https://archive.is/e6RtB

Men and conservative media are filling their diapers over a study about so-called ‘foodie calls.‘ But let’s take a deep breath and think about this

Some see splitting the check on a date as the feminist thing to do. Not me. My paying for a meal doesn’t solve gender inequality — it just means I have less money in my wallet.

It’s nothing strange for the guy to pick up the tab on a date. Men are more likely to make the first move and ask a woman out, rather than vice versa; so, as the ones who request and arrange the date, it’s only polite for them to pay. What’s more, until our society can turn around the gender pay gap, some would argue it’s the guy’s duty as an ally to reach for his wallet first. Nor is it brazen to acknowledge that for many young women, finances factor into the equation when considering a night out.

Still, there persists the idea that women regularly use first dates to scam men out of their hard-earned cash and time, coaxing free meals from poor suckers they have no interest in. One study called them “foodie calls” and determined that 23 to 33 percent of women are “dating for a free meal (rather than a relationship).” These researchers concluded that women who enjoy free food on dates score high for a “dark triad” of personality traits: psychopathy, Machiavellianism and narcissism.

But there’s reason to doubt the study’s findings. It was conducted at Azusa Pacific University, a private evangelical school, and its sample size is small: 820 women in the first study, 357 in the second. But no matter: When it made the rounds on conservative media (“A third of women only date men because of the free food,” wrote Suzy Weiss, sister of Bari, at the New York Post), it told a lot of angry dudes what they already wanted to hear.

If anything, the glut of such responses demonstrate why a woman would at least hope for her suitor to cover the check. With attitudes like these prevalent in the manosphere, why the fuck not?

“I think it’s a badass move,” says Raphaela, a 24-year-old from Vermont. She wishes she could be one of the women who’d gladly string along a guy for a “foodie call,” but “I simply cannot stand to be around guys that I don’t genuinely like, even for one hour.”

To me and many young women I know, the study and its reaction missed a vital element in dating culture. Women aren’t going on dates just for a free meal. More likely, they’re using the meal as an excuse to give someone a chance. And if men are angry about this dynamic, it’s indicative that they expected something more in return. In that sense, women can weed out the dates with Nice Guy Entitlement Syndrome who believe that they’re entitled to a grateful blow job just because they reached for the check without complaint.

That’s one reason why women I spoke with rolled their eyes at these findings. Another reason: the alleged psychopathy connection. “I don’t buy the crazy-women shit,” says Ava, 23, who also lives in Vermont. “Women are more communicative and familiar with their feelings so they know themselves better. Psychopaths experience psychosis and act out on society.” It’s lazy to put young women in these convenient boxes, she argues. “Psychology hates women who feel their feelings.”

As for the men who might resent feeling “used” for a meal: “I don’t give a fuck. Men are guilty of all sorts of shit — shit that’s worse than losing $30,” Ava says. Like what? “Leading you on for a month acting like you’re dating without clarifying that they’re not ready to commit, calling their exes crazy, being emotionally unavailable and pretending that sex and love are the same.”

Basically, men already hold all the cards in the dating scene. Even as they whine about how hard it is to get laid, they’re in a position of power. So if Ava enjoys a night out on a guy’s dime, it doesn’t feel like a scam — more like compensation.

“If a date sucks, I definitely think to myself, At least I got some free food,” says Azia, a 23-year-old from Florida. “I act the same with a guy who I want to go on a date with and the guy I go out with mostly because of the free food. A first date is a first date. You’re going to say the same things.” It’s an experience that’s rote and often disappointing. So while she may have invested her time and emotional energy, at least she got some damn rigatoni.
Of course, a bad date has two sides. Men, too, invest their time and emotional energy into dating, and I know it plain sucks for you dudes to drop some hard-earned cash, spill your guts and never hear from someone again. But these are the cards society has dealt us, and the least you could do is not think we’re psychopaths for giving you a chance.


wHo hUrT yOu Ava??? - sorrynotsorry that Chad pumped&dumped you, stop choosing poorly

If you date traditionally in current year, there's a good chance you're being finessed.




One study called them “foodie calls” and determined that 23 to 33 percent of women are “dating for a free meal (rather than a relationship).” These researchers concluded that women who enjoy free food on dates score high for a “dark triad” of personality traits: psychopathy, Machiavellianism and narcissism.

But there’s reason to doubt the study’s findings. It was conducted at Azusa Pacific University, a private evangelical school, and its sample size is small: 820 women in the first study, 357 in the second.

so up to a third of women at a private evangelical university went on dates for free meals - trad AF

Meet at a coffee shop.
Take a walk in a park

No fat chicks
No free meals

This is what that site has posted on its About page:

"There’s no playbook for how to be a guy.

So at MEL, we’re trying to figure out how to live without one. A lifestyle and culture magazine, we cover sex, relationships, health, money, work and culture from a male point-of-view — even though we’re not all male, and aren’t entirely sure what “male” should mean anymore. We tell stories that no one else is telling, share perspectives that no one else is considering and illuminate people that no one else would even think to seek out.

We also talk about dicks a lot."

It was created by Dollar Shave Club.

Most of the articles in the relationships section appear to be written by women

Yeah, ok.

Cook for her, put ex lax in dessert if she is just playing games. Make sure she drives HER car home.

first meeting is at a coffee or snack shop and we're going dutch.

Conversation will be had.  

If either of these are a no for the woman, cancel.

not even a single 69cent hamburger at DQ for the lulz?

MGTOW thread?

MGTOW thread.

Food is cheap.  It's not a big deal.

But once you set the precedent where you always pay, you're fucked.

I stopped reading at the pay gap BS.

Ten women need to chill about being called whores.

The top 5-20 do

Everyone else is invisible until it's time for a meal.

Certain %, sure.

BugsBunnyNo.jpg

A 69cent hamburger at DQ is cheap.

The meals they want, not so much.

Why you leading with your money?

Yes

My bad, yeah, meant to write 5-20%

They should be satisfied with just getting their yard mowed.

so you're saying we're not in the top 20% of men?

Attached File

This is one issue I can't get worked up about.  It's easy enough to avoid by not doing dinner for a first date, and even if I were to slip up and be taken advantage of, who cares?  If she goes on a date with a guy she doesn't like to get a $30 meal, she's a fucking loser.

If you're meeting women, you can't be going MGTOW.

"Men are more likely to make the first move and ask a woman out, rather than vice versa; so, as the ones who request and arrange the date, it’s only polite for them to pay. What’s more, until our society can turn around the gender pay gap, some would argue it’s the guy’s duty as an ally to reach for his wallet first. Nor is it brazen to acknowledge that for many young women, finances factor into the equation when considering a night out."

I've never ever ever heard this argument before.

I guess finances don't factor into the equation for young men when considering a night out?

We're all in the top 100%

not sure if serious...you're thinking of monks

There is no gender pay gap, you selfish, dishonest cunt.

Ava sounds like marriage material
"As for the men who might resent feeling “used” for a meal: “I don’t give a fuck. Men are guilty of all sorts of shit — shit that’s worse than losing $30,” Ava says. Like what? “Leading you on for a month acting like you’re dating without clarifying that they’re not ready to commit, calling their exes crazy, being emotionally unavailable and pretending that sex and love are the same.” "

By the time they realize I have enough money for food, but not enough for Disney princess fantasies, I've had my fun and can eject.

And I don't mind at all for paying for my dates.  It'd be pretty messed up for a grown ass man to ask an 18-22yo girl to split the check.

If someone gave me a dollar for every time that's brought up, she'd have 77 cents......

if you are worried about $30 don't go to dinner on a first date.
or go out for a fucking burger and milkshakes

yes you can.

@StevenH

People over think, over analyze everything

Good lord, take a break, take a deep breath.  Maybe take a Valium

Like the geologist thing?  Black people with a hammer is a threat?    Holy crap, what nerd thought of that?

Academia is a disease

If you aren’t having the women asking you out and paying you are doing it wrong

Dinner dates? Dinner dates early on? lmao

If you're so worried about her budget, take her to a cheap fastfood joint

Bullshit.  Women want equality nowadays.  Equality means equality for everything and everyone.  Splitting lunch or dinner bills, being drafted, etc.  Not just equality only when it serves a women's needs.

Never do dinner if you're meeting for the first time, always coffee or a drink so you can bail if it doesn't work out. 2nd date is dinner and anal

Hahahaha, that tells me all I need to know about this person's mentally ill,  victimhood,  "gimme gimme gimme" view of the world.

This is true. Imagine what they'd do without us

Not sure what type of women these people are encountering but I've been on dozens of dates in the past year or so and every time the woman is adamant about splitting the check. Like they feel it's an insult just like if a man was to order for the woman. Like the guy is still stuck in the 1800s.

And if you're frugal, just eat that ass like groceries

Catranch, guzzle wine and die alone?

ohwait...

I used to really enjoy going on dates when I was younger and single.  Going to one of the local joints for some drinks and dive bar food, and usually having some semi decent conversation with someone was a pretty good time.  I’d usually pick up the check too, mostly because it felt good to be nice to someone if I had a good time with them.

People these days are fucking weird.

You can even let her super-sized her meal!

There are multiple definitions.  There's the "permanent bachelor hook-up artist" version and the "He-Man Woman Hater's Club" version.  The first dies surrounded by thousands of notches in his bed.  The second dies surrounded by a menagerie of Star Wars toys.  Neither get married, so they won't die surrounded by a loving family of people who only exist because of them, but they also won't die from divorce.

We haven’t found a picture of the big ‘un that wrote this?

I usually avoid dinner dates, but I've done it a few times, and with good results.  I'll only do it if I'm certain she's into me.  Even then I'd prefer to do some sort of fun activity

The study was done 2 times with the same result with over 1k participants. Isn’t that the number used to validate the first COVID vaccine?  She sounds narcissistic.  People don’t like being called a piece of crap when they act like a piece of crap so it’s understandable.

Don't date girls who want to be men.

I used to take chick's to mcyd's or dairy queen on the first date.
I learned 25 years ago some women just want an expensive meal.