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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:21:08 PM EDT
[#1]
Lol, the quicksand one. there was a creek behind my house. As a kid thats where me and my friends were in the summer. The fear of encountering quicksand was real. Always someone who knew someone who's relative almost died in quicksand. There are a lot of spongy, muddy spots along a creek bank, I was sure it was the dreaded quicksand.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:23:52 PM EDT
[#2]
I can shot a pistol or long gun from inside a car or confined room and not have ringing ears.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:24:43 PM EDT
[#3]
Women never have periods.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:36:53 PM EDT
[#4]
Guns have no recoil.
You can shoot a 357 magnum one handed multiple times and the gun will never move once. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:42:03 PM EDT
[#5]
None of my sword or knife blades make a dramatic "ringing" sound when drawn from their sheaths.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:42:09 PM EDT
[#6]
All that money in gear and not a single fucken zombie. Not one.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:50:47 PM EDT
[#7]
Pistol bullets don't actually make T-Rex's heads explode. . . Like giant fireball explode.
Maybe they have to be fired from a cowboy falling through the air after being knocked off the triceratops. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 2:57:21 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Military surplus stores actually have an arms bazaar in the back room. With cans of zyklon b! |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:06:23 PM EDT
[#9]
The only way to save someone with a gunshot wound is to remove the bullet.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:15:42 PM EDT
[#10]
Fragmentation grenades make huge fireballs when they explode.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:22:24 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Suppressors make all guns as quiet as mouse farts. You don't need a supressor, just a pillow or stuffed animal. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:25:39 PM EDT
[#12]
That every girl is waiting to jump in bed with you, if you have some witty one liners.
That ugly girls are just hot chicks with glasses and bad hairdos. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:29:44 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You can pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth. One of the first things the grenadier instructors told us was to never try to pull a pin with your teeth, unless you are okay with gumming your food. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:35:24 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The only way to save someone with a gunshot wound is to remove the bullet. When the bullet is removed there's no bleeding, and INSTANTLY the victims blood pressure and heart rate stabilizes and the beeping increases on the EKG heart monitor |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:46:53 PM EDT
[#15]
in Hard to Kill if Seagal got a video tape showing political corruption to an ABC reporter everything would be alright.
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Posted: 12/17/2022 3:50:50 PM EDT
[#16]
The samurai sword is the most effective weapon in the history of mankind, eclipsing handguns, rifles and beltfeds.
Small cuts must be stitched up immediately without cleaning the wound. Water is optional in very hot weather, a single canteen is sufficient for a dayshard travel for 2 people, maybe 3. Nobody dies a screaming lingering death in battle. Gunfights produce dead badguys, not wounded unless they're the primary antagonist. Profit driven criminals are utterly willing to stand and fight to the death, to the point of rising from the dea multiple times, rather than simply escaping. All criminals are an evolved form of H. Sapiens, uncannily skilled at H2H, all weapons and multiple skill domains. All police detectives are mavericks. Amnesia is a common malady with the only side effect being memory loss. It's also an exculpatory defense for crime. Tasers and stun guns render people unconscious for an extended period of time. Sympathetic characters rarely die in pain, alone or weeping with fear. They luckily are able to say poignant goodbyes and convey useful, though often incomplete information. Long term comas result in complete recovery, with no lingering effects and remarkable muscle tone and coordination that requires no rehab. It's really just a refreshing nap. Moral issues are always framed with perfect information in crystal clarity that provides permanent solutions, not dilemmas. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 4:01:29 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Glock 7 ceramic handgun |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 4:01:43 PM EDT
[#18]
None of my knifes make those cool movie noises. What am I doing wrong?
Beat by Merkava |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 4:11:26 PM EDT
[#19]
Why would someone look to Hollywood for truth when the entire purpose of their existence is to entertain (deceive others) by being something they're not?
To give any real cognitive credence to actors is a self-defeating endeavor. This is why you see actors and comedians becoming politicians....because people are controlled by human beings that they're affected by emotionally. I assume that everything offered by an actor is already a lie. |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 4:38:52 PM EDT
[#20]
Every single vehicle, not matter how much it weighs and especially front wheel drive can drive around corners fish tailing at 30 mph. Movie cars have special separate rear brakes installed to create those dramatic fish tails
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Posted: 12/17/2022 4:45:13 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Why would someone look to Hollywood for truth when the entire purpose of their existence is to entertain (deceive others) by being something they're not? To give any real cognitive credence to actors is a self-defeating endeavor. This is why you see actors and comedians becoming politicians....because people are controlled by human beings that they're affected by emotionally. I assume that everything offered by an actor is already a lie. Even lying actors can be used in movies to illustrate truthful moral principles.  |
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Posted: 12/17/2022 5:13:32 PM EDT
[#22]
Despite what Hollywood would indicate, I'm not so sure it's true that you can just knock somebody on the head to knock them out for a few minutes and expect them to get up later with a mild headache. Some movies seem to insinuate that you can actually do this repeatedly without serious deleterious effects to their health. I'm doubtful.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:26:14 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Despite what Hollywood would indicate, I'm not so sure it's true that you can just knock somebody on the head to knock them out for a few minutes and expect them to get up later with a mild headache. Some movies seem to insinuate that you can actually do this repeatedly without serious deleterious effects to their health. I'm doubtful. Old time radio detectives get knocked out every other episode. Sam Spade, Johnny Dollar, Richard Diamond, George Valentine, and the rest go unconscious more than fainting goats. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:30:00 AM EDT
[#24]
Nazis. It's always Nazis.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:39:01 AM EDT
[#25]
Duo welding pistols
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Posted: 12/18/2022 3:05:06 AM EDT
[#26]
My sister thought Vikings were originally from Scotland because of the How to Train Your Dragon series.
 (The Vikings in those movies all have Scottish accents, for some stupid reason.) |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 3:26:24 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I thought whips were gonna be a lot more useful than they are. I've never managed to get one to wrap around a tree branch such that I could swing from it. I never managed to get my brother to drop his nerf gun by hitting him in the hand with it. Nor did I ever manage to get it to wrap around his neck. I did manage to whip him real good in the back once but that wasn't very cool. Eta: I just realized that a lot of younger people here might think it odd that parents would gift there young boys whips and machetes from a Mexican street market after a visit to Matamoros. But that's what growing up in the 70's-80's was like. We had lawn darts too. we had all of that. my mom beat my ass for bullwhipping the kid across the street. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 3:51:01 AM EDT
[#28]
You never have to charge a cell phone. Or laptop.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 10:46:24 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A Christmas bonus can fund a swimming pool. ETA - with enough left over to fly you all down here to dedicate it. Oh snap, no you did'in ! |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 12:23:25 PM EDT
[#30]
If you drop gears and punch it, you can always pass anyone, regardless of how fast you’re going and how fast they’re going, if you are the superior driver.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 12:38:28 PM EDT
[#31]
When running away from a serial killer, the 2nd best looking chick will trip and sprain an ankle.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 12:56:55 PM EDT
[#32]
If you are in mortal danger from an animal, alien or human, what you want to do is look around the room and then put your weapon down and walk away from it.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 1:22:47 PM EDT
[#33]
Average looking, middle class, overweight dudes attract smoking hot chicks and marry them.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 1:24:17 PM EDT
[#34]
A 45 acp will lift a grown man up off his feet and throw him 10 feet backwards through a plate glass window if he is shot
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:05:00 PM EDT
[#35]
Westerns.
No horse(s) ever left a pile of road apples. Nor a huge puddle of urine either. Men and women all had the best dental care. 
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:05:09 PM EDT
[#36]
Silencers are tiny and silent and work on revolvers. Cars explode when you shoot them. Bad guys never aim or always miss, and never carry loaded guns, preferring instead to cock them at the last moment.
Real men can outrun an 8000 m/sec shockwave that’s trapped in the ?? of the explosion. Traumatic brain injuries can be shaken off. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:17:20 PM EDT
[#37]
Killer bees, tidal waves,
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:18:57 PM EDT
[#38]
I was lead to believe every police investigation would require a visit to a strip club. Reality was a major disappointment.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:26:34 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quick sand "That was lucky! Damn near lost a four hundred dollar hand cart" 
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:30:57 PM EDT
[#40]
You can put a suppressor on ANY unmodified firearm instantly.
A supposed pistol will Always cycle. 
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:33:36 PM EDT
[#41]
sharks can fly
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:39:40 PM EDT
[#42]
Super lies:
Spacecraft banking through turns out of the gravity of a star system. Spacecraft in banked turns around moons and planets with the crew space floors 90 degrees to the gravity vector. Spacecraft with wings and tail surfaces that never fly in an atmosphere. Spacecraft with bright interior lights, plenty of heat, and luxurious, wasted space. Also windows to the outside. Sounds of spacecraft. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:39:42 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Grenades would make a huge fireball and shooting from the hip was accurate  Attached File |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:40:57 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That American presidents were wise, heroic and loved this country and its constitution.  Attached File |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 2:40:59 PM EDT
[#45]
It takes about 10-30 seconds to learn how to shoot any gun—and make on the run headshots, hundred yard shots, ad nauseum.
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Posted: 12/18/2022 3:37:52 PM EDT
[#46]
That all the good guys/ heroes and half the bad guys/ pimps knew Kung- Fu in in the black exploitation movies of the 1970s.
The black good guys had theme music when they walked down the street. |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 4:39:47 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Passersby never break out into song and dance as I walk down the street.  |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 5:06:12 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Guns have no recoil. You can shoot a 357 magnum one handed multiple times and the gun will never move once. This. I was shooting a 1903 rifle yesterday and kept thinking "why is this thing punching me in the shoulder? I never see that happening with those skinny 18 year old kids in war movies." |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 5:19:07 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You can use any computer anywhere to easily hack into the most secure facility. With 8 key strokes. And you don't even have to look at the keyboard. Just mash the keys randomly. This works for entering passwords to stop the Bond Villans dastardly machine as it counts down to 1. This is referred to as the "ICE PRINCESS" effect. (See General Hospital, 1980) |
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Posted: 12/18/2022 6:06:08 PM EDT
[#50]
You stumble upon numerous dead soldiers , weapons and ammo scattered all around, you NEVER pick anything up.
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