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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:30:32 PM EST
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. Does that mean you’d ignore any warning signs since you’re taking her at her word? Sounds like that’s what you’re saying. Too bad everyone can’t know for sure whether or not years down the road someone will keep a promise. Kudos to you for choosing wisely. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:30:41 PM EST
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't believe people in a committed relationship should have private chats with people of the opposite sex. By chat I mean chit chat and back and forth texting without a specific purpose. If they are co workers, neighbors, classmates etc and there is a specific purpose or need fine. It doesn't sound like that is the case here. It has nothing to do with insecurity or lack of trust its about respect and not allowing something to start or be misunderstood. I've dealt with this. My ex was in contact with her ex and even met up in the early stages of our relationship. Culminated one night when she told me she was going out with a GF and instead went out to dinner with ex. A buddy of mine walked right past them entering the restaurant. I got the typical "What I can't have guy friends?!?" and "You're controlling!!!". I simply told her I don't play that and she's free to talk to whomever she pleases but I don't stay with women that maintain contact with past ex's and sexual flings. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:32:37 PM EST
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140.  I was fucking around before but honestly this is the kind of relationship I dream of having every night when I’m furiously masturbating into the kitchen sink 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:33:16 PM EST
[#4]
If she is not being upfront and VOLUNTEERING info about males that are talking to her over and over again then your relationship is nowhere near as strong as you think it is. If she hasn't been bluntly up front to him about being married and that there is absolutely zero chance she will ever have any relationship with him or anyone else while married, Jody is going to keep sniffing. It's HER responsibility to shut the entire friendship down the first time she even questions anything he says to her that can be construed as anything other then casual.
Single men DGAF about married women if they aren't interested in something more. Sure there are some relationships based on work, business, religion, or education but one damn well know when the other person wants more. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:33:58 PM EST
[#5]
Praying?
It sounds as though, much like Jesus Christ, he wants to fill her with his warmth. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:35:02 PM EST
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m starting to fall into the never confront a liar camp. It just teaches them to be better liars. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: So she’s not sorry. She’s sorry you have a problem with it. With a snide comment thrown in too? Your wife does not respect you. Once lost, respect is very hard to win back. Dump her or stay with her the solution is the same. You start focusing on you. She's sorry she got caught. SHe'll learn from this and make sure to cover her tracks in the future. I’m starting to fall into the never confront a liar camp. It just teaches them to be better liars. No reason to confront. An inconspicuous but well thought out conversation can usually trip up their lies. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:36:05 PM EST
[#7]
I think it's fine, esp if she let's you read the text thread.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:36:18 PM EST
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Been at each other’s throats since I got in. Trying not to give in and have a few tonight. Gonna be hard not to I reckon. Wife trying to apologize, but it’s more like “sorry you have a problem with me praying.” Told her this creep was trying to slide in, and she said I was “projecting” what I would do. The fucking best part, I saw the convo a little while ago and Jody boy wanted to meet up with her and give her some veggies from his garden. She declined and shut that down. Problem I have is she shoulda shut his lame ass down months ago when he was commenting and creeping on her profile Ah geez, here come the games.  ''how was my wife''-The Last Boy Scout |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:37:07 PM EST
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Would you want to be with someone who would ever take the ice cream? Even in difficult times? I don’t think I would. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: The thing that occurs to me is that if someone’s wife will cheat on them given the opportunity (perhaps that opportunity is a Facebook connection), then the problem exists independently of the opportunity. Put another way, I wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where the only thing keeping my wife from cheating was lack of opportunity. I read your post as if you think everything is always constant. Marriages have ups and downs. Temptations come and go. Trusting someone doesn’t mean you can’t one day see something that makes you suspicious. Nothing wrong with taking action to allay any suspicion in order to maintain trust. Like the old saying “trust but verify”. And in this case, make it clear that private personal communications with delivery men are not something he’s comfortable with. Maybe she’s going through difficulty in the marriage and this is temptation appearing at a bad time. Like being offered ice cream while dieting. Maybe cutting of the communication snaps her back into the headspace of deciding not to do anything she can’t take back. Thereby leaving the door open for better times ahead. Would you want to be with someone who would ever take the ice cream? Even in difficult times? I don’t think I would. I hear you, man but I understand that we all are susceptible to the flesh under the right circumstances. The flesh is weak given the opportunity. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:37:28 PM EST
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: https://c.tenor.com/aAsftu-ZFLUAAAAM/ron-swanson-parks-and-rec.gif I was fucking around before but honestly this is the kind of relationship I dream of having every night when I’m furiously masturbating into the kitchen sink Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. https://c.tenor.com/aAsftu-ZFLUAAAAM/ron-swanson-parks-and-rec.gif I was fucking around before but honestly this is the kind of relationship I dream of having every night when I’m furiously masturbating into the kitchen sink 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:38:01 PM EST
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. Sure. The world has lots of trustworthy people in loving relationships that are on solid footing. Awesome that it’s working out well for you. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:39:16 PM EST
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I've dealt with this. My ex was in contact with her ex and even met up in the early stages of our relationship. Culminated one night when she told me she was going out with a GF and instead went out to dinner with ex. A buddy of mine walked right past them entering the restaurant. I got the typical "What I can't have guy friends?!?" and "You're controlling!!!". I simply told her I don't play that and she's free to talk to whomever she pleases but I don't stay with women that maintain contact with past ex's and sexual flings. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I don't believe people in a committed relationship should have private chats with people of the opposite sex. By chat I mean chit chat and back and forth texting without a specific purpose. If they are co workers, neighbors, classmates etc and there is a specific purpose or need fine. It doesn't sound like that is the case here. It has nothing to do with insecurity or lack of trust its about respect and not allowing something to start or be misunderstood. I've dealt with this. My ex was in contact with her ex and even met up in the early stages of our relationship. Culminated one night when she told me she was going out with a GF and instead went out to dinner with ex. A buddy of mine walked right past them entering the restaurant. I got the typical "What I can't have guy friends?!?" and "You're controlling!!!". I simply told her I don't play that and she's free to talk to whomever she pleases but I don't stay with women that maintain contact with past ex's and sexual flings. Exactly. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:40:04 PM EST
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Does that mean you’d ignore any warning signs since you’re taking her at her word? Sounds like that’s what you’re saying. Too bad everyone can’t know for sure whether or not years down the road someone will keep a promise. Kudos to you for choosing wisely. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. Does that mean you’d ignore any warning signs since you’re taking her at her word? Sounds like that’s what you’re saying. Too bad everyone can’t know for sure whether or not years down the road someone will keep a promise. Kudos to you for choosing wisely. We can only hope. I don’t claim to know the future. But I wonder if I’ve done a poor job sharing my thoughts here, being that, to me, being willing to cheat and prevented from doing so is the same as cheating. Both actions end the relationship. So there is no “phew, I stepped in right on time before she cheated on me”. There is only “she cheated, the relationship is over” or “she would have cheated, the relationship is over”. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:40:36 PM EST
[#14]
Dick pix have definetly been sent
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:41:02 PM EST
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: https://c.tenor.com/aAsftu-ZFLUAAAAM/ron-swanson-parks-and-rec.gif I was fucking around before but honestly this is the kind of relationship I dream of having every night when I’m furiously masturbating into the kitchen sink I mean, Im not saying youre doing it wrong... but you might be doing it wrong. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:41:43 PM EST
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that’s what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don’t see any evidence The problem here is the boundary. I’m f’ing besides myself that she can’t see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he’s trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she’s naive, enjoys the attention. I don’t get it I think the dude is a harmless basement dweller with a crush on your wife. Your wife knows this and is probably too sweet to just block him. And TBH she probably enjoys the attention. You are blowing it way out of proportion. You sound insecure. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:41:46 PM EST
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Working on it dude. I'm not leaving the house though. She sure is in a big hurry to do so. She's been hunting apartments, looked at five or six so far. Good advice. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Months ago, noticed that this guy was "liking" or commenting on every one of my wife's social media posts. Asked her about it, if he knew the guy and what his deal was. Just basic intel gathering. Apparently guy used to deliver supplies to her workplace office, no big deal she said. Still kind of stuck with me, especially after he commented on my wife's pic from her Florida va vacation where he commented that wife/daughter looked "great." (No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). She showed me a video on her phone yesterday and I swiped off her app and took a quick glance of her FB messages. Low and behold this guy had chatted her up last week. I asked her about it today and she said he was asking for prayer requests for his mom etc. Sound innocuous enough, but I ain't buying it either. You want a prayer request go to church, or find a group of friends that you can pray with etc. Messaging a married woman for a prayer request out of the blue falls outside appropriate to me. Which leads me to the point or question or this, is it appropriate for a married woman to chat, or private message with another man, outside business or work related conversation? Or vice versa. Dude I'm going through a divorce right now. I announced it right around the holidays. She had kicked treating me like s*** into Top Gear for the last year. I had asked her very nicely many many times to please don't talk to me disrespectfully in front of our 6-year-old boy. She couldn't manage to do it. Okay so I'm not going to let him see me get treated like that. I proceed with divorce filing. We are officially divorced on paper October 10th. I was going to give her a sweetheart deal and give her a few years to buy me out of the house . In the last few months I have caught her staying out until 4:00 a.m. many times and sneaking in through the back door. She's a bartender but I've seen her close the bar at 8:30 p.m. and stay out and not come back until 4:00 p.m. that's almost an entire days worth of hanging out. She is 38 years old and I am 45. I promise you she is not hanging out and partying because that's not her style, I'm pretty darn sure she's hanging out with another guy. She hasn't categorically denied it but I can't get her to confess either. She says it's none of my business now. It hurts man. I think it had something to do with our divorce to tell you the truth. It's evil s*** bro. It is what it is though man. Just thought I would give you my take on it. Stop cohabitating with your ex wife. Working on it dude. I'm not leaving the house though. She sure is in a big hurry to do so. She's been hunting apartments, looked at five or six so far. Good advice. Good luck. I did it for 5-months while separated and working out the details of the divorce. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:42:47 PM EST
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think it's fine, esp if she let's you read the text thread. But, she should have this down long ago, especially after he offered to meet her, under the guise of giving her veggies. That’s the problem here |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:43:23 PM EST
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife is allowed to talk to both men and women and have a normal social life as I am. Trust is not a new concept. Men that you don't know about? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:44:02 PM EST
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her. This,BUT ,ask your wife if you can have dudes contact info so you can let him know that this bothers you and tell him to stop.Also ask her to quit gay ass facebook. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:44:09 PM EST
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think the dude is a harmless basement dweller with a crush on your wife. Your wife knows this and is probably too sweet to just block him. And TBH she probably enjoys the attention. You are blowing it way out of proportion. You sound insecure. Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:44:50 PM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Major blow out time with the wife. Looks like I'm heading out in the Daniel Boone National Forest near me and downing a pint. Fuck all this. 19 years of marriage and work two jobs to give us a good life and some dickhead motherfucker can try to slide on in using the Cross as his method. Of course, she doesn't realize that this is what he's doing and is somewhat defensive. It may be innocent. If so, she’s got no issue sharing messages and being on the the up and up. I have male friends that never cross my mind to have cheated with when I was married. They were friends. I’d talk guns and other stuff with them. Unfortunately, I do know of a very “good” married Christian man who sidelined in on a woman by being very kind and friendly. Well, things took off. So, yes, they can hide behind their bibles and crosses. Just talk to your wife about it like adults. Ultimately, your concerns and feelings should come first on this. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:45:35 PM EST
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That is Persia. Therein lies the joke. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:47:06 PM EST
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? In that case, she'd shut it down immediately. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:47:35 PM EST
[#25]
The mention of prayer indicates some sort of religious devotion to throw in another point. Reiterate to her that "thou shalt not commit adultery, thou shalt not bear false witness and something for him- thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife". Reiterate those things to her and don't let her gas light you but don't start being the ass either- that could drive her to confide with said trouser weasel. I wouldn't start any more fires but talk calmly to her and let her know as you being a guy, you know his angle isn't plutonic nor innocent. If he is saying he is praying and religious, he should understand also talking to a married woman like this isn't ok. BTW, I know its pretty weird for me to talk to anyone such as a delivery guy or woman at work and take it into my home and let it cause such rukkus. maybe her anger is the realization of what was actually going on and she is embarrassed that this weasel was gaming her like he was.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:48:05 PM EST
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I think the dude is a harmless basement dweller with a crush on your wife. Your wife knows this and is probably too sweet to just block him. And TBH she probably enjoys the attention. You are blowing it way out of proportion. You sound insecure. Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? You got her attention in the first place. Keep it. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:48:06 PM EST
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: https://c.tenor.com/aAsftu-ZFLUAAAAM/ron-swanson-parks-and-rec.gif I was fucking around before but honestly this is the kind of relationship I dream of having every night when I’m furiously masturbating into the kitchen sink What a terrible day to be literate. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:48:43 PM EST
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's a bad look. No idea about your wife - she may just be naive (with no...wanderlust on her part), but what this dude is doing is pretty inappropriate, IMHO. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:49:02 PM EST
[#29]
I'm in GD and there's no pics to determine guilt.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:50:03 PM EST
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Where their is smoke... Well, if OP is making the smoke. Sorry OP, but time to be an adult. Look at the messages. If she is right, apologize, grow up, and address your insecurity. If you have trust issues, you need to address the internal ones you have OR address the things she is or has done that justifies the lack of trust. this is just horrible advice, disregard. Men dont contact married women period. and men dont contact married women, just the way it is and all this technology makes it secretive which leads to no good Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. Couldn’t your SO murder you with her bare hands? She knows you’re not that stupid. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:53:34 PM EST
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My ex wife had her personal trainer chat her up on farmville. He was fucking her in no time. My wife says “inappropriate, period” Your wife might not be consciously doing anything, but not a good road to start down. Farmville you say. . . . 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:54:44 PM EST
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We can only hope. I don’t claim to know the future. But I wonder if I’ve done a poor job sharing my thoughts here, being that, to me, being willing to cheat and prevented from doing so is the same as cheating. Both actions end the relationship. So there is no “phew, I stepped in right on time before she cheated on me”. There is only “she cheated, the relationship is over” or “she would have cheated, the relationship is over”. I think I get you. My point is more that things can start off perfect and take a bad turn. And not everybody always keeps promises. That doesn’t mean things will always be bad or the person will always break promises. People make mistakes. People succumb to temptation. And many don’t want to start over after 20 years. They’d rather work through rough spots rather than cutting someone loose as soon as they no longer live up to a standard of perfection (eg. never entertaining some level of temptation). So responses along the lines of “you picked the wrong girl” seem to me a little too black and white. Although lots of times that’s probably true! Lol |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:55:56 PM EST
[#33]
Do you trust your wife 100%, without question? If you can't answer "Yes" to that question, 100% of the time, then you need to be concerned.
I'm not married, so I can't speak to how it is in a marriage. But I can say that if I ever had one second of doubt, I'd be setting some things in motion for security's sake. I am so against a cheater that if I ever caught someone I was with cheating, it'd be damned hard not to put all their shit in the yard and light it on fire. That may be a bit extreme, but that's how I view cheaters. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:56:10 PM EST
[#34]
Monkey.... branch.....
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:57:32 PM EST
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do you trust your wife 100%, without question? If you can't answer "Yes" to that question, 100% of the time, then you need to be concerned. I'm not married, so I can't speak to how it is in a marriage. But I can say that if I ever had one second of doubt, I'd be setting some things in motion for security's sake. I am so against a cheater that if I ever caught someone I was with cheating, it'd be damned hard not to put all their shit in the yard and light it on fire. That may be a bit extreme, but that's how I view cheaters. I'll raise a ..... "Trust but verify". |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:58:31 PM EST
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. I can't imagine how many marriages F/B has broken up. 60 year old women reconnecting with a X-boyfriends from 40 years ago  Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Ah the joys of social media. ARFCOM doesn't count. This. I can't imagine how many marriages F/B has broken up. 60 year old women reconnecting with a X-boyfriends from 40 years ago Probably about the same amount as the bad marital advice given in GD!! |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:58:33 PM EST
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. i got news for you, you already cheated. What if we reverse everything, she does what you did and he pulls out his dick and she KEEPS hanging w him, then leaves w friends. Would you feel ok, and respected by her actions? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:58:46 PM EST
[#38]
It’s not ok. You are expected to shut it down when woman messages you - she should do the same.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:59:08 PM EST
[#39]
So a random office delivery guy is your wife’s friend on social media.
Marinate on that. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:01:15 PM EST
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't believe people in a committed relationship should have private chats with people of the opposite sex. By chat I mean chit chat and back and forth texting without a specific purpose. If they are co workers, neighbors, classmates etc and there is a specific purpose or need fine. It doesn't sound like that is the case here. It has nothing to do with insecurity or lack of trust its about respect and not allowing something to start or be misunderstood. I agree completely |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:01:19 PM EST
[#41]
One positive thing though I see. If she had been complaining about him bothering her(to throw you off), that might have been an indicator of problems but she was not- it's probably she is naive and when you confronted she got embarrassed of how he outsmarted her- she won't admit to being outsmarted by a man. And her shutting down the zucchini thing was also a positive thing which looked like it crossed a barrier with her. I really think she had no idea of what he was doing until you mentioned it to her and now she is really red faced embarrassed. I'd find a way of getting her to shut these comms down but keep engaged with her. No drinking, acting like an ass or leaving her to confide on facebook to him.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:02:03 PM EST
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I think the dude is a harmless basement dweller with a crush on your wife. Your wife knows this and is probably too sweet to just block him. And TBH she probably enjoys the attention. You are blowing it way out of proportion. You sound insecure. Nope. Because what happens when the guy that does pique her interest? would she be communicating with some rando overweight soccer dad? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:02:42 PM EST
[#43]
My woman can message who she wants, doesn't bother me one bit. if they want to cheat they'll do it anyway.
If I did find out that it crossed a line though, then we are going to have a talk and I want to know why. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:04:05 PM EST
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Umm, grow up! Either you can have adult relationships or you can't. Looks like you can't. When they are "secretive", that is different. You shouldn't have secrets from your spouse. Well, except the cost of guns, but she needs to know that sooner or later. Private chatting on the side IS secretive, champ. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:04:19 PM EST
[#45]
If she prayed, why does she need to do it again? Shit. Now I'm mad at this d-bag bible thumber.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:05:17 PM EST
[#46]
Is your wife okay with you messaging or face booking single women in their 20s for prayer requests or vacation pics? See what she says, seriously? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:07:00 PM EST
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: i got news for you, you already cheated. What if we reverse everything, she does what you did and he pulls out his dick and she KEEPS hanging w him, then leaves w friends. Would you feel ok, and respected by her actions? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. i got news for you, you already cheated. What if we reverse everything, she does what you did and he pulls out his dick and she KEEPS hanging w him, then leaves w friends. Would you feel ok, and respected by her actions? People have different agreements. I imagine his girl doesn’t mind if he sees tits and takes free drinks. Others would. The key question is whether he violated his agreement, and it sounds like he didn’t. If he had, she would have reacted differently when he told her about it. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:07:26 PM EST
[#48]
I'll pray for you, OP.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:09:39 PM EST
[#49]
I've told this story here many times, but my brother, who looks like an even more retarded version of Kip in Napoleon Dynamite learned how to befriend lonely women and had many sending him checks monthly, as well as trips and in one case a brand new car. He didn't have to work for a few years. Treated these women like dirt too. Dozens of them.
I'll make this short...... It was a while ago when people were still on the older instant chat platforms. My mother would be on her computer playing games with the chat window open and random women would come on and introduce themselves as one of Asshole's friends. My mom thought it was cute that her son was online making so many nice friends. She had no clue. They would say hello and my mom would go off on what a good boy her son was and glad he made a friend online. She didn't know.....she was just being nice. He did that bullshit and used my mother to gain the trust of women. Draw from that what you will. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 7:11:08 PM EST
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'll pray for you, OP. And bring him vegetables fresh out the garden?
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