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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:52:09 PM EDT
[#1]
I've been called an asshole more than once. I just smile and agree.
What people think is being an asshole is just me not putting up with fools and idiots. Life is better when you truly don't give a damn what people think. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:55:36 PM EDT
[#2]
Amen brother!!
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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:56:34 PM EDT
[#3]
Quoted: This is inspired by a woman, who manages a sporting goods business in my hometown, complaining to me about a guy who, I swear, hasn't had a good thing said about him. She was describing him to me (she isn't from the area) and then when I figured out who he was I was laughing when she started complaining about him as a repeat customer. I had him as a high school teacher. Students hated him. Parents hated him. After I graduated, I found out many teachers hated him. I have a few family friends who were administrators, school board members etc. and they hated him too. I grew up in a smaller town. Since I graduated, I've been hearing stories about him and his shenanigans. He pretty much rubs everyone he comes into contact with the wrong way. Apparently, he's retired so now he's no longer just pissing off people associated with the local high school. The guy has a huge ego, a super high opinion of himself (I don't know why) and a bad temper (he's not violent). I'm honestly surprised he wasn't fired and made it to retirement. I guess if you have tenure, you can't get fired. He seems oblivious to the hate. I don't think I've heard of a single story of someone telling him to his face what a fuck he is. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:58:28 PM EDT
[#4]
Thread = OP is a Jerk.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:59:20 PM EDT
[#5]
I spent a significant portion of my life trying to do what my bipolar narcissistic psychopath father told me. This led to me manifesting an awful lot of jerk behavior. Ever since he passed away I've been trying to establish what behaviors are mine and what were just maladaptions to the environment he provided.
I encounter a lot less resistance in my day to day life these days. Back when he was defining my life I had an incredible ability to get people whom I had ZERO previous interactions with to threaten to kill me from the instant they first saw me. Granted these people were usually criminals and mentally disturbed homeless people. But not all of them fell into that category. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 8:59:47 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Thread = OP is a Jerk.  |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:01:01 PM EDT
[#7]
They do, but it's not often enough to have it sink in.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:06:19 PM EDT
[#8]
IRL I make it a point to call out and ostracize douche bags. I do it with intellect and class, it's a great time.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:08:06 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They do, but it's not often enough to have it sink in. My opinion of course. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:08:56 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: IRL I make it a point to call out and ostracize douche bags. I do it with intellect and class, it's a great time. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:09:44 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: IRL I make it a point to call out and ostracize douche bags. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:09:53 PM EDT
[#12]
They all end up as regulars on GD on Barfcom
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:11:09 PM EDT
[#13]
I get told everyday
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:11:16 PM EDT
[#14]
I asked a boss why he was always such a dick once and he got flustered stammered a bit and then told me to load my toolbox.
I was like cool,peace out cunt. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:13:06 PM EDT
[#15]
He's not oblivious he feeds off it, he lives for it. I know folks just like you described. Un-happy MF'ers
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:14:18 PM EDT
[#16]
Narcissistic Personalty Disorder is nearly untreatable. Not because therapists capable of treating it don’t exist, but because the narcissists refuse to believe that anything needs treating. Many people embrace the very qualities that everyone else recognize as making them unbearable to be around. And they’re PROUD of it. They have to be proud of it, because they’re incapable of accepting that they could be wrong - even just a little bit - about anything like that.
There’s already evidence of this characteristic in this thread.Very few of these people ever recognize that the reason every room they walk into is full of assholes, is because THEY are actually the asshole. A woman I knew once interviewed for a job as a 911 dispatcher. She was bragging about how well she answered the questions. She was especially proud of how she answered when they asked, “How do you handle criticism?” She told them, “when I’m wrong, I accept it just fine. But if I’m actually right, you better hold on.” She was baffled when she didn’t get the job. TL/DR: The jerks never recognize or accept that they are the jerk. When they do get told, they just reject it as being impossible. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:14:18 PM EDT
[#17]
The jerk store called
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:15:06 PM EDT
[#18]
Pastor of the church that charters the scout troop I used to lead called me "irascible". Yeah, I don't care. He's a fucking idiot.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:15:36 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Thread = OP is a Jerk. You’re a jerk for getting here before I could. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:16:30 PM EDT
[#20]
 Norm Macdonald - Real jerk |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:16:42 PM EDT
[#21]
See the happy moron,
He does not give a damn. I wish I was a happy moron. My God - Perhaps I am ! |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:17:07 PM EDT
[#22]
bad people can sometimes force you to develop self defenses
...those same bad people will curse you when you are forced to use those same defenses they made you develop yeah...I've been a jerk to a few people most of them had it coming |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:17:24 PM EDT
[#23]
Never a jerk or asshole, because I think I'm genuinely a nice dude,
But I've been called out on my idiotic comments here on Arfcom many times. I see it as a time to learn and reflect. When a complete stranger calls you a "driveling retard and a stain on your mothers dress", it tends to humble you and realize that perhaps you may still have some things to learn. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:17:38 PM EDT
[#24]
I had a buddy who was a jerk. Whenever he was told he was a jerk he always had a comeback, or some way of deflecting it.
But when we would get shitfaced and spill our guts to eachother, ge would sometimes bring up being called a jerk. And he admitted it bothered him. He knew he was a jerk. He didn't know why he was a jerk. He didn't know how to stop being a jerk. Cry, cry, cry, everybody thinks im a jerk. Its not my fault im a jerk. What a jerk. I don't talk to him anymore. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:23:31 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: They all end up as regulars on GD on Barfcom See? Case in point. There's always a tell. Like the use of the word "Barfcom". |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:25:40 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: See? Case in point. There's always a tell. Like the use of the word "Barfcom". Barfcom is brilliant. Simple, visceral, honest, and you can smell it as soon as you read it. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:27:16 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I've been called an asshole more than once. I just smile and agree. What people think is being an asshole is just me not putting up with fools and idiots. Life is better when you truly don't give a damn what people think. Yep. We just don't give a F. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:32:56 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Narcissistic Personalty Disorder is nearly untreatable. Not because therapists capable of treating it don’t exist, but because the narcissists refuse to believe that anything needs treating. Many people embrace the very qualities that everyone else recognize as making them unbearable to be around. And they’re PROUD of it. They have to be proud of it, because they’re incapable of accepting that they could be wrong - even just a little bit - about anything like that. There’s already evidence of this characteristic in this thread.Very few of these people ever recognize that the reason every room they walk into is full of assholes, is because THEY are actually the asshole. A woman I knew once interviewed for a job as a 911 dispatcher. She was bragging about how well she answered the questions. She was especially proud of how she answered when they asked, “How do you handle criticism?” She told them, “when I’m wrong, I accept it just fine. But if I’m actually right, you better hold on.” She was baffled when she didn’t get the job. TL/DR: The jerks never recognize or accept that they are the jerk. When they do get told, they just reject it as being impossible. I have known quite a few individuals who had that personality. They all liked it, it gave them what they wanted. they would not have changed if they could. Negative attention wasn`t the same as positive attention, it was better & easier go get. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:35:47 PM EDT
[#29]
i was feeling a little 'fartcom' this evening...chili, no beans
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Posted: 12/18/2022 9:51:30 PM EDT
[#30]
I used to be a professional asshole/jerk, so yes. I remember one of my co-worker assholes got mad when someone called him that. I told him that's good, it's our job.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:08:45 PM EDT
[#31]
Yes and yes.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:09:37 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Barfcom is brilliant. Simple, visceral, honest, and you can smell it as soon as you read it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: See? Case in point. There's always a tell. Like the use of the word "Barfcom". Barfcom is brilliant. Simple, visceral, honest, and you can smell it as soon as you read it. 
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:10:41 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The jerk store called And they’re running out if you! |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:12:31 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Narcissistic Personalty Disorder is nearly untreatable. Not because therapists capable of treating it don’t exist, but because the narcissists refuse to believe that anything needs treating. Many people embrace the very qualities that everyone else recognize as making them unbearable to be around. And they’re PROUD of it. They have to be proud of it, because they’re incapable of accepting that they could be wrong - even just a little bit - about anything like that. There’s already evidence of this characteristic in this thread.Very few of these people ever recognize that the reason every room they walk into is full of assholes, is because THEY are actually the asshole. A woman I knew once interviewed for a job as a 911 dispatcher. She was bragging about how well she answered the questions. She was especially proud of how she answered when they asked, “How do you handle criticism?” She told them, “when I’m wrong, I accept it just fine. But if I’m actually right, you better hold on.” She was baffled when she didn’t get the job. TL/DR: The jerks never recognize or accept that they are the jerk. When they do get told, they just reject it as being impossible. You are absolutely correct. We can use that to our advantage. If want to find out if someone is a narcissist, ask a question like "What are some things that you could do to make yourself a better person?". A healthy person is likely to start listing things. He or she accepts being an imperfect person. A narcissist will either give you a perplexed look or be offended by your assumption that he or she is not perfect in every way. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:15:16 PM EDT
[#35]
I get called an asshole often and it is generally deserved. I have my pluses and minuses.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:17:45 PM EDT
[#36]
Sometimes they get told but it means nothing to them.
A lot of these people are in love with selves it doesn't matter what you think. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:21:50 PM EDT
[#37]
The one I have to work with gets told plenty by the rest of us there. He just laughs and goes right back to it.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:23:11 PM EDT
[#38]
I'm pretty much proud of it.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:29:35 PM EDT
[#39]
 Old Beavis and Butt-Head - Do 'JoJo - Worst (I Assume)' Butthead has matured into a full-blown jerk. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:30:31 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:44:07 PM EDT
[#41]
Turns out Arf was a good place to ask the question. You got your answer OP: They Know, but they Like it. They’re Proud of it.
For whatever reason, being a Jerk, is something they identify with. It gives their life meaning. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 11:39:00 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: And they're running out if you! Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: The jerk store called And they're running out if you! |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 11:43:35 PM EDT
[#43]
Some people are just incredibly disagreeable.
The options remain the same. Either you set clear boundaries with what you will put up with, or you just avoid them at all costs. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 11:49:28 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: He's not oblivious he feeds off it, he lives for it. I know folks just like you described. Un-happy MF'ers He never liked me but I've heard from other people that I went to school with that he tried to stay in contact with them. He seems to think he's their friend and mentor. |
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:04:44 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Turns out Arf was a good place to ask the question. You got your answer OP: They Know, but they Like it. They're Proud of it. For whatever reason, being a Jerk, is something they identify with. It gives their life meaning. I've been in the retail and restaurant industry for most of my life. You deal with some people that just live to give you a hard time and fuck with you. Now that I'm a bit older and own my own business it's funny I seemingly never run into these types anymore.  When I was in my twenties and working for someone else, I encountered them pretty frequently. My staff members who are in their late teens and early twenties still encounter them. |
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:06:51 AM EDT
[#46]
You have to tell them with your butt cheeks like Ace Ventura.
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:09:00 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryI love Beavis' moments of lucidity, "In a just world they would've killed you" 
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:11:01 AM EDT
[#48]
In my twenties I was an angry jerk.
Many years later, I'm as laid back as anyone you ever met. I don't think anyone would call me a jerk now. |
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:11:21 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yep. We just don't give a F. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I've been called an asshole more than once. I just smile and agree. What people think is being an asshole is just me not putting up with fools and idiots. Life is better when you truly don't give a damn what people think. Yep. We just don't give a F. I don't see it as a badge of honor. Maybe I would have lied and told you that when I was younger immature insecure guy but not now. |
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Posted: 12/19/2022 12:45:21 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Narcissistic Personalty Disorder is nearly untreatable. Not because therapists capable of treating it don’t exist, but because the narcissists refuse to believe that anything needs treating. Many people embrace the very qualities that everyone else recognize as making them unbearable to be around. And they’re PROUD of it. They have to be proud of it, because they’re incapable of accepting that they could be wrong - even just a little bit - about anything like that. There’s already evidence of this characteristic in this thread.Very few of these people ever recognize that the reason every room they walk into is full of assholes, is because THEY are actually the asshole. A woman I knew once interviewed for a job as a 911 dispatcher. She was bragging about how well she answered the questions. She was especially proud of how she answered when they asked, “How do you handle criticism?” She told them, “when I’m wrong, I accept it just fine. But if I’m actually right, you better hold on.” She was baffled when she didn’t get the job. TL/DR: The jerks never recognize or accept that they are the jerk. When they do get told, they just reject it as being impossible. I noted that. Seemed like this thread has been a honeypot for NPD types already. The handful of times I’ve had a really poor interaction with a fellow employee over the past 12 years on the fire department, and we’re talking like 3 people out of 1500, I’ve always done a lot of self reflection and worried that I was the asshole. A few times I’ve even apologized with full self awareness I really didn’t do anything wrong, hoping to smooth things over, and had my interactions with these folks and the relationship got even more contentious. Watching these folks move on in their career they have without exception left a long trail of drama, investigations, and exceedingly poor reputations. One has even managed to still get promoted twice (and hated by his subordinates.) One of the others got arrested in a prostitution sting and still somehow has a job. He gets ran out of every firehouse he bids into in about six months. I later realized I was likely dealing with NPD or BPD folks. |
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