User Panel
Posted: 4/6/2021 8:54:12 AM EDT
https://archive.is/PXQ65
“He’s not my type,” I said trying to justify my previous actions. “Why because he treats you well,” my friend said completely calling me out on my bullshit. But the truth was if I said I’m not attracted to him, he made it too easy and as much as the idea floated in my head considering it, I wasn’t interested. I wanted to be. I would have loved to say I left that date and went right home instead of right to the nearest fuckboys house who I had been seeing more off than on. And the only difference between these two guys was one kept me completely on my toes, one kept me guessing, one kept me playing this game I swore I hated. And I was more physically attracted to him than anyone I had ever met. The other answered every text quickly, paid for everything, opened my door and told me exactly how he felt and on many occasions dropped whatever he was doing if I asked. I cried that entire drive home. I cried because I knew what I deserved and I knew I was choosing the opposite. But the heart wants what it wants. And that was the problem. We claim we want a good and decent guy but when we meet him, we look for every reason we don’t want to give him a chance. Maybe it’s his appearance. Maybe it’s his demeanor. Maybe he’s exactly everything we want and need. But we dabble with the idea, liking them one day, then ignoring them the next. Blowing up their social media one day then doing the casual fade out. We like the attention but we don’t like it enough to reciprocate it. So we text them every few weeks just to boost our own confidence that they’ll answer and they do like us still. But to look at someone who would do anything for you and someone who says all the things we wish someone else would, it’s disrespecting and hurting the one person who wouldn’t do the same. I sat stag at an event looking more beautiful than ever and dropping more than I should have to impress someone who didn’t even respect me enough to show up. Again let down by the same person who continued to disappointment me. “I would have come if you needed me there,” I read in a text that made me smile and frown. Despite it being 3 hours away and me not even considering asking him in the first place, the other guy would have been there. I showed the text to my friend, “he might not be what you want but he’s what you deserve.” That statement stayed with me. Maybe we aren’t getting the person we deserve not out of bad luck but because we are choosing the wrong people. We throw all these great guys in the friendzone claiming there is no spark but we don’t even wanna see if there will be. We run from all the right things into the arms of the person who is completely wrong. My heart hurts for these guys. The ones who deserve the same type of love and affection they are willing to give. The guys who look at their best girl space friend and want nothing more than to delete that space and make them theirs. The guys who are there every time she gets hurt. And when she questions her self-worth because of some asshole who doesn’t see her beauty, you are perplexed. Because you look at this girl like she’s the most beautiful one there is. And no matter how much you tell her, she doesn’t believe you because it isn’t coming from the guy she wants to hear it from. You keep your feelings quietly tucked away because you aren’t what she wants, so you stay friends hoping and praying for the day maybe it will hit her that you can be more than someone who dries her tears. Maybe you can be the one who doesn’t cause them at all. My heart hurts for the guys who think they have to change and be an asshole because it seems that’s what girls want. To those guys I say, don’t change. Don’t do anything different than be exactly who you are. And don’t settle in love simply because someone couldn’t reciprocate all you have to give. Because one day someone will. And they’ll be everything you deserve. And when you introduce them to your girl space friend I promise the idea will cross her mind, “that could have been me.” And to the ladies who don’t give these good guys chances, one day you’re going to get tired of dating assholes and you’re going to look around at the person who was had been there the whole time and he’ll be gone. ETA: Bolding and italicizing is hers @AA717driver |
|
Interesting. My wife says I'm an asshole all the time and I don't have chicks throwing themselves at me.
|
|
The dating pool must need more chlorine. Glad I found a girl 20 years ago and married her. Neither of us is perfect, but we seem to be at least tolerant of each other.
|
|
Quoted: The dating pool must need more chlorine. Glad I found a girl 20 years ago and married her. Neither of us is perfect, but we seem to be at least tolerant of each other. View Quote I found mine 33 years ago and we are going to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary in May. Dating was a lot easier in college back in the 80s. None of this friendzone bullshit. Girls actually wanted to date somebody and have fun and not be bitches. |
|
Quoted: Women really do it to themselves. View Quote "I cried that entire drive home. I cried because I knew what I deserved and I knew I was choosing the opposite. But the heart wants what it wants. And that was the problem." correction: she deserves to be pumped&dumped because that's what she chooses |
|
that sounds like a dude wrote it. it's too on-the-nose as a guy's whine about why he's not getting laid, with no nuance or subtlety or anything to suggest that it comes from a different perspective.
|
|
So what she's saying is she's a skank and always will be. Up until the day the only thing that will pay any attention to her is the 10 cats that want fed.
When I was young I chased a girl who like that for several months. I don't know why but I had a raging boner for her. I cringe now every time I think of that. Thankfully I learned not to be a cuck after that. and yes she turned into a bar fly skank. |
|
Him: “have any plans on Friday after work?”
Her: “no, I’m free.” Him: “good, ‘cause I might call you.” (then don’t call her). That is how you have to do things. |
|
|
In a conversation with a hot girl, ask her: “so tell me more about your room mate.”
|
|
|
|
That scene in Dazed and Confused when they are giving dating advice to the freshman is so on point.
|
|
I've been "friendzoned" so many god damn times that I swore off women in my mid-20's. But yea, I was the nice guy. The assholes who couldn't hold a job, had no money, cheated on them, called them bitches...they were rolling in pussy.
It makes sense now that my first piece of ass was from a lesbian friend. Pity fuck? Maybe...but I took it! |
|
I was more physically attracted to him than anyone I had ever met. View Quote Simple answer. The ladies can't help themselves if you look good. Good hygiene, exercise, lift weights, and wear some respectable clothes. If you've got money on top of that... there will be a swarm chasing you. |
|
|
Her friend is the real prize. And a savage with that truth apparently.
|
|
|
|
|
Quoted: that sounds like a dude wrote it. it's too on-the-nose as a guy's whine about why he's not getting laid, with no nuance or subtlety or anything to suggest that it comes from a different perspective. View Quote Pretty much. I have serious doubts that was written by anyone without a penis. I’m sure this will be followed up with “but does that even matter?” Well, when the gospel you preach is a work of fiction, then yes, that sort of does matter. No different than the false rape stories that “could have happened just like that!” but didn’t. |
|
Quoted: that sounds like a dude wrote it. it's too on-the-nose as a guy's whine about why he's not getting laid, with no nuance or subtlety or anything to suggest that it comes from a different perspective. View Quote I can definitely see that possibility, but it also echoes some things my wife has told me. She wised up after a particularly bad experience and pursued the nice but awkward and nerdy guy she knew from work (me). I thought she was completely out of my league. |
|
In 5-10 years, she'll be writing articles about how men are terrible because she can't find one that wants to marry a pump and dump ho that's too old to have kids, and whine about how all the good ones are taken.
I foresee 13 cats in her studio apartment by her mid 40s. |
|
A lot of girls are like that.
They don't want a stable relationship, but one full of drama. I once dated a girl who's last boyfriend treated her like dirt. They fought constantly, to the point of him slapping her around. After a few months of dating her, she actually said she was upset with our relationship because I didn't fight her, not just argue, but fight. There are many pretty messed up people out there. |
|
Back in the 80s I reeled in epic amounts of tail by introducing myself then ignoring the shit out of the hot girls while flirting with their less attractive wing man. 90% of the time the hot one couldn't take it and practically jumped my bones as soon as her friend turned her back. It really did work almost every time.
|
|
Reading that made me really glad that I'm out of the dating game.
|
|
|
Quoted: Simple answer. The ladies can't help themselves if you look good. Good hygiene, exercise, lift weights, and wear some respectable clothes. If you've got money on top of that... there will be a swarm chasing you. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: I was more physically attracted to him than anyone I had ever met. Simple answer. The ladies can't help themselves if you look good. Good hygiene, exercise, lift weights, and wear some respectable clothes. If you've got money on top of that... there will be a swarm chasing you. Are men really that different? If you have a female friend who is fat, lazy, and dresses in sweats, do you really want to fuck her? No, of course not. Are we surprised women feel different? Oh sure that guy is nice, but he also is about 50lbs overweight, has bad skin, and is awkward af. |
|
The fact that she thinks she “deserves” a good man is her problem, it’s all about her. She would fail the Bronx Tale unlocking the car door test. Thank God I didn’t marry one of these.
|
|
IBPJ & the rest of the ARF gals to straighten things out lol.
Eta : Beat ! |
|
"Nice guys" aka ugly dudes or dorks or nerds, haha. Be good really looking and get the chicks. Just like no guy wants the fat ugly chicks, haha
|
|
|
|
|
That was a good article. More people need to realize that you can have a steady great life, or you can have the most exciting miserable one.
|
|
|
Love will wax and wane in any relationship. What makes a relationship last is respect. A woman will never respect a man who doesn’t respect himself and demand respect in return for providing it to her. People respect strength, be strong not a SIMP.
If SIMPS put half the effort they put into pursuing women into improving themselves physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually they’d get the women they desire with little effort. |
|
They love cats.
Cats are assholes. Maybe back in my dating days I should have spent more time putting my ass in chick's faces and knocking random things off of shelves? |
|
Quoted: Interesting. My wife says I'm an asshole all the time and I don't have chicks throwing themselves at me. View Quote Same. I always say it’s the fact I was friendzoned growing up more times than I can count is what made me an asshole. Eventually I stopped doing the shit that got me friendzoned. |
|
Quoted: Interesting. My wife says I'm an asshole all the time and I don't have chicks throwing themselves at me. View Quote Before I was married I can't remember ever going more than a week without a date or girlfriend. I was shy about asking girls out and I guess that came off looking like I could care less about thier attention and didn't need thier companionship. I wasn't one of those pretty boys in school but I was decent enough looking. My secret was not trying to impress girls or being an annoying simp. I was focused on my music and cars and the fact I didn't pay them attention drove them nuts, LOL. It still does to this day and I've lost my former slimmer build over the last 20 something years. |
|
Quoted: Pretty much. I have serious doubts that was written by anyone without a penis. I'm sure this will be followed up with "but does that even matter?" Well, when the gospel you preach is a work of fiction, then yes, that sort of does matter. No different than the false rape stories that "could have happened just like that!" but didn't. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted: Quoted: that sounds like a dude wrote it. it's too on-the-nose as a guy's whine about why he's not getting laid, with no nuance or subtlety or anything to suggest that it comes from a different perspective. Pretty much. I have serious doubts that was written by anyone without a penis. I'm sure this will be followed up with "but does that even matter?" Well, when the gospel you preach is a work of fiction, then yes, that sort of does matter. No different than the false rape stories that "could have happened just like that!" but didn't. They wound up married with a couple of kids, divorced, remarried, divorced again. I think their current status is shacking. This might come as a shock but he never would keep a job, deals meth, pot, and coke, pawns her stuff, screws her friends, is in and out of jail for various offenses, smacked her around a couple of times, etc ad infinitum. Meanwhile the nice guy she dumped for him is married to a very nice Nurse Practitioner and pulls well over $100k himself (sales) has a nice house instead of Section 8 apartment, and drives a late model Mercedes. |
|
Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!
You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.