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Quoted: On July second, 1953, I was serving time for armed robbery.... View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: ... for littering. And creating a nuisance... The Robins Riot In Cell Block #9 |
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I’ve spent a few hours there several times 40 years ago, but never sentenced. I’m a lot nicer nowadays.
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I've put a lot of people in jail and some in prison if that counts.
Most of them were supposedly innocent or misunderstood or I was just an asshole from what they told me. A few would admit they fucked up. |
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Quoted: Never in jail or prison. I was once detained by Canadian Border Guard though. They locked me in a small room while they searched my vehicle with dogs. They told me I had been "randomly selected" for a search. View Quote I was detained on both sides of the border in Laredo. Someone called ahead and told Border Patrol that I was trafficking steroids. Of course, I wasn’t. |
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I guess I win the boobie prize for longest. 174 days FDC Englewood. Full jury trial, and full acquittal. Codefendants got from 6mos boot camp to LWP.
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The worst is going to a day of federal criminal court from there. It starts at 0430 AM and you get back at almost 2100.
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Years after all that mess, I worked for CCA here in OK. During the federal mess, I stayed four days in that CCA fed lockup in Leavenworth before being transferred to Englewood. So I have seen clouds from both sides now.
Motörhead - Stay Out of Jail |
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1 night, mistaken identity. They flagged the wrong profile of a guy with the same name. He took me in... It was cold.
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As a young man over 50 years ago I was arrested for having less than an ounce of marijuana while driving in my car. They carted me off to jail and charged me with a felony for the weed. IIRC it was,"Use of a vehicle to transport drugs." $50,000 bail. My dad was going to get me out and the cops told him it would be a good lesson for me if he left me in a while. Damn near got raped while I was in there but for a mountain of a man who saved my ass and wanted nothing in return.
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Like a previous poster said, I worked there until I could get out on the road. I hated it.
It was, in reality, babysitting adults. A small rural county jail. The cooks were old country girls that knew their war around a kitchen. I watched one fill up a large, deep, cast iron skillet with eggs. Every so often she would run a spatula along the bottom to cycle the eggs. When she finished they were perfect. They would even cook deer on occasion until the gov't said that was bad. I was so glad to leave there. |
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Had maggots in the beef and noodles once, and I shit myself in the TV room another time.
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Lockup was 2200, so I always got together with the Mexicans at the microndas at 2100 so we could make make burritos.
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After 15 years of jail ministry I can tell you this:
1. To the people who are institutionalized (meaning they’ve learned to thrive in that institution) it doesn’t mean a thing. They’d rather be in than out. 2. You never ask anyone what they did. They’re all innocent, or they are the worst person ever (or want you to think they are), or they are the nicest person ever but you’d never guess they were capable of such evil. 3. Drugs ALMOST ALWAYS have a part to play. |
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Quoted: You should write a country-western song about that. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: Had maggots in the beef and noodles once, and I shit myself in the TV room another time. Wrote a song about it; wanna hear it? Here it goes. Had Maggots in the beef noodles, oh baby Whoa yeah, done shit myself in the TV room too I'm telling you now, baby, don't go to jail for the food If you do you will soon get A brand new attitude |
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Quoted: After 15 years of jail ministry I can tell you this: 1. To the people who are institutionalized (meaning they’ve learned to thrive in that institution) it doesn’t mean a thing. They’d rather be in than out. 2. You never ask anyone what they did. They’re all innocent, or they are the worst person ever (or want you to think they are), or they are the nicest person ever but you’d never guess they were capable of such evil. 3. Drugs ALMOST ALWAYS have a part to play. View Quote I did a bunch of those workbooks from Whatsisname's outfit. Colson. I read literally every book in the teeny library. |
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An overnighter is on my bucket list. For when I'm old and it really doesn't matter.
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we got locked in the drunk tank for 2 hours as scouts once. Our troop leader was corrections and decided an object lesson would be good for us.
it worked. I have studiously avoided authority for my entire life, and I think that's where my OCD and germophobia started. That was pretty much the grossest thing I've seen. The toilet was just in the corner, you had to do your business with everyone just sitting there avoiding contact. I would rather die than go to prison I think. |
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Do drunk tanks count? I am asking for a friend.
Repairing the security system at the county jail when the electronics is across the hallway from the drunk tank and the sally port door is next to it is entertaining to say the least. |
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Currently in prison. Been to every one in the state. 0/10 fucking hate it.
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I was passed out in the passenger seat when the driver was pulled over. I did not voluntarily get in the car. We were at the lake on a houseboat and drank WAAAYYY too much. I was asleep in one of the beds and some fools decided it was time to go and plopped me in the car. (rolled me up the dock in one of those dock carts and everything).
Dumbass driver was shithammered drunk. He got popped going over 100. As the car was mine (well, actually it was my mother's company's car) I got arrested for "allowing an intoxicated driver to drive" Protip: When the cop wakes you up and asks "Son, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" The correct answer is not, I REPEAT: IS NOT "I don't know but I guess that's why I'm not driving". One of my Sisters bailed me out after a few hours. |
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Handcuffed twice, once to the luggage rack of an old station wagon, the other behind my back. Released both times with no charges filed.
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I’ve been in more jails and prisons than I can count.
Been on two death rows including inside their gas chambers. |
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Walked through general pop in a maximum security prison with my sociology class in the 90’s. We were escorted but guards unarmed. If it was gonna go down, we were in.
I went home at the end of the day with the feeling that it was still preferable to working a fast food job. |
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I worked in Records, filling those little green pages one fills out when pawning stuff (which had a surprising number of my brother’s In-Laws names), and the salley port. Patrol can be jerks to the guys that are just trying to help them.
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Arrested and spent about 3 hours in what I would call the lobby. Hoping to have charges soon.
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Toured the county jail as a senior HS field trip.
One of the girls edged a little close to one cell. An inmate apparently grabbed him a big handful of booty. I didn't see it, but heard her scream back there. |
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In my misguided youth I saw the inside of plenty of jails in the greater Phoenix area. In my misguided 20s once in Denver for four days.
Never prison though. |
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One time I spent a week inside a little country jail. And I don't guess I'll ever live it down.
I was sittin' at a red light when these two men came and got me and said that I was speeding through their town. Well, they said,"tomorrow morning you can see the judge then go." They let me call one person on the phone. I thought I'd be there overnight, so I just called my boss to tell him I'd be off but not for long. Well, they motioned me inside a cell with seven other guys. One little barred up window in the rear. My cellmates said if they had let me bring some money in, we ought to send the jailer for some beer. I had to pay him double 'cause he was the man in charge and the jailer's job was not the best in town. Later on his wife brought hot bologna, eggs and gravy. The first day I was there I turned it down. Next morning they just let us sleep but I was up real early, wonderin' when I'd get my release. Later on we got more hot bologna, eggs and gravy, and by now I wasn't quite so hard to please. Two days later, when I thought that I had been forgotten, the sheriff came in chewin' on a straw. He said, "where is the guy who thinks that this is indianapolis? I'd like to talk to him about the law." Well, I told him who I was and told him I was working steady and I really should be gettin' on my way. That part about me bein' who I was did not impress him. He said, "the judge'll be here any day." The jailer had a wife and let me tell you she was awful, but she brought that hot bologna every day. After seven days she got to lookin' so much better, I asked her if she'd like to run away. The next mornin' that old judge took every nickel that I had and he said, "son, let this teach you not to race." The jailer's wife was smilin' from the window as I left, in thirty minutes I was out of state. |
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I’m not sure how many different jails, prisons and detention facilities I’ve been in, but I’ve always been able to leave just by asking them to open the door.
The only time in my life that I was actually arrested, ended with the arresting officer giving me a ride home. |
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Several hundred times for professional reasons. But I was always taking people there, or picking them up from there to transport them somewhere else.
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Been locked in a few.
FCI Green Haven Garner Correctional Putnam County Correctional Bedford Hills Correctional Fishkill Correctional Downstate Wallkill Wingdale - scary as fuck. SingSing Could be a few I forgot. But I always got out cause no place could hold me. |
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I was with someone that got a dui. I was too drunk to walk home so i had to go down town. Cop put my friends keys under the seat so i could get it when i got out. Stayed for a few hours, got a ride to his car and drove it to another friends house…still buzzed. Just followed orders.
I dont know if i was in “jail”, just a bunch of us kids, few older ones, chicks crying. I think it was just a drunk tank. No bars. This was in my mid 20’s, about ‘95. |
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Worked on a construction project at Ft Dix FCI. It sucked, never want to be locked up, ever.
One escort guard left me alone outside with 200 dudes waiting for commissary to open. I was stuffing my tools, screw drivers hammers and stuff in all of my pockets so they didn’t steal them. They did show me where Martin Shkreli, the aids drug guy was held in the shu. He got caught with a cell phone the day before. |
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Never in jail or prison, but there was this one time I was detained by a foreign government.
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Of the many hundreds of times I have been into jails or prisons, the one that was most interesting was transporting a guy from the state penitentiary to the state mental hospital...he really was nuts.
The most funny one was picking up a guy at a county jail and transporting him to the airport to be sent to another state to stand trial after he waived extradition. He was a magician, and a really nice guy (crime wasn't anything violent..something like possession of pot in a state where pot possession was a felony). When I picked him up at county he was handcuffed per procedure, and before the county guys finished booking him out to me, he handed back the handcuffs..getting out of cuffs was his thing. But he wanted desperately out of our county lockup and wanted to be extradited because he liked the jail back there much better than our county facility. He promised he wouldn't slip the cuffs again (for whatever that promise was worth). So we re-cuffed him with a different set up of cuffs and belly chain, and leg shackles, and county sent one of their guys along too. The drive to the airport was just a drive as he was good to his promise to not screw with things, and we got him to the airport and on the plane...watched it take off and we went back to work. He really wasn't a half bad guy and was at least entertaining. |
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Been in a few of both... Not "IN" in but inside of... Anyone remember David Sweat, and Richard Matt (the two inmates that escaped from the prison in upstate NY)? Well as luck would have it, I ended up doing some work in that prison a few years ago and got to see the cells first hand.... I can almost promise you they did not cut out the back of their cells with hack saw blades either... We had to cut through many of those cell walls to install some pipes and conduits... We had access to anything and everything to cut the holes, and the only thing that worked was a plasma cutter.. I actually have a few chunks of the cell walls out back in my scrap pile, and just for shits I tried to cut it with a hack saw... I dont care how much time you have, you would need and endless supply of blades and time to even start the first plunge cut... I was also in the "center room" as they call it (the room they cut into) there is NO WAY out of that room with out keys PERIOD... and the only way out of the "center room" is past the guard stations anyway... The "official story" is bullshit.. Someone either cut the out from them outside, or they were let out..
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yea,spent a weekend in jail for contempt of court.went to traffic court,didnt like the outcome,told the judge he was a bozo,got locked up...no biggie,my prison wallet never got violated,im to ugly.
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No. But I was arrested when I was a teenager. Charged with a felony, plead out to a misdemeanor. Sealed record. No real trouble since then, besides a few traffic tickets. Well, a trespassing charge too in my mid-20s, for sitting on a park bench with my then GF, drinking a Snapple and talking. The park was “closed”, and some dickhead rookie statie wanted to make an example of us. Flew up the street with all lights off and then lit us up with the spotlight. As if we couldn’t hear and see a V8 roaring toward us on a well-lit street. Lol. Acted like he just caught #1 and #2 on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. The judge laughed and tossed the charge, and said the trooper was being unreasonable. The park bench was a few feet from the street (no fences or gates anywhere). I hope that trooper learned to lighten up, or got out of LE. Way too high strung.
Worked in county booking for a few years. Corrections wasn’t for me. I don’t know how COs do whole careers behind locked doors. It drove me crazy. |
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