[ARCHIVED THREAD] - When you get a divorce questions... (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 3/15/2020 4:26:48 PM EDT
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My wife and I are divorcing after 41 years of marriage.....Not gonna work out
I am on SS retirement check and have a small pension. Will she get half of all of it? We own a house and a car jointly, neither are paid off. I guess we will sell them and split? I need a lawyer to help me. I am gonna offer 50/50... |
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Way too many variables. Does she work ? have her own retirement ? stay at home all her life? She worked about 35 years. she has no income but will start drawing her SS in August. |
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How in the hell does anyone get divorced after 41 years? Christ live in different parts of the home. That is a long time. As far as the assets, that is going to depend on the state you live in and how nice you actually want to be to each other after all of these years...
Hell neither one of us has any family left to speak of..and we have only been married for 32 years.. Good luck, sorry to hear this.., |
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Quoted: she does not work now....I brought her home because she wanted to be a housewife. She worked about 35 years. she has no income but will start drawing her SS in August. |
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My wife and I are divorcing after 41 years of marriage.....Not gonna work out I am on SS retirement check and have a small pension. Will she get half of all of it? We own a house and a car jointly, neither are paid off. I guess we will sell them and split? I need a lawyer to help me. I am gonna offer 50/50... 
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Sorry man. Here is what happened for me. I was divorced in South Carolina so I’m not sure how much is applicable to Alabama. 1. All debt added and split 50/50. Doesn’t matter if she has $ 50, 000 in hidden credit card debt because you are getting 1/2 of it. 2. She got 1/2 of my 401K. She had a choice to roll it into her own or cash it out. She is a dumb fucking redneck so she cashed it out and bought a camper with some of it. She had never been camping a day in her life.... but her boyfriend had.
3. She got 1/2 of my pension. She cashed that out too. 4. She had the option to buy out my half of the equity of the house and keep it or we sell the house and split the equity left over after closing and all commissions paid. 5. Cars are a bargaining tool for debt relief or asset gains for either party. 6. I got fucked but I got freedom. ETA... attorneys can factor in what her potential earnings are even though she isn’t currently working. |
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How in the hell does anyone get divorced after 41 years? Christ live in different parts of the home. That is a long time. As far as the assets, that is going to depend on the state you live in and how nice you actually want to be to each other after all of these years... Hell neither one of us has any family left to speak of..and we have only been married for 32 years.. Good luck, sorry to hear this.., |
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I can't offer any insight as to how much of what you'll have to pay her, but I can offer some insight into the tax implications of any alimony or separate maintenance payments you do end up paying her.
IRS clarification on alimony payments As of January 1, 2019, any alimony or separate maintenance payments are not deductible from the income of the paying spouse, nor are they reported as income for the recipient spouse, for divorces granted after December 31, 2018. So, if you do have to pay her alimony, you'll foot any tax bill on the income and she'll won't. If half of your SS benefits plus your other income exceeds $25,000, part of your SS benefits will be taxable. In the past, you could then deduct what you paid in alimony, but not for divorces granted after 12/31/2018. If you do pay her alimony and her only other source of income is her SS, she won't have any tax liability, whatsoever. |
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I can't offer any insight as to how much of what you'll have to pay her, but I can offer some insight into the tax implications of any alimony or separate maintenance payments you do end up paying her. IRS clarification on alimony payments As of January 1, 2019, any alimony or separate maintenance payments are not deductible from the income of the paying spouse, nor are they reported as income for the recipient spouse, for divorces granted after December 31, 2018. So, if you do have to pay her alimony, you'll foot any tax bill on the income and she'll won't. If half of your SS benefits plus your other income exceeds $25,000, part of your SS benefits will be taxable. In the past, you could then deduct what you paid in alimony, but not for divorces granted after 12/31/2018. If you do pay her alimony and her only other source of income is her SS, she won't have any tax liability, whatsoever. |
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Quoted: No If you have fought this hard for 41 years, unless she is absolutely determined to leave, fight like a mad dog to keep it together. If the marriage has been mostly pleasant for those 41 years, what do either of you have to gain by divorcing? Hell, unless she has her mind set on a new man, separate rooms and time will heal most anything else. |
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I guess my curiosity has me wondering if the pension is Gov/Military or other.
From most of the info I got the Military was split 50/50 after 10 years of marriage regardless of anything else (it has been knocked down but usually rare circumstance like the non military party made more income). Federal, usually a ratio of the number of years you were married while you were working. For them to really get that far again usually have to have a "long term marriage" for them to pursue it. I would imagine the SS will be divided as she gets half of yours and you get half of hers but not into that age group to look at it yet (no longer married either so never looked it up  ).
Everything you acquired together while married usually gets split 50/50. This can depend on state, like in NC you can be married for 24 hours and she automatically owns half your stuff. If you both agree to eject the best solution is get the paper work for I think its called a "dissolution" but might have different terms in different states. Depending on state you may have to hire a lawyer, either way if you both sign it and goes before the judge and done deal. If you go to court both of you will lose more than what your trying to save in most cases. |
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Well, without knowing any details, I would say fight harder. If you have fought this hard for 41 years, unless she is absolutely determined to leave, fight like a mad dog to keep it together. If the marriage has been mostly pleasant for those 41 years, what do either of you have to gain by divorcing? Hell, unless she has her mind set on a new man, separate rooms and time will heal most anything else. Quoted:
Quoted: No If you have fought this hard for 41 years, unless she is absolutely determined to leave, fight like a mad dog to keep it together. If the marriage has been mostly pleasant for those 41 years, what do either of you have to gain by divorcing? Hell, unless she has her mind set on a new man, separate rooms and time will heal most anything else. AFIB last week because of this so said the cardiologist. |
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Quoted: I fought hard to keep alive 11 years ago when she did the same thing.....Can't take it anymore...I have already been hospitalized for stress related AFIB last week because of this so said the cardiologist. May God be with you in this time of need. I hope your health improves as well brother. 
If I can do anything to help, IM me. |
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Hmm...this is a bad one, bud. May God be with you in this time of need. I hope your health improves as well brother.
If I can do anything to help, IM me. Quoted:
Quoted: I fought hard to keep alive 11 years ago when she did the same thing.....Can't take it anymore...I have already been hospitalized for stress related AFIB last week because of this so said the cardiologist. May God be with you in this time of need. I hope your health improves as well brother.
If I can do anything to help, IM me. |
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41 years?
You both split everything down the middle. You will want to keep certain things and she will want to keep certain things. Your lawyers will help sort all that out. You're divorce should be pretty straight forward being married that long, you both work and assuming your children are out of the house. |
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My wife and I are divorcing after 41 years of marriage.....Not gonna work out I am on SS retirement check and have a small pension. Will she get half of all of it? We own a house and a car jointly, neither are paid off. I guess we will sell them and split? I need a lawyer to help me. I am gonna offer 50/50... Possibly yet another in a long line of dudes who opted for "I'm gonna let my wife stay home and raise kids while I work" getting fucked, because she get's 50% of what you earn and you get 50% of what she earns. Plus likely the kids + child support and of course, 50% of her nothing...is fucking nothing for you. Especially retarded are people who "let the wife stay home and watch the kids" and the wife never gets a job...and retirement rolls around (mid40s, etc.) the wife (who never worked) decides she likes Felipe the poolboy and leaves with 50% of your shit and 50% of your pension. You get...well, the blender and toaster. Because again...she's not working and has no 401K/Retirement/etc; you might be stuck paying alimony as well. I wouldn't offer her anything; make her work for every bit of what the law's going to allow. Just say, "okay--we're selling the house; you take one car and I'll take the other" and try to walk and see what happens. If she really wants to go--she'll be fine with that. If she's running around or has ulterior motives, she's going to take you to the cleaners, bro. Make sure you choose better next time. Although with 41 years of marriage; meh, you chose moderately good, it seems (unless there's more details you left out---like no sex for the last 20 years). |
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Dude...if you let your wife stay at home and didn't work/contribute to pension/retirement; you're fucking fucked. Possibly yet another in a long line of dudes who opted for "I'm gonna let my wife stay home and raise kids while I work" getting fucked, because she get's 50% of what you earn and you get 50% of what she earns. 50% of nothing...is fucking nothing. Especially retarded are people who "let the wife stay home and watch the kids" and the wife never gets a job...and retirement rolls around (mid40s, etc.) the wife (who never worked) decides she likes Felipe the poolboy and leaves with 50% of your shit and 50% of your pension. You get...well, the blender and toaster. Because again...she's not working and has no 401K/Retirement/etc. I wouldn't offer her anything; make her work for every bit of what the law's going to allow. Just say, "okay--we're selling the house; you take one car and I'll take the other" and try to walk and see what happens. If she really wants to go--she'll be fine with that. If she's running around or has ulterior motives, she's going to take you to the cleaners, bro. Make sure you choose better next time. Although with 41 years of marriage; meh, you chose moderately good, it seems (unless there's more details you left out---like no sex for the last 20 years). Quoted:
Quoted:
My wife and I are divorcing after 41 years of marriage.....Not gonna work out I am on SS retirement check and have a small pension. Will she get half of all of it? We own a house and a car jointly, neither are paid off. I guess we will sell them and split? I need a lawyer to help me. I am gonna offer 50/50... Possibly yet another in a long line of dudes who opted for "I'm gonna let my wife stay home and raise kids while I work" getting fucked, because she get's 50% of what you earn and you get 50% of what she earns. 50% of nothing...is fucking nothing. Especially retarded are people who "let the wife stay home and watch the kids" and the wife never gets a job...and retirement rolls around (mid40s, etc.) the wife (who never worked) decides she likes Felipe the poolboy and leaves with 50% of your shit and 50% of your pension. You get...well, the blender and toaster. Because again...she's not working and has no 401K/Retirement/etc. I wouldn't offer her anything; make her work for every bit of what the law's going to allow. Just say, "okay--we're selling the house; you take one car and I'll take the other" and try to walk and see what happens. If she really wants to go--she'll be fine with that. If she's running around or has ulterior motives, she's going to take you to the cleaners, bro. Make sure you choose better next time. Although with 41 years of marriage; meh, you chose moderately good, it seems (unless there's more details you left out---like no sex for the last 20 years). It's almost financial suicide to marry someone who isnt near your level of finances due to what you describe. My ex wife made near what I made and had similar retirement so I got out of divorce relatively unscathed but she was a health nightmare and a big spender and it bankrupted us back in our late 20s. Will be 41 this year, remarried last year to a women who is great in the sack, makes more money then me, has more retirement, not a big spender, both have 800+ credit scores. Life is good. OP things will get better man just get through this. You're never too young to start over. |
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She’ll get half of your pension. if you both work, then she'll get half yours and you'll get half hers.. a coworker's wife wanted a divorce from him (in GA) after 27 years of marriage.. he had some stuff and she had some stuff.. she had to give him half her 401K.. |
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OP, first of all get a lawyer yesterday.
Second, do not make any offers until you speak to your attorney and then all said offers should go through your attorney. Thirdly, I would strongly recommend you get a PO box with your name only on it at your closest post office. Have all of your legal correspondence go to that PO box. Fourthly, quit posting about your divorce on this and any other form of social media. And do not ask friends and relatives for advice, that’s what your attorney is for. |