards, unlike this gutter slut.
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it.....
1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated - does anyone really want to date an idiot who isn't able to hold a conversation? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. - dI'll give the haters this one, seems extreme but there are lots of woman who dont like short men 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. - Not surprising, she doesnt want to date immature guys or those who havent experienced life like she has, I dont think this is that outlandish 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. - I would think this is obvious why someone would have this requirement 5. Lives near me. I would think this is obvious why someone would have this requirement 6. Likes music, but not bad music.If something means a lot to you you want the other person to enjoy it also. I get this. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. To me this is a given, she is saying she doesn't want a lazy person who doesn't mind working hard, she wants a driven guy. I sure wouldn't want to be around someone who is miserable at their job and only working for a paycheck. I want to be around someone who works hard. People just working for a paycheck are miserable to be around. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. Who wouldnt want to be cooked for? She also doesnt want some slob who will only eat mac n cheese and chicken nuggets. 9. Respects and encourages my career. You are no man if you dont do this for the one you love. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. Most people with kids wont date someone who hates kids. I sure wouldnt. 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). Who wants to be around someone boring with no sense of humour. 12. Hot (duh). I guarantee if you fit the other attributes you will be hot to her 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. She doesnt want a fat slob, who does? 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. She wants someone who isnt an idiot and can talk about more then "meh football and baseball". Not surprised. 15. Looks good in a suit. Isnt a fat slob and knows how to dress 16. Looks good out of a suit. Isnt a fat slob and knows how to dress 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Isnt a fat slob and knows how to dress 18. Believes in chivalry. What man shouldn't? You know, open doors and pay the bill? View Quote |
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... |
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Quoted: She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. Problem is: she's also demanding he be a modern feminist male, while also being an "old school guy." Plus, old school guy has to be single, and has to reject younger, childless women to be with single mom with two baby daddies as baggage (not to mention 2 kids). And he must be tall. Way above average height for males in her country. And he has to like flat-chested, complainy, feminist-activists with no "back" (notice she has no behind?), who are probably in mediocre to poor physical shape, judging by her photos. And she really cannot figure out why men are not lining up to serve her demands?? Really??? https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/417478/image-610698.JPG |
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Quoted: How did you get that from her list? View Quote "I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II?" Hmm - she's a "good person," but a man needs to be "Prince Charming" to meet her demands?? Or: "To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s." Wow - that comes across as amazingly selfish and self-absorbed, even if she did not mean it that way. And we know she's a feminist activist (see photo above). Now flip what she said to a man saying it: "To be honest, as a man, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s." I can just imagine the screeching. But her demands for a feminist male come particularly from the obnoxious activist tee shirts she wears in the photos she makes public. What about the man's view? Do you think she would tolerate a gun owner, a conservative, or anyone who didn't agree completely with her femisist agenda of "fighting the patriarchy?" |
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. |
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Truly a hilarious image And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. TLDR: She's put together a pretty rare list of traits (an alpha feminist, who apologizes for stuff he's never done to women he's never met... but he's a take charge risk-taking alpha male.... He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. |
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I am going to tell you, that is one crazy woman. I am sure everyone realilzed it, but i wanted to make sure.
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She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Honestly I don't think the list is that outlandish. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. and she is wanting a guy that is quite a bit above her value in the marketplace. and it is basically the physical standards. There are VERY FEW cultured professional six figure earners that have abs, are over six feet and nice have faces. Those few guys have such a high value that they have their choices of any women in the dating marketplace. There is no reason for them to look at her except for a drunk fuck one night. |
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Her writing is littered with clues. For example: "I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II?" Hmm - she's a "good person," but a man needs to be "Prince Charming" to meet her demands?? Or: "To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn't going to be time to look after anyone else's." Wow - that comes across as amazingly selfish and self-absorbed, even if she did not mean it that way. And we know she's a feminist activist (see photo above). Now flip what she said to a man saying it: "To be honest, as a man, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn't going to be time to look after anyone else's." I can just imagine the screeching. But her demands for a feminist male come particularly from the obnoxious activist tee shirts she wears in the photos she makes public. What about the man's view? Do you think she would tolerate a gun owner, a conservative, or anyone who didn't agree completely with her femisist agenda of "fighting the patriarchy?" View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
Quoted: How did you get that from her list? "I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II?" Hmm - she's a "good person," but a man needs to be "Prince Charming" to meet her demands?? Or: "To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn't going to be time to look after anyone else's." Wow - that comes across as amazingly selfish and self-absorbed, even if she did not mean it that way. And we know she's a feminist activist (see photo above). Now flip what she said to a man saying it: "To be honest, as a man, I had my own ego to take care of and there really wasn't going to be time to look after anyone else's." I can just imagine the screeching. But her demands for a feminist male come particularly from the obnoxious activist tee shirts she wears in the photos she makes public. What about the man's view? Do you think she would tolerate a gun owner, a conservative, or anyone who didn't agree completely with her femisist agenda of "fighting the patriarchy?" Date people that are a bit outside your perfection ideal. Chemistry is weird, you never know what will happen. I never in a million years would have thought I would have married into a Muslim family. But I did. |
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. 1) 1st she appears to assume that she can command top dollar on the dating market, this is wrong. There is not only nothing outstanding about her, she has several problems. Looks meh, argumentative, not a giving partner, fake celebrity in her own mind, and divorced with 2 kids. 2) She assumes that there is a significant amount of men who fit her criteria to begin with, this is wrong. 2a) She assumes she has the tools to rope one, assuming such a man can be roped at all during the "alll the free pussy he can get" phase. 3) She is SURE her perfect man exists exactly as she has imagined him. A pussy male feminist who doesn't have any self respect or his own wants in a relationship, who will do everything she wants, and additionally be Chad. 4) She will not only get him into a relationship, but he will be happy in that relationship and stay, and marry her. Again requiring she do nothing but tell a few jokes here and there that her friends sorta laugh at. If she lowered her asks to a price she can pay? She could probably get a tall-ish butter faced man with a soft body, who is a bit too Beta and that's why women have passed on him, who is somewhat financially secure, who has very little self respect and as subservient like she wants, and thinks her book is something, maaaaybe she can land a guy like that. Whether or not she will be happy with this guy is another question, but she will be probably capable of roping a dumb sapp like this. The older she gets the less options she will have. She will go from a 4.5 to a 3.5 as she ages, with a bad attitude etc. ETA: At least from what I've seen, the older women, or the single moms who end up dating again and are successful? They're usually attractive, they're fun to be around, they have their shit together, they aren't trying to dream up new expectations every week either. The poorly put together older women who succeed, are normally very atypically attractive for their age, and wait a looong time (like 15 years) for a sucker. |
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To unpack just how upside down this all is, you have to think about the premises that she has, she knows so fucking little about this that it's obvious on its face. 1) 1st she appears to assume that she can command top dollar on the dating market, this is wrong. There is not only nothing outstanding about her, she has several problems. Looks meh, argumentative, not a giving partner, fake celebrity in her own mind, and divorced with 2 kids. 2) She assumes that there is a significant amount of men who fit her criteria to begin with, this is wrong. 2a) She assumes she has the tools to rope one, assuming such a man can be roped at all during the "alll the free pussy he can get" phase. 3) She is SURE her perfect man exists exactly as she has imagined him. A pussy male feminist who doesn't have any self respect or his own wants in a relationship, who will do everything she wants, and additionally be Chad. 4) She will not only get him into a relationship, but he will be happy in that relationship and stay, and marry her. Again requiring she do nothing but tell a few jokes here and there that her friends sorta laugh at. If she lowered her asks to a price she can pay? She could probably get a tall-ish butter faced man with a soft body, who is a bit too Beta and that's why women have passed on him, who is somewhat financially secure, who has very little self respect and as subservient like she wants, and thinks her book is something, maaaaybe she can land a guy like that. Whether or not she will be happy with this guy is another question, but she will be probably capable of roping a dumb sapp like this. The older she gets the less options she will have. She will go from a 4.5 to a 3.5 as she ages, with a bad attitude etc. . View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. 1) 1st she appears to assume that she can command top dollar on the dating market, this is wrong. There is not only nothing outstanding about her, she has several problems. Looks meh, argumentative, not a giving partner, fake celebrity in her own mind, and divorced with 2 kids. 2) She assumes that there is a significant amount of men who fit her criteria to begin with, this is wrong. 2a) She assumes she has the tools to rope one, assuming such a man can be roped at all during the "alll the free pussy he can get" phase. 3) She is SURE her perfect man exists exactly as she has imagined him. A pussy male feminist who doesn't have any self respect or his own wants in a relationship, who will do everything she wants, and additionally be Chad. 4) She will not only get him into a relationship, but he will be happy in that relationship and stay, and marry her. Again requiring she do nothing but tell a few jokes here and there that her friends sorta laugh at. If she lowered her asks to a price she can pay? She could probably get a tall-ish butter faced man with a soft body, who is a bit too Beta and that's why women have passed on him, who is somewhat financially secure, who has very little self respect and as subservient like she wants, and thinks her book is something, maaaaybe she can land a guy like that. Whether or not she will be happy with this guy is another question, but she will be probably capable of roping a dumb sapp like this. The older she gets the less options she will have. She will go from a 4.5 to a 3.5 as she ages, with a bad attitude etc. . |
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I can see why so many men have problems finding woman or staying married.
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Quoted: Their is a possibility I am exaggerateing things that aggravate me for comedic effect. Plus are you implying my attitude is not totally normal? View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Their is a possibility I am exaggerateing things that aggravate me for comedic effect. Plus are you implying my attitude is not totally normal? Quoted: Their is a possibility I am exaggerateing things that aggravate me for comedic effect. Plus are you implying my attitude is not totally normal? CMOS |
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Quoted: She's basically asking for an old school guy that isn't an ass and knows how to dress properly. A man who can appreciate good food and culture. I don't see much wrong with her list. Its how my vision of a man should be to be honest. I could go line for line and explain exactly why a man should be each of those points. View Quote The issue is that the men that do possess said qualities have so many options for female companionship that a divorced single mom isn't even worth their time as a slump buster. A paused game, a dented can, a wrecked car. Whatever the metaphor, her value to those high quality men is gone. Or to put it another way: old school guys want old school girls. Divorced single mom =/= old school girl. |
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Truly a hilarious image And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. TLDR: She's put together a pretty rare list of traits (an alpha feminist, who apologizes for stuff he's never done to women he's never met... but he's a take charge risk-taking alpha male.... He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. And I also wanted to point out this is NOT just a libtard/Democrat/Feminist thing. This is women in general today. While the source is "feminism" which we know has it's roots in the Soviet infiltration of our nation in the late 60s and the 70s, it has become nearly universally accepted reality in the US. |
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I just wanted to give some kudos to Voodoo3fx for his posted quoted here (like the third quote lol). And I also wanted to point out this is NOT just a libtard/Democrat/Feminist thing. This is women in general today. While the source is "feminism" which we know has it's roots in the Soviet infiltration of our nation in the late 60s and the 70s, it has become nearly universally accepted reality in the US. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
Quoted:
Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. And I also wanted to point out this is NOT just a libtard/Democrat/Feminist thing. This is women in general today. While the source is "feminism" which we know has it's roots in the Soviet infiltration of our nation in the late 60s and the 70s, it has become nearly universally accepted reality in the US. I used Voodoo's original post, then added the comments. It's a cultural destruction coming from the left, and it's sad. By destroying values, they destroy what is up and what is down. Now often times the shitty women think they aren't (they get blogging jobs and they write up lists), and the good women think there's something wrong with them |
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How is any of this bad? Unless you don't fit it..... And a copy-pasta of my post from many pages ago, as now it's relevant to the topic at hand. Quoted:
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Alice Judge-Talbot married her university sweetheart at 23 and had two children, before their happily-ever after crumbled and she found herself a divorced single mother on the dating scene.
Here, she shares an exclusive extract from her new book 'The Back-Up Plan'... As a married person, I always enjoyed meeting new people and discovering new things, so I reckoned my dating life should be no different. I expected glittering conversation over bottles of wine, It sounds like, when she got divorced, she expected a "Grass is always greener" reality. interesting individuals who would change my perspective on life and love, She is owed fun, and adventure. and I figured that as an approaching-30 mum of two with only two evenings off a fortnight my spare time was precious: I didn’t want to spend it with men who didn’t fit my idea of perfection – or, at least, who didn’t get close to it. Her expectations are high. i'm willing to bet her expectations have always been high. Taken out of context this sentence is fine, but with the context added back in, she's a perfectionist. This is one of the problems. "Well I have these limits, so the world will deal with it and give me what I want." No. So focused was I in my quest for the perfect man that I decided to draw up a list of things I wanted in one. She was on a "quest". She was "driven". Was her thinking work including what she offered to a partner? How she was going to charm one? Nope. Putting all her work into: "setting expectations very high". My thought was that, if they didn’t tick off at least half of the things on my list, then they probably weren’t going to be the one for me. Again no talk of how she was going to get this man. Just talk about how perfect he needed to be. I mean, if methodical, precise and ambitious worked for me at work, why wouldn’t it apply to my love life, too? here we go. "muh career". I'm sure she's curing cancer. Thinking hard, I drew up 18 points... The strange world of post-divorce dating as a lonely single mother "Oh well, sorry you picked wrong." Alice dated everyone from CEOs to comedians CEOs went first. This is not an accident. 1. Intelligent, or at least well-educated. There we go, in the name of equality and current year, "socio-economic status", right at the top of the list. Liking a smart guy, hey I think that's great. "or at least well educated". So he can be a dope but have a degree..? 2. Tall, preferably taller than 6 foot. IIRC average height of a man, depending on what "Data" you see is 5'8" to 5'10". If you use 5'9", 6ft isn't THAT common. I think like 20% of the population of men falls into that. Now add in the job prestige/degrees (don't be a 6ft tall construction worker) and that % shrinks. 3. Older than me, probably between the ages of 32 and 40. She dated a 25 year old, so you might as well throw this one out the window 4. Doesn’t live at home with his parents. 5. Lives near me. 6. Likes music, but not bad music. She is high in disgust sensitivity. Having different tastes in music is grounds for being fired? I'm thinking she initiated the divorce, and dragged this guy emotionally for the duration of the marriage. 7. Has a challenging career that he loves and is passionate about. 8. Likes fancy food and to be cooked for. And cheeseburgers. 9. Respects and encourages my career. 10. Likes children, maybe has some – but doesn’t advertise them to the weirdos stalking their profile. ....? 11. Has a great sense of humour (by which I mean ‘laughs at my jokes’). There we go, she's the center of the universe again. 12. Hot (duh). "I dated a 25 year old, ohh I know i know" Wow I wonder why? 13. Plays some sort of sport or at least goes to the gym. 14. Is fairly cultured, or at least likes to pretend to be. 15. Looks good in a suit. 16. Looks good out of a suit. 17. Understands the value of a nice pair of shoes. Tall, fit, handsome, smart, doesn't challenge me on anything, meets my expectations - he's kind of a modern man 18. Believes in chivalry. Modern old-fashioned man. And so I set about my dating game. I went out with investment bankers, entrepreneurs, CEOs, Right at the front of the list again. "See I dated high status men, ugh, and wouldn't you know it, none of them were good enough!!" 25-year-olds (I KNOW), journalists, comedians, marketing executives, academics . . . you name them, I’ve dated them (probably). I sat through endless hours of strangers regaling me with stories of their ‘colourful’ lives (I’ll be the judge of that, pal). First, I doubt she did the work when dating aside from working on her expectations. They offered, she said yes. She had the great task of going with them on dates they brought her on. (Oh the horror). They were not meeting her expectations, so she says. Yet she lists allll these "impressive" job titles? Sounds like job title was more important than inter-personal compatibility to her. What jerks they are, dating a single mom of 2 that's a 4.5/10 and has a post baby body! Don't they know she finds their lives boring?! Dumb rubes. I drank red wine in at least four different counties and in front of 16 different open fires, and the only reason I didn’t start a blog about all these awful dates was because my mum told me it would have been mean. All these dates she was forced to be on. I'm sure if she wrote one up and men recognized her, they would jump at the chance to be torn apart on the internet if she didn't like the date. On top of her being a single mom of 2, a 4.5/10, with high expectations and a bad attitude. It’s amazing how sterile and calculated the process started to feel. I’d meet someone and immediately assess them for the points I was looking for. If they didn’t fit? Game over. And did she fix this? Right it's a problem, it's mechanical, she's picking people based on job title and not the human qualities, and there were no sparks. And it's allll their fault. She did what to fix this? In her infinite wisdom, did she re-think her list, or her tactics? Men were desperate to settle down with a woman who’d cook for them and massage their egos. Lonely as I was, I just wasn’t up for that "men are desperate" "I was lonely". Projection. Next, this is a look into her value system. She's a "modern" woman who doesn't want to do what she perceives to be, the "traditional" wife stuff. And this includes being nice to her man "massage their egos". She was in such a rush to tear people down, the moment the guys got a whiff of this, they bolted. They were done. If the choice is her, or some other single mom that's fun to be around, kind, isn't blabbing on about needing to be impressed? She is going to lose. I suspect many of the men who "met her minimums" had no interest in her. In the course of my dating I met many 30 and 40-somethings who were just desperate to settle down with a woman who’d happily cook for them and massage their egos for the rest of their lives and, I have to tell you, as lonely as I was I just wasn’t quite down for that. "I didn't want to put work into the relationship, I wanted the prestige of a CEO husband with certain degrees who excited me physically". To be honest, I had my own ego to take care of Finally some self awareness, from the 4.5/10 woman. and there really wasn’t going to be time to look after anyone else’s. Bingo. she doesn't have room in her life for a someone else. For the happily married people on this site, you couldn't image talking about your spouse like this. She's throwing this around like it's normal. This is a looking glass into how fucked up she is. I started to understand my single girlfriends’ wails when they’d come to me complaining about how they couldn’t find a boyfriend. Granted, the dates seemed to be easy to come by, it was just the quality of them that was a bit dubious. Damn, sounds like hard work saying yes to dates alll the time. Really, I just wanted to meet someone with whom I’d share a bit of chemistry and perhaps some interests and hobbies. "all I want is this man who meets an 18point fantasy check list and requires me doing nothing different, changing, or being more available emotionally, is that so hard to ask??" When I first became single I hadn’t thought that was a huge ask but, as I got deeper into my experiences of dating, I started to feel more and more envious of the 18-year-old me who’d met her perfect match in the most innocent of ways. There we are. Grass is always greener again. And now she's looking back at what she had. Met a guy at 18, At 23 she's married, 2 kids, then divorced at 29. I'm wondering if she called the shots on all of the above. Wanted the marriage early, hubby did it to make her happy. Kids early, hubby did it to make her happy. Divorce the doormat because he's a doormat now, hubby crushed not knowing what he did wrong. No idea if that's what happened, but miss expectations who never thinks about what she gives to the other person (or at least never expresses it), I think there's reason to suspect it did go down like that. I understood that I was an adult now, a mother, and had different thresholds and expectations when it came to the opposite sex, but why was this finding-a-man thing so freaking hard? She "will only date" a man that's .001% of the population. she's 29 going on 37, she's got an "eh" face and a "eh" body. She has 2 kids already and is divorced. She's mean, unflexible, comes with baggage, lack of self-awareness, and chasing men with options telling them how it's going to be. She's prone to making herself unhappy when left alone, and is ensuring she's repeating the kind of thinking that got her here. I was a good person: where was my Prince Charming, Mark II? Prince charming has dating options. What does she offer him? "Muh career and I'm funny sometimes". And if he's not interested in that? She expects 18 things and offers 2? He's an exciting sexyman with a great job and a nice body, but he's going to pick up a butterfaced 5 with 2 kids who doesn't offer him anything other than a shit attitude and no cooking? He's going to settle on that? After years of free pussy being thrown at him in that City, he's going to wife up that. Okay.), and has put precisely zero work into "How will I get, attract, make happy and keep happy such a mate?" Zero. 1) 1st she appears to assume that she can command top dollar on the dating market, this is wrong. There is not only nothing outstanding about her, she has several problems. Looks meh, argumentative, not a giving partner, fake celebrity in her own mind, and divorced with 2 kids. 2) She assumes that there is a significant amount of men who fit her criteria to begin with, this is wrong. 2a) She assumes she has the tools to rope one, assuming such a man can be roped at all during the "alll the free pussy he can get" phase. 3) She is SURE her perfect man exists exactly as she has imagined him. A pussy male feminist who doesn't have any self respect or his own wants in a relationship, who will do everything she wants, and additionally be Chad. 4) She will not only get him into a relationship, but he will be happy in that relationship and stay, and marry her. Again requiring she do nothing but tell a few jokes here and there that her friends sorta laugh at. If she lowered her asks to a price she can pay? She could probably get a tall-ish butter faced man with a soft body, who is a bit too Beta and that's why women have passed on him, who is somewhat financially secure, who has very little self respect and as subservient like she wants, and thinks her book is something, maaaaybe she can land a guy like that. Whether or not she will be happy with this guy is another question, but she will be probably capable of roping a dumb sapp like this. The older she gets the less options she will have. She will go from a 4.5 to a 3.5 as she ages, with a bad attitude etc. . 1) Humble-pie, as much as she can handle. She needs to re-work the attitude. I'm thinking guys avoid her and other women won't get in her face. She's probably the meanest person of her social circle, no one tells her the truth. 2) Work on her look 3) Open up her "minimums" to include men she can get 4) Think for a long time about how to get and keep a partner She could dramatically turn around her luck. |
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I agree with your numbers. But looking at her photo (I know, I know, I actually glanced at the article!) she's not unattractive. Plus, as we often hear on ARF, she's not a "single mom" as in never married and the kids have different baby daddies. On that point, she's no different than any divorced dad with kids. View Quote |
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My BiL is nearly 55, never married, and since around 2013 has often relied upon his family (or loans from friends) to pay his mortgage.
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I can see why so many men have problems finding woman or staying married. Lol Good luck. |
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