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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:59:03 PM EST
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:59:29 PM EST
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Been at each other’s throats since I got in. Trying not to give in and have a few tonight. Gonna be hard not to I reckon. Wife trying to apologize, but it’s more like “sorry you have a problem with me praying.” Told her this creep was trying to slide in, and she said I was “projecting” what I would do. The fucking best part, I saw the convo a little while ago and Jody boy wanted to meet up with her and give her some veggies from his garden. She declined and shut that down. Problem I have is she shoulda shut his lame ass down months ago when he was commenting and creeping on her profile That's not an apology. It's one of the many reasons I'm about to dump mine. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:00:22 PM EST
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My Persian ex girlfriend had a lot of the same thing going on. Yes, she was a cheating whore. Good luck.  I thought she was from Iran? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:00:44 PM EST
[#4]
Meh.
My wife has male friends that she texts, and I have female friends that I occasionally text. We all know each other. Just friends. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:01:20 PM EST
[#5]
Ah the joys of social media. ARFCOM doesn't count.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:01:50 PM EST
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I thought she was from Iran? That is Persia. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:01:54 PM EST
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This will be fun... 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:03:43 PM EST
[#8]
Seems unreasonable.
If he means nothing to her, then have her delete him. Seems like it should be “no big deal.” |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:04:05 PM EST
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ah the joys of social media. ARFCOM doesn't count. This. I can't imagine how many marriages F/B has broken up. 60 year old women reconnecting with a X-boyfriends from 40 years ago 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:04:20 PM EST
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That is a way better option then ultimatum and accusations. Have to show that you can cut the cord and Go Your Own Way like it does not bother you or is a big deal. Document everything because divorce court is slanted to strongly fuck the man and favor the woman. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: If your wife is letting another man into your marriage…well that’s on her. And that’s what she’s doing. It not controlling, it’s not insecurity, it’s highly in appropriate. If my wife did that I’d very calmly say “if you want to destroy our marriage, then continue on this path, because that is the outcome. Your choice” That is a way better option then ultimatum and accusations. Have to show that you can cut the cord and Go Your Own Way like it does not bother you or is a big deal. Document everything because divorce court is slanted to strongly fuck the man and favor the woman. Sadly infidelity means nothing in court |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:05:39 PM EST
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:10:17 PM EST
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Been at each other’s throats since I got in. Trying not to give in and have a few tonight. Gonna be hard not to I reckon. Wife trying to apologize, but it’s more like “sorry you have a problem with me praying.” Told her this creep was trying to slide in, and she said I was “projecting” what I would do. The fucking best part, I saw the convo a little while ago and Jody boy wanted to meet up with her and give her some veggies from his garden. She declined and shut that down. Problem I have is she shoulda shut his lame ass down months ago when he was commenting and creeping on her profile So she’s not sorry. She’s sorry you have a problem with it. With a snide comment thrown in too? Your wife does not respect you. Once lost, respect is very hard to win back. Dump her or stay with her the solution is the same. You start focusing on you. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:10:48 PM EST
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Would you want to be with someone who would ever take the ice cream? Even in difficult times? I don’t think I would. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: The thing that occurs to me is that if someone’s wife will cheat on them given the opportunity (perhaps that opportunity is a Facebook connection), then the problem exists independently of the opportunity. Put another way, I wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where the only thing keeping my wife from cheating was lack of opportunity. I read your post as if you think everything is always constant. Marriages have ups and downs. Temptations come and go. Trusting someone doesn’t mean you can’t one day see something that makes you suspicious. Nothing wrong with taking action to allay any suspicion in order to maintain trust. Like the old saying “trust but verify”. And in this case, make it clear that private personal communications with delivery men are not something he’s comfortable with. Maybe she’s going through difficulty in the marriage and this is temptation appearing at a bad time. Like being offered ice cream while dieting. Maybe cutting of the communication snaps her back into the headspace of deciding not to do anything she can’t take back. Thereby leaving the door open for better times ahead. Would you want to be with someone who would ever take the ice cream? Even in difficult times? I don’t think I would. I think you have an unrealistic view of human nature. IMO nobody is immune to temptation. And an initial high resistance to temptation can be weakened over time if you dip your toe in the water and get comfortable. Honorable people avoid questionable situations because they understand the above, and because they understand that even if nothing happens, the mere appearance of impropriety can harm their reputation and that of their spouse. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:11:46 PM EST
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Major blow out time with the wife. Looks like I'm heading out in the Daniel Boone National Forest near me and downing a pint. Fuck all this. 19 years of marriage and work two jobs to give us a good life and some dickhead motherfucker can try to slide on in using the Cross as his method. Of course, she doesn't realize that this is what he's doing and is somewhat defensive. Don’t go drink in these situations. Go to the gym and lift weights instead. Good luck man. I’m in the “fuck that shit” camp. Not ok. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:11:54 PM EST
[#15]
My best friend for 40 years sends both my wife and I pictures, he knows she is into photography. He and I talk everyday. He sends my wife nature pictures he sees when he is out fishing. He and his wife and my wife and I meet monthly for lunch and we are all real good friends. I will text his wife once and a while to see how she is doing. I would bet my life my wife is on the up and up, absolutely no doubt. She shows me the pictures my friend sends her.
A real close friend and former coworker is a female. She was a refinery machinery engineer like me and we went through a lot of serious crap together over the years working on refinery problems and start ups, spent many a nights together at the refinery on issues. I trust her like she is my sister. She is 62, never married and no relationships that I know about, she is 95 lbs wet and as tough as any man I know. She and I text regularly and my wife tells me to tell her hello when we do text. My last situation is I am on a group text with three ladies I know real well from church and coordinate church readings for the morning mass. I do text them regularly and always on a group text. Other than these, my wife and I lead a boring life ?? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:12:14 PM EST
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Talk to her about your fears, man. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Been at each other’s throats since I got in. Trying not to give in and have a few tonight. Gonna be hard not to I reckon. Wife trying to apologize, but it’s more like “sorry you have a problem with me praying.” Told her this creep was trying to slide in, and she said I was “projecting” what I would do. The fucking best part, I saw the convo a little while ago and Jody boy wanted to meet up with her and give her some veggies from his garden. She declined and shut that down. Problem I have is she shoulda shut his lame ass down months ago when he was commenting and creeping on her profile Talk to her about your fears, man. She’s already lost respect for him. That’s only going to make it worse. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:13:05 PM EST
[#17]
The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that’s what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don’t see any evidence
The problem here is the boundary. I’m f’ing besides myself that she can’t see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he’s trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she’s naive, enjoys the attention. I don’t get it |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:01 PM EST
[#18]
Quoted: Months ago, noticed that this guy was "liking" or commenting on every one of my wife's social media posts. Asked her about it, if he knew the guy and what his deal was. Just basic intel gathering. Apparently guy used to deliver supplies to her workplace office, no big deal she said. Still kind of stuck with me, especially after he commented on my wife's pic from her Florida va vacation where he commented that wife/daughter looked "great." (No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). She showed me a video on her phone yesterday and I swiped off her app and took a quick glance of her FB messages. Low and behold this guy had chatted her up last week. I asked her about it today and she said he was asking for prayer requests for his mom etc. Sound innocuous enough, but I ain't buying it either. You want a prayer request go to church, or find a group of friends that you can pray with etc. Messaging a married woman for a prayer request out of the blue falls outside appropriate to me. Which leads me to the point or question or this, is it appropriate for a married woman to chat, or private message with another man, outside business or work related conversation? Or vice versa. Dude I'm going through a divorce right now. I announced it right around the holidays. She had kicked treating me like s*** into Top Gear for the last year. I had asked her very nicely many many times to please don't talk to me disrespectfully in front of our 6-year-old boy. She couldn't manage to do it. Okay so I'm not going to let him see me get treated like that. I proceed with divorce filing. We are officially divorced on paper October 10th. I was going to give her a sweetheart deal and give her a few years to buy me out of the house . In the last few months I have caught her staying out until 4:00 a.m. many times and sneaking in through the back door. She's a bartender but I've seen her close the bar at 8:30 p.m. and stay out and not come back until 4:00 p.m. that's almost an entire days worth of hanging out. She is 38 years old and I am 45. I promise you she is not hanging out and partying because that's not her style, I'm pretty darn sure she's hanging out with another guy. She hasn't categorically denied it but I can't get her to confess either. She says it's none of my business now. It hurts man. I think it had something to do with our divorce to tell you the truth. It's evil s*** bro. It is what it is though man. Just thought I would give you my take on it. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:04 PM EST
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Meh. My wife has male friends that she texts, and I have female friends that I occasionally text. We all know each other. Just friends. Agreed. But I will say the difference is we (together) are all friends (the four of us). That does not seem to be what is happening with the OP, from what I have read. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:05 PM EST
[#20]
My wife is allowed to talk to both men and women and have a normal social life as I am. Trust is not a new concept.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:41 PM EST
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think you have an unrealistic view of human nature. IMO nobody is immune to temptation. And an initial high resistance to temptation can be weakened over time if you dip your toe in the water and get comfortable. Honorable people avoid questionable situations because they understand the above, and because they understand that even if nothing happens, the mere appearance of impropriety can harm their reputation and that of their spouse. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: The thing that occurs to me is that if someone’s wife will cheat on them given the opportunity (perhaps that opportunity is a Facebook connection), then the problem exists independently of the opportunity. Put another way, I wouldn’t want to be in a marriage where the only thing keeping my wife from cheating was lack of opportunity. I read your post as if you think everything is always constant. Marriages have ups and downs. Temptations come and go. Trusting someone doesn’t mean you can’t one day see something that makes you suspicious. Nothing wrong with taking action to allay any suspicion in order to maintain trust. Like the old saying “trust but verify”. And in this case, make it clear that private personal communications with delivery men are not something he’s comfortable with. Maybe she’s going through difficulty in the marriage and this is temptation appearing at a bad time. Like being offered ice cream while dieting. Maybe cutting of the communication snaps her back into the headspace of deciding not to do anything she can’t take back. Thereby leaving the door open for better times ahead. Would you want to be with someone who would ever take the ice cream? Even in difficult times? I don’t think I would. I think you have an unrealistic view of human nature. IMO nobody is immune to temptation. And an initial high resistance to temptation can be weakened over time if you dip your toe in the water and get comfortable. Honorable people avoid questionable situations because they understand the above, and because they understand that even if nothing happens, the mere appearance of impropriety can harm their reputation and that of their spouse. If you can’t expect at least that much out of a relationship, why be in one at all. I have zero need to be married. I choose to because I want to. I wonder if that is the difference. Some people are dependent on others. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:41 PM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? I'll back him up. But openess and trust is key. The last time my partner was traveling, she diverted to Miami to meet a potential customer that she has been talking to for a year or so, work related. Rich dude. And I mean RICH. Flew in from Singapore. He asked her to go back to his hotel room with him. She told him to pound sand even though it probably cost her at least a few million dollars in She called me afterwards, angry obviously that he disrespected her. ... Time before that when she was gone for a couple weeks, I was out at the bar. An attractive girl started talking to me. Offered to buy me a drink. I told her she could, but that I was not single (showed her my tattooed ring finger. She spent the night buying me drinks, played songs on the jukebox for me. Showed me her tits. When she left with her friends, she handed me her number, and told me to call her later that night. I told her I wouldn't. I burned the number (literally) and told my partner about it when she got back. ... That's just the last couple months. But similar has happened often. ... Point is, either one of us could have cheated but didn't. We've been together only 14 years... but want to make it 140. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:16:45 PM EST
[#23]
From experience, I can say that once trust begins to waver both parties need to take a step back and figure out why that's happening.
My wife has a few male friends from before she met me. Mostly people she's worked with that were married at the time. The only time she seems to hear from them is when they get divorced. Then all of a sudden it's "Oh, so and so wants to have lunch. We were just friends and he's going through a tough time with his kids...". I immediately tell her "what if one of my female co-workers wants to have lunch with me to talk about her problems?" That usually shuts it down completely. Most women are far too trusting and let their empathy get in the way of good judgement. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:17:27 PM EST
[#24]
Late to the party of course but needed to point something out.
This dude isnt even someone she worked with. Its a dude who delivered shit TO her place of work. So she either told homie the deets to find her on FB or he looked for her, found her and she accepted his request. My wife and I are kinda on a wavelength where I have zero issues handing over my phone, and she can hand hers to me. I have a few friends who are chicks who are not married and we do text and chat. All above board. My wife has a former fuck buddy who occasionally still tries to put feelers out, and he knows shes married with kids now. She tells me about him and his efforts and we both laugh at them. As far as OP goes. trust your gut. If its not active, its damn sure on the path there. I |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:17:38 PM EST
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She’s having an emotional affair. Her emotional energy goes to him. Not to you. Much much much more dangerous than a physical one. She let him into your marriage. The wife, and ONLY the wife can get him out. 100% this. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:17:54 PM EST
[#26]
Like another poster mentioned....
For women, cheating isn't just taking dick from another guy. It's the trolling for attention, flirting, getting emotional, the possible hanging out, and the eventual setting up the sexual encounter, too. It's the beginning of putting yourself in a position for it to "just happen" But even if we give the OP's wife every single benefit of the doubt, her behavior is still disrespectful. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:18:59 PM EST
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Sadly infidelity means nothing in court Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: If your wife is letting another man into your marriage…well that’s on her. And that’s what she’s doing. It not controlling, it’s not insecurity, it’s highly in appropriate. If my wife did that I’d very calmly say “if you want to destroy our marriage, then continue on this path, because that is the outcome. Your choice” That is a way better option then ultimatum and accusations. Have to show that you can cut the cord and Go Your Own Way like it does not bother you or is a big deal. Document everything because divorce court is slanted to strongly fuck the man and favor the woman. Sadly infidelity means nothing in court Pretty much correct. The only thing it will do is cut down on alimony and support type payments, at least in michigan. Like I said in my previous post I am pretty sure I know what's going on. Sure enough that I don't have to investigate any further. Scorched Earth over here, going for the house and going to write her a check and tell her to get the f*** out of my life. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:19:21 PM EST
[#28]
Generally not a good sign. Kick your sex life with the wife up a notch and do something so she knows you love and appreciate her.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:19:42 PM EST
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. Yeah we had the same deal bro. Now I get to buy my house twice. Just saying. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:19:45 PM EST
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So she’s not sorry. She’s sorry you have a problem with it. With a snide comment thrown in too? Your wife does not respect you. Once lost, respect is very hard to win back. Dump her or stay with her the solution is the same. You start focusing on you. She's sorry she got caught. SHe'll learn from this and make sure to cover her tracks in the future. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:19:46 PM EST
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that's what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don't see any evidence The problem here is the boundary. I'm f'ing besides myself that she can't see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he's trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she's naive, enjoys the attention. I don't get it |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:20:03 PM EST
[#32]
You either trust her or you don't
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:20:08 PM EST
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Part of the problem is shes a woman. They are oblivious to the real intention of all this. they think you are being silly, trying to control them, trying to pick their friends, being jealous,overreacting, being mean, embarrassing them and they knee jerk defend the weasel. All this instead of thinking this weasel is trying to ruin my marriage... You have lines not to cross as a partner in this marriage and you should simply tell him, hes not wanted . He may if hes brave say well she should decide that. You then say again I'M deciding it now FO ps be prepared for a fight from her but stand your ground All women know that all men want to get into their pants. A woman would have to be a special kind of stupid not to understand that time-tested fact that has been that way forever. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:20:11 PM EST
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that’s what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don’t see any evidence The problem here is the boundary. I’m f’ing besides myself that she can’t see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he’s trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she’s naive, enjoys the attention. I don’t get it Take your time brother. Find the root of the problem. If this leads to divorce or a happy life, neither will benefit from losing your head. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:20:27 PM EST
[#35]
It's obvious you don't trust her, for whatever reason. Given that, I say they have probably fucked in the bed you sleep in.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:21:00 PM EST
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that’s what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don’t see any evidence The problem here is the boundary. I’m f’ing besides myself that she can’t see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he’s trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she’s naive, enjoys the attention. I don’t get it Not naïve sorry. Just enjoying the attention is the absolute best case scenario. Having secret conversations/relationships with the opposite sex when married is 100% inappropriate. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:21:15 PM EST
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: From experience, I can say that once trust begins to waver both parties need to take a step back and figure out why that's happening. My wife has a few male friends from before she met me. Mostly people she's worked with that were married at the time. The only time she seems to hear from them is when they get divorced. Then all of a sudden it's "Oh, so and so wants to have lunch. We were just friends and he's going through a tough time with his kids...". I immediately tell her "what if one of my female co-workers wants to have lunch with me to talk about her problems?" That usually shuts it down completely. Most women are far too trusting and let their empathy get in the way of good judgement. That’s my wife. Far too empathetic and caring. Pray all you want, but realizing that some guys will use this angle to get in. My other point to her was— this guy needs to find a church or a prayer group if he needs spiritual help |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:21:23 PM EST
[#38]
I don't believe people in a committed relationship should have private chats with people of the opposite sex. By chat I mean chit chat and back and forth texting without a specific purpose. If they are co workers, neighbors, classmates etc and there is a specific purpose or need fine.
It doesn't sound like that is the case here. It has nothing to do with insecurity or lack of trust its about respect and not allowing something to start or be misunderstood. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:21:33 PM EST
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That is Persia. That was Persia. Sort of like calling Turkey and surrounding region "The Ottoman Empire." |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:22:46 PM EST
[#40]
My ex wife had her personal trainer chat her up on farmville. He was fucking her in no time.
My wife says “inappropriate, period” Your wife might not be consciously doing anything, but not a good road to start down. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:23:42 PM EST
[#41]
They want to bang her. She may or may not want to bang them.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:23:46 PM EST
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The responses from her to this guy were pretty lukewarm and not anything close to intimate. At least that’s what I got out of the conversation. Now, they could have went to a different medium to chat ( Snap etc), but I don’t see any evidence The problem here is the boundary. I’m f’ing besides myself that she can’t see what this prick is up to. All the likes, comments, prayer requests, offering to meet up with my wife. It seems innocent until you realize how slick and manipulative he’s trying to be. If my wife would have slammed the door on this fool a long time ago, thus would be a non issue. I wonder if she’s naive, enjoys the attention. I don’t get it Ask your wife text text him, in her own words, that she is down to hook up and ask him if he’s interested. His answer will show his true intentions. If she’s not willing to send that text she already knows. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:24:56 PM EST
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Dude I'm going through a divorce right now. I announced it right around the holidays. She had kicked treating me like s*** into Top Gear for the last year. I had asked her very nicely many many times to please don't talk to me disrespectfully in front of our 6-year-old boy. She couldn't manage to do it. Okay so I'm not going to let him see me get treated like that. I proceed with divorce filing. We are officially divorced on paper October 10th. I was going to give her a sweetheart deal and give her a few years to buy me out of the house . In the last few months I have caught her staying out until 4:00 a.m. many times and sneaking in through the back door. She's a bartender but I've seen her close the bar at 8:30 p.m. and stay out and not come back until 4:00 p.m. that's almost an entire days worth of hanging out. She is 38 years old and I am 45. I promise you she is not hanging out and partying because that's not her style, I'm pretty darn sure she's hanging out with another guy. She hasn't categorically denied it but I can't get her to confess either. She says it's none of my business now. It hurts man. I think it had something to do with our divorce to tell you the truth. It's evil s*** bro. It is what it is though man. Just thought I would give you my take on it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Months ago, noticed that this guy was "liking" or commenting on every one of my wife's social media posts. Asked her about it, if he knew the guy and what his deal was. Just basic intel gathering. Apparently guy used to deliver supplies to her workplace office, no big deal she said. Still kind of stuck with me, especially after he commented on my wife's pic from her Florida va vacation where he commented that wife/daughter looked "great." (No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). She showed me a video on her phone yesterday and I swiped off her app and took a quick glance of her FB messages. Low and behold this guy had chatted her up last week. I asked her about it today and she said he was asking for prayer requests for his mom etc. Sound innocuous enough, but I ain't buying it either. You want a prayer request go to church, or find a group of friends that you can pray with etc. Messaging a married woman for a prayer request out of the blue falls outside appropriate to me. Which leads me to the point or question or this, is it appropriate for a married woman to chat, or private message with another man, outside business or work related conversation? Or vice versa. Dude I'm going through a divorce right now. I announced it right around the holidays. She had kicked treating me like s*** into Top Gear for the last year. I had asked her very nicely many many times to please don't talk to me disrespectfully in front of our 6-year-old boy. She couldn't manage to do it. Okay so I'm not going to let him see me get treated like that. I proceed with divorce filing. We are officially divorced on paper October 10th. I was going to give her a sweetheart deal and give her a few years to buy me out of the house . In the last few months I have caught her staying out until 4:00 a.m. many times and sneaking in through the back door. She's a bartender but I've seen her close the bar at 8:30 p.m. and stay out and not come back until 4:00 p.m. that's almost an entire days worth of hanging out. She is 38 years old and I am 45. I promise you she is not hanging out and partying because that's not her style, I'm pretty darn sure she's hanging out with another guy. She hasn't categorically denied it but I can't get her to confess either. She says it's none of my business now. It hurts man. I think it had something to do with our divorce to tell you the truth. It's evil s*** bro. It is what it is though man. Just thought I would give you my take on it. Stop cohabitating with your ex wife. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:25:39 PM EST
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This will be fun... |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:25:48 PM EST
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah we had the same deal bro. Just saying. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: No need to get snarky. Yes, I am in a multi-decade relationship. It has ups and downs. But during the down times, and having had plenty of opportunity, I have never cheated on my wife. And I don’t believe she has cheated on me. In all cases, this wasn’t because of direct intervention one of us took to prevent the other from cheating. It was because we don’t cheat, even in the down times. If you or your spouse would cheat, even when things are down, perhaps you chose poorly. But beyond the actual physical act of cheating, I would not want to be with someone who would cheat in the down times. If I had to intervene and prevent them from doing it, I would still end the relationship. The very fact that you had to intervene in the first place would mean it was already over. No snark intended. You just sounded to me highly idealistic. But to be clear, you’d ignore clear warning signs or you get divorced if you saw them? To be clear, we have enough respect for each other that if we ever got to that point we would each end the relationship rather than cheat. It’s not idealism, just basic respect. I wouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with if this did not exist. Yeah we had the same deal bro. Just saying. Sorry to hear that it did not work out. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:27:53 PM EST
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She's sorry she got caught. SHe'll learn from this and make sure to cover her tracks in the future. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: So she’s not sorry. She’s sorry you have a problem with it. With a snide comment thrown in too? Your wife does not respect you. Once lost, respect is very hard to win back. Dump her or stay with her the solution is the same. You start focusing on you. She's sorry she got caught. SHe'll learn from this and make sure to cover her tracks in the future. I’m starting to fall into the never confront a liar camp. It just teaches them to be better liars. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:29:14 PM EST
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Stop cohabitating with your ex wife. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Months ago, noticed that this guy was "liking" or commenting on every one of my wife's social media posts. Asked her about it, if he knew the guy and what his deal was. Just basic intel gathering. Apparently guy used to deliver supplies to her workplace office, no big deal she said. Still kind of stuck with me, especially after he commented on my wife's pic from her Florida va vacation where he commented that wife/daughter looked "great." (No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). She showed me a video on her phone yesterday and I swiped off her app and took a quick glance of her FB messages. Low and behold this guy had chatted her up last week. I asked her about it today and she said he was asking for prayer requests for his mom etc. Sound innocuous enough, but I ain't buying it either. You want a prayer request go to church, or find a group of friends that you can pray with etc. Messaging a married woman for a prayer request out of the blue falls outside appropriate to me. Which leads me to the point or question or this, is it appropriate for a married woman to chat, or private message with another man, outside business or work related conversation? Or vice versa. Dude I'm going through a divorce right now. I announced it right around the holidays. She had kicked treating me like s*** into Top Gear for the last year. I had asked her very nicely many many times to please don't talk to me disrespectfully in front of our 6-year-old boy. She couldn't manage to do it. Okay so I'm not going to let him see me get treated like that. I proceed with divorce filing. We are officially divorced on paper October 10th. I was going to give her a sweetheart deal and give her a few years to buy me out of the house . In the last few months I have caught her staying out until 4:00 a.m. many times and sneaking in through the back door. She's a bartender but I've seen her close the bar at 8:30 p.m. and stay out and not come back until 4:00 p.m. that's almost an entire days worth of hanging out. She is 38 years old and I am 45. I promise you she is not hanging out and partying because that's not her style, I'm pretty darn sure she's hanging out with another guy. She hasn't categorically denied it but I can't get her to confess either. She says it's none of my business now. It hurts man. I think it had something to do with our divorce to tell you the truth. It's evil s*** bro. It is what it is though man. Just thought I would give you my take on it. Stop cohabitating with your ex wife. Working on it dude. I'm not leaving the house though. She sure is in a big hurry to do so. She's been hunting apartments, looked at five or six so far. Good advice. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:29:50 PM EST
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her.  Attached File |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:29:58 PM EST
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your instincts are likely correct. Listen to your gut. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 6:30:15 PM EST
[#50]
Hey man I will give you an even Keel review of what happened with me. I'd be happy to. PM me and I'll give you my phone number and we can chat. It has been a freaking disaster dude.
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