Drugs are one thing I don't do, Mary Lou. The mall I work at is very much open and caters to thousands of shoppers per day. As for being a civilian, I am a member of the most elite mall security team in existence. Someone with my expertise and training is far from civilian. No Police Officer or Marine in his right mind would want to do what I do every day and I do it so YOU can be safe when you come to the mall. But no, you have to ridicule people. You come to my mall talking that smack and I would lay you out like wholesale carpet.

Dude, what you do with your pets is no concern of mine. Don't ask, don't tell is my motto. And although not current, I DO have a military ID card. Between that and my line of work, I feel I have the right to use the word civilian.
If I knew how to make those little cartoons on the screen, I would make you something too, but I don't so I can't.  

Click on the "Anim Legend" under the message dialog box, choose one and cut and paste the code to the right.

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Quoted:
SpecMallForce,So far all you have done is answer with childish smart ass answers. How old are you? If you`re real, obviously you think you are, how about telling us about your "special training" and experience, and how you came by it? You may want to save this thread, in the future it can serve as a reminder as to how you came to leading a worthless existance. Now validate yourself!
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Dude, I've had more training in my right hand then you have amassed in your entire life. I could snuff out a shoplifting punk with nothing more than a cigarette butt. I can't and don't have to reveal where my extensive training comes from. You come to my quadrant of the mall looking for trouble and I will show you my experience first hand.
I guess I can rest my case as to your maturity. As to your experience and training, you said you have a old Mil ID. My guess would be you ended up being a fuckin` cook in the Nat`l Guard after bollowing the original MOS you signed for, then got discharged because you could`nt get your sad ass to drill! Where do you work? If I`m ever in the area I`d like to look you up. Always wanted to meet a "TRAINED KILLER"! Maybe you should consider BATF or FBI HRT, they seem to have a use for fuckin` goons like you. [-!-]

Listen Up crack head.
I am a Marine.  Anything you think you've done I can do better.  As far as doing things nobody would want to do in their right mind... your right because obviously your not in your right mind.  No you don't have an armed forces ID and yes you are a civilian no matter how much training you think you've had.  The only thing I think you could / would lay out is some 12 yr old girl whom shot you down.

Special Forces,
Why don't you become a law enforcement officer? I get paid more (not much) than any security guard in the area in which I live. I work security jobs from time to time when I want to make extra money, but I ususally get paid 1.5 to 2 times as much as my regular hourly pay. Do you like, or dislike, people like military and LEO's?

OK, OK. I give up. I can't do this anymore. (I don't have anymore one-liners). I like you guys and I don't want to REALLY insult you. I have only been kidding thus far. I can't help myself. Sure I rode the Mall Ninja's coat tails (or black belt if you will), and I could never compete with him, but I got 105 posts and 1600 reads! Some of you guys were hilarious. I'm sorry if I offended anyone in any way, I was just trying to lighten things up because all you usually see is SHTF scenarios or some computer commando talking #@$!. I figured I can talk some $@#! myself. Anyway, I never planned on taking it this far, but some of it was too funny to stop! I don't know if I should reveal myself because you probably won't want me to post here anymore. I used to post a little on the old board but nothing yet on the new board. I have left several clues so if anyone cares to know, check out www.ak-47.net for awhile and you might figure it out. Alright, I'm gone.

           Another MALL NINJA wannabe  

Hey SpecForc -  You're almost up to 150 posts on this thread too!!  My hat's off to ya! Do me a favor - next time you disarm someone carrying an M16, let me know - I'd like to buy the upper when your done beating the perp over the head with it!!  Am I right in my assumptions???  Do I win the prize?


[smoke]

Damn!  Ya went and fessed up before I could throw in some bait. Am I right though??

Ummmm...

Y'all should reply in like kind to this 'pore nut' This is probably the ultimate infuriating troll thread,(hat off to you for inventiveness and your 1,001 ways to irritate us, BTW), and it is obviously a JOKE! [:D]

C'mon, in case you didn't notice, this guy showed up halfway through Geck45's thread, and was also a mall security officer, with a very strong bent towards Gecko's 'tude, with a lot of extra aggresiveness, and a similar God/Warrior complex.

Chill, y'all, and try and get him to call you Nancy's again, that's the fun in this thread. Some of you are actually taking umbrage at his remarks, and I am sure some you Marines and LEO's are steaming up your monitor, reading the things he said about how wussy The Corps and SWAT teams are. He's a troll! Flame back, but don't freak out, it's a joke!

Personally, I think he doesn't have the guts to come to Gecko45's mall, and that's why he's working in some boring podunk mall trying to disarm CCW's(If that doesn't yell TROOOOOOOOOOOOLL, nothing does). What a wuss [:D]

(Tactical Nomex and Cordura on, to protect me from his next scathing remarks.)

SF, aw shucks!

You had me all excited for an adventurous new career in the dangerous field of mall specops.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

I'll make a guess: Wolfowner?

Special Forces:

You mean all this time you were just joking?

Gah! You have shattered my hopes and aspirations to become a mall ninja just like you.

Alright, THIS is my last post.

Let me tell you something, leatherneck. If you talked  that $@#! in my mall, I would hit you on your head so hard you'd have to roll your socks down to let your nose bleed.

OK, I'm sorry.    

Hey Special Forces...great job!!!!!  I don't know what was funnier your comments or see everyone else get so pissed off for real.  Come back and visit anytime.  

Gus, from this post, I think you're saying you think that SpecForces and I are the same guy.

We're not, I'm me(and a couple of othe people), he's him, and he gets all the credit for all of the freakin' funny stuff on this thread(he's right tho, he'll never be as good as me.) [:D]

I think he's Wolfowner, the badge cutout gave it away. High five, man. Maybe we should resurrect these nutty alter ego in a couple of months or so, give the new guys on the board a chance to laugh, or get steamed, according to their inclinations. It's been a blast.

Gecko45

The Genuine Mall Ninja- Accept No Substitutes for Insanity.

Oh well, the symptoms were the same (psychosis). I gotta go now, my ol'lady wants to go to the....... MALL!!!

SpecForces,
Good one,  I will never violate your mall in anyway.  

Gecko, high-five buddy. You are THE MAN and no, I'll never be as good as you were. But, I'm not Wolfowner. You probably wouldn't even remember me if I told you my original name. I would like to come back and post here, but I won't use SpecialForces unless I bring my alter-ego back because I feel it would be disrespectful.

A special apology to David Hineline. He was the best one. This guy sent his picture in! Dude, I've got some bad weapons, but not as bad as yours. I'd rather jack a bear off than fool with you. Again, I'm sorry.

SpecialForces, the epitome of stupidity      

[spank][:o]

Is it Brutus or specialforces. If we keep this thread going long enough you will respond because you are addicted to being the topic of the board.[uzi]

My personal favorite:



Still ROTFLMAO!!!

While reading these posts for the past couple of days I have been quite amazed at how sucked in some of these people were. It just goes to show you that there "is" a fool born every minute.

This has been entertainment at it's finest. SpecialForces....you are da man!

The other best one was HKocher's SWAT pictures with guys busting in for a "failure to flush"!


HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I Guess My Stomach Muscles can heel now!! This Has probably Been the funiest crap! I ever Read. You two Guys Diserve a gift certificate at The Food court In your Local Mall.

SpecialForces and Gecko45,

You all wouldn't consider a little trip over to HCI's website would you?  I bet you could keep them going for years to come.  

Great job.

Hang in there buddy...

Well, once again you guys have one for the ages here. Man this is one funny post and I can think of only one thing to add and I hope someone gets it....


Ah cha cha cha....

Can I please be a Mall Ninja too? You guys see more action than my daddy in law seen in Normandy and my dad did in Korea! God, I'm just in AWE of your SUPERHUMAN feats!!! Maybe if I start out as a  Convience Store Ninja, I could work my way up. Can you just imagine me, resplendent in my class III body armor, SWAT Tactical vest, riot gear, and paratrooper boots, as I patrol the food court. Just me, with my 50BMG caliber Glock and  .308 Ruger 1022(Super Special Custom Deluxe model with grenade launcher,and night vision scope) defending Truth, Justice, and the American Way of Free Enterprise in front of Taco Bell!!! Ahh....[heavy]

Dang it! I was hopping for a climatic ending , maybe The Mall Ninja showing up to face SF face to face no holds barred fight to the death to prove who was the supreme defender of the mall. Just think of the possiblitys(sp). Got to admit it was good for a couple laughs.

Isn't Gary Coleman mall security currently?

At one of our malls, Ralph Drabble was so bored, he tried to run stings. They would drop off a $100 49's on a bench. Some 14 year old kid with his mother picked it up to return it to lost & found.
Mall Security decended on himlike the Swat Team from "Blue's Brothers.

Well, I guess the mall is now a safer place.

damn dude, you're a beast! say, that .25 slug in your shoulder reminds me of the beer bottle twist cap i've got lodged in my ass cheek. [smoke]

I'm sure this is funny but i just don't understand.

Jake

......What's a mall?

I would like to get an application for "Mall Ninja".  I am single and ready to devote my life to being an "operator" in the mall special forces.  "It is not a job, it's an adventure."


That was some funny shit.[x]

This is some funny stuff...actually it's pretty sad...so here's my $02 cents. I would definitly have to agree with Strider on this one. I was not a MALL-SEC RAT (sorry for the term there hardcharger) however, I did work for a prominent Security firm for about a year after getting out of the Marine Corps. Summing up the Commercial/Private Security field in two words (FUCKING JOKE). [puke]

There are "NO" professions worth taking a bullet for! especially not the Rent-A-Cop profession (if you choose to call that a profession). One exception to that rule is being wounded serving in the Armed Services. Even then, no professional Warrior looks forward to or is in anyway proud of being wounded. I have a friend that recieved a Purple Heart in Mogadishu and believe me he's not very proud of it. He got "Zapped" plain and simple and it sucks. Common law in the Corps is "Let the enemy die for their country and we shall live and continue to fight for ours".

Now, taking a bullet from some 16 year old, amateur, untrained, scumbag, ghetto Rat trying to lift a pair of Calvins and being proud of it??? Thats just plain stupid!!! not even stupid, it's "EMBARRASING".

Special Forces - Where you ever in Special Forces?? Maybe a cook or leg for Delta??

If you really were in SF do yourself a favor brother...come see me. I'll get you squared away with a real job. Seviceman or not!! Im laying down the law right now.... taking a bullet or even some back talk on account of some disgusting corporations worthless merchandise is a job no one should have to put up with. If your doing it because you think your a tough guy??? Well then hopefully one of these shoplifters will be granted some marksmanship skill, pop you in your grape and put you out of your misery.

Semper-Fi, good luck and godspeed gents. And remember!! Whenever you see Mall-Sec responding to anything I suggest you DD the fuck out of there and seek cover...it may be SF in another firefight. O3'S KILL..Out [heavy]