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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:19:19 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Slightly less than half the replies say this is acceptable behavior. Coincidentally, the divorce rate in this country is also slightly less than 50%. Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:19:47 PM EDT
[#2]
It’s obviously not appropriate. Ask her to block/ban/shun the pervert.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:19:56 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah gonna go with there is shit going on for sure. If she's not riding the horse yet, she's definitely taken the saddle out of the barn Dayum there’s not enough info for that. OP when a woman is politely trying to keep a guy at distance they give short answers in conversations they aren’t engaging. Also they will refer to their family in conversations when the opportunity arises. When they are the interested party they initiate conversations and/or keep them going. Which one is she doing? Is she also commenting on his posts or is this one sided? Is your wife not a fan of confrontation or is this the only guy she doesn’t address quickly and assertively? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:32 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Your instincts are likely correct. Listen to your gut. I agree. My wife doesn't do shit like that specifically because she cares about our marriage, just like I don't talk to other people's wives or single women outside of a social occasion where my wife is there or unless their significant other is a friend of ours. To me it's a simple respect issue. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:32 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Major blow out time with the wife. Looks like I'm heading out in the Daniel Boone National Forest near me and downing a pint. Fuck all this. 19 years of marriage and work two jobs to give us a good life and some dickhead motherfucker can try to slide on in using the Cross as his method. Of course, she doesn't realize that this is what he's doing and is somewhat defensive. Not to be callous, because understandably you are upset. It doesn’t mean anything unless she wants the same from him. Lots of guys want my wife, she only wants me. I’m ok with that. Hopefully your wife is the same. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:35 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's a bad look. No idea about your wife - she may just be naive (with no...wanderlust on her part), but what this dude is doing is pretty inappropriate, IMHO. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:40 PM EDT
[#7]
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:41 PM EDT
[#8]
…You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities?
Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:20:56 PM EDT
[#9]
I she works for a plumbing contractor then I wouldn't worry about the pipe he's delivering.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:21:35 PM EDT
[#10]
sure, some new age feminist types will insist it's not a big deal.
they're wrong. It's pretty disrespectful to have conversations with the opposite sex outside of a marriage or relationship. You're right to be concerned about it, but it's a conversation you need to have with the wife. Ask her how she would feel if you were chatting up some woman... not telling her about it and not shutting the woman down when she complimented your looks. ETA: this is also a conversation that should have occurred prior to marriage. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:22:21 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Slightly less than half the replies say this is acceptable behavior. Coincidentally, the divorce rate in this country is also slightly less than 50%. Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:23:02 PM EDT
[#12]
She might not be complicit, but he's definitely working something. At least from the sound of it. Unless we're really good friends or it's business related, anything in private messages would include or preferentially be sent to the husband and not the wife. That's not really a big rule for everyone, but if someone you don't know is really trying to work outside of that then they're probably a shitbird looking to move in.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:23:58 PM EDT
[#13]
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:24:09 PM EDT
[#14]
I think it is very disrespectful to "chat" and socially interact with married women unless there is a specific, legitimate reason for the contact or there is a freindship that goes back, but even then the husband should be on the chat.
I'm not saying your wife is cheating, but this guy needs to fuck off. Serious fucking weirdo/asshole. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:24:19 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. Naw...prayer requests are the leading cause. 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:24:37 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Naw...prayer requests are the leading cause. 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:26:10 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her. No. But if it bugs you she should shut that shit down out of respect My workplace operates on texting. Pace is fast so it gets shit done. Lots of women coworkers. We occasionally shoot jokes back and forth but if my wife was pissed I'd show her all the messages or shut it down to business only. No FB friends from work. Not interested in making friends there. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:26:35 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:26:59 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Slightly less than half the replies say this is acceptable behavior. Coincidentally, the divorce rate in this country is also slightly less than 50%. Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust.  Attached File |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:27:44 PM EDT
[#20]
Prayer requests for aunt Dee.
 I'd be wanting to see all of those messages. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:28:25 PM EDT
[#21]
I hope for you your wife is sincere in thinking this guy is just being friendly. He is not though, as you know. She should shut this down immediately if she cares. Good luck ..
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:28:48 PM EDT
[#22]
If she’s cheating its most likely because she’s not feeling the love at home. Husband is ignoring her, not taking her out not satisfying her so of course she is going to look elsewhere.
Hope the Op can live off of 50% of his stuff. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:29:00 PM EDT
[#23]
Well, you posted in GD so you get the blunt version:
Unless he’s your mutual friend he’s trying to fuck your wife. She may not have done anything yet, but he ain’t stopping until he gets some or she shuts him done…well, unless you’re man enough to shut it down ? If you try to shut it down through your wife, you’ll just drive them closer. You noticed the “likes,” asked the question and got an overly innocent explanation. Then you sneak a peek at the chat, and worst of all disclose it and you get another overly innocent explanation. Now they/she knows you’re on to them which will make the conversation go deeper, more secretive and most likely in person. You just did the dude a solid as he’s just steps away from the blowjob you’ve been waiting for the last month! I have some acquaintances who are serious hound dogs, love chasing women and know that they have wives and families of their own they specifically go after married ladies. Their thought is they have a lot to lose and won’t want any strings or drama. At least that’s what they say and hope for as women are prone to falling in love with the guy plowing her in the burger king bathroom just for calling her beautiful. If it’s so innocent ask him over for dinner? I’d see him and tell him to back off and act appropriately, to respect your wife and your family. Nothing wrong with men and women being friends but if men or women are saying anything even slightly inappropriate, personal, intimate there’s gonna be some fucking goin’ on! |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:29:27 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If she’s cheating its most likely because she’s not feeling the love at home. Husband is ignoring her, not taking her out not satisfying her so of course she is going to look elsewhere. Hope the Op can live off of 50% of his stuff. Or, some women just cheat. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:29:55 PM EDT
[#25]
Only if both of you are really good friends with this person, both my wife and myself have a single male friend like this.
Sometimes the wife will say or do something with the friend and I tell her maybe this isn't the right thing to do or this might not look right. So a contact every now and then would be okay with me, like someone they went to school with years ago. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:29:58 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No. But if it bugs you she should shut that shit down out of respect My workplace operates on texting. Pace is fast so it gets shit done. Lots of women coworkers. We occasionally shoot jokes back and forth but if my wife was pissed I'd show her all the messages or shut it down to business only. No FB friends from work. Not interested in making friends there. Solid post for 31,000 |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:30:35 PM EDT
[#27]
You know it's perfectly ok to have a public conversation on your facebook page. If it's too personal for your facebook page and it requires a private message, maybe you shouldn't be having it with my wife.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:30:44 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I thought words with friends was a two player game? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: yeah, it's not a big deal until you come home early and got a guy on each end of her in your bed. Shit happened to a guy I used to work with. I thought words with friends was a two player game? nah, this was years ago. The only game involved was hide the salami. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:30:45 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:31:15 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You know it's perfectly ok to have a public conversation on your facebook page. If it's too personal for your facebook page and it requires a private message, maybe you shouldn't be having it with my wife. This is a good point. Why would someone not make a prayer request to all the friends in the circle? That seems odd right there. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:31:48 PM EDT
[#31]
Hopefully it’s innocent and she keeps it that way. Otherwise, I’ve seen how this plays out. Best to ask her to please cease communication with him, as it makes you uncomfortable.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:31:48 PM EDT
[#32]
Oh boy............
In this thread we find out which men have been cheated on and who hasn't. Lots of naive dudes in the World. You don't actually know.....until you know. What matters THE MOST is how YOU FEEL ABOUT IT!! Your gut........how it makes you feel.......TRUST THAT! In the age of discrete and semi discrete messaging through technology, all kinds of shit gets started by "innocent" banter through those platforms. At the end of the day it could mean NOTHING.........but, I have known and experienced way too much in and around my life to not at bare minimum be suspicious. If it bothers you.....its a problem. You need to be completely honest and transparent about that to and with your wife. What anybody else thinks about that doesn't matter. It's not anybody else's relationship. I personally know way too many men that have been completely blind sided by their wife f#cking around on them with "friends" and co-workers etc.......IN EVERY CASE in hindsight the clues where there for them to see.......they just dismissed them as being "normal" or "my wife isn't like that".......or "I trust my wife" etc. EVERY FREAKING ONE! |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:31:56 PM EDT
[#33]
Man up and tell the guy to leave your wife alone or their will be consequences.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:32:07 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Or, some women just cheat. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: If she’s cheating its most likely because she’s not feeling the love at home. Husband is ignoring her, not taking her out not satisfying her so of course she is going to look elsewhere. Hope the Op can live off of 50% of his stuff. Or, some women just cheat. Because they love the attention and are not getting it at home. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:32:38 PM EDT
[#35]
Unless it’s business related, it’s not a good look. Even if it was, why would you interact using facebook messenger?
If she’s responding to his messages, she’s part of the problem. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:32:39 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I she works for a plumbing contractor then I wouldn't worry about the pipe he's delivering.  Attached File |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:33:15 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. Insecure.. most people are. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:34:20 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m going to be blunt- your wife is already cheating on you, bro. If there is any doubt, there is no doubt. Regarding another dude talking to her: First she’ll downplay it, then later get really overly defensive, then she’ll start projecting- accusing you of talking to other women or thinking about leaving her or cheating, then she’ll start twisting that to justify her behavior which she won’t ever fully cop up to. This exactly, all women lie, and all women cheat |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:34:38 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: ...(No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). ... It doesn't matter. They're already on FB. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:35:00 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Insecure.. most people are. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. Insecure.. most people are. I’m very secure. In fact i do a lot of texting to various women…… single, married, dating. Whatever. Many are DTF. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:35:11 PM EDT
[#41]
I talk to married women all the time; never caused a divorce.
Their husbands don't mind because I'm the guy who will tell them to stfu and obey their husband. Kinda like the Taliban. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:35:52 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: sure, some new age feminist types will insist it's not a big deal. they're wrong. It's pretty disrespectful to have conversations with the opposite sex outside of a marriage or relationship. You're right to be concerned about it, but it's a conversation you need to have with the wife. Ask her how she would feel if you were chatting up some woman... not telling her about it and not shutting the woman down when she complimented your looks. ETA: this is also a conversation that should have occurred prior to marriage. Half of the world is the opposite sex from everybody. Why would you cut off communication with half the world because of your marital status? ... If you need to shut down advances, do it. It's that simple. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:35:57 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:36:15 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m very secure. In fact i do a lot of texting to various women…… single, married, dating. Whatever. Many are DTF. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. Insecure.. most people are. I’m very secure. In fact i do a lot of texting to various women…… single, married, dating. Whatever. Many are DTF. I smell law enforcement. And they are all insecure. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:36:53 PM EDT
[#45]
Your wife knows exactly what she’s doing; she’s enjoying the attention. Right now she thinks that she’s in control of the situation and that it won’t go any farther. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. However, she knows it has the potential to and that’s why she allows it.
There’s one question glaring that I’d be asking. How’d he get her number? Their relationship seems a little out of place. I mean if they worked together day in and day out then that might explain why he has her number. However, he was just a guy who delivered supplies. I could see them being acquainted, exchanging a few pleasantries when he showed up with supplies but this seems a little out of place. I will reiterate, you wife knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s enjoying the attention. Maybe she’s in control maybe she’s not. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:37:04 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Because they love the attention and are not getting it at home. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: If she’s cheating its most likely because she’s not feeling the love at home. Husband is ignoring her, not taking her out not satisfying her so of course she is going to look elsewhere. Hope the Op can live off of 50% of his stuff. Or, some women just cheat. Because they love the attention and are not getting it at home. Or they married for security and never planned on settling down |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:37:25 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her. "Well, she got reliable." |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:37:41 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: And they are all insecure. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: …You think it’s inappropriate for a married woman to have conversations with men other than her husband outside of work responsibilities? Man some of you guys are just shining beacons of feeling secure in your relationships conversations? no, FB , INSTAGRAM PM? HELL YES. Because they are secretive in nature and allow weasels unfettered access to your wife. do you really think a weasel is going to CALL your wife 5 times a day on a landline at your home and chat? NOPE because thats puts it out in the open and spoils their game. But a text here, a like there is being in your wifes life repeatedly and quietly without you knowing.... It takes two to tango. Is she texting back? Engaging in the new found attention? It starts with her not responding to the guy. She is because she like the attention. Insecure.. most people are. I’m very secure. In fact i do a lot of texting to various women…… single, married, dating. Whatever. Many are DTF. And they are all insecure. Some are. Some are unhappy. Some are bored. Some are mad at their spouses or SO. Some are just DTF. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:37:52 PM EDT
[#49]
Yeah that's suspicious as hell and sounds like dude is trying to get something. I would hope your wife would shut this down on her own as "not appropriate" but sounds like you need to step in. Sorry OP...
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Posted: 9/8/2022 4:38:08 PM EDT
[#50]
Women who are friendly AND attractive will always have men seeking them out.
if the wife didn't mention it, she may not think anything of it.. BUT.. Why is she "FB friends" with the guy who "used to" deliver supplies to her office.. (that can't be normal) |
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