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Quoted: Bullshit, childish eject. That gal had the courage to admit she fucked and tell you what went down. She could have just kept her mouth shut and you would have been none the wiser. Instead she mustered the courage to tell you, most likely because she was falling in love and wanted things to be right. You rewarded her by throwing a pissy fit. Take a deep breath and go apologize to her for that stunt. View Quote OP will be back if he really had it that good but he probably will hold a grudge and they will be miserable in a years time. |
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Quoted: Seems silly to give that up over something relatively trivial that happened when you barely knew each other and neither of you knew if it would last. The cost/benefit analysis doesn't indicate eject View Quote I’d go with this. You’re either in an exclusive relationship or you’re not. At the time it doesn’t sound like you two were in an exclusive relationship. |
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Quoted: Been dating for 11 1/2 months. Before we were "officially" BF/GF we did a Pinky Swear that we wouldn't F other people even tho we weren't official yet. Swore to each other we would tell each other if we did F someone else as a courtesy to the other person. Last night she told me that about a month into me and her dating, she went on a date and Fd another dude. She and I had already had sex a bunch of times when this would have occurred. I told her she lied and broke my trust and our little agreement we had. Thing is, her kids and my kids have become friends and we were doing family functions together on both sides. Fing BS. This morning I ejected. View Quote You should tell him you don't want to see him anymore.....soy boi.... |
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She told ya for a reason, she was going to get you to eject or put up with her whoring. She is looking for someone to put up with her whoring.
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Sorry OP.
I had a girlfriend do that to me to try to get me jealous and go back to her. Good ejection. |
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Sorry, man.
I can't imagine dating at our age. Was there talk about the future and or marriage? If she really wanted to stay together she wouldn't have brought that up and taken it with her to her grave. |
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If she told you at the time she was dating other people it would be different.
But if you were exclusive and she still smashed some dude then you did the right thing. One thing if you two were just dating and both playing the field. But I have a sinking feeling there was more.... |
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If this isn't an episode of Jerry Springer, I'll kiss your ass.
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So you started dating and immediately began fucking, but you are surprised by this outcome?
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Quoted: Did she say why she felt the need to confess? View Quote From the OP of this thread: "Swore to each other we would tell each other if we did F someone else as a courtesy to the other person." Also from the OP: "Last night she told me that about a month into me and her dating" We have no idea of the timeline here. Did this childish pinky promise occur before or after, she had slept with other men. OP says she said it happened "about a month into dating". So.....did the agreement to be exclusive happen before or after she fucked another guy. That answer really matters...a lot, but OP doesn't feel like telling us in 8 pages. |
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I’ve changed my opinion.
I no longer think any of this ever happened. |
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Quoted: Responses in no particular order: Pinky Swear: She and I made a verbal agreement one morning not to F other people due to risk of STD. We both agreed on it. the Pinky Swear was just a silly way of sort of confirming it. Incidentally, the Pinky Swear kind of became a goofy/cute thing between us, as we both grew up in the 80s/90s. I had a year full of: Tons of sex; 2-3 times a day anytime we were together. Plus BJ on request. She was always DTF. She made 3x more money than me. Got to stay in her nice, big house and sleep in her big, comfy bed for free for nearly a year. Got to use her swimming pool, and did a ton of grilling/smoking food and partying. She likes to drink (shocking) and would always buy plenty of booze. She took me to some awesome concerts/music shows together and she bought the tickets. I moved 80% of the shit I could grab at 5am this morning out of her house. Left some clothes and a really nice navy sport jacket, but that can all be replaced. Grabbed my kitchen knives, Glock, and straight razor, and work clothes on the way out, plus my fishing bait and pet lizard. I handed her her keys back this morning when she was doing all the crying/I'm in love with you BS. No, I have not called/texted/contacted her today whatsoever. View Quote Ok so how did her telling you come out? That's the story we want |
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Quoted: Responses in no particular order: Pinky Swear: She and I made a verbal agreement one morning not to F other people due to risk of STD. We both agreed on it. the Pinky Swear was just a silly way of sort of confirming it. Incidentally, the Pinky Swear kind of became a goofy/cute thing between us, as we both grew up in the 80s/90s. I had a year full of: Tons of sex; 2-3 times a day anytime we were together. Plus BJ on request. She was always DTF. She made 3x more money than me. Got to stay in her nice, big house and sleep in her big, comfy bed for free for nearly a year. Got to use her swimming pool, and did a ton of grilling/smoking food and partying. She likes to drink (shocking) and would always buy plenty of booze. She took me to some awesome concerts/music shows together and she bought the tickets. I moved 80% of the shit I could grab at 5am this morning out of her house. Left some clothes and a really nice navy sport jacket, but that can all be replaced. Grabbed my kitchen knives, Glock, and straight razor, and work clothes on the way out, plus my fishing bait and pet lizard. I handed her her keys back this morning when she was doing all the crying/I'm in love with you BS. No, I have not called/texted/contacted her today whatsoever. View Quote |
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Good Eject OP.
People who don't want to be monogamous should not pretend that they do. |
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Quoted: Or just to alleviate her guilt by putting the stress on him View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: She told ya for a reason, she was going to get you to eject or put up with her whoring. She is looking for someone to put up with her whoring. Or just to alleviate her guilt by putting the stress on him @StevenH It would be interesting to know the reason(s) why she confessed. She seems like a free spirit so I’m not convinced she did it out of a guilty conscience. One reason to do it would be if she knew he would find out, but given the time that had passed, not likely. If she felt like she had a good thing going, why confess and risk losing it? I think this is why I’m much more skeptical of her motives. |
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2-3 times a day? I can't hardly fathom that, but sounds like she's a nympho, and if you weren't there she was seeking alternate arrangements.
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Quoted: If she told you at the time she was dating other people it would be different. But if you were exclusive and she still smashed some dude then you did the right thing. One thing if you two were just dating and both playing the field. But I have a sinking feeling there was more.... View Quote Sounds like they weren't exclusive though. It sounds like they were both still playing the field, dating other people. They agreed not to have sex with anyone else they were dating. I would have broke up with her, but would have offered her a chance to make it right by providing another woman for you to screw in a threesome Or tell her you are going to start seeing/screwing other people, but she can't until the time limit passes based on the amount of she kept the information secret. |
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Quoted: Good eject, but you must not have been "rattling her bell" if she's banging another dude only 1 month into the relationship. View Quote I used to think this, and it true, sometimes. But sometimes, the girl is just a emotionally damaged whore who can't say no to the chemical endorphin rush of taking a new dick and isn't capable of a real pair bond. |
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Quoted: Had I not found basically a unicorn (never married, no kids, no real long-term boyfriends as she had been stuck in medical school/residency/fellowship for 10 years across 3 states) after I got divorced at 30 I would NEVER have gotten married again or had gotten into another LTR. I remember looking at the dating pool at 30+ and just fucking laughing. My plan at that point was to basically have a girlfriend until she annoyed me or did something stupid and then rinse/repeat. View Quote Yeah, if you have kids there is no point to getting married again in your mid-30s. Just fucking roll with the punches and have fun. Raise your kids and keep the bitches separate from their life. Worked for me; when the women get pissed that you haven't had the kids together, blended the families, prepare to eject. I had a great relationship for 15 mo that way until she finally realized I meant that never getting married again meant NEVER . |
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Quoted: Both of us have two kids each. (I technically have 3, but one is dead). I'm 44, she is 41. No, I'm not in school; graduated college 20 years ago. Yes we did pinky swear, it was in fun and in confidence as we're both Gen X age. We both promised not to F other people pretty much right off the bat when we started dating even tho we weren't BF/GF. Yes, I fd her on the first date. and yes, I have put it in her butt. View Quote Your first mistake was thinking a 41 year old is Gen X...hate to break it to you, but you were fucking a millennial. |
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OP needs to retitle the thread:
"Girlfriend told me she slept with another dude before we were exclusive" The comments would be a lot different |
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So she got divorced and is/was making up for lost time or maybe she was already divorced for a while and had her fun, no idea. You either will never trust her again and want a clean break or you had some kind of insecurity in the relationship and this was all the reason you needed to get out. If you two really were serious there would have been or will be some kind of sit down like adults and either way the two of you will speak from the heart when the emotions chill out a bit. Better than the way it is left as of now.
My feeling about it is I don't know a lot of what happened but did you really drag your kids into her house with you and play mom and dad with someone you did not know for very long? Maybe you only have the kids a few weekends, no idea, but sorry this shit is juvenile and all I think is about the message to the kids so hopefully the message is not hey I'm hooking up with her, nope now her......... |
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Should inform the kids real father so he can get custody back from the skank.
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Quoted: So she got divorced and is/was making up for lost time or maybe she was already divorced for a while and had her fun, no idea. You either will never trust her again and want a clean break or you had some kind of insecurity in the relationship and this was all the reason you needed to get out. If you two really were serious there would have been or will be some kind of sit down like adults and either way the two of you will speak from the heart when the emotions chill out a bit. Better than the way it is left as of now. My feeling about it is I don't know a lot of what happened but did you really drag your kids into her house with you and play mom and dad with someone you did not know for very long? Maybe you only have the kids a few weekends, no idea, but sorry this shit is juvenile and all I think is about the message to the kids so hopefully the message is not hey I'm hooking up with her, nope now her......... View Quote If he has BJs on demand, gets laid 3x a day, concerts, pool, boozing regularly, and butt stuff I'm pretty sure they both get the kids every other Sunday. |
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