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Posted: 8/7/2022 11:47:03 PM EST
[#1]
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Posted: 8/7/2022 11:56:09 PM EST
[#2]
Most people settle.
Don’t settle. |
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Posted: 8/7/2022 11:56:17 PM EST
[#3]
All's I know is I was a 20 year old soldier in Germany and she had a nice ass.
 That was 40 years and three kids ago. Still going strong.   
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:02:55 AM EST
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It was either God or luck. I prefer to look at it as God. Almost 33 years. Not perfect. Lots of work. Lots of blessings. I KNOW it’s God. Never thought I’d live this long, much less so Blessed to be married like this. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:15:26 AM EST
[#5]
In my case it was pure luck. When I was at Bragg, I use to go to Myrtle Beach a lot on weekends. One weekend I decided to go to Topsail Island. Met the missus there as her family was there on vacation from Rochester, NY.
They would go to Topsail about once or twice a year on a week's vacation. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:20:23 AM EST
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I KNOW it’s God. Never thought I’d live this long, much less so Blessed to be married like this. Definitely God. 30 years ago I placed a personal ad in a health magazine and only one woman answered the ad... my wife. Just like pioneers we cleared land, built our own house together, and are living happily ever after.  |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:29:21 AM EST
[#7]
Took 2 divorces to find the right one. My take is luck and admitting that I am not easy to live with for the wrong person.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:31:17 AM EST
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Both. I got lucky and found an exceptional woman, but hard work has kept us together. I highly recommend marrying a Redhead trauma surgeon! You’ll never be bored and you’ll never wait in line at the ER. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:41:22 AM EST
[#9]
It’s probably both, but the hard work part is really important.
And the hard work begins when you meet. Getting to know someone’s character and personality is important before having sex and those subsequent hormones mess up your ability to see yellow and red flags. Getting to know their history, their relationships with friends, parents, past relationships, etc. Their attitudes about money, kids, sex, fun, relaxation, work, etc. All of this takes time. I usually recommend that it takes a year to take enough time to really understand all the things you need to know. And there’s something about immature love that has people suppressing their reality in order to please their new love...you need to have enough time to get over that. Then you need the determination to have hard conversations when you see yellow or red flags. And even how someone reacts to hard conversations can be an indicator of their suitability as a partner. And that’s just the beginning of communication. There are books written about the subject and marriage. Just writing this down makes it seem like too much work. It is hard. Some people can make it work without all this pre work, but I can guarantee you the post marriage work is even more difficult. And you still need some luck to make it work long term. Rhino Married 21 years with 4 kids |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:47:57 AM EST
[#10]
Patience... and being in the right place, where a good woman might be.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:55:22 AM EST
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It was either God or luck. I prefer to look at it as God. That's what I think too. I didn't make it happen, and like other good things I just looked up and there she was. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 12:56:22 AM EST
[#12]
I would say a good portion of it is luck. Much of mental disorders won't manifest itself for 10-20 years such as NPD, BPD etc.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 1:08:32 AM EST
[#13]
Mine was divine intervention.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 1:17:23 AM EST
[#14]
I think its more of a matter of finding someone who appreciates you and not force you to lose your identity and it goes both ways.
Make 3 lists. 1. Things I will absolutely not give up (religion, hobbies, etc) 2. Things I am willing to compromise on (religion, hobbies, etc) 3. Things that dont matter to me if I keep or lose them Find a girl that works with you on that and that is called respect. Dont fucking settle. Every friend that settled now has an ex wife  or is a cuck Yes it really is that easy. Now if you believe in a higher spirit, I believe people are pushed in your direction. What you do after that is on you. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 1:29:42 AM EST
[#15]
Quoted: After reading all the GD relationship stories here, I'm convinced it's a lottery based purely on luck. Some get really lucky and find a great wife. Others have to wait years with several kids until they realize they just lost big time. Finding the right one is hard. You have to be ready to be a husband, she ready to be a wife. IME all prior relationships are shaping you into that role. Once the relationship starts guess what, its even more work to not screw it up! Been with my Wife the better part of a decade now, but I try to make a point in asking myself what I can do to make her day a bit better. Even something simple like a foot rub when she gets off work, or letting her take a nap while I corral kids, or because her love language is verbal affirmation saying something super mushy, whatever it makes her day just a bit better. I see a lot of relationships grow apart because both parties are not working to grow that bond. Simply put your marriage is the most important thing in your life. Its the foundation for your children. Its your home life. If you arent working just as hard on the marriage as you do at work, I'd be worried. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 2:55:25 AM EST
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Fate Luck Timing The perfect combo. My wife is my soulmate and I would not be in the this stage of my life without her. Hell, I don't even think I'd be alive if it were not for her. She has a way of comforting my soul after all the shit I have seen and been through. I would destroy civilizations for her! |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 2:59:58 AM EST
[#17]
Quoted: After reading all the GD relationship stories here, I'm convinced it's a lottery based purely on luck. Some get really lucky and find a great wife. Others have to wait years with several kids until they realize they just lost big time. Luck and rubbing one out before the first date. Go on that date with full balls, youre likely to gloss over warning signs that should prevent a second date. Good sex does not always make a great relationship or marriage. With the right woman, super nekkid fun time can be just as fun with the best wife match as it can be with the hot chick that can fuck that's crazy. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 3:19:29 AM EST
[#18]
People that get married later in life are more likely to choose wisely. Part of that is because both parties are more, "grown up," for lack of a better term.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 3:33:23 AM EST
[#19]
I remember G. Gordan Liddy giving advice on finding a wife way way back when he was doing his radio show in early 90's. How he selected is decided what traits he wanted his children to have. Then he sought a woman with those qualities to be their mother. I guess it worked out OK. He and Mrs. Liddy had 3 very successful children, 2 military officers and a lawyer IIRC. And she had a very extensive firearm collection as he described it...... Me? I married a Thai farm girl introduced by mutual friends. I was retired at the time living in Thailand. She choose me, basically moved in and never moved out. 8 years later with 3 kids so I guess we doing OK. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 3:34:10 AM EST
[#20]
Common sense.
If you go looking for nickels in the gutter, that is what you will find. If you go looking for a wife in a strip club, don't be surprised if you find coked up whores. If you go looking for a wife where bright, based, healthy women congregate, you will find those there. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 3:51:56 AM EST
[#21]
Hard work and understanding the warning signs definitely plays a large part but luck will always play a role
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Posted: 8/8/2022 4:03:39 AM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Luck. You can do all the homework in the world and she can still change on you. Yep, 3 years in, she lost the uterus, turned into a monster, ?? |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 4:14:01 AM EST
[#23]
Trial and Error.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 4:16:51 AM EST
[#24]
I got lucky and had a wife for 31 years before she was taken from me last year. We used to talk all the time about how we were so fortunate to have found each other. We were so compatible it was almost scary.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 4:20:40 AM EST
[#25]
Most people start out clueless when it comes to choosing a mate. Finding the right person is based on a number of things. It starts with being the right person. Are you an honest, level headed, person with minimal downsides? Do you know how to resolve differences productively rather than harmfully? Can you evaluate someone and see them objectively enough to decide if they're a person of high moral character and someone that's compatable with you and your lifestyle? I didn't get married until I was in my 30's and by then I had enough sense to consider some of the things that ended up contributing to making a good choice. 26 years later I love my wife more deeply than the day I married her.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 4:47:15 AM EST
[#26]
Most guys dont choose the right Wife, this happens instead:
Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:31:41 AM EST
[#27]
I got lucky.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:34:32 AM EST
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There aren’t enough good There's a lot of men in jail or with criminal records and a lot who won't or don't work. If you avoid crime and embrace employment you're at least better than most, not as good as some. Once I realized that I held the cards I started shopping for a wife, not a woman willing to have sex with me. Many didn't get past that part unfortunately for them. But the one winner is a keeper. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:34:49 AM EST
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It was either God or luck. I prefer to look at it as God. Almost 33 years. Not perfect. Lots of work. Lots of blessings. Yep, God picked a good one for me also. Don’t know if God picked a good one for her. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:47:32 AM EST
[#30]
Certainly some luck involved, but the majority of divorces that I’ve seen were very easy to predict. Making decisions based on emotion isn’t a good strategy, but that’s what most people do when picking their future spouse.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:47:54 AM EST
[#31]
Has Aaron Clarey's Book of Numbers been mentioned yet?
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Posted: 8/8/2022 5:52:56 AM EST
[#32]
I know I was lucky to find my wife. Her parents were good friends with my parents, she was best friends with my sisters. I was friends with her brother. We grew up together. So proximity, time spent together at family outings...we knew each other well. I remember intentionally cracking her up just so she would spew milk or KoolAid out of her nose.
There was also a ton of hard work to make myself into a feature packed specimen that at least one woman was drawn to. I'll give it 75/25 on the luck/work scale. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:01:52 AM EST
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Luck. You can do all the homework in the world and she can still change on you. Amen to that. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:02:48 AM EST
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No one actually cares about you except possibly your mother and your dog. Watch what happens after you dont feed the dog a few days. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:10:00 AM EST
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Luck. You can do all the homework in the world and she can still change on you. Lots of luck. Is it any coincidence that the person you marry is someone you have met? |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:14:14 AM EST
[#36]
Your brain fully matures around 25. The period before this is your window of cognitive adaptation. This is the pair bonding phase for humans. For the vast majority of cases you will be forced to compromise with other other person. IE you do not begin as being fully compatible with another person. If this pair bonding process happens during your window of cognitive adaptation both of you have a greater chance of adapting to the other one.
This is one of the reasons that the average age of marriage going over 25 is a sign of a coming civilizational collapse. Edit: it also helps if there is significant social pressure to force both parties to adapt during this phase. Note that this isn't exactly helpful advice for the average person here. This is a large scale systematic take on the problem that can hopefully help people better understand the problem and how it might apply to them. Know your enemy and know yourself. Most people don't know either one. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:14:56 AM EST
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Still believe it’s kismet. Here is a photo of my wife and I when we were in high school. Met her only once, she came over for dinner with her parents who was friends with my mother. I drooled immediately but tried to play it cool. My hopes were crushed when I found out she was in a relationship. Still had fun that night, went to see Forest Gump. When she left for the night I hugged her and said it was nice meeting you. That was in 1994. Didn’t see her again until 2008. On our first date (after emailing and talking on the phone for 2 weeks she was in town and I pulled up to the house she was staying at. I get out of the car and she was there, outside and gave me a big hug. She told me she loved me 2 hours later We were engaged 3 months later and married 8 months later. We were reunited 2 weeks after me telling God that I’m okay being a bachelor and if it’s my purpose to coach and teach I’m okay with that. https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/170028/E8272F06-A4DB-48B6-9345-856DD73D71FD_jpe-2481281.JPG LOL! While typing this I told my wife I was hungry and she ran to the kitchen to reheat some pizza. It’s also nice she used to work at deli and make perfect sammiches. Biggest help for Turkey/chicken is to have it shaved. Deli clerk will roll their eyes but it really does bring the sammich together! Punching way above your weight class pal……… 
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:17:30 AM EST
[#38]
Finding a wife
I prefer to just ask out a gal on a date, with ZERO chance that she will be my future wife. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:20:48 AM EST
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Luck. My wife lived in the apartment above me. Besides saying hi a couple times I never even really talked to her. One day she knocked on my door and was straight up like I have a crush on you. And we have been inseparable since. https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/351019/C2538728-B73D-4C8E-BA51-9BD1D1504941-2033016.png Ok, even I will admit that's a pretty cool story.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:23:00 AM EST
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Choosing wisely is difficult work It's just like little league baseball. The dumb ones swing at everything. The smart ones wait for their pitch. Combine that (on your side), to what kind of person you are. If you are a piece of shit, don't expect for good people to introduce you to good people. We were introduced by people who knew both of us for a long time. That's the only way an asshole like me won |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:23:51 AM EST
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Most people settle. Don’t settle. A shitload of people will settle and be content but will always wonder if they coulda done better. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:24:32 AM EST
[#42]
Partially genetic luck. You can find exceptional women but if they are not interested in you, you won’t end up with any of them.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:31:32 AM EST
[#43]
I will sum it up ------ dont think with your dick.....and be patient.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:34:49 AM EST
[#44]
The "right " wife is open to discussion. However , you have to throw enough rocks to hit something.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:50:18 AM EST
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No one actually cares about you except possibly your mother and your dog. Truth. If I had a nickel for each time I've heard about some poor guy whose been married for 20 plus years, only to come home early from work one day to catch his wife getting railed from behind and all of a sudden all those years together meant absolutely nothing to her. It's like she flipped a switch. No emotions, no love, just nothing. Women can be a lot more cruel than men in my opinion. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 6:52:17 AM EST
[#46]
Part of the problem may be age related. Lots of folks get married when they're young, and perhaps are not fully capable of making a good decision or at least don't consider some very important issues.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 7:03:43 AM EST
[#47]
God usually has the one your supposed to be with cross your path several times in your life
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Posted: 8/8/2022 7:05:48 AM EST
[#48]
First thing you have to do is have a plan. I had a mental checklist that included:
-Intelligent/Educated -Self sufficient (had actually lived on her own) -From a non divorced two parent family -Working Now not saying I might not have bent a little on the requirements but the key is you have to be fairly selective if you are going to find a quality spouse. In the end I pretty much hit the lottery. But, I had been patient and spent a fair amount of time waiting for the right match. I was 30 when we got married. Too many panic that they are going to end up alone and settle. Settling never works out. |
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Posted: 8/8/2022 7:06:34 AM EST
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There aren’t enough good women to go around so you have to be a good man and have a bit of luck. Pretty much this. I worked hard to be a worthy mate, and had the fortune of being in the right place at the right time when the woman who became my wife was available. There’s a lot more to it than that but I’m glad that I didn’t pass up the chance to go out with her. In a monthish we’ll be celebrating 29 years of marriage.
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Posted: 8/8/2022 7:06:58 AM EST
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Luck. You can do all the homework in the world and she can still change on you. |
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