What are some good drinking toasts you’ve heard - Page 1

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - What are some good drinking toasts you’ve heard (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:26:25 PM EDT

One that sticks with me was from a roommate at Camp LeJeune.

We were sitting on a park bench drinking beer watching a sand volleyball game.

He says here’s a toast to us today Tesseract.

He goes on.

“Here’s a toast to you from me, may we never disagree, but if we do, fuck you here’s to me”.

It was a good laugh.

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:27:54 PM EDT

[#1]

“Here’s to swimmin with bow legged women”

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:28:42 PM EDT

[#2]

"To all the kisses we've snatched and all the snatches we've kissed."

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:29:47 PM EDT

[#3]

Here's to you, and here's to me, and if we happen to disagree, fuck you and here's to me.

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:31:09 PM EDT

[#4]

Here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to Hell!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:31:12 PM EDT

[#5]

"Here's to honor!

Get on her, stay on her... and if you can't cum in her, cum on her!"

(That's one of my bookie's favorites. She's fun. )

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:31:48 PM EDT

[#6]

Here's to those who wish us well
and all the rest an go to hell

damn it beat like a step child

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:31:56 PM EDT

[#7]

Also:

"Here's to nipples! Without them, tits would be pointless."

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:32:52 PM EDT

[#8]

"Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends"

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:33:02 PM EDT

[#9]

Over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach here it comes!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:34:29 PM EDT

[#10]

Over the teeth through the gums watch out stomach here it comes!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:34:53 PM EDT

[#11]

Toast for a girlfriend…

The birds do it, the bees do it and die.
The dogs do it and get hung to it, so why not you and I.

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:37:13 PM EDT

[#12]

To our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:44:45 PM EDT

[#13]

Awful one from my fraternity

"to the dogs!
if my dog could piss this stuff
and if my dog could piss enough
I'd tie his balls to the bed
and suck his d*ck till we both drop dead
to the dogs!"

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:46:36 PM EDT

[#14]

To pussy and gunpowder, Live by one, die by the other And love the smell of both

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:47:59 PM EDT

[#15]

To lesbians and virgins- thanks for nothing!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:48:21 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
“Here’s to swimmin with bow legged women”

View Quote

Specifically came here for this one. I’m not a good toaster but every year I use that one around my wife and her friends. Seems to go over well

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:49:10 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
To lesbians and virgins- thanks for nothing!

View Quote

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:51:53 PM EDT

[#18]

Here’s to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinking…If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to drink, drink with me.”

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:54:03 PM EDT

[#19]

Here's to a man named Dave
He kept a dead whore in a cave
You gotta admit, the bitch stank like shit
But look at all the money Dave saved
Here's to Dave!

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:56:58 PM EDT

[#20]

To the bitches, hoes, and tricks. I wouldn’t talk to any of you if I didn’t have a dick.

Posted: 1/14/2022 7:57:31 PM EDT

[#21]

Here is to rattlesnakes and condoms. Two things I don't fuck with.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:01:57 PM EDT

[#22]

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy, Oi Oi Oi!

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:04:54 PM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
To lesbians and virgins- thanks for nothing!

View Quote

Attached File

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:05:12 PM EDT

[#24]

Cheers!

Skoal!

La Hiam!!

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:05:19 PM EDT

[#25]

To those who love us, may they always love us.
To those who don't, may god break their leg, so we'll know them by their limp.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:12:49 PM EDT

[#26]

Here's to the hole that never heals,
the more you rub it,the better it feels.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:12:58 PM EDT

[#27]

Wang Chi:
Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run.

Jack Burton:
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:13:33 PM EDT

[#28]

May your bleeding piles distress you.
May corns adorn your feet.
May flies as big as coconuts grow on your balls and eat.
And when you're old and weary and a syphilitic wreck,
May your spine fall through your asshole and break your f*cking neck.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:13:39 PM EDT

[#29]

Friends may come and friends may go
And friends may peter out you know
But we'll always be friends
Through thick and thin
Peter out or peter in

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:16:08 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy, Oi Oi Oi!

View Quote

Prost!

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:17:45 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
To those who love us, may they always love us.
To those who don't, may god break their leg, so we'll know them by their limp.

View Quote

I always heard it “….may God turn their hearts. And if he can’t turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles. So we know them by their limping”

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:19:02 PM EDT

[#32]

"If you're going to lie, lie to save a friend.
If you're going to cheat, cheat death.
If you're going to steal, steal a maiden's heart.
But if you're going to drink, drink with me."

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:19:21 PM EDT

[#33]

My 96 year old grandma said this one at my cousin's wedding. She said she heard it when she was a young girl.

Here's to eve, the mother of our race
Who wore a fig leaf in the proper place
And here's to adam, the father of us all
Who was Johnny on the spot when the leaves began to fall.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:20:32 PM EDT

[#34]

One of our pilot flying toasts:

Here's to us when we sit, ponder and think
And here's to us when we party, carouse, and drink
And when my flying days are over
And they plant me under the grass
I hope they bury me upside-down so the world can kiss my ass....

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:22:30 PM EDT

[#35]

I'll eat when I'm hungry, I'll drink when I'm dry, if this whiskey don't kill me I'll live till I die.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:26:09 PM EDT

[#36]

Salud y pesos y mujeres sin ropas.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:30:54 PM EDT

[#37]

Of all the money that e'er spent,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm that I e'er did,
Alas it to none but me.
And since it falls, unto my lot
That I should rise, and you should not.
I'll gently rise, and softly call,
Goodnight, and joy be with you all.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:31:27 PM EDT

[#38]

Said this at a wedding when i was the best man.

When they were young and in their prime
They got all the time.
Now they are married and getting grey.
They won't even get it once a day.

The reception hall roared!

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:34:29 PM EDT

[#39]

Some seriously funny toasts here.

I’m going to memorize a few of them.

/cheers

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:36:51 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy, Oi Oi Oi!

View Quote

I came to post this.

Lol.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:36:58 PM EDT

[#41]

God made Adam, made him out of string, had a little left so he left a little thing.

God made Eve, made her out of lace, didn't have enough so he left a little space.

Here's to space!

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:37:11 PM EDT

[#42]

"To our friends and family. Those that are here, and those that can't be. We remember."

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:40:29 PM EDT

[#43]

SUM

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:43:54 PM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:
"To our friends and family. Those that are here, and those that can't be. We remember."

View Quote

I think on this one “we remember” should be replaced with “, your memory sincere”.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:50:14 PM EDT

[#45]

May we be who our dogs think we are.

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:52:05 PM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:
"Here's to honor!

Get on her, stay on her... and if you can't cum in her, cum on her!"

(That's one of my bookie's favorites. She's fun. )

View Quote

I heard that one as, “To honor. On her back or on her belly if you can’t cum in her come on her.”

Posted: 1/14/2022 8:54:19 PM EDT

[#47]

Here's to Brother Tesseract, Brother Tesseract, Brother Tesseract.
Here's to Brother Tesseract who's with us tonight.
He's happy!
He's jolly!
He's fucked up by golly!
So here's to Brother Tesseract who's with us tonight.
Drink motherfucker!
Drink motherfucker!
Drink motherfucker!
Drink!