My kids bugged us to go to Target because their website said they had a nintendo switch in stock.   Seeing as how we are going to kill them if we don't find something for them to do we figured we would buy it.    We get there and the entire section is cleaned out.  No nintendo, xbox, ps4, nothing.  Looks like we aren't the only ones!

Oh well,  we can always make more kids if we have to kill the ones we have.  Since we are here, let's see if they are still cleaned out of the usual stuff and of course they are.  No rice, beans, cold medicine, hand sanitizer, bleach, disinfectant. etc..  Same story as everywhere else.

Then I hear Karen.  She is talking to/at an employee in what starts out as a firm, controlled but civil voice.  She looks to be about her late 40's/early 50's with dyed blond hair which was surprisingly NOT done in the typical Karen haircut but in a longer style.  Karenoflage?

"Excuse me, do you have any clorox disinfecting wipes?"  The poor kid she pinioned gives the expected answer:
"No, I'm sorry we are out".   Nice polite kid.  Karen speaks again, her voice more strident, more demanding this time.

"I just looked online and it SAID you HAD some!!"  Still pretending to be polite but her tone says "you better change your tune or there will be hell to pay".

"No maam we are all out"

"Well can you go check in the back PLEASE!?!?!"   She managed to make "please" sound like "or else".  Clearly, Karen had experience in these matters.

"Sorry maam but all our stock is out.  Whatever we have is on the shelf".  You can tell the kid knows what's coming.  He's met Karen before.

Karen's demeanor changes.  She squares off to the poor kid,  points a finger at his face and says in a louder voice.

"I drove all the way out here (probably 5 minutes worth of driving around here) and now you're telling me you don't have any?!  This is ridiculous!  I need to speak to a manager! "

You could practically hear the poor kid rolling his eyes because Karen seems to think the manager can pull a can of disinfecting wipes out of his ass.  Mind you this is at 1pm, the store has been open for hours and anything they had this morning is long gone.  The entire world knows this, except for Karen.   In Karen's world, shortages happen to other people.  Karen gets what she wants, when she wants it, epidemics be damned.

I would not have believed it if it hadn't happened right in front of me.  Karen is real, she is out there and SHE WANTS TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER.

If you encounter Karen in the wild, give Karen wide berth and leave the area.  Or she WILL speak to your manager.

Anybody else run into Karen today?

File photo of Karen for field identification purposes.  Actual hairstyle may vary:

Like most people I worked a retail job when I was a teenager. It forever shaped how I interact with anybody in a retail setting, I remember the feeling of relief to this day when you got to interact with the 1 out of 10 customers who weren't rude and/or functionally retarded. I always did whatever I could to go above and beyond for them too.

This wholeheartedly why I believe a person should work retail for at least 6mo to a year at some point in their life.

REAL MVP. Same goes for me.

This x2

Sounds like the lady that walked up while I was waiting in line to get into Walmart yesterday. She announces to the guy manning the door and everyone within earshot, “I’m not standing in this line! These people should all be 6 feet apart according to the CDC!”
The guy said, “In that case you can stand 6 feet behind the last person in line.”
We all laughed, she left.

If you will please give me your telephone number, I can arrange for my manager to call you.

Unfortunately, there might be a 24 to 48 hour delay on the callback.

That's because of all of the other managerial complaints recently.

Then she goes thermonuclear.

I have some disinfecting wipes and Karen can suck my dick for them,but she will need to toss in a doughnut to seal the deal

Air 5 to that guy!

FPNI

As up until this year I was still a teenager this memory is fresher to me...

Going out to pick up the essentials

My first job was a grocery store, I always walked to the back and came back because if I just told the people there wasn't any in the back even though I knew it they would be bitchy and often get someone else to check and complain about me.

Same here.

Karen's are going to have a rough go of it. Especially the single, bitter and angry ones.

Yeah with the way modern grocery stores run their shipping, if it’s not stocked it’s almost guaranteed not in the back. Unless the truck just came in.

I would always run back and look, and find nothing (duh), and then say there wasn’t any.

Butcher in a retail store here.
I see it daily.
Yeah, I'm hiding the ground beef in the back until you leave.

I would have started coughing uncontrollably.

I'd suggest a front kick to her front butt, followed by yanking on her fun bags then a foot sweep and finish with a tea bag.

A couple of months ago I had a Karen in front of me in line play the I want to speak to the manager. I interrupted her and told her the manager was Ray Charleston and I had his cell number and said he was most likely not in the office.

The I turned to the cashier and said I had forgotten an item and would be right back

I gave Karen MY cell number and took off. Of course she called it and from maybe 50 feet away I answered it on the 3rd ring.

"Ray Charleston," I answered.

After she was done with her spiel I asked her to turn her head to the left which she did.

"Good. Now we have your face on our facial recognition software. You are at register 4 and we have recorded the entire conversation you had with the cashier, who happens to be my aunt by the way. Pay for your stuff and leave. You have 5 minutes. If the  software picks your face up again I will have you arrested for trespassing."

She looked shocked, paid and fled like the devil was chasing her.

When I got back to the register the cashier looked at me and said, "The manager's name isn't Ray Charleston."

She rang up my stuff and when I paid her she looked at me wide eyed and said, "That was your cell phone you gave her, wasn't it?"

It will ruin your Christmas spirit and possibly Halloween and Thanksgiving for decades if you work retail during the holidays.

I offered to trade disinfecting wipes for sex and when she pulled up her skirt I said "Where's the wipes?"

I have seen that sorry situation before.

After the 2nd time I would have just turned around and walked off.

Karen's of the country are gonna be in for a rude awakening if this goes on much longer.

Wife went to wally world yesterday morning and said it was like black friday on steroids.  We went this morning and it was not bad, about 20 standing at the door for the opening.

TP was rationed at 1 per customer but we did not get any, we are good on that.

Got 3 one lb bags of pintos they did not blink when ringing them up even though there were not many left after I got them, and walked by later and think they were gone.

well, that was refreshing.  well done.

I did this any number of times when I was a kid and worked at the local supermarket.

A couple time I found what they were looking for but told her we were out anyway.

Seeing eye cat rides again !!

Or run to the back to check and find something else to do till Karen vacates the premises.

I worked in a grocery store for about 6 years.  This is the only correct answer.  I’d take my sweet time “looking” in the back.

Good one!

Not sure about the teabag, remember karen views you as subhuman and would gleefully and proudly bite them off.  Other than that I fully agree.

It depends... on a few things.. district manager, store manager, and what you have as door busters.

My favorite day is when the sporting goods store I worked for had $39 Uggs for black Friday.  I felt so bad for the shoe people.. but all they did was stack everything and just stand back and watch.  It was epic.  It was like WWF with MILFS.

Try working at Staples during back to school.

Working hard to bring you quality content.

Same here.

That was pretty good...………...next time, tell them to ask for Hugh Jass

12 years in retail and the worst of the American consumer was the Middle aged white female.

As a customer.. this is also the perfect time to assert your dominance on Karen with some snarky humorous remark or comment.. or a simple "I was here earlier, they did have some, but it was gone in minutes"  Save the kid.. he will become your personal retail servant for that trip.

They are all alike, too.   Is there something out there that turns normal women into Karen?  Karenovirus?

lol

You guys wanna know why I’m so fucked up?

10 years of retail.

Yuck.

I worked retail when I was in High School during the 1980s, back when people were more polite, considerate and disciplined (and it sucked). I don't want to imagine the hell retail is now with how our society behaves these days.

Asshoe's gonna asshoe.

Yes Karen is bad but at dealerships the worst is the “I’m friends with the owner” guy or the retired boomer types who have nothing better to do than camp out in the waiting room, consume free donuts and coffee and complain about everything then slam the surveys.

Many store employees will set aside stuff in the back to purchase when their shift is over. It was supposedly a no no but was mostly over looked. Hence it will still be showing as in stock online until the employee pays for it.
Starter wife worked at Target and told me all secrets.

Its called hysterical.

Maybe age? If I was in still in high school and an early 20s babe came and made some requests I’d try and accommodate it if I could chat her up a bit more.

Once they balloon out and their tits flop they may still expect that same service...I’m not so happy to oblige when I know the answer.

Who know.

OK, you win the ARFnet.    LOL