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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:10:16 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Don’t get married Also not terrible advice |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:11:09 PM EDT
[#2]
If she was barefoot, phoneless and in the kitchen, this shit wouldn't happen.
But watch out for the milk man, those guys know how to get the panties dropped. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:11:38 PM EDT
[#3]
take it from someone who got cheated on after 6 years of marriage, somethings going on. sorry dude.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:11:41 PM EDT
[#4]
I work in Healthcare... messaging another man's wife is frowned upon. Typically means you're not trading recipes
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:13:28 PM EDT
[#5]
The only thing I’m 100% sure on is that dude is interested in your wife. If she has been texting him, even innocently, then she is going down a bad road. She wants to stray but hasn’t admitted it to herself yet is my guess. Or she is too nice to tell the guy to stop. Why is she responding at all? These are the questions you need to answer. I think it’s inappropriate.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:13:42 PM EDT
[#6]
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:13:44 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:14:43 PM EDT
[#8]
There are few circumstances where my wife or I will have private conversations with the opposite sex. And both of us share access to such conversations. I can read her stuff. She can read mine.
Has nothing to do with mistrust and everything to do with protecting our marriage. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:15:17 PM EDT
[#9]
Wives should never be privately messaging any other man. If they are and they deny it you might as well file right then. She can not be trusted.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:15:36 PM EDT
[#10]
Now if it were a hot woman messaging my wife then that is a different story
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:15:56 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: YES. Platonically compatible, interesting people meet each other under any number of circumstances. The only context that matters here is OP clearly doesn’t trust his wife not to cheat on him. The question that then needs to be answered is why that is Would you trust your wife to go to Target? sure Night out with her friends? Night out with her single friends in Vegas? Night out with her group of 4 male friends in Vegas? Traveling to Spain solo for a month? Staying with her ex on a trip to save hotel money? If your answer is yes to all of those, then you're not trusting. You're ignorant and have lost all feeling and await the sweet release of death. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:16:19 PM EDT
[#12]
My wife of 21yrs is friends on Facebook with her HS boyfriend and her college boyfriend and she is a nurse!!! I bet she was alone in the room with a male patient today!! OMG!!! She must be cheating according to GD. I better stick my finger in her when she gets home just to make sure there is not any other males seed swimming around.
Good lord some of you need to chill and trust your spouse. First Hint - if you freak out every time your wife speaks to another male, she probably will cheat on you. That whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Second hint - If you don't marry a whore you don't have to worry every time she is out of your sight. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:16:22 PM EDT
[#13]
I have female friends, and my wife has guy friends. If you don’t trust her, get a new wife that you can.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:17:09 PM EDT
[#14]
So a random delivery guy from work, private messaged her to request prayers for his sick mom?
Did he private message anyone or just her? Your wife may be innocent but he sure is fuck isn’t. He’s looking for an in. Next step is the ole in and out. Your wife should have “unfriended” him as soon as he started with the comments on the bathing suit pics |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:17:22 PM EDT
[#15]
Men who let their wives travel/hang out alone with other guys are 100% going to get cucked, it's not if but when.
Look at how many celebrities end up getting cheated on. It doesn't matter how good looking you are, how much money you have, how popular you are, someone is gonna try to bang her and it will happen if you let her. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:17:28 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Edit: No it is not inappropriate. If you can't trust your wife then you don't have a good relationship with her. I'd flat tell my wife that. It's not appropriate for this guy to be messaging you. Do not entertain it. Cut it off, I don't care how innocuous it seems. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:18:06 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryGalvanized nipple. Is bravery involved? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:18:47 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:19:52 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'd flat tell my wife that. It's not appropriate for this guy to be messaging you. Do not entertain it. Cut it off, I don't care how innocuous it seems. ^ This |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:19:58 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Galvanized nipple. Is bravery involved? I was trying to imply black pipe and failed. Lol |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:20:00 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You're playing mental gymnastics. The question is easy - does the likelihood of divorce go up or down when a spouse is DMing other men on FB? The answer is even easier. If you value your marriage, do not engage in behavior that increases your chances of divorce. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Slightly less than half the replies say this is acceptable behavior. Coincidentally, the divorce rate in this country is also slightly less than 50%. Could be a lot of divorces are also caused by overbearing, controlling husbands, and lack of trust. Lol. Yeah, I'm sure women DMing dudes on FB has no correlation to the divorce rate. /media/mediaFiles/sharedAlbum/raw-355.gif The existence of someone else isn't going to make you love your partner less. If the relationship fails it's only due to the bond of those that agreed to be together. You're playing mental gymnastics. The question is easy - does the likelihood of divorce go up or down when a spouse is DMing other men on FB? The answer is even easier. If you value your marriage, do not engage in behavior that increases your chances of divorce. Why would it increase the chance? If your partner not leaving you is dependent on them not meeting or communicating with other people... that's a problem. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:21:07 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. Ya I’d have to let the lady know she either puts an end to that nonsense or has to look for another job that has to time put up with it. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:21:20 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife of 21yrs is friends on Facebook with her HS boyfriend and her college boyfriend and she is a nurse!!! I bet she was alone in the room with a male patient today!! OMG!!! She must be cheating according to GD. I better stick my finger in her when she gets home just to make sure there is not any other males seed swimming around. Good lord some of you need to chill and trust your spouse. First Hint - if you freak out every time your wife speaks to another male, she probably will cheat on you. That whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Second hint - If you don't marry a whore you don't have to worry every time she is out of your sight. It'd be foolish not to. Daily seed checks. Need to add that to my tinder profile.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:21:29 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. Were you jerking off while talking to her? |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:22:06 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So a random delivery guy from work, private messaged her to request prayers for his sick mom? Did he private message anyone or just her? Your wife may be innocent but he sure is fuck isn’t. He’s looking for an in. Next step is the ole in and out. Your wife should have “unfriended” him as soon as he started with the comments on the bathing suit pics yep, because they do it in degrees, prayer request, then maybe a like, then a you look nice today, that bathing suit flatters you, are you feeling ok today then down the line , like reeling in a fish, Women can do it to men but they are much faster always with the hint of sex... |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:22:52 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It'd be foolish not to. Daily seed checks. Need to add that to my tinder profile.  Attached File |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:23:06 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have female friends, and my wife has guy friends. If you don’t trust her, get a new wife that you can. This. It sounds like OP and his wife have bigger fish to fry than just this guy DMing OP's wife. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:23:47 PM EDT
[#28]
Women seek validation and it's what he's doing. I'm not saying put a tracker on her car, but her going along with it is reason to question. As for trust. Trust people to be themselves.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:24:54 PM EDT
[#29]
Start documenting EVERYTHING!
I am coldhearted so do not take my advice on what you should do but you need to cut her off NO DICK! |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:25:01 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Were you jerking off while talking to her? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. Were you jerking off while talking to her? No. But I am right now. 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:25:43 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? That's really weird. Work is work. Keep it to work, sex doesn't matter. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:25:54 PM EDT
[#32]
heres the deal. we are all guys here.
we do not give another woman the attention (liking pictures, sliding into DM's) unless we are either A. trying to get into her pants B. already got into her pants C. still getting into her pants. All of which are bad. so those are your options. from my experience, hes already laying pipe. but please keep us updated. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:26:16 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. It sounds like OP and his wife have bigger fish to fry than just this guy DMing OP's wife. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I have female friends, and my wife has guy friends. If you don’t trust her, get a new wife that you can. This. It sounds like OP and his wife have bigger fish to fry than just this guy DMing OP's wife. Similar. I see nothing wrong with her actions in a vacuum. But he doesn't trust her. That's a separate issue. Maybe her fault. Maybe his. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:26:21 PM EDT
[#34]
Even after retirement 4 years ago I still keep in touch with a lot of former employees. We had to go through a lot of career choices and life decisions together while trying to build a new company. Many of them made their careers on what I taught them. Half of them are females. Most are married.
However I do have to say that I have met most of their husbands at various company functions and they know who I am. Speaking only of the females because they worked for me, we are still in similar fields and even end up at out of town conferences staying in the same hotel. We have drinks/dinner and it's harmless. I want to know how my former employees' careers are headed and how their kids have grown up since I saw them last. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:27:02 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It'd be foolish not to. Daily seed checks. Need to add that to my tinder profile. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: My wife of 21yrs is friends on Facebook with her HS boyfriend and her college boyfriend and she is a nurse!!! I bet she was alone in the room with a male patient today!! OMG!!! She must be cheating according to GD. I better stick my finger in her when she gets home just to make sure there is not any other males seed swimming around. Good lord some of you need to chill and trust your spouse. First Hint - if you freak out every time your wife speaks to another male, she probably will cheat on you. That whole self-fulfilling prophecy thing. Second hint - If you don't marry a whore you don't have to worry every time she is out of your sight. It'd be foolish not to. Daily seed checks. Need to add that to my tinder profile. His wife married the creep, he doesn't need to worry. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:27:19 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: heres the deal. we are all guys here. we do not give another woman the attention (liking pictures, sliding into DM's) unless we are either A. trying to get into her pants B. already got into her pants C. still getting into her pants. All of which are bad. so those are your options. from my experience, hes already laying pipe. but please keep us updated. D. Find her interesting and enjoy her company / friendship / conversation. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:28:21 PM EDT
[#37]
If that chick don't wanna know forget her.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:28:37 PM EDT
[#38]
Facebook ya say??
Yeah - fuck all that. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:28:41 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Would you trust your wife to go to Target? sure Night out with her friends? Night out with her single friends in Vegas? Night out with her group of 4 male friends in Vegas? Traveling to Spain solo for a month? Staying with her ex on a trip to save hotel money? If your answer is yes to all of those, then you're not trusting. You're ignorant and have lost all feeling and await the sweet release of death. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: YES. Platonically compatible, interesting people meet each other under any number of circumstances. The only context that matters here is OP clearly doesn’t trust his wife not to cheat on him. The question that then needs to be answered is why that is Would you trust your wife to go to Target? sure Night out with her friends? Night out with her single friends in Vegas? Night out with her group of 4 male friends in Vegas? Traveling to Spain solo for a month? Staying with her ex on a trip to save hotel money? If your answer is yes to all of those, then you're not trusting. You're ignorant and have lost all feeling and await the sweet release of death. 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:28:43 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife will not friend any men on Facebook. She considers it to be playing with fire. We give each other passwords to our accounts and phones. If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. I didn't ask for any of this, but wife came from a previous marriage where her husband cheated, so we just agreed on ground rules and both follow them. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:28:48 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ya I’d have to let the lady know she either puts an end to that nonsense or has to look for another job that has to time put up with it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. Ya I’d have to let the lady know she either puts an end to that nonsense or has to look for another job that has to time put up with it. I joked with her manager one day that the lady liked smoking so much her smoke breaks were practically on schedule. The manager said they really are on a schedule because her husband knows when she'll be away from the phone. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:29:07 PM EDT
[#42]
Quoted: Months ago, noticed that this guy was "liking" or commenting on every one of my wife's social media posts. Asked her about it, if he knew the guy and what his deal was. Just basic intel gathering. Apparently guy used to deliver supplies to her workplace office, no big deal she said. Still kind of stuck with me, especially after he commented on my wife's pic from her Florida va vacation where he commented that wife/daughter looked "great." (No, not posting wife pics today, fellas). She showed me a video on her phone yesterday and I swiped off her app and took a quick glance of her FB messages. Low and behold this guy had chatted her up last week. I asked her about it today and she said he was asking for prayer requests for his mom etc. Sound innocuous enough, but I ain't buying it either. You want a prayer request go to church, or find a group of friends that you can pray with etc. Messaging a married woman for a prayer request out of the blue falls outside appropriate to me. Which leads me to the point or question or this, is it appropriate for a married woman to chat, or private message with another man, outside business or work related conversation? Or vice versa. Why is wife sharing vacation pictures with a basic stranger? Does your wife share pictures of your daughter with everyone? With all the perverts out there we don't show pictures of our kids on the internet ever. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:29:11 PM EDT
[#43]
Call me too strict, but in my marriage I choose the extra participants, not her. Certainly ain't gonna be no chump sliding into her DMs.
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:29:15 PM EDT
[#44]
I’ll say this…it’s PM for a reason. Why isn’t it publicly posted? Because he or she OR BOTH wanted it that way.
ETA: Maybe she isn’t seeing anymore into it than just sending some thoughts and prayers and it goes no further. Maybe she enjoys the attention and it goes no further. Or maybe it doesn’t. Best to calmly talk to her about your concerns and expectations and then listen to her side of it. If she respects you, she’ll listen. If you respect her, you’ll listen. Either way the PM bullshit is a no-go. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:29:23 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: If she texts a dude, even for her job, she puts me on the text. Ok that’s just weird. What about email? Do you get BCC’d on every work email where she has to communicate with a man? I have to communicate with the office girls all day long via texting on company devices. I don’t take them to lunch and we only communicate about work and during work. Why not just have her stay home and locked in the kitchen to avoid temptation? I work with a lady that talks to her husband on the phone all the way to work, then he calls her work phone right after she says I'm at work and hangs up her cell phone. He randomly calls her work phone throughout the day to make sure she's still there. I used to work with a guy that would travel between locations and spend an hour or two inside at each one. His GF sat in the running car so he knew where she was. I don't understand how either side lives like that. That’s weird. A lot of the shit in this thread is weird. I would never be married to someone I couldn’t trust. If I ever decide I can’t trust my wife, I’ll end the marriage. I won’t follow her around and monitor her. She’s a wife, not a prisoner. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:29:46 PM EDT
[#46]
Guy's who don't give a shit.
Guy's who are control freaks. Guy's who say she's getting laid on the side. Guy's like me thinking this thread is hilarious 
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:30:39 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: D. Find her interesting and enjoy her company / friendship / conversation. that literally does not happen. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:30:55 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Where their is smoke... Well, if OP is making the smoke. Sorry OP, but time to be an adult. Look at the messages. If she is right, apologize, grow up, and address your insecurity. If you have trust issues, you need to address the internal ones you have OR address the things she is or has done that justifies the lack of trust. this is just horrible advice, disregard. Men dont contact married women period. and men dont contact married women, just the way it is and all this technology makes it secretive which leads to no good Meh, I just got off a 20 minute phone call with a married friend of mine. No one died. |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:32:16 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: that literally does not happen. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: D. Find her interesting and enjoy her company / friendship / conversation. that literally does not happen. Only if they caught the gheys... |
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Posted: 9/8/2022 5:33:01 PM EDT
[#50]
Definitely out of bounds. Might be innocuous but this is how something starts. I would tell the wife to put an end to it and block the guy.
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