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Link Posted: 11/26/2018 12:44:08 PM EDT
[#1]
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Quoted:
I am absolutely, positively not trying to downplay the OP's situation, but if someone can just wake up and say "Eh, I'm doing this too much" and then not touch it for a week, were they really an alcoholic?

ETA: Again I am not downplaying the severity, and I admit I'm completely ignorant on the topic.
View Quote
Depends on what happens after that week

Shootindave is correct about drinking like a "normal" person.

One anecdote I heard is: if you're at a restaurant, and you notice a person gets up to leave but left 1/3 of their beer unfinished, and it confounds you, you're probably an alcoholic.

ETA: Generally, if you can have 1 or 2 drinks in a setting and having more never crosses your mind, you're "normal".
If you have to force yourself to a limit, and consciously stop and think about whether or not it's a good idea to have more, every time you drink, you may have a problem.

That was me - more was never enough.

Anyone can stop for a week with enough willpower; alcoholism is more about the habits and effects surrounding the drinking than the drinking itself.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 12:46:45 PM EDT
[#2]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Depends on what happens after that week

Shootindave is correct about drinking like a "normal" person.

One anecdote I heard is: if you're at a restaurant, and you notice a person gets up to leave but left 1/3 of their beer unfinished, and it confounds you, you're probably an alcoholic.
View Quote
I definitely get that, but I would never leave 1/3rd of a beer unfinished because I paid for it, and I don't even drink

I guess my point is that does enjoying something to the point of excess have to mean there's an "ism" involved? I'm not saying it's healthy (as it's definitely not,) but there's all sorts of things and hobbies I engage in well beyond what I probably should (both in time and money,) but I'm not addicted to those things.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 12:56:36 PM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

I definitely get that, but I would never leave 1/3rd of a beer unfinished because I paid for it, and I don't even drink

I guess my point is that does enjoying something to the point of excess have to mean there's an "ism" involved? I'm not saying it's healthy (as it's definitely not,) but there's all sorts of things and hobbies I engage in well beyond what I probably should (both in time and money,) but I'm not addicted to those things.
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Edited while you replied -

alcoholism is more about the habits and effects surrounding the drinking than the drinking itself.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 12:59:48 PM EDT
[#4]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Edited while you replied -

alcoholism is more about the habits and effects surrounding the drinking than the drinking itself.
View Quote
Ah I gotcha.

So someone who drinks too much, but is able to stop without much effort probably has a self-control problem, and less of an "ism" problem?

Like you said, I guess what happens going forward for the OP is what's important.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:00:06 PM EDT
[#5]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I am absolutely, positively not trying to downplay the OP's situation, but if someone can just wake up and say "Eh, I'm doing this too much" and then not touch it for a week, were they really an alcoholic?

ETA: Again I am not downplaying the severity, and I admit I'm completely ignorant on the topic.
View Quote
Simply put an alcoholic, upon having one drink, wants or craves more. Like a switch in the brain that screams MORE!  More always leads to drunk. That’s why alcoholics really shouldn’t have that first drink. The saying is 1 is too many and 20 isn’t enough.

I know if I have 1 drink, I’ll have however many more it takes to make me feel real good. Be it 10 or 20 or more. So I don’t have that first drink. Because I know what will happen if I do.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:01:14 PM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Simply put an alcoholic, upon having one drink, wants or craves more. Like a switch in the brain that screams MORE!  More always leads to drunk. That’s why alcoholics really shouldn’t have that first drink. The saying is 1 is too many and 20 isn’t enough.

I know if I have 1 drink, I’ll have however many more it takes to make me feel real good. Be it 10 or 20 or more. So I don’t have that first drink. Because I know what will happen if I do.
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I always thought an alcoholic was someone who found it nearly impossible not to have that first drink. But I guess everyone is different. The alcoholics I've know were quite addicted. The idea of going a week without booze to them would feel like a death sentence I suspect.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:02:50 PM EDT
[#7]
.nvm
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:04:02 PM EDT
[#8]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

I definitely get that, but I would never leave 1/3rd of a beer unfinished because I paid for it, and I don't even drink

I guess my point is that does enjoying something to the point of excess have to mean there's an "ism" involved? I'm not saying it's healthy (as it's definitely not,) but there's all sorts of things and hobbies I engage in well beyond what I probably should (both in time and money,) but I'm not addicted to those things.
View Quote
Also, people can absolutely become addicted to things other than drugs, like sex or shopping. It's all about brain chemistry.

When your brain craves something (like shopping, for example) and it makes you do negative things to attain the goal (like steal money from your wife's purse), it is addictive behavior.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:06:05 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I hit 100 hours of sobriety this evening.  Went to a meeting this morning.  Still staying quiet during the meetings, just soaking it all in.  Don't know when I'll be ready to share in that setting.  Found a Coke Zero replacement - Zevia soda.  Zero calories.  No artificial sweeteners or flavors.  But it's pricey ($5 a six pack, same as the Busch Light I would get at the gas station sometimes).  Then again, I don't plan on having 20 a day.  Also found a nice flavoring for water.  True Lime - no artificial flavors or sweeteners.  Much cheaper than the Zevia, but without the carbonation.  Thinking about finding some carbonated water and adding True Lime to it.  For whatever reason I need a drink substitute for the beer I was drinking, as I always had a beverage in front of me.

For anyone reading this who thinks "I need to stop drinking" or "I want to stop drinking" I was the poster child for the fully functional alcoholic and "wanted" and "needed" to quit for a long time.  When you are at the level of drinking I was at you can't schedule it, you can't coordinate it.  It has to be a decision right then and there with immediate follow through and support available.  At least that's how it was for me.  I planned and scheduled it for years.  "As soon as this project at work is done," or "as soon as we get back from vacation," or some other artificial deadline. Ultimately it happened at the most unexpected time - the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I don't know why, I don't know how, all I know is I made a phone call, found a meeting and went.

I never in my life thought I would give a shit about a made in China (probably) plastic chip that cost a few pennies, but I'll be damned if that little white chip didn't provide me with more power, more strength, more self worth than any drink has in my life.  Probably sounds pathetic.  But it is what it is.  All weekend long we had a fridge filled with beer in the garage as we had family over for Thanksgiving.  Would have been easy for me to walk out there unnoticed and slam a few without anyone knowing.  But I would have known, and I know the cycle would start again.  That chip in my pocket, I would stick my hand in my pocket and squeeze it tight and reach in the fridge and pull out a bottle of water, or the jar of pickles, or whatever else, but not a beer.

Thanks for all the support and messages.  Day 5 in the books.
View Quote
Good job!

I don't think it's pathetic at all to recognize that the value of that chip is far more than the retail purchase price.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:11:57 PM EDT
[#10]
Good on you @ 100 hours.

Water is the solution to the KS.  Water - and more water.  More.  Move around as much as you can.

And keep the water coming!
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:17:05 PM EDT
[#11]
Soaking in a hot bath will help with the stone pain some. Indomethacin is ehat really helped my stone pain. The narcotics/opioids just didn't let me poop
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:21:19 PM EDT
[#12]
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Quoted:
According to Jordan Peterson, religion and LSD are the two most effective treatments for alcoholism, which is why AA has the religious component to it. I am not a religious person, but if you are not as well, and are struggling with alcoholism, consider it.

Also, read Peterson's 12 Rules for Life or listen to the audiobook. The anecdotes made me rethink how I handle things.
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More precisely, Peterson cites data that show religion to be helpful.
Link Posted: 11/26/2018 1:38:26 PM EDT
[#13]
Good on you!
I also hate artificial sweeteners in those little water flavoring packages.
True Lemon products are great stuff.
I also have a CO2 carbonation setup for carbonating bottles of the True Lemon flavoring - kind of like a homemade SodaStream setup.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 10:29:10 AM EDT
[#14]
Update added in OP. So far so good. Not taking anything for granted though. Still a day-to-day battle.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 10:31:00 AM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Good on you!
I also hate artificial sweeteners in those little water flavoring packages.
True Lemon products are great stuff.
I also have a CO2 carbonation setup for carbonating bottles of the True Lemon flavoring - kind of like a homemade SodaStream setup.
View Quote
Thought about this this morning. Bought a bottle of carbonated water and added some true lime to it. It was good. But the water was over $1. Soda stream may be the solution with more upfront cost but much cheaper long term.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 10:33:39 AM EDT
[#16]
Keep it up, you will thank yourself.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 10:57:06 AM EDT
[#17]
Best wishes OP! You are off to a good start. Keep at it!
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 11:01:56 AM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Update added in OP. So far so good. Not taking anything for granted though. Still a day-to-day battle.
View Quote
How do you feel?  It only gets better. You’re in early recovery and your body and mind are changing. After about 3 months the alchohol is totally out of you and your brain has adjusted to being without it. Do let your doctor know you’re in recovery, he’ll know what to be aware of.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 11:07:44 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Inspired by another thread  Thread

UPDATE: have now made it a week. The kidney stone issue was not a kidney stone, its gallstones. Had an X-ray done that showed it. Getting an ultrasound next week. But pain has subsided. Now sober for 8 days. Gone to 5 meetings. No sponsor yet, haven't connected with anyone. Reading the AA book, seems like a biography. My attitude is still very positive, my bank account is probably $80-$100 richer. Only regret is not doing this sooner.
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Good for you OP.  That takes some ironclad balls to take that jump.  Keep it up.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 11:56:58 AM EDT
[#20]
Attaboy OP!
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 12:03:08 PM EDT
[#21]
Very glad to hear this. Also glad AA is helping you. I have a high opinion of that organization, but some folks are very antagonistic towards anything they perceive as religious.

My two favorite things about AA:

1) Only the 1st step is about booze. Everything else is about becoming a better person.

And 2), their little saying "To thine own self be true" has helped me a lot over the years. Or, as Marcus Aurelius put it, "Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect."
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 12:15:39 PM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Thought about this this morning. Bought a bottle of carbonated water and added some true lime to it. It was good. But the water was over $1. Soda stream may be the solution with more upfront cost but much cheaper long term.
View Quote
I like the SodaStream setup.  We bought the cheapest model, 4 water bottles, and 4 CO2 bottles.  We go through a bottle in around 1-1.5 weeks.  Once three bottles are down, we go and exchange them during that week's grocery run.  I looked at the water bottles recently, and they are no dishwasher safe.  The ones we have are not, so that's a plus as well.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 1:23:30 PM EDT
[#23]
It gets easier with time, so stick to it!
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 4:06:08 PM EDT
[#24]
Congrats Sir!!!

Get that f-in monkey off your back and keep it off. May God help you with this task, whether you believe or not.
Link Posted: 11/29/2018 4:30:51 PM EDT
[#25]
God Bless OP.

I don't know if you have God in your life, but I suggest you consider it.  There's a magnificent power with God.

CMOS
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 12:16:26 AM EDT
[#26]
Two weeks down. Meeting number 9 tonight. Don’t have a sponsor yet. Not a whole lot of people in the group I would want to be my sponsor. Question for those who are in AA...can a woman be a sponsor for a man? I ask because there is one woman who seems to be a pier, meaning a working professional who doesn’t look like they have been in prison or lived under a bridge.  I say that because a lot of people who share during the open discussion time tell about their homeless or prison times. At the end of the meeting they ask who is willing to be a sponsor and she raised her hand. Just wondering if that is taboo. I’ve googled it and got mixed results. And FWIW, she is most likely a liberal judging by things I have seen and heard. But it’s not about that, it’s about how to best make me better, if that makes sense.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 12:56:22 AM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
WTF does this have to do with AA?
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:01:54 AM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Edited while you replied -

alcoholism is more about the habits and effects surrounding the drinking than the drinking itself.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:

I definitely get that, but I would never leave 1/3rd of a beer unfinished because I paid for it, and I don't even drink

I guess my point is that does enjoying something to the point of excess have to mean there's an "ism" involved? I'm not saying it's healthy (as it's definitely not,) but there's all sorts of things and hobbies I engage in well beyond what I probably should (both in time and money,) but I'm not addicted to those things.
Edited while you replied -

alcoholism is more about the habits and effects surrounding the drinking than the drinking itself.
I quit cold turkey.  I was definitely an alcoholic.

Hit three years sober back in October.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:03:41 AM EDT
[#30]
Congrats.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:23:59 AM EDT
[#31]
AA is for quitters.

I walked away from way too much whiskey a day, cold turkey. Enough was enough. That was 30 years ago and quit drinking the day the ex left.

Leaving smoking behind? That was a totally different experience.

Good for you, Congrats. Keep up the good fight.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:30:10 AM EDT
[#32]
Good 2-week mark OP!  Be strong.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:37:51 AM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Two weeks down. Meeting number 9 tonight. Don’t have a sponsor yet. Not a whole lot of people in the group I would want to be my sponsor. Question for those who are in AA...can a woman be a sponsor for a man? I ask because there is one woman who seems to be a pier, meaning a working professional who doesn’t look like they have been in prison or lived under a bridge.  I say that because a lot of people who share during the open discussion time tell about their homeless or prison times. At the end of the meeting they ask who is willing to be a sponsor and she raised her hand. Just wondering if that is taboo. I’ve googled it and got mixed results. And FWIW, she is most likely a liberal judging by things I have seen and heard. But it’s not about that, it’s about how to best make me better, if that makes sense.
View Quote
Find a man (she should tell you the same thing if asked).  I had the best luck finding potential sponsors at mens stag meetings.  You might look up a couple of those and try them out to see if the crowd is a better fit.  Different meetings draw different crowds.  Saturday mornings will look different than mid day during the work week, and church meetings can have a different feel than club meetings.  That's not to say you cant get something out of every meeting, but you want to find some where you feel like you fit in with the crowd.  That just makes it easier, especially in the beginning.

For a sponsor you want someone with a good ammount of sober time (years) who knows the book well enough to guide you through it and the steps.  If you find a mens stag meeting that is a good fit for you show up early and drink coffee with them, or stay after and help stack chairs.  Chances are good you'll find a sponsor quickly just by talking to people before/after the meeting.

Awesome job on the two weeks!  It takes time before it gets easier, but stick to it!  Its definitely worth it.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 1:39:54 AM EDT
[#34]
Well done, keep it up.  We are pulling for you.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:34:25 AM EDT
[#35]
Keep moving forward, you’re doing well.

Day 204 for me.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:45:56 AM EDT
[#36]
Excellent! Glad to hear it!
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 12:01:02 PM EDT
[#37]
As mentioned your sponsor should not be opposite sex. It’s bad for both of you. How are you sleeping and feeling?  How’s the appetite?
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 5:52:06 PM EDT
[#38]
Great job so far!

Get rid the beer in your garage. And in your house. Having it around makes it way to easy to give in to that little voice saying "just one will be okay."  Making it harder to obtain gives your sober voice time to kick the drunk voice's ass.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:34:29 PM EDT
[#39]
Please keep up the good work.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:44:59 PM EDT
[#40]
These types of inspiring threads are why I like GD so much.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:51:54 PM EDT
[#41]
tnburban I sent you an IM.
Link Posted: 12/6/2018 6:52:21 PM EDT
[#42]
Good Job OP!
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