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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:22:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#1]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By madmathew: My wife too. I don't get either, I commute 200 miles a day and have for years without any problems. I have a CDL A with HAZMAT, I'm licensed thru work to drive all kinds of crazy shit and she still acts like I'm a new driver. It was a few years ago and i drove a specialized 8 speed Peterbilt hauling a 120,000lb Quinn pump and steel and shit on a 52' trailer. I mean, I literally trained six days a week for months. Drove all over Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas in and out of muddy locations in a fucking crater were a desert donkey wouldn't look for water but no. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:22:37 PM EDT
[#2]
My wife is like a sleeping cat that gets slapped on the ass.
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WI, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:24:23 PM EDT
[#3]
I've stopped in the road before and told her the car doesn't move until she gets a grip. It solved it, for a while....
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CA, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:32:16 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By markfall: Thanks for making me feel better, guys. Glad I'm not the only one married to my wife. Eh, same-ish here. Had to pull over on one of them. That took awhile to get back together. Another one was a canyon run. She did pretty fucking good in the passenger seat, no issues since then. Now if they get a little froggy, I just turn up the driving until just before boiling, then back to normal. Usually fixes it right up. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:32:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: HKaltwasser]
[#5]
I voted the wife is like ice. Then I had her view the options, and she says sometimes but it's contained. I was right, but only on her outward emotions, she contains it. She doesn't spit it like other women do.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:36:39 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By HKaltwasser: I voted the wife is like ice. Then I had her view the options, and she says sometimes but it's contained. I was right, but only on her outward emotions, she contains it. She doesn't spit it like other women do.  Attached File |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:39:16 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SAE]
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By osprey21: lol She calms right down after I backhand her.  Semper Evictis El-demon.. 
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:40:53 PM EDT
[#8]
Only occasionally. Usually when I decide that it's time to explore the wide wide world of oversteer.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:42:17 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Spiffums: Dated a girl in college who started panting like a dog and going EEEEH EEEH EEEEH every time I was coming to a red light. I took her right back home. I thought I'm not putting up with this shit no matter how big those 19 year old tittes are!  Attached File |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 9:58:26 PM EDT
[#10]
When my wife has her passenger tantrums and screams about some imagined collision I just yell at the top of my lungs "OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE." This usually shuts her up for several hours.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:07:50 PM EDT
[#11]
Sounds normal.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:09:54 PM EDT
[#12]
Me, my wife does.
I have done the stop and offer to have her drive thing. I have done the “ you ain't seen nothing yet” thing. Nothing worked for any significant time. Nothing until I waited for her to get engrossed in her phone before doing the “slam on the brakes at 80 mph while slaloming the lane dividing lines and yelling OH F#%*” thing. That seems to have worked so far, but she still gets involuntary flinches occasionally. |
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USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:15:34 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Spiffums: Dated a girl in college who started panting like a dog and going EEEEH EEEH EEEEH every time I was coming to a red light. I took her right back home. I thought I'm not putting up with this shit no matter how big those 19 year old tittes are! Yeah, it’s always been a red line. It earns a quick shut the fuck up from me. Also keep your feet off my fucking dashboard. Always. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:16:56 PM EDT
[#14]
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:17:00 PM EDT
[#15]
Driving along with the family. Out of the blue "AHHHHHHH!" My head's turning 360, kids are looking. Nothing.
She "You were to close to that car" WTF! |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:24:53 PM EDT
[#16]
Many years ago I was driving with my first ex-wife and hit a stretch of ice and spun. She promptly yells at me to stop doing this. To which I replied I am working on it. I got us slowed down and headed the right way without hitting anything.
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USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:25:12 PM EDT
[#17]
I had to tell my wife if she can't knock it off, we are going home.
She thought I was over reacting when I turned around and went home instead of going out to dinner. Did it a dozen times with no improvement. Then FINALLY I did it when we were on the way to one of her friends wedding. I told her if she wanted to she could get in her car and go by herself but I can't have her in the car with me and I won't drive with her because she's a scary fucking driver. She missed the wedding and I just went and got lunch. Since then if I tell her to knock it off or were going home, she actually knocks it off. Same deal, freaking out over minor shit but sounds like somebody is driving right at us going 100mph based upon her over reaction. |
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FL, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:26:39 PM EDT
[#18]
I can barely hear her wailing over my carefully crafted expletives directed at my fellow travelers. Kind of like noise cancelling headphones but louder.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:27:04 PM EDT
[#19]
My wife never complains of my driving but it's not, necessarily, that she's got "ice water in her veins"; she's just too engrossed in whatever else she's doing (reading a book or staring at her phone). ...coincidentally, those same traits are why her driving scares the shit out of me. :D
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:28:37 PM EDT
[#20]
Nope, I have towed our camper down some really sketchy sections of canyon roads but she was always relatively calm.
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:41:18 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rival14: I say this, until I get a ticket or get into a wreck STFU seriously. usually never goes over well.  “Only people I’ve killed with a car get to comment on my driving.” My wife also has a built-in driving feature that allows her to spot and announce the presence of MFers, dumbasses, dickheads, bastards, dumb bitches, etc. There are a lot of those people on the road. That feature doesn’t have a mute button, sadly. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:50:12 PM EDT
[#22]
Samesies. Mine does almost everything mentioned in this thread.
She screams bloody murder if I close a gap in front to barely less than a 2 second following distance, despite the fact that closing down the gap to around 2 is about all you can do where I’m based to keep the frequent lane changers from squeezing in front, which makes her scream even louder. I’d like to think I steer and brake very smoothly, I was taught to drive like there was an egg under the gas pedal back when fuel was much, much more expensive than now (relatively speaking). Plus driving has been a very large portion of my job for 25 years, most of them over 40K miles a year, and (knock on wood) zero wrecks. I’m a constant mirror-looker, and have even avoided getting rear-ended in traffic jams a few times by swerving to avoid those behind me who were not paying attention until the end. Here’s the funniest part: When our German friends come visit us (you, know those who blast up and down the Autobahn in their BMWs) they absolutely refuse to drive in Houston (too many idiots clogging the left lane, plus too many beater jalopies on the road shedding pieces and parts). So they always ask for ME to meet them at the airport and they ask me to drive everywhere they go outside of their local area. They set me up with memory profiles in their (bougie German luxury) cars they keep stateside so I’m easily accommodated when we travel together. It makes my significant other SO ANGRY when they tell her how safe and comfortable they feel when I’m driving. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:52:45 PM EDT
[Last Edit: hockeysew]
[#23]
Sit down
Put on your seat belt Shut up When I met my wife I was chasing wrecks in a tow truck. I did shit in a F350 wrecker you could only imagine. Later I spent 24 years with a DOT, 18 of those years in a plow and 12 of those 18 as a driver trainer. I have not had a traffic violation in 35+ years. I have never been involved in an accident where I was at fault. And she still doesn’t understand that there is no brake pedal on the right side of the truck after 42+ years. Sit down Put on your seat belt Shut the fuck up |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 10:53:47 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 6EQUJ5: I had to tell my wife if she can't knock it off, we are going home. She thought I was over reacting when I turned around and went home instead of going out to dinner. Did it a dozen times with no improvement. Then FINALLY I did it when we were on the way to one of her friends wedding. I told her if she wanted to she could get in her car and go by herself but I can't have her in the car with me and I won't drive with her because she's a scary fucking driver. She missed the wedding and I just went and got lunch. Since then if I tell her to knock it off or were going home, she actually knocks it off. Same deal, freaking out over minor shit but sounds like somebody is driving right at us going 100mph based upon her over reaction. |
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Posted: 8/26/2024 11:02:26 PM EDT
[#25]
My wife is one of those drivers whose first reaction to any driving situation is to slam on the brakes. She will follow an 18-wheeler for 30 miles because she is afraid to pass it.
 Her biggest problem when I'm driving is she can't get her head out of whatever the hell it is she is looking at on her phone. She sees things out of the corner of her eye that I have already seen, assessed, and dealt with. Her screams will cause an incident before my driving.
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AZ, USA
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Posted: 8/26/2024 11:29:58 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Kilroytheknifesnob: If the person who knows you best acts like that when you’re driving, maybe you should drive better. Someone got caught responding while the wife was looking over their shoulder.😂 |
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USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:13:18 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By QueenDeNile: What a dick move. Men's reaction time is nearly double of women's. She's scared and your answer is to treat her like a child? My husband's driving scares me too. I just ask him to slow down a little and I'm no longer scared. She wants to act like a child, that is how she will be treated. I'm probably the most defensive driver you've ever seen. I like to pay attention to what is going on so when she blurts out "watch out for that car" when I've already seen it, it's distracting. If it wasn't constant and unreasonable, it wouldn't be a problem. But I'm not gonna put either of us at risk because she can't control her "whatever." But when she's driving, and getting ready to do something pretty bad like blow through a red light, I just calmly ask if she plans on stopping for this one or not? If I acted like her every time she started to do something "iffy" in traffic she'd have driven us off a bridge a decade ago. Sorry your husband is a dick, doesn't mean I'm one. I actually drive the speed limit or less if road conditions warrant it. I have never been in a car accident in my life. My wife had wrecked 8 cars, 6 of them were her fault. She's not an exceptional driver but she thinks she is. Oh btw, regarding "reaction times." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198384/ The mean fastest reaction time recorded by men was significantly faster than women (p<0.001). At the 99.9% confidence level, neither men nor women can react in 100 ms, but they can react in as little as 109 ms and 121 ms, respectively. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:20:13 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 6EQUJ5: She wants to act like a child, that is how she will be treated. I'm probably the most defensive driver you've ever seen. I like to pay attention to what is going on so when she blurts out "watch out for that car" when I've already seen it, it's distracting. If it wasn't constant and unreasonable, it wouldn't be a problem. But I'm not gonna put either of us at risk because she can't control her "whatever." But when she's driving, and getting ready to do something pretty bad like blow through a red light, I just calmly ask if she plans on stopping for this one or not? If I acted like her every time she started to do something "iffy" in traffic she'd have driven us off a bridge a decade ago. Sorry your husband is a dick, doesn't mean I'm one. I actually drive the speed limit or less if road conditions warrant it. I have never been in a car accident in my life. My wife had wrecked 8 cars, 6 of them were her fault. She's not an exceptional driver but she thinks she is. Oh btw, regarding "reaction times." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198384/ The mean fastest reaction time recorded by men was significantly faster than women (p<0.001). At the 99.9% confidence level, neither men nor women can react in 100 ms, but they can react in as little as 109 ms and 121 ms, respectively. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 6EQUJ5: Originally Posted By QueenDeNile: What a dick move. Men's reaction time is nearly double of women's. She's scared and your answer is to treat her like a child? My husband's driving scares me too. I just ask him to slow down a little and I'm no longer scared. She wants to act like a child, that is how she will be treated. I'm probably the most defensive driver you've ever seen. I like to pay attention to what is going on so when she blurts out "watch out for that car" when I've already seen it, it's distracting. If it wasn't constant and unreasonable, it wouldn't be a problem. But I'm not gonna put either of us at risk because she can't control her "whatever." But when she's driving, and getting ready to do something pretty bad like blow through a red light, I just calmly ask if she plans on stopping for this one or not? If I acted like her every time she started to do something "iffy" in traffic she'd have driven us off a bridge a decade ago. Sorry your husband is a dick, doesn't mean I'm one. I actually drive the speed limit or less if road conditions warrant it. I have never been in a car accident in my life. My wife had wrecked 8 cars, 6 of them were her fault. She's not an exceptional driver but she thinks she is. Oh btw, regarding "reaction times." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3198384/ The mean fastest reaction time recorded by men was significantly faster than women (p<0.001). At the 99.9% confidence level, neither men nor women can react in 100 ms, but they can react in as little as 109 ms and 121 ms, respectively. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:28:32 AM EDT
[#29]
My wife is USUALLY cool as passenger.
She's done some racing- on ICE, so she knows what a car can be MADE to do, even with all 4 wheels loose. Usally cool as a cucumber, but there have been some occasional pleas for sanity: Once rented a 2011 Mercury Marquis, was shredding the tires and smoking the brakes on California 20 from Willits to Fort Bragg ( Dramamine Highway) Car was BRAND NEW a week out from Portland Airport, we were on way back west from Reno, and we were PAINTING the road with 4 badly overheated michelins. She asked if I could back off a bit, as the burning brakes were giving her a headache. |
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CA, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:28:55 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By MilHouse-556: Yes. She still doesn't believe me that I could have been a race car driver in another life. It's OK I'll keep trying to convince her. I was a race car driver in another life. A championship winning race car driver, then a driving coach for almost 20 years. As a mechanic that test drives cars all day, I've probably driven several million miles. I've never been in an accident off of a race track. My wife still freaks the fuck out in the passenger seat. I regularly tell her to take a deep breath. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:33:07 AM EDT
[#31]
When pulling out in traffic she will almost yell telling me some weird thing that hasn’t anything to do with my driving.
It scares the hell out of me because thinking going to get hit. On trips she has bitched for hours about the route I take because it’s so easy to go this other way. Finally pulled over to get gas and told her to drive and she say no I don’t know where to go. Told to figure it out and drive |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:44:53 AM EDT
[#32]
All the fuckin time.
Omg watch out! Omg look out! Slow down! You're too close to that car! Are you seriously trying to race that guy?! 
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Posted: 8/27/2024 12:49:25 AM EDT
[#33]
Similar experience here...I have to prep her on the highway when I'm about to pass someone.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:04:54 AM EDT
[#34]
Yep, and its fucking annoying.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:05:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Jodan1776]
[#35]
Fine woman, but she sure does do a lot of lurching. Drive along a multi-lane highway, car 2 lanes over moves over into lane next us; she is coming out of her seat. Doesn't understand the physics difference between hitting something going your speed and direction vs a head-on collision. Treats all possible contacts (which never actually happen) as potential head-on collisions. Country roads not too bad overall, but she's a wreck on multi-lane highways.
Funny thing is, as a passenger in a 2-seat GA plane, she was always 100% cool, even when things weren't "ideal". Different environment, I guess. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:17:32 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By GreenGoose: Women shouldn’t be allowed to drive or vote. Who knew? That'd be one helluva start. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:22:51 AM EDT
[#37]
Nah, mine used to laugh the more aggressively I drove.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:35:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: HammerHammer]
[#38]
I once had the distinct pleasure of driving my girlfriend around in her FWD car for the first experience she’d ever had in snow. We were on a slight incline starting out and I couldn’t get the car to track straight so I got it moving and hit the e-brake to shift us in the right direction, which worked great and from then on we were more-or-less driving forward like it was dry pavement. She sobbed for twenty minutes straight and then started cussing me up and down for trying to kill her.
That’s still nothing compared to trying to drive my offshore boat through a very rough cut on a steep outgoing tide and my then-current GF freaking out and jerking the throttle lever into neutral “because it’s too rough”. Everything was fine until we suddenly lost all power and steering. That nearly made me a believer in the merits of domestic violence. That throttle lever was the only real obstacle standing between us and certain death, but she decided based on no experience that standing still was apparently much better than quartering into the breakers.  For anyone unfamiliar with the situation, the only thing keeping your powerboat floating on rough seas is the engine and a captain who knows what he’s doing; pulling it suddenly to neutral in a rough cut is basically akin to intentionally sinking your boat. I understand that some women know how to drive but I do not think it’s reasonable to assume that most of them can. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:40:56 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Nefarious1: I can barely hear her wailing over my carefully crafted expletives directed at my fellow travelers. Kind of like noise cancelling headphones but louder.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 1:58:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Jodan1776]
[#40]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Positronic: My wife is USUALLY cool as passenger. She's done some racing- on ICE, so she knows what a car can be MADE to do, even with all 4 wheels loose. Usally cool as a cucumber, but there have been some occasional pleas for sanity: Once rented a 2011 Mercury Marquis, was shredding the tires and smoking the brakes on California 20 from Willits to Fort Bragg ( Dramamine Highway) Car was BRAND NEW a week out from Portland Airport, we were on way back west from Reno, and we were PAINTING the road with 4 badly overheated michelins. She asked if I could back off a bit, as the burning brakes were giving her a headache.  We went up the Mount Washington Auto Road once. Barely wide enough for 2 cars to meet, big dropoffs, lots of scared idiots who can't drive who are straddling the center line. Coming back down, some dipshit with NY plates was crawling along, so I punched it and squeezed by. Even then, she didn't react too badly; maybe because it was so quick. But she says she'll never go there again. |
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AR, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 2:10:31 AM EDT
[#41]
Not us.
Mine knew I was a racer when we met, and got her time on track after we were married. In over 35 years she reacted negatively to my driving one time. On our honeymoon I was driving us down PCH from San Francisco to Riverside. About two hours in she politely and calmly said, "Sweetie, I trust your driving completely, but could you please dial it back a little?" "The views are beautiful, but the drop off on this side is pretty intimidating."  I was a little reluctant, but did slow down a bit. After lunch, she took a turn at the wheel and I found that she was right. The drop offs were a bit intimidating.
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VA, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 2:20:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Pokernut]
[#42]
She pumps the air brakes and grabs the oh shit handle. When she drives she tailgates the shit out of people and changes lanes when she is barely clear. If I drove like she does she would not stop running her mouth. For all the shit she talks she could not back into a parking spot to save her life and pulling straight into one is not much better. It is what it is.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 2:34:44 AM EDT
[#43]
Nope
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Posted: 8/27/2024 2:41:16 AM EDT
[#44]
OP just do this.
 Highway Scare Prank on Wife (ORIGINAL VIDEO) |
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KS, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 2:52:06 AM EDT
[#45]
She loses her mind when I drive and I just ignore her.
I most enjoy completely not reacting when she slams the brakes, jerks the wheel and generally drives like shit to the point of apologizing. |
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CO, USA
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Posted: 8/27/2024 4:26:58 AM EDT
[#46]
So OP, have you ever considered that you may be a shitty driver?
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Posted: 8/27/2024 4:50:08 AM EDT
[#47]
Not to often Drives are much better when she has her nose in the phone and isn't looking.
But when she's talking all that girl take the task at hand is not to lose your shit. |
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Posted: 8/27/2024 4:58:00 AM EDT
[#48]
Let’s just put it this way I will never go to Colorado again.
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Posted: 8/27/2024 5:49:12 AM EDT
[#49]
In 20 years of driving the only time I've had a passenger freak out was my mother when I first got my learner's permit. After that little incident I didn't drive with her in the car for a few years until she got sick. Has it ever occurred to any of you that maybe you're not as good as you think you are?
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Posted: 8/27/2024 6:39:09 AM EDT
[#50]
Mine does it.
She's also wrecked my truck 3 times. Almost ripped off the right fender backing out and hit a gate. The other 2 vehicles has " mystery " dents,curb rash on the wheels etc... I've yet to do anything similar. When she freaks out I just ask her. . How many times have you wrecked? .it shuts her up. |
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