Parents do you spank your kids or use another form of discipline? - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Parents do you spank your kids or use another form of discipline? (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:28:18 AM EDT

[#1]

No spanking yet, twin toddlers, hopefully never have to. I have squeezed their cheeks to the point that whatever behavior was going on that made me do it, stopped. Doesn't take much.

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:31:54 AM EDT

[#2]

We employ all types of punishment depending on the severity of the offense and what we feel will be most effective. My daughter went through a phase where she received a spanking nearly every single day. She's 8 now and I can't even remember the last spanking she needed. The boy is 2 and isn't ready for spankings yet, but he's getting close.

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:33:24 AM EDT

[#3]

Me....I got whipped with the belt that was above the refrigerator when Mom got pissed. Never dad...always mom-and look how I turned out.

With two children 5 years apart we* used two different approaches. First child (a boy) when he was OPENLY DEFIANT got a swat or two on his rump. There were long talks afterwards about the why this happened. It was never done angry and he knew why it was happening.
Second Child (a girl) pretty much got away with what ever she wanted to do.....and was sent to her room. She had a different personality and we treated her accordingly.

Want to guess the life outcomes of these two? **

Son is respectful and serving his country. (Conservative)
Daughter is a petulant spoiled brat.....a pretty smart one.....but entitled and mouthy. (Commie Lib)

**YMMV Don't even start. If I got the chance to do things differently I would.
* Now Divorced

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:35:01 AM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:
Me....I got whipped with the belt that was above the refrigerator when Mom got pissed. Never dad...always mom-and look how I turned out.

With two children 5 years apart we* used two different approaches. First child (a boy) when he was OPENLY DEFIANT got a swat or two on his rump. There were long talks afterwards about the why this happened. It was never done angry and he knew why it was happening.
Second Child (a girl) pretty much got away with what ever she wanted to do.....and was sent to her room. She had a different personality and we treated her accordingly.

Want to guess the life outcomes of these two? **

Son is respectful and serving his country. (Conservative)
Daughter is a petulant spoiled brat.....a pretty smart one.....but entitled and mouthy. (Commie Lib)

**YMMV Don't even start. If I got the chance to do things differently I would.
* Now Divorced

View Quote

Pics of daughter?

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:38:50 AM EDT

[#5]

We spank, use time outs and take away priveleges for our 3 year old, depending on the circumstances and his actions. Sometimes a good spanking is needed to disrupt his tantrum. It's like a switch is thrown sometimes when he gets the spanking and his behavior is instantly changed, where the timeouts sometimes work, sometimes don't. We always let him know why he is getting the spanking and have him repeat that reason back to us. We try to never spank in anger also.

All the tools in a parents arsenal need to be utilized, I believe, to properly raise a child.

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:51:36 AM EDT

[#6]

I have spanked all of my kids, but only once or twice each, and that was for actions that required immediate correction, as they were immediately dangerous (running into a busy road, hiding from me for fun in a mall, that sort of thing)

I realized that they were all very different early on, and have them figured out as to what works with each. Things such as locking one out of wifi, fining one of a few dollars from their savings, or making one stay indoors for a few days are very effective, along with a discussion on why. All of my kids remember their spanks, and they know that any overt disrespect to my wife or I would net a good whooping, so, they don't disrespect us. I would not spank, or strike a kid of the ages they have grown to, but the idea that I might keeps them pretty line until they form the habit of disagreeing respectfully with us.

I am happy with how they are doing, and I rarely have to correct them beyond a raised eyebrow. :)

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:54:49 AM EDT

[#7]

Spare the rod spoil the child.

To be honest, though, I haven't had to do that but a couple of times to my boys.

Posted: 1/31/2014 4:58:37 AM EDT

[#8]

I find spanking to be counter-productive, cruel, and barbaric.
We used a curling iron.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:01:07 AM EDT

[#9]

Daddy used a claw hammer. He said he was gonna beat the cancer out of me.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:03:44 AM EDT

[#10]

Anyone give their kids a good old fashioned ass whoopin?

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:11:11 AM EDT

[#11]

My father spanked me with his hands, fists and feet. So no I not much on hitting kids.

Never had to hit em they were great. But the few times they did mess up my wife and I found extra chores worked well.

When they were young house work and when the were older yard work.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:19:34 AM EDT

[#12]

I thought the "spanking kid stories" guy had returned until I read who the OP was.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:21:10 AM EDT

[#13]

Shit, I beat other people's kids. Come into my sphere of influence and act like an ass, I spank it. It has only been my niece and nephew right now, but I open to all comers.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:32:09 AM EDT

[#14]

Spanked early and lightly in addition to time outs.

"The Child is Father to the Man"

Some other forms of discipline which worked well for us:
Writing sentences (sometimes the Ten Commandments).
Things in time out.
Paying a fine with allowances.
Letters of Apology.
Standing in front of Family to state apology (works great when relatives are over).
No friends over... no going over to friends.

A variety in the creativity of discipline seems to work better!

Much Luck!

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:36:21 AM EDT

[#15]

Yes but it's a very rare application. Granted my kid is only 2 1/2 and only a few times have I had to 'pop' his bottom; the wife tries 'time out.'

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:41:36 AM EDT

[#16]

I regret spanking my kids with the exception of giving a toddler a swat on the backside so he will not put a screw driver in an outlet.

I think it did considerable damage to my kids. All they saw was an angry man hitting their butts about as hard as he could.

I have many, many regrets, and spanking is right near the top.

Posted: 1/31/2014 5:53:00 AM EDT

[#17]

Im a father of three little ones, and my most effective punishment is:
Ill have them stare at the wall, they wont be aloud to touch it in any way, and they have to stand with their arms strait up....
After just a few minutes I might even mention the burning sensation in their shoulders as I am discussing what it was they had done.
They always regret whatever after the shortest time.....
I still spank when needed, dont get me wrong. I just try to avoid it whenever possible.
Hope this inspires some,lol

Posted: 1/31/2014 6:06:36 AM EDT

[#18]

Spanking is OK, though I kinda find it "lazy". It's easier to swat someone and send them on their way - but for most kids, there are other methods that don't require spanking and work just as well.

Posted: 1/31/2014 7:53:34 AM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:
My kid hasnt "needed" a spanking yet but to me, I see it as a failure of the parents resorting to beating because they were unable to to come up with anything better. You are in fact, smarter than a kid.

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Spanking a child is not the same as beating a child. Spanking is done to discipline a child. It is controlled and limited. Beating a child is never appropriate.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:00:24 AM EDT

[#20]

My sons usually laugh at us when we spank them but when the NO NO STICK comes out they cringe in fear. It's a paint stirrer with those words written on it. My father used a wide belt and my grandfather made a freakin paddle out of a boat oar. It's good for them.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:03:54 AM EDT

[#21]

Never had to spank. Losing privileges and assigning work with close, strict and immediate supervision does the trick. I've also got a very loud and deep COMMAND voice.

I think people who hit children are dull-witted bullies, but you work with what you've got, I suppose.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:11:16 AM EDT

[#22]

Deduction and reasoning work with my kid.

Then if it gets worse things start to get taken away.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:16:36 AM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
My kid hasnt "needed" a spanking yet but to me, I see it as a failure of the parents resorting to beating because they were unable to to come up with anything better. You are in fact, smarter than a kid.

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1) There is a world of difference between spanking and beating -- just as there is a difference between murder and self-defense/justifiable homicide.

2) There is nothing wrong with spanking as a punishment done correctly. Non-corporal punishment done incorrectly can be just as damaging as physical abuse: a friend's wife is deathly afraid of basements because when she was growing up she was told "if you're bad the boogey man will come from the basement and take you away". Mid-fucking-thirties and this woman won't go in a basement by herself -- but her parents never spanked her!

Punishment of any kind, done incorrectly, can be abusive.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:23:13 AM EDT

[#24]

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Parents, if your child's disobedience has gone on long enough that you get irritated or angry, YOU are at fault for not correcting it sooner.

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Which is a very important point, one that bears repeating.

Constant warnings until you loose your shit and scream at you kid until he is cowering in the corner crying is a hell of a lot more abusive than two swift ass smacks.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:25:18 AM EDT

[#25]

No children, but if I do I don't think I'll be spanking any of them if I can help it. I know it certainly effected me in a negative way. My dad was an abusive drunk that beat me almost daily till I was 13 for the slightest infraction. When I was 5 he hit me so hard it dislocated my shoulder, that was for spilling a glass of water on the tile floor in the kitchen.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:27:04 AM EDT

[#26]

The abaused become the abuser, and the cycle continues...

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:29:03 AM EDT

[#27]

A rebellious attitude or lying always got a spanking. Lesser punishments for lesser crimes.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:29:16 AM EDT

[#28]

Quote History

Quoted:

Spank

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Posted: 1/31/2014 8:29:27 AM EDT

[#29]

Positive reinforcement
Negative reinforcement
Punishment

All concepts with a place in behavior management. Rarity yields larger impacts, especially as you go down the list.

ETA: Being consistent and truthful is the most important part, IMO. Never make threats. Never bluff. Kids of any age from 2 through 22 do much better if they know that their actions have consequences and that those consequences are meted out fairly and consistently.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:31:00 AM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
My father had hands that felt like leather gloves so yeah I got spanked. My mother on the other hand used reverse psychology on me.......Maybe that's why I'm so screwy?

Honestly I thinking Spanking has a place and will always have a place in a child's upbringing.....Shit I see maybe 20 kids a day who could use a good one.

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Love your kids? Prove it by beating them.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:33:17 AM EDT

[#31]

my parents used to spank us and we got paddled in school also

all it did is make me hate their guts

look at it this way -

suppose you came over to my house and asked for a glass of milk

on the way to the living you trip and spill the milk all over the floor

so I grab my belt and whip the shit out of you with it

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:33:55 AM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:
I thought the "spanking kid stories" guy had returned until I read who the OP was.

View Quote View All Quotes

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Quote History

Quoted:
I thought the "spanking kid stories" guy had returned until I read who the OP was.

I wondered about that myself, this is the second discipline thread in two days :-)

Quoted:
Spanking is OK, though I kinda find it "lazy". It's easier to swat someone and send them on their way

What ever the actual punishment is, one needs to take the time to explain what the problem was, why it occurred, and how it will not happen again. In my house, whether a punishment is a spanking or a time-out the child is not off the hook until amends have been made.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:38:50 AM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
look at it this way -

suppose you came over to my house and asked for a glass of milk

on the way to the living you trip and spill the milk all over the floor

so I grab my belt and whip the shit out of you with it

View Quote

You realize that's abuse, right? Unless being egregiously careless (I can't even think of an example -- juggling glasses, maybe?) spilling milk shouldn't merit any punishment at all.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:46:16 AM EDT

[#34]

No and I never will. I grew up with it. It took years to overcome. No one, including family, is allowed to discipline my children except me or my wife.

Posted: 1/31/2014 8:52:40 AM EDT

[#35]

Absolutely! A little pop on the button gets his attention real quick. Now, my Dad used to whip me, but today it's called physical abuse. . I never go that far with my Son..

Posted: 1/31/2014 9:06:58 AM EDT

[#36]

I think I swatted my daughters backside maybe twice. Since then, the threat has carried much more weight than the actual act itself. My son was about the same. I've found that phychological warfare to be far and away more effective than actual physical punishment. Than again, a pop on the can solves arguement a quickly.

Posted: 1/31/2014 9:41:39 AM EDT

[#37]

Quote History

Quoted:
Positive reinforcement
Negative reinforcement
Punishment

All concepts with a place in behavior management. Rarity yields larger impacts, especially as you go down the list.

ETA: Being consistent and truthful is the most important part, IMO. Never make threats. Never bluff. Kids of any age from 2 through 22 do much better if they know that their actions have consequences and that those consequences are meted out fairly and consistently.

View Quote

This is how we do it. Lots and lots of positive reinforcement of good, even tolerable\expected behavior (fuck, he's only 2).

Negative reinforcement comes swiftly, in the form of time out, lost toys, or small chores, all followed up with a discussion of what went wrong, why it's wrong, what we expect in the future and an apology. Then it's a hug, kiss and an "I love you, go play, your punishment is over."

VERY rarely we resort to the "hand slap" where he is to present one of the backs of his hands and a slap is administered to it. Maybe a half dozen times it's actually happened, the threat has become just as effective as the act. This is also followed with a hug, kiss and an "I love you, go play, your punishment is over" .... usually after he stops crying. Not because he's hurt, mind you, because he's ashamed and embarrassed he brought the situation that far, or so I've deduced, I could be wrong. He could be crying for other reasons. He's 2, they are weird little creatures full of uncontrollable emotion.

I have "spanked" him exactly ONCE and that was for running away from us and hiding in a clothing store at the mall, in the racks. I lit him up in front of God and all creation without a movement of my give-a-fuck meter concerning the onlookers, fuck 'em, this is my son. It's never happened since and I've never threatened him with a spanking since. Last night at 2 and a half he was walking between my wife and I at the same mall, not holding our hands and keeping perfect pace between us .... not the slightest issue.

The youngest is 1, he hasn't had any discipline beyond "no, don't touch that" which he seems to grasp quickly and he also seems to have a knack for retention because I seldom have to tell him not to touch the same thing more than twice. Which is kinda neat.

Posted: 1/31/2014 9:44:05 AM EDT

[#38]

Lessons not learned in blood, are soon forgotten.

Posted: 1/31/2014 10:00:47 AM EDT

[#39]

No kids here, but when my sister and I were kids, we got the palms of furry from mom. Not for every little thing, though. But when it was warranted, we got it.

I remember one time I decided to make a run for it. I ran out the front door and across the street. I looked back and my mom was just standing on the stoop, not chasing me. She knew, and I knew, that I would have to come back at some point. So I turned around and walked back with my head held low and ready for a whoopin'.

Will I do it when I have kids? Probably, if need be. I don't automatically think that spanking your child is "beating them". IMO, there is a line between the two.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:27:16 AM EDT

[#40]

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Quoted:
Lessons not learned in blood, are soon forgotten.

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bullshit

a smart person can come up with a catchy slogan that makes almost anything sound good

that's why we have a government of bank whores instead of real leadership

because people are content with easy answers and whatever "sounds good"

let's try some logic and facts once in a while

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:31:09 AM EDT

[#41]

I never had the need or desire to administer a spanking. I found the better option was to simply take away privileges (TV, computer, later on the car) where necessary. My son turned out great!

Now my parents on the other hand ........

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:37:28 AM EDT

[#42]

No. At 27 he would kick my old ass now.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:38:52 AM EDT

[#43]

crate training works really well..

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:41:14 AM EDT

[#44]

Spanking a child is like a 15ft 600lb man bludgeoning you. And you don't have a car/gun/money to escape it. And society doesn't care.

How is hitting your wife illegal, but hitting your kid NOT illegal? Your wife CHOSE you and can leave at any second. Children have neither of those privileges and are LESS protected by law.

It's absolutely ass backwards.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:41:34 AM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
My dad spanked me.
My mom use whatever she had access to (belt, tv changer, comb.).

My brother does not hit his kids, never has, never will.

What he does do is "The Treatment".

Push ups, sit ups, and wall sitting.

http://thrivept.net/site/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Wall-Sit.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6e/Push_up_(PSF).png
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_eMdGPS4vwcs/TPXZH42JxwI/AAAAAAAAAE0/ez9gbVUDcI4/s1600/1236787281185-w99ou24oq0pn-500-90-500-70.jpg

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What's he do when they say NO!

No hitting, just good eye contact, a loud voice and threats of taking things away

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:41:56 AM EDT

[#46]

There are a couple of things that result in a swift smack on the ass... taking off running away from mom/dad in a parking lot is the main one. That's happened a couple of times.

Other than that I don't remember it happening.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:42:20 AM EDT

[#47]

Never spank out of anger.

Warn them, and make damn sure you follow through if you threaten them.

I have seen it work, literally like shock therapy. The kid is going beserk and it resets their mind.

The biggest problem, is there is a great potential for abuse when utilizing this form of discipline.......as some parents are idiots.

I spanked all 4 of my kids. 2 boys and 2 girls. I was spanked as a kid as well. It seemed to work out for me and my kids thus far. YMMV.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:47:14 AM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:

True that.

Teaching a child to resort to violence when logic and reasoning doesn't work will only set them up for failure in the real world where there is a general lack of logic and reason.

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
My kid hasnt "needed" a spanking yet but to me, I see it as a failure of the parents resorting to beating because they were unable to to come up with anything better. You are in fact, smarter than a kid.

True that.

Teaching a child to resort to violence when logic and reasoning doesn't work will only set them up for failure in the real world where there is a general lack of logic and reason.

If that is what you think is going on then the people you've watched are doing it wrong.

Spanking should be thought of as the logical conclusion of incorrect behavior. And that is how the real world works so I really don't understand your stance.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:53:14 AM EDT

[#49]

Quote History

Quoted:
Spanking a child is like a 15ft 600lb man bludgeoning you. And you don't have a car/gun/money to escape it. And society doesn't care.

How is hitting your wife illegal, but hitting your kid NOT illegal? Your wife CHOSE you and can leave at any second. Children have neither of those privileges and are LESS protected by law.

It's absolutely ass backwards.

View Quote

Not quite a fair analogy.

Not always possible to reason with a defiant 4YO.

Also........if that 15 foot dude told me something .......I would damn sure listen if the threat of an ass beating was in the balance.

Posted: 1/31/2014 11:53:34 AM EDT

[#50]

I think you have to find what works for your kids. My niece is a handful. Her mom is a single mother and doesn't have much discipline at home. She hardly ever hears no. She likes to say it though. One time she did something really bad while I was there. Mom let me spank her (she can't because she has only one good arm). That child laughed at me after I spanked her as hard as I possibly could. She was impervious to it. But she's such a control freak, that I figured out that if I just held her and made her sit still until she decided to listen, she hated it more than anything. It was the only thing she would respond to. So no spanking, just sitting still worked better than anything else.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Parents do you spank your kids or use another form of discipline? (Page 2 of 3)

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