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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:11:59 AM EDT
[#1]
My wife and I have a secret signal we give each other when either of us run into a former lover. It happens. We immediately hold hands and visit politely.
Don't be a bitch OP. That is all. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:12:47 AM EDT
[#2]
I consider who a woman dated or seen before I met her, her business, not mine, unless she wants to disclose it. Would not like it if she made that comment to me if situation we reversed. Like another posted replied, she might have been screwed and dumped.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:14:10 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe try not being an ass and putting her on the spot like that Everything before that is insecure BS. BFD she lied to you for five minutes and felt bad about it. Grow up OP. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:16:11 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP will not be growing old with this woman. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:17:17 AM EDT
[#5]
Seems like the lie was just a kneejerk response, and when asked a second time she came clean. That tells me she feels guilt if she is dishonest, and her true intention is to tell the truth. While honesty is always the right thing, it isn't always the easiest thing. I would do everything you can to create an environment where she feels safe to be honest. Maybe saying, "hey, sorry I got pissed off, but you did tell the truth afterwards and I really appreciate that. It probably wasn't easy to admit that". you don't want to create an environment where she doesn't feel safe to be honest.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:18:48 AM EDT
[#6]
So in public a guy is a shit head and puts her in a very uncomfortable spot. She doesn't handle very smoothly. Now you are mad. Is that the TL;DR ?
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:19:17 AM EDT
[#7]
I guarantee she has fucked him while seeing you, probably even recently...sorry dude.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:19:49 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
^^This^^ While your delivery and approach lacked - asking who he was could have been handled better, I prefer a simple direct approach "Who was he" and see from there what your gut tells you based on her reaction That being said - if your relationship involves a back and forth dialogue that includes a bit a shit giving back and forth with yoru GF - then maybe its not out of the norm to make a jest like asking is that a fuck buddy - you know your relationship better than anyone on GD - and we don't know even how long you have been with your GF - as that is to me a huge factor in whats really going on and her reaction - if you are very recently a couple - then even more so a greater chance one of the two scenarios or a combination of them are playing out. Based on her reactions - off the cuff I will go with she is still seeing the guy - or was very much recently - even if you are a couple Good luck Again, her reaction to the situation seems way disproportionate to the facts you have been given. I don't know anyone who would cry all night about a fib that they came clean about almost immediately. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:20:32 AM EDT
[#9]
I think you reacted a little heavily. I've always made it a point not to ask about the previous sex lives of any girlfriend or wife. I honestly don't care if she was the town whore. And I most certainly don't want to know if she was but what she did and what I did before we were together is not any of each other's business so it's one of those subjects we don't get into. Probably a good thing because my wife would be fucking shocked if she knew how nasty of a bastard I was :-)
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:20:45 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
Let me preface this by saying I know everyone has a past. That doesn’t bother me. So now the details At dinner with the gf when a guy walks up and says “hey, how ya been? Haven’t seen you in a while.” She says she been doing good and introduces me. Do the handshake hey bull shit and he says have a good one and goes sit down at his table. I jokingly ask “who was that, former fuckbuddy?” And laughed. She stutters and says “no just a friend of some mutual friends.” I instantly smell the bull shit but don’t say anything. Just keep eating. She hasn’t taken a bite in over a minute and I say, “something on your mind?” Knowing there is. She finally comes clean and said she lied about how she knows him and that they did hook up a few times the month before I met her. I don’t care that she hooked up with dudes. I was a whore before I met her. But anytime she has asked me anything I have always been honest. Even if she doesn’t want the answer. I am pisssed about the fact she lied to me. I can’t stand it. We get in he car and she starts apologizing and crying for lying etc. I tell her it’s a very stupid thing to lie about. I just stop talking about it because I am irritated she lied to me about something. She cries all night. I shower and go to bed. Am I dumb for being pissed she lied to me? In b4 eject You should be smart enough to realize you put her on the defensive by asking if he was her fuckbuddy. Grow up and don’t make every discussion an argument. Relationships last longer and are better. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:21:18 AM EDT
[#11]
In an ideal world, she would have said, "There is more to the story but I have to think about how to explain it. Give me some time on this." Then move on with the dinner.
But we don't live in an ideal world. She didn't have enough time to fully process the situation before communicating, so everything went sideways and fell into a world of chaos. What she did isn't really lying, it just appears that way. She panicked because she cares. OP should be mending fences and she should probably eject. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:22:01 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe try not being an ass and putting her on the spot like that |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:22:39 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was making a joke and had no idea it actually was a fuck buddy. Wasn’t putting anyone on the spot intentionally |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:23:22 AM EDT
[#14]
The Ladder is real.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:25:25 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Correct, Let it go, stop being a douche. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
It’s a natural thing to lie about and it sounds like she came clean on her own shortly after. You also phrased the question in a way that doesn’t invite an honest answer. I wouldn’t get too worked up over it. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:26:08 AM EDT
[#16]
Not much I can say OP, other than I hope you've learned something here today.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:26:46 AM EDT
[#17]
You really want to mess with her? Act like it doesn't bother you one bit. The crazy female mind will wind that into you must not care because you are cheating on her with someone younger and hotter. Maybe say hi to a couple girls that are good friends of yours or ex's on FB. Then just sit back and enjoy the show.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:30:08 AM EDT
[#18]
I see this in that motherfuckers future |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:30:50 AM EDT
[#19]
No pics, no care.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:31:15 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/192762/B38ADEBD-A664-4E72-8BD8-EA92CCE7C034-708427.gif I see this in that motherfuckers future |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:33:40 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'd be more annoyed at the guy walking up to the table and pissing on her leg while she's clearly on a date. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:34:14 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What is your required wait time for a woman to wait between men? 3 months? 6 months? a year? Thats a rediculous statement. You're probably right. I'm old-school; I always believed in developing a relationship with a woman before having sex with her. Then again, I've been happily married for 34 years, so I'm a little out of touch with modern dating mores. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:36:48 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted:
Update: We discussed the issue this morning. She once again apologized for lying about it and said she knew it was stupid to lie about. I apologized as well for putting her on the spot and for fishing with the question. We hugged and kissed and are leaving that in the past. All is well. You're fucked Eject. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:36:54 AM EDT
[#24]
I would say it’s wise to just accept the apology and move on but if you hear about this ever again I would eject.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:37:15 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe try not being an ass and putting her on the spot like that |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:38:44 AM EDT
[#26]
OP's story made me
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:39:25 AM EDT
[#27]
So you're not engaged and she's not your wife.
I think she's well within reason to not indulge everything to you. Now if you two get seriouser, you'd be well within reason to request all her secrets. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:40:06 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe try not being an ass and putting her on the spot like that Sounds like she could do better 
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:49:00 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds like she might still be banging him or thinking about it or wants to again. Sorry. Just what I see. No reason on her end to keep crying about it seems strange. Then again what do I know. Everyone is different. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:54:39 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was making a joke and had no idea it actually was a fuck buddy. Wasn’t putting anyone on the spot intentionally |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:55:20 AM EDT
[#31]
She lied, it bothered her that she lied to you and she came clean within a few minutes. Let it go. Maybe she will finally trust you, but if she burns you again, well, some people never learn.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:55:46 AM EDT
[#32]
Besides, OP is accusing GF of a process crime. He should go to work for Mueller.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:57:13 AM EDT
[#33]
The guy who came to your table is an ass. But you should have ignored it all, it is in the past let it go. Probably the guy was trying to get a reaction from you or even provoke you, just let it go.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:59:14 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She was probably embarrassed the fuckhead came over to the table like that and just tried to dismiss it as quickly as possible. You can tell it immediately bothered her that she lied and she came clean... I'd drop it |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 11:59:25 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You mean ridiculous, I think. You're probably right. I'm old-school; I always believed in developing a relationship with a woman before having sex with her. Then again, I've been happily married for 34 years, so I'm a little out of touch with modern dating mores.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:11:54 PM EDT
[#36]
God damnit! Where are the pics!? I scrolled through all 4 pages and didn't see a single one!
You were mad, she apologized, now you're not mad. Problem solved. On the flip side the dude was being a monumental asshat for wandering up to a girl he used to fuck knowing she's sitting there with another guy on a date. He was hoping she'd tell you he was an old fuck buddy to piss you off. That was his goal. To be a fucking douche-canoe. If only it were legal, you should have drug him outside by his ear and pistol whipped him like that Goodfellas gif earlier in this thread. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:13:53 PM EDT
[#37]
Seems like she came clean still in the moment and was really sorry. You were right to be pissed and would be right to forgive her imo.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:18:25 PM EDT
[#38]
OP is insecure
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:18:49 PM EDT
[#39]
You overreacted, that's in her mind now, your relationship is doomed, it's just a matter of time.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:20:23 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That dude came over knowing she was with a guy and he did it to show YOU op. He let her know what's up and wasn't intimidated by you being there. Sounds like she got played and dropped, you're the rebound. Cuck thread I'd be pissed . gd |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:22:34 PM EDT
[#41]
Did he look like Magic Mike?
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:29:41 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She was probably embarrassed the fuckhead came over to the table like that and just tried to dismiss it as quickly as possible. You can tell it immediately bothered her that she lied and she came clean... I'd drop it |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:32:01 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: From who? |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:33:26 PM EDT
[#44]
Good for you OP...
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:33:34 PM EDT
[#45]
Sounds like you're both overreacting a bit.
Just move on. You certainly don't want to dwell on it. It's just part of relationships. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:40:06 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One of the ARF gals should do a parody thread.  "Dear Arfcom, I never thought this would happen to me..."
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:42:33 PM EDT
[#47]
I think it’s “dumb” for asking the question in the first place...
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:43:35 PM EDT
[#48]
People have relationships. Most of them don't work out long term.
There are girls that I've hooked up with in the past that I still care about as friends, that I'll certainly say "hi" to if I run into them. (Though, I generally try to read the room... I'd prefer not to cockblock, and wouldn't walk up on a date  . Especially if it's a new relationship).
He was being obtuse. She was painted in a corner and tried to handle it best she could. It is certainly natural for you to be irritated. But you'll get over it. Just let it go and all parties will be better off for it. |
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:44:14 PM EDT
[#49]
Its times like this that I really wish parody threads were still allowed. I can only imagine the hilarious parody thread this would inspire.
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Posted: 1/25/2019 12:44:40 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: OP |
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