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Posted: 3/25/2022 10:58:21 PM EDT
So since I'm not a bloody poor (full gas tank baby), I have lots of streaming crap, including Paramount+.  Anyways, they have a new sci-fi show based on Halo.  It's a mixed bag, kinda what you'd expect when they turn a vidya game into a show.  But it has good gun/spaceship pr0n.  And they have good trigger discipline, so worth a watch.  

Here's my completely serious and much less funny than the Critical Drinker review.

Click To View Spoiler
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:15:09 PM EDT
[#1]
I wonder if Not-FredJohnson is going to have a change of heart and help James Holden Master Chief protect the Belter girl Colonist girl from the evil Inners UNSC...

Now I want a mash-up with Master Chief, Amos, and Jayne Cob working together.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:16:03 PM EDT
[#2]
Watching it now.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:17:09 PM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I wonder if Not-FredJohnson is going to have a change of heart and help James Holden Master Chief protect the Belter girl Colonist girl from the evil Inners UNSC...

Now I want a mash-up with Master Chief, Amos, and Jayne Cob working together.
View Quote
Excellent idea.  My days of not taking you seriously are clearly coming to a middle.  
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:17:27 PM EDT
[#4]
First thing I thought was they filmed in Mongolia, and brought in cheap Irish actors.

I wish they would have done a season drop so I could binge watch.

Also, should never let Master Chief take his helmet off.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:17:52 PM EDT
[#5]
I was ehhh....but I liked when I saw Pablo Schreiber was under the helmet. Liked him in 13 hours. I heard a critic who saw ep 2 say that it goes down hill from here. Would not shock me at all because.....paramount.

Not sure where unisex child fits into halo but maybe they can make it not suck even though it sounds like it will.

Effects were definitely not up to par with disney but I doubt they have much of a budget since Kurtz man has been destroying star trek for years now.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:18:02 PM EDT
[#6]
Not Earth.  Reach.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:21:12 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I wish they would have done a season drop so I could binge watch.

Also, should never let Master Chief take his helmet off.
View Quote


This and this.

The allure of Master Chief was he could be anyone.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:31:13 PM EDT
[#8]
Looks like they gave Commander Keyes and his daughter the Netflix adaptation treatment.

Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:34:02 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Looks like they gave Commander Keyes and his daughter the Netflix adaptation treatment.

View Quote
You mean Not-Fred Johnson and Not-Drummer?  
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:34:02 PM EDT
[#10]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I wish they would have done a season drop so I could binge watch.

Also, should never let Master Chief take his helmet off.
View Quote

As a die hard Halo fan I already know I'll be disappointed in it but I'll watch it when the season's finished.

I'm salty that there's not an event in Halo: Infinite for releasing the show.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:36:16 PM EDT
[#11]
I heard it sucks. The creators seemed to think it was a bragging point that they didn't play the games lol.
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:38:27 PM EDT
[#12]
Huge fan of the games and working through the novels now. I thought it was okay, but for some reason the effects reminded me of early power rangers
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:46:37 PM EDT
[#13]
I was entertained, will keep watching for now.

< played 1 & 2 nonstop through high school, 3 and 4 only once, nothing after, but still hit the anniversary editions every few years dont know what kind of halo fan that makes me
Link Posted: 3/25/2022 11:49:44 PM EDT
[#14]
The movie they did a few yrs ago was crap. I didn't expect this one to be any better.

Does Cortana take it off?
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:05:15 AM EDT
[#15]
It was okay. They need to use filters, so that it doesn’t look like it was filmed in somebody’s backyard with an iPhone.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:15:03 AM EDT
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Huge fan of the games and working through the novels now. I thought it was okay, but for some reason the effects reminded me of early power rangers
View Quote



Lol.  I watched it last night.  Wife sat down and watched a few minutes with me.  Said the same thing you did.  “This show reminds me of power rangers”
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:21:19 AM EDT
[#17]
Seems like Master Chief, the fake blond scientist, and her assistant are the only 3 white actors?  Maybe I missed some 4th string walk-on extra in the background though.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:22:20 AM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Not Earth.  Reach.
View Quote


Space Washington, to continue the metaphor.

The Mjolnir suit looks decent at least. Also, he says it’s Mk.6 armor when he should be wearing Mk.5 at this point.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:23:18 AM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Seems like Master Chief, the fake blond scientist, and her assistant are the only 3 white actors?  Maybe I missed some 4th string walk-on extra in the background though.
View Quote
There was that one Irish guy who died in the opening battle
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:28:20 AM EDT
[#20]
I enjoyed it and will give ep2 a look. I never played the game (last console I had was a Sega Genesis) but I have read all the books. I thought the CG was decent and it didn't seem overly woke.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 12:55:00 AM EDT
[#21]
I watched until the Heroes got to the cave.  Then I turned it off because it was just too retarted.  How come the Heroes bullets worked against the bad aliens, but the miners bullets didn't?  How many Marines are going to go to the writers office and beat them to death for saying Marines are pussies, but these spartans are bad mofos?
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 6:02:39 AM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
There was that one Irish guy who died in the opening battle
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Seems like Master Chief, the fake blond scientist, and her assistant are the only 3 white actors?  Maybe I missed some 4th string walk-on extra in the background though.
There was that one Irish guy who died in the opening battle


And Justin Bieber on the covenant base.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 6:51:20 AM EDT
[#23]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I watched until the Heroes got to the cave.  Then I turned it off because it was just too retarted.  How come the Heroes bullets worked against the bad aliens, but the miners bullets didn't?  How many Marines are going to go to the writers office and beat them to death for saying Marines are pussies, but these spartans are bad mofos?
View Quote

They did work if they could use enough to drop their shields. Master chief used the rebels chain gun against them, but Spartans could put on sustained fire to the elites that the rebels couldn’t because the rebels were blown to bits by covenant fire.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:04:42 AM EDT
[#24]
Is the ad free paramount+ package displayed in 4K? Because the cheap plan certainly isn't.

And since when is Halsey the mother of Miranda Keyes?
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:10:37 AM EDT
[#25]
I really liked it.
Planning on watching it a second time this evening.
My disappointment was the lack of the halo song.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:28:08 AM EDT
[#26]
First review I checked told me everything I needed to know.

The writers didn’t so much as glance at the source material, never played the games, never read the books. So fuck ‘em.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:29:24 AM EDT
[#27]
I think ultimately it's just going to keep declining. They've fucked with the basic elements of the universe/characters enough that it will eventually spiral too far from what I loved about the HALO-verse. I'll give it to episode 3, just in case they don't fuck it up completely.

A minor nit-pick; why are costume-designers completely unable to design a sci-fi dress uniform? They somehow manage to make something look simultaneously too fancy, and like sacked-ass. Are there no tailors in the future?
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:31:59 AM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I really liked it.
Planning on watching it a second time this evening.
My disappointment was the lack of the halo song.
View Quote

There were a couple spots where they had a piece of it, I think they are saving it
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 7:48:11 AM EDT
[#29]
Ok...I don't understand how the colonist opened up on the aliens with mini guns, and they had zero effect.

Then the Spartans open up on the aliens with their seemingly normal rifles and handguns, and for some reason it fucks them up.

I mean the mini gun killed the aliens only when used by Master chief...but in the hands of the colonists it did nothing.

Lame.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:02:53 AM EDT
[#30]
I never played the game or read the books but I've seen a couple videos and my kid played the game some so I don't notice the racially acceptable story changes. I thought it was ok as a show, things blowing up and lots of guns. The covenant monsters were cgi'd pretty well. BUT, why, why are the rebels in the 26th century still shooting ak's and mini guns? What, the ak's were just so good they just kept using them for like, 4 more centuries? Where's the cool future outdated commie guns. It's good to see that Chevy is still in business though?
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:07:19 AM EDT
[#31]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Now I want a mash-up with Master Chief, Amos, and Jayne Cob working together.
View Quote


Oh my God. Please
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:08:07 AM EDT
[#32]
When I used to play, the marines never lived long either, so I wasn't surprised to see only Spartans able to get kills
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:09:12 AM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Oh my God. Please
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Now I want a mash-up with Master Chief, Amos, and Jayne Cob working together.


Oh my God. Please

Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:19:48 AM EDT
[#34]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Is the ad free paramount+ package displayed in 4K? Because the cheap plan certainly isn't.

And since when is Halsey the mother of Miranda Keyes?
View Quote



Since they decided they should throw out 20 years of source material and write their own Halo story in an alternate universe....

I'm almost as let down by this as I was by the Without Remorse movie... almost.

It's "Halo" in that you'll recognize the characters, equipment, and some settings.  That's about it.  Story is all new.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:24:54 AM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
When I used to play, the marines never lived long either, so I wasn't surprised to see only Spartans able to get kills
View Quote

Except Johnson and Jenkins.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:38:13 AM EDT
[#36]
I lost interest when the writers said they didn't play the games and the shows aren't canon.  This franchise is too rich in lore and backstory to waste time with high budget fan fiction.   Something like the original human/Forerunner conflict would be amazing.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:49:47 AM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I wonder if Not-FredJohnson is going to have a change of heart and help James Holden Master Chief protect the Belter girl Colonist girl from the evil Inners UNSC...

Now I want a mash-up with Master Chief, Amos, and Jayne Cob working together.
View Quote


Well, the cast of Firefly provided voice work for the characters in Halo: ODST, so it could happen...
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 8:59:14 AM EDT
[#38]
I’m waiting for the whole season to finish so I can binge it if it’s any good. Hopefully it’s not ruined by political correctness.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 2:35:57 PM EDT
[#39]
I figured out the kid.  They're doing Wolf and Cub, just like the Mandalorian.  
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:26:03 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
It's good to see that Chevy is still in business though?
View Quote


I noticed that.  "hey, do you want props dept to make a cheap steel tubing/mesh grill for the taboe?"  "naw, just paint the whole thing in dirt"
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:33:09 PM EDT
[#41]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Looks like they gave Commander Keyes and his daughter the Netflix adaptation treatment.

View Quote

I enjoy looking at Olive Gray though

Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:36:33 PM EDT
[#42]
117 forever
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:38:36 PM EDT
[#43]
Halo died after Bungie and Marty ODonnell. Its woke and retarded now. 4 ruined the entire idea of the SPARTANs and lore they made for Halo Wars 2 that got used for 5 and 6 also made the Covenant appear retarded.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:38:56 PM EDT
[#44]
I refuse to pay for another g'damn subscription service.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:39:39 PM EDT
[#45]
I'll stick around for the next episode.
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 3:42:53 PM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Except Johnson and Jenkins.
View Quote


To be fair, it's canon that Johnson was part of the spartan-I project and had been enhanced to some degree

Jenkins had plot armor
Link Posted: 3/26/2022 9:47:06 PM EDT
[#47]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I refuse to pay for another g'damn subscription service.
View Quote


Well, you do get 13 seasons of Ink Master, tons of Amazing Race, and several seasons of Bar Rescue.  
Link Posted: 3/31/2022 4:10:57 AM EDT
[#48]
Now he dumps his armor....  


Obviously shows the writer never played the game, and don't GAF about legacy...
Link Posted: 3/31/2022 4:32:26 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I’m waiting for the whole season to finish so I can binge it if it’s any good. Hopefully it’s not ruined by political correctness.
View Quote

The poor writing is what’s ruining it, I’m still trying to give it a chance.
Link Posted: 3/31/2022 5:58:34 PM EDT
[#50]
Quoted:
I lost interest when the writers said they didn't play the games and the shows aren't canon.  This franchise is too rich in lore and backstory to waste time with high budget fan fiction.   Something like the original human/Forerunner conflict would be amazing.
View Quote

Hollywood is woke and gay, and so is M$. A decent show can't happen.
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