That reminds me one time I was shooting the breeze with some engineers at a large hospital in Houston. They had a code whatever for missing child- I don't even think it was an L&D thing, just some kid that had gotten separated from his parents.

Even the lowest facility maintenance person dropped what he was doing and instantly took a position at a doorway.

Everyone that works in those places tends to be ultra-motivated towards patient care and safety. It's drilled into your head from day 1, whether you're a laundry operator or nurse or plumber. Shit, my first thought about everything I do when I'm working in a hospital is "will this affect patient safety?"

Simple.

Two easy steps.
1. Obtain grappling hook and rope.
2. Go watch the 1964 documentary series called "Batman".

Lol most hospitals tend to have security dogs, not sure I'd want an angry malinois headed my way

If it was a regular room in the hospital, I’d say give it a chance.
The L&D floor?  Might as well try to get into Fort Knox.
I’m a paramedic with a stretcher and they don’t badge us in.
Imagine a den of Karen’s that have security on speed dial. They have zero chill.  They also have covid precautions, so everyone has a temp check or vax card verification.
It can be done, but it will ruin your families experience if it’s caught.  

Oh.  And the Karen’s hate men.  Good luck. This message will self destruct in 5 seconds.

This ffs.

GD generally has fantastically retarded notions about breaching security, just ask Ashli Babbitt.

Florida Man, congrats and good luck.

You know, you could just wait 2 days....

Someone catches an unauthorized person around L&D, the whole hospital usually goes on lock down.  Have fun.

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Best of luck OP.

I keep an old FedEx uniform on hand just for those reasons

Check IM

This but youre trying to get into a inner sanctum. Its not just a free roaming area.  I wondered around plenty of times looking for food and got lost.

I ended up going through a connector at night to a closed area. Found two surgeons in a hallway. They were shocked to see me. I said guys Im lost. How do I get back to the food area lol. Managed to get my ass onto the surgery floor thats normally locked up with key cards. They left a door open and there I was.

I spent a year in and out of that place with extended illness with family. After a while you look like you work there. Walk with a purpose. You get stopped ask where the coffee is.

My access card is blank on the back. Emergency codes are on a second card on the same badge holder.

OP goin to jail

lol good luck.


L&D is locked down just like pharmacy. They will also arrest you on trespassing and other BS charges with a covid angle and baby angle.


<-  Hospital worker over 15 years

This....
The whole hospital will go on lock down and YOU WILL BE ARRESTED......

L&D units are locked down tight for a reason and Hospital security/Police do patrols though those units regularly.

Suit and clipboard…. If anyone asks, you’re part of the Joint Commission survey team.  NOBODY will mess with you.

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How about posing as a delivery person with some flowers, or say you are bringing donuts to the nurses.

Even pre-covid the maternity ward at all hospitals i've been to is behind a locked door. You have to use a phone or intercom and the nurse will buzz you in. So no just sneaking in the back door. They take that stuff seriously because of rando creeps stealing babies or whatever.

Don't do flowers. Every hospital gaurd desk thing probably knows the local florists and what their delivery trucks look like.

A FedEx uniform will get you in pretty much anywhere except DOD type facilities

Bonus points for putting a tv remote in a holster

What you really need to do is get ahold of George Clooney and the rest if the crew.

Yeah, I’m guessing this is a first grandchild and grandpa doesn’t understand the boundaries yet.

We usually left everyone in the dark when we were going to the hospital to have our kids aside from whoever was going to babysit for us.

One hospital we used you had to push a call button to get on the unit, state your purpose and they would open the doors.

The last hospital we were at you had to call from the elevator before you could even select the correct floor. Then that just got you into a waiting room and you had to call again to even get on the unit.

L&D units have been locked down for decades. OP isn’t going to exploit some half baked Covid security policy by dressing up as one of the village people and acting like he belongs there.

Maybe your son will bring the kid to visit you in jail.

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Watch the entire video.

Oh man, this is like a lame version of an Ocean's movie.  Love it.  Good luck to you sir.

I did. I was 22 though still just a kid myself. Had no fucking clue what was going on. Went in to work at 2am that day and had to go to the hospital at 2pm, wife was in labor for the next 4 hours. All in all that weekend I got 3 hours of sleep for 3 days.

OP doesn't seem to understand just how much the new covid rules have elevated hospital staff status and inflated their egos.

Holy fucking shit. Some of you people...

OP, you don't really need to be there. Wait where you belong, like every other non-doctor man did from the dawn of humanity until 20 years ago.

That said, sneaking in is certainly possible. No security is perfect. But it's going to be really hard and probably wind up with you in jail. It might literally be easier to sneak onto the White House grounds than it would be to sneak into a labor and delivery unit. Labor and delivery security is backed up with a fucking platoon of self-righteous Karen nurses who have spent the last two years being hailed as "frontline heroes". Their self-importance is off the charts.

You could possibly sneak in with the right mix of uniform, pretext, and tools.

A Proxmark will get you past the badge readers. Scrubs and a packet of medical reference cards on a lanyard might help you look the part. (A lot of nurses keep those being their badges, so it just looks like it's flipped backwards.) But somebody is going to recognize that you don't belong there, and then you're going to get in trouble.

A few calls to the public information office might get you admitted as a freelance journalist writing a piece about the challenges faced by health care workers during Covid.

Shit, you could probably call and tell them your seven-month pregnant daughter is going to be visiting for a few weeks from out of town and you're making arrangements for a hospital just in case she goes into labor while she's visiting, and get yourself put on the list as her one guest.

The hospital security department is probably hurting for staff like everybody else. Get hired on part-time. Then you could legitimately go wherever you want to.

Maybe you could convince them that you're an emotional support person for your son, because his normal emotional support animal won't be allowed on the floor.

All that said, it's probably easier and way less risky for your son to go talk to the docs, nurses, social workers, or administrators and say, "hey, I know you guys have tightened the rules with Covid, but I'd really like my dad to be here. He's vaccinated and boosted, he'll stay out of the way, and it would mean a lot to us all. Is there any way to add one additional guest?" Chances are, deep down they know that one additional person doesn't really put anybody at risk. If you guys are cool about it, they might be as well.

Do not attempt that.  You do not want to be the reason for a hospital lockdown.  Maternity wards and nursery areas are usually special areas of focus for access control due to kidnapping.  You will be challenged.  They aren’t going to play games with you.  There won’t be a funny haha moment if they catch you past the entrance somewhere in the hospital.  Security will be called, and you’ll be trespassed off the property.

Eagerly awaiting the "They arrested me and the jail only serves baloney sandwiches" thread.

Many years ago(pre- current restrictions) I got into a hospital on several occasions and saw a friend in a restricted area by acting like(and delivering) a floral deliveryman.

Attempt different shifts so the desk people don't start to recognize you.

We had just arrived home from the hospital, was tired, so nap time. We didn't answer the front door, so the mother in law goes around back and started knocking on the locked sliding glass door (a door wall if yer  from up north). Set boundaries...

I miss the old days. Mom goes to hospital and has a baby without a crowd present. They go home the next day and then people call ahead for an appointment to come see the baby.

Not everything needs a fucking cheering section or a waiting crowd.

Labor and Delivery is the most secure area of a hospital.  They are the one department that runs hospital wide Code Pink drills regularly.

Ehh, I wouldn't say that is true; atleast not here. I was in the hospital for a few days due to an on the job injury last February. I had so many visitors each day from the department. I would say the Class B/Badge Shirt was the key though. I also work in HEMS and wearing my flight jacket and ID card I've never been stopped when visiting family or friends. Most nurses will buzz me in when going to secure access areas when I ask.

As for OP, like other said those units L&D / Nursey are locked down pretty good. We had wristbands when I had my kid, or visited my sister in-law. You had to show the band and provide the name before they buzzed you in.

Yea, good point. OP, you're going to have to take the staff bitches out. Trust me, they're cunty. Don't feel bad, just stop the threat and feel zero remorse. You got this.

You'd be surprised. I often times work in surgery. I'll go to lunch, walk right into the scrub area to suit up,and walk right in. It occurs to me that one could just stroll in and do that because...well I just did. Thing is I belong there, what if I didn't?

Nothing and I mean nothing makes medical staff more nervous than joint commission.

Depending on the hospital you may find surprisingly tight security especially in maternity.   Where our kids were born, the babies all wore onesies that had RFID devices sewn in so if someone tried to leave with the baby unauthorized it would trigger an alarm.  They were serious AF about it.   My kid was just in the ER a few weeks ago and there was no way we were getting in without running a gauntlet of armed guards.   YMMV but you probably ain't getting in.

CODE PINK. Missing/separated child. Staff all have an assigned station to Mann.

In the maternity unit it goes way beyond that. The access control system will lock all the doors and stop all the elevators. Babies have an RFID monitor that logs the baby into the system and tracks it’s location. Go near a stairwell, elevator or unit access door with a baby wearing the chip and the system is activated. Cut the band off and the system is activated. Somehow slip the band off and loss of skin contact and the system is activated. Loss of signal from the band and the system is activated.
Security in a birthing unit is not easy to bypass including trying to enter the unit as an unauthorized visitor.

Tell them your from Joint Comission

Sounds like a way to get extra attention applied to yourself.  Joint commission visitors got a team of executive escorts all over the hospitals I’ve worked for, and everyone in their path was told to follow procedures to the letter.

OP should claim to be an illegal alien.

My kid was born last week. We had wristbands. I had to get buzzed into things. When I went to the car the guard interrogated me when I came back in. It was pretty good.

Our kid had a special band that locked every door on the floor if you got too close to the entrance and set of a hospital wide alarm.

They don't fuck around. And for good reason. The nurse told us there was a book of pictures at their station and security of people that were to be denied entrance because they had tried to take a kid from there or other places.

Also, people want visitors after the birth? You're home in two days anyway. My wife didn't even tell people our kids were born for like 24 hours.

My in laws showed up at the hospital at midnight with hours old, cold Texas Roadhouse for the two of us to choke down after our first was born at 10pm. They'd been waiting in the waiting room since mid afternoon despite me and the nurses telling them it would be a while and to go get some rest at home.

Thankfully for the second we could tell them to watch the first and they had to stay out of our hair.

Boundaries are very important. My wife will now call her mom to come over to tell the girls to do their homework instead of fighting with them herself.

Kharn

You're not wearing a uniform.  You're wearing a costume.  It's not your fault if someone sees your costume and makes assumptions.  Now if you tell people you're a cop or pull cars over or try to arrest someone, you might have a bad time.

The baby's father, sure.  Everyone else can wait a ways away and come when the mother is ready for visitors.  The only exception for anyone I can think of was when my sisters were staff and actually working the delivery.