Which is worse.

Being direct, open and honest

Or

Being nice to someone’s face and then talking about them behind their back.

I say the later, but then again, I’m a jerk.

Some wear it as a badge of honor.

I think there is a difference. You can be direct, open, and honest and not be a jerk.

If you're getting enjoyment out of being "direct, open, and honest" or you're using it as a weapon or a tool you're a jerk.

I had a family member who always went looking for flaws, faults, failing, etc. When called out on it "I'm just being honest." He wasn't vocalizing this stuff for altruistic reasons. He wasn't doing it to make the person better.

Exactly.  I tend to keep my pie hole shut when it comes to unsolicited opinions, unless something dangerous is about to happen.  After I retired, I got a part-time gig at my favorite local gun store...Cerakote, light gunsmithing, emergency counter help, etc.  Just low-key beer and skittles money and something to keep busy.  The owner was kinda flakey, and was prone to flights of fancy regarding his business chasing the big $$.

He came to me one day and laid out the latest new direction, personnel changes, and priorities.  "What do you think, SP?"  I told him that short of soaking the place in kerosene and tossing in a road flare, he couldn't do anything worse than his plan.  Explained why.  Gave examples.  

He told me later that he appreciated the honesty, and he knew he could trust that those were my true thoughts BECAUSE I never spoke like that before, wasn't the employee that was always voicing loud and contrarian opinions just being 'that guy'.  I liken it to the Christian guy that never curses...when he screams "GET THE *&%^#$^ DOWN", everybody pays attention.

I have to drag advice out of people I want advice from.

It took me a while to realize the guy giving you unsolicited "business advice" usually isn't doing it to help you. It also took me a while to just smile and say, "thanks I'll think about."  Even if it's fucking dumbest advice.

About five years ago I started reading and watching videos on Cluster B personality disorders (narcissistic, anti-social/sociopath/psychopath, etc.). I know it is subjective however it explained a (fortunately) small amount of people I had known in my life. Wish I would have learned about such disorders (if indeed the psychology is valid) many years ago. Would have helped me avoid a few folks, I think.

One thing I have read consistently, is that there is a good way to recognize this personality disorder. Look at how the person in question treats the wait staff (restaurant, motel, retail). One guy I have known for many years (fortunately never had to work at a job with) is usually dismissive, is rather demeaning to waiters/waitresses when we meet for lunch. To the point where I find it embarrassing and mention it to him. Anyway, such behavior is a tell, red flag supposedly. (And sure enough, he checks off several other boxes in the Cluster B traits that I have read about.) I am not a mental health professional, so ultimately don't know.