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Posted: 3/1/2001 9:01:28 AM EDT
[#1]
I laughed till I cried when I read that Mall Ninjitsu post on Glack Talk or whatever - and some things just never change. Mall Cops - sheeeeeesh! ROTFLMAO!
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Posted: 3/1/2001 9:03:55 AM EDT
[#2]
I don't think this guy is for real. I think somebody's just screwing around trying to get a lot of replies. And it's working!
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Posted: 3/1/2001 9:39:04 AM EDT
[#3]
Dude, mall security is very real and nothing to joke about where I live. You're probably out in the sticks where nothing ever happens. I see action every day, my friend. I'm patching my knee right now from tackling some punk last night. If it weren't for rip-stop nylon in these BDU's I'd probably be at the doctor right now.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 11:03:13 AM EDT
[#4]
Ooh rah!!! I think I've found my calling!! Hell, I've always thought that most of the punks hangin' at the mall needed their saggy-pants a$$es kicked. Now I can do it and get PAID....($5.50 an hour).
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Posted: 3/1/2001 11:05:15 AM EDT
[#5]
Ooh! Maybe with a Slurpee tossed in. Gotta luv the perks!
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Posted: 3/1/2001 11:06:52 AM EDT
[#6]
I make 30 grand a year to kick ass.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 11:52:58 AM EDT
[#7]
.... ADD CHEW BUBBLE GUM....
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Posted: 3/1/2001 11:59:47 AM EDT
[#8]
Why not get on with a "big city" PD and join their HRT, SWAT, etc. and make $80,000+. LAPD is always looking for well trained and experienced people.
[sniper] |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 1:21:17 PM EDT
[#9]
Hey, this guy is for real!
I went to the mall today, and took some photos of my local mall "Tactical Response Team." After they spotted me, they rappelled down from the ceiling and shoved the camera up my ass! But I salvaged a few shots. Here they are doing underwater ops from the fountain/pond in the middle of the food court. [img]http://www.hkpro.com/action4watersd1.jpg[/img] One more of a tactical team making entry on the bathroom in response to a 14-69 (failure to flush). [img]http://www.hkpro.com/image/action2taiwan2.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 1:24:21 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: Hey, this guy is for real! I went to the mall today, and took some photos of my local mall "Tactical Response Team." After they spotted me, they rappelled down from the ceiling and shoved the camera up my ass! But I salvaged a few shots. Here they are doing underwater ops from the fountain/pond in the middle of the food court. [img]http://www.hkpro.com/action4watersd1.jpg[/img] One more of a tactical team making entry on the bathroom in response to a 14-69 (failure to flush). [img]http://www.hkpro.com/image/action2taiwan2.jpg[/img] Now that is funny!!! Great Post!!! |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:01:25 PM EDT
[#11]
[size=six]RE: STORE DICKS[/size=six]
In Florida store or retail DICKS, bank guards, armored car guards, etc. are restricted to revolvers only and 38 special ammo. The psycho profile of these people led the Florida Legislature to prohibit the use of Semi-Auto pistols by these people. Florida newspapers regularly post stories about the mayhem caused by these idiots over purloined Tommy shirts, a couple of CD's, or an item bought and paid for that set off the alarm because some idiot clerk forgot to swipe the article before bagging it and handing it to the customer. Dillards Dept. Stores had so many lawsuits filed against them, because of their psycho bounty hunter store dicks, they now employ only off duty Florida Highway Patrol Troopers. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:15:24 PM EDT
[#12]
"Best AR for 300yd head shots across the parking lot". BWAHAHAHAHAHA! You need a fuckin` reality check dude![kill]
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:24:35 PM EDT
[#13]
"Sir, Put that nickle back into the fountain IMMEDIATELY! These are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams! Don't make me put a cap in your ass!"
[img]http://www.hkpro.com/action4watersd1.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:24:41 PM EDT
[#14]
HKocher, that's basically what we do here without the MP5's. Believe me, I have had to make a surprise entry into the men's room on more than one occasion.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:31:44 PM EDT
[#15]
Just think, if we had only had him at Columbine, for the children! Is the "Special" in "SpecialForces" anything like the "Special" in "SpecialEducation"?[smash]
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Posted: 3/1/2001 2:48:54 PM EDT
[#16]
"Special" as in "Special training". I can see my expertise is not wanted here. I had hoped to share as well as learn from you guys. I guess I will get back on the beat and check back in from time to time. I will be watching though, ready to lend a hand if the need arises. This is serious $#!@ man, don't take it lightly. Our malls our safe because of guys like me. Gotta go for awhile, we're going on maneuvers tonight.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 3:17:38 PM EDT
[#17]
Hehe....you couldn't drag me back into doing security work. Lets see....I've worked armed details at a housing project in Boston, some low-end retail (men's clothing store), and some high-end retail (Gianni Versace, Cartiers). By far, the worst places I've worked were 2 different abortion clinics in the area. One of them was the one that John Salvi shot up a few years ago. I'm not here to debate the rights and wrongs of working at the clinics, but let me just say that all sides invloved in those places are a pain in the a**. The employees would walk across the street to get lunch, leaving their name-tags on their scrubs and for the life of them can't figure out how the protestors all know their names. On top of that, the employees would get upset at me for asking people if they had any "knives, mace or firearms" on them when they'd enter. Apparantly, saying the word "guns" or "firearms" is to intimidating. Then, you've got the patients who are pissed at you because they feel violated that you have to search them for weapons as they enter. (These places have more problems with patients and throwing the patients out of the building than they do with the protestors.) Then, on top of all of that, you have the protestors who just want to kill you. It totally sucked. Glad I'm working in IT now instead. Give me my cubicle, computer, and two or three times what I was making as a security guard and I'm all set.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:08:58 PM EDT
[#18]
BWAHAHAHAHHA - surprise entry in the bathroom - I hate when that happens! Konishiwa Mallishi Jujitsusan! Domo!
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:34:58 PM EDT
[#19]
And here I thought that I had genuinely offended someone.
My apology is retracted, you are not an idiot sir you are a certified slapass. I am 6'1" and 195 and I will pour gas on your kids, throw them a match, back my car over your mom and dissect her cat. Perhaps then I will come to your mall and see if I can shoplift a life to give to you. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:35:47 PM EDT
[#20]
My guess would be that you spend most your time hanging around the combination body piercing/tatoo parlor/java shop trying to impress and pick up jail bait girls/boys depending upon your mood of the day.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:51:36 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted: I am 6'1" and 195 and I will pour gas on your kids, throw them a match, back my car over your mom and dissect her cat. Dude, I don't have kids and my mom could kick your ass. Plus, I already dissected the cat. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:57:25 PM EDT
[#22]
Mall Cops??? Oxymoron.
The one possible situation that I can agree with is the local mall here have many many Gang Banger punks who hang around the entrance to the food court and watch the people coming and going. Certain instances have proved that these punks also have punk buddies who are hanging out in the lot either holding their contraband for sale or B&E into certain cars for stereo theft or entire cars. Honda Cars as well as Toyota Trucks are quite popular. But try to get these "Mall Cops" to help out with a jump start or fixing a flat....best of luck then. Railgun....[rail] |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 4:57:40 PM EDT
[#23]
Do you hear that sound???????
There is no sound, do you know why?????? Because I am sitting in the middle of your living room floor eating Apple Jacks out of your skull you simp. You spend alot of time in the lingerie section dont you? |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 7:08:10 PM EDT
[#24]
Quoted: You spend alot of time in the lingerie section dont you? Yeah, bustin' panty-sniffing pervs like you. Just don't try to leave the store without paying for them. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 7:30:40 PM EDT
[#25]
Special Forces:
You claim to be able to smell a gun from across the room... Care to explain how somebody managed to get a shot off at you and hit you? |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 7:41:43 PM EDT
[#26]
Quoted: Special Forces: You claim to be able to smell a gun from across the room... Care to explain how somebody managed to get a shot off at you and hit you? He had a cold that day... |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 7:58:56 PM EDT
[#27]
Oh, I detected that the perp was packing. But when I went to take him down, he pulled out a Waterman pen that had been converted into a single shot .25 auto and he managed to get the shot off. He won't soon forget it though, because I proceeded to shine my boots with this punk.
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Posted: 3/1/2001 8:01:27 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted: Special Forces: You claim to be able to smell a gun from across the room... Care to explain how somebody managed to get a shot off at you and hit you? He was wearing a new ninja mask and couldn't smell thru it. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 8:27:31 PM EDT
[#29]
My guess would be that you spend most your time hanging out in front of the Body Piercing/Tatoo shop trying to pick up jail bait girls or boys.
The first step in your healing process is admitting you are a doofus. That is the only way you can begin to become a normal person. |
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Posted: 3/1/2001 8:40:45 PM EDT
[#30]
Originally Posted By David Hineline: My guess would be that you spend most your time hanging out in front of the Body Piercing/Tatoo shop trying to pick up jail bait girls or boys. The first step in your healing process is admitting you are a doofus. That is the only way you can begin to become a normal person. Dude, that's twice you've said that. Is this some kind of fantasy of yours? You're twisted. Doofus? You sent in your goofy picture, man. "Go ahead mall cop, take ME down." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Who the hell would do that? |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 12:14:44 AM EDT
[#31]
Amateurs in the ways of security...
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Posted: 3/2/2001 12:55:46 AM EDT
[#32]
So basically a bunch of you people go running around in combat boots and black BDUs, accosting shoppers at will, follwing people into the restroom, kicking the hell out of supposed shoplifters, getting cut up, beat up, and shot at, and yet no one working at the mall knows that you're there. You call the cops and deliver criminals to them, and no one in authority witnesses it. You race around the parking lot in golf carts, and no one finds this strange. Regular security doesn't notice you. Shoppers are unaware of your presence.
Damn. Now that's a good trick. Right up there with the walking shrub, and the newspaper with eyeholes cut in it. I may be new to this board, but I definitely don't believe it. Frankly, I have trouble believing that the law in Tennessee allows you to get away with such things as a supposed security guard. But that's just me. Can't help that my opinions are rooted in reality. |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 4:00:17 AM EDT
[#33]
SpecMallForce,So far all you have done is answer with childish smart ass answers. How old are you? If you`re real, obviously you think you are, how about telling us about your "special training" and experience, and how you came by it? You may want to save this thread, in the future it can serve as a reminder as to how you came to leading a worthless existance. Now validate yourself!
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Posted: 3/2/2001 5:12:46 AM EDT
[#34]
SpecialForces,
Congratulations on doing a masterful job of chain-yanking some of the members here. You post some hilarious stuff. Everybody Else, Don't you know when you're getting played? |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 5:21:18 AM EDT
[#35]
I loved the "nancy, ponytail" remark.
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Posted: 3/2/2001 6:05:59 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: SpecialForces, Congratulations on doing a masterful job of chain-yanking some of the members here. You post some hilarious stuff. Everybody Else, Don't you know when you're getting played? Actually yes. But since we are all for the most part jokers ourselves, a little "Parry, Repost" is in order here. This, and another thread are totally hilarious and some of us (like me) just like to Juice Things Up a little. All in fun...Can't be deadly serious all of the time you know. |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 7:22:19 AM EDT
[#37]
Now where the hell is the Mall Ninja and Wannabe Mall Ninja to lighten things up and get things back to the fun? I think they could get some serious pointers from SpecialForces and learn a few things on their Journey to Mall Security Enlightenment.
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Posted: 3/2/2001 8:07:25 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: HKocher, that's basically what we do here without the MP5's. Believe me, I have had to make a surprise entry into the men's room on more than one occasion. They have to arrest the guys who are shaking it more than twice!![:D] Lynn [uzi] |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 9:47:27 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: So basically a bunch of you people go running around in combat boots and black BDUs, accosting shoppers at will, follwing people into the restroom, kicking the hell out of supposed shoplifters, getting cut up, beat up, and shot at, and yet no one working at the mall knows that you're there. You call the cops and deliver criminals to them, and no one in authority witnesses it. You race around the parking lot in golf carts, and no one finds this strange. Regular security doesn't notice you. Shoppers are unaware of your presence. Let me see if I can break this down where the average civilian can understand. Have you ever been watching TV and a news story comes on about a hostage situation and you see the SWAT team running around scrambling for position? You have? Well we're nothing like that. We are in the background, man. The regular security handle the lightweight crap. You know, the guys in the white shirts with gold badges and radios the size of bricks. Let me let you in on a secret. When you go to the mall, you see bright lights and large halls filled with retail stores. Did you know there are dimly lit hallways running BEHIND all the stores that connect the entire mall together? This is usually where I wait. When the white shirts can't handle a situation, then I'll be right out to mop the floor with you. So the next time you see white shirt security guards, don't laugh because they are your friend. They are a buffer between me and you. Do what they say 'cause I am always watching. This is serious $@#$ man. |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 9:57:20 AM EDT
[#40]
zzzzzzzzzzzzz, hiccup....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 10:00:11 AM EDT
[#41]
yawn...
yyyyaaaawwwwnnnn... |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 10:19:29 AM EDT
[#42]
Kihn, I think it is extremly rude of you all to ask to talk to someone who calls himself "Mall Ninja", when the real Super Mega Mondo Silent Security Tech SWAT Rapid Sniper CQB Kevlar Tactical Ninja Authorized Alert Lethal Deployment Night Stike Team Force Group Squad is right here, all in one man. I, Gecko45, am a better Mall Security Gaurd than the rest of you wanabees, including the foo' named Special Forces. I pity the foo'! You all must study more about the way of the Ninja, if you wish to be like me. Climb more walls, Grasshopper.
(Trying to make this fun again) Rule #451 of the Mall Ninja Handbook- Take off spiked tabi boots BEFORE Riverdance Practice. |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 10:37:00 AM EDT
[#43]
What do You do If Say Someone Had 10lbs Of Potasium Perchlorate and 5lbs Of Good german Aluminum Mix together And Was Wire to the hills Would you Stomp them And disarm the bomb all by your lonesome!!!
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Posted: 3/2/2001 10:54:35 AM EDT
[#44]
Dude, I've disarmed two guys with bombs this year. Bombs are for sissies that can't shoot. Giant shotguns basically.
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Posted: 3/2/2001 11:21:10 AM EDT
[#45]
Have really enjoyed this post.Would like to ask one question.Does the reflection from your tin foil hat bother you when you spring out from the dimly lit hall into the bright mall?
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Posted: 3/2/2001 12:24:11 PM EDT
[#46]
Gecko45,
I digress. I am becoming aware that I may truly be in the presence of the Grand Puhba Kahuna Master Mall Ninja himself but I have so much to learn and was really hoping just to be a spider on the wall listening and observing the teachings of a master to the pupil(s) so that I may perhaps gather small crumbs of knowledge and enlightenment on the beginning of my long journey to the First Level of Mall Ninja Training if I ever should be so lucky as to be granted an audience with the master himself and accepted into the 'official' training regime. This is what dreams are made of. [:D] |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 1:14:29 PM EDT
[#47]
Kihn, I am currently accepting discipleships from all members who are "true belivers". Simply send all of your firearms to me (I will cheerfully mail my fake FFL), and I will allow you to become my devoted disciple. It is an aecetic lifestyle(you have to shave your head, and do penance in the form of manicuring the toes of Your Honorable Master, Me. Great deal all round, there's always plenty of girls at the mall checking out the guards, did you ever see a security gaurd who wasn't lean and buff?
You have? Well, you didn't see him at MY mall! |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 1:32:50 PM EDT
[#48]
Oh Joy!!! Happy Happy Joy Joy! I must repent master for I have truly saught to deceive. The only 'firearm' I truly own is a Daisy/Crossman Col Government replica that dosen't even work[:(]. I have been telling rather large lies to be accepted on the board as 'one of the guys'. But it's in the mail to ya tommorrow! When do I start?[:\][?]
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Posted: 3/2/2001 2:33:23 PM EDT
[#49]
Quoted: SpecMallForce,So far all you have done is answer with childish smart ass answers. How old are you? If you`re real, obviously you think you are, how about telling us about your "special training" and experience, and how you came by it? You may want to save this thread, in the future it can serve as a reminder as to how you came to leading a worthless existance. Now validate yourself! Dude, I've had more training in my right hand then you have amassed in your entire life. I could snuff out a shoplifting punk with nothing more than a cigarette butt. I can't and don't have to reveal where my extensive training comes from. You come to my quadrant of the mall looking for trouble and I will show you my experience first hand. |
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Posted: 3/2/2001 2:50:28 PM EDT
[#50]
Special Forces,
Ummm, Why don't you leave that "deadly job" and get a safe one such as Police officer, Fire Fighter, or maybe Marine. As for ripping someones ears off maybe u'd better start worry about a law suit. Its to bad you didn't smell the gun that shot you. Anyways good luck with your job... [pistol] Ok you crack head, I had to come back and edit this post. You must be kidding... or 14... what the h*ll mall do you work at anyways. You sure you don't work at some abandoned strip mall that is now occupied by warring gangs... I reccomend a transfer to a mall thats still open. P.S. don't use the word civilian when you r one |
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