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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:40:49 PM EST
[#1]
I can't imagine not seeing my boys for that long
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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:44:11 PM EST
[#2]
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Congrats on it being mostly painless. You got out easy, unlike a lot of guys here. Boys need a father figure and only seeing them every other holiday and summer isn't going to do much. Kinda sad. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:46:02 PM EST
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Run, don't walk and buy one! You got EXTREMELY lucky. 1.) Spending enough on attorneys to buy a new brodozer 2.) Giving her enough money in the settlement to buy a yacht 3.) Giving her enough alimony to buy a SCAR 17 each month BUT: 1.) I have sole custody and my kids are safe 2.)Alimony ends in 6 years 3.) I got the house 4.) Financials can never be changed, because it was settled out of court and therefore is a contract |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:48:20 PM EST
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My final decree was signed 6 weeks ago and I consider myself lucky despite 1.) Spending enough on attorneys to buy a new brodozer 2.) Giving her enough money in the settlement to buy a yacht 3.) Giving her enough alimony to buy a SCAR 17 each month BUT: 1.) I have sole custody and my kids are safe 2.)Alimony ends in 6 years 3.) I got the house 4.) Financials can never be changed, because it was settled out of court and therefore is a contract Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Run, don't walk and buy one! You got EXTREMELY lucky. 1.) Spending enough on attorneys to buy a new brodozer 2.) Giving her enough money in the settlement to buy a yacht 3.) Giving her enough alimony to buy a SCAR 17 each month BUT: 1.) I have sole custody and my kids are safe 2.)Alimony ends in 6 years 3.) I got the house 4.) Financials can never be changed, because it was settled out of court and therefore is a contract 
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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:48:55 PM EST
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I see it as he can contribute how and in what ways he wants, without having to fund a woman's micheal koors, coach purse, starbucks habit. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: So you don't have any obligation to support your child? Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 6:59:27 PM EST
[#6]
No congrats to you until 16-20 years when the possibility of child support and the back pay plus % penalty isn’t looming over you every single day.
You’d better play your diplomatic cards right for at least 16 more years. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:06:16 PM EST
[#7]
Congratulations! Could have turned out worse. I remember I felt like I failed God but you can't force someone to work on it or stay married. Had enough of her shit and filed on her, cost me $600+$200 for USMS to serve her in Germany.
Stay strong, move on with your life, Brother. Life will get better, you can meet somebody else. Cherish your days with your son. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:08:10 PM EST
[#8]
Glad you're happy.
Seeing my kids that infrequently would be a complete and total loss for me. Obviously your mileage varies. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:13:17 PM EST
[#9]
My ex juat offered me 1/3 of our assets to walk away i thank you.
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:16:31 PM EST
[#10]
OP needs to be very careful crossing the street, climbing ladders, etc.
he's used up a lifetime of luck. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:21:38 PM EST
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Threads like this are a great reminder of why I refuse to ever marry or have kids. 
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:22:24 PM EST
[#12]
You really think that your kid is going to want to spend holidays and the summer with you when you have not been there all the time leading up to this? No way at all. You got a horrible deal that is only self serving. You have invited some other guy into your kids life since you will be so absent, so don't be pissed when someone else is called dad.
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:35:34 PM EST
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
People that have kick ass wives and awesome fucking kids and generally winning at life don't start threads saying look how fucking awesome we're doing and everyone else blows moose cock. Make some babies with a good woman and do your part to preserve and sustain Western Civilization. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/476733/20181004_174937-698429.JPG Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Threads like this are a great reminder of why I refuse to ever marry or have kids. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/476733/20181004_174937-698429.JPG |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:39:00 PM EST
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you want to be selective with how you contribute to a kid, and don't want to involve a woman, maybe sponsoring a needy child for $30 a month is more up your alley. Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: So you don't have any obligation to support your child? Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. This is where "voluntary child support" comes in. Want to pay for junior's summer camp? Clothing? Books? First gun? Playstation?? Buy it directly or reimburse after being shown the receipt. Keeps the b*tch honest. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:42:38 PM EST
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Threads like this are a great reminder of why I refuse to ever marry or have kids. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:49:19 PM EST
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah um you know that "child support" goes directly to the mother, for her to spend on purses, starbucks, etc. as she deems fit? Not a cent of it has to actually be spend on the child. This is where "voluntary child support" comes in. Want to pay for junior's summer camp? Clothing? Books? First gun? Playstation?? Buy it directly or reimburse after being shown the receipt. Keeps the b*tch honest. |
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:57:33 PM EST
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Someday you'll probably realize this wasn't as great as it seemed A woman cannot raise a man. You will see this when it is way to late to do anything. I hope for your kids sake, she has a stable relationship with one man who will care enough to do your job well. Congrats on the divorce. BTDT. It does feel good to get away from it all. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 3:58:08 PM EST
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you want to be selective with how you contribute to a kid, and don't want to involve a woman, maybe sponsoring a needy child for $30 a month is more up your alley. Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. How much do you pay by the way? Do you think your ex wife might take me out to the Olive Garden? (you're buying ofc  )
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:09:58 PM EST
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
There is a third option, get married and stay married. Divorce being an option, and being so favorable to women (be honest it really is) caters to a relationship mentality for the female where she sees you as more of a boyfriend than a husband. If she doesn't like how shit going, she can just break up with you. Only breakup now means divorce and she likely comes out way ahead, and it's onto the next poor schmuck. It's hard to find a girl with old fashioned values who knows what meaningful things actually are and that can find happiness in those things. I think social media plays a big part in that. The social highlight reels portrayed there happens to be the the standard by which most of todays women judge their own happiness and life. Some men fall victim to the dopamine feedback loop bullshit as well, but not to the same extent as women. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:11:07 PM EST
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ide rather pay and get to see my child more |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:15:03 PM EST
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's a bit more complicated than that. It's not that I'm a bad father or can't provide for the boy, or won't be in his life, but different states, health issues, education, I can honestly say this is what's best for the boy. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Ide rather pay and get to see my child more Money does not replace a hug after a bad day at school Money does not replace a smile when he brings home his first grade art project Maybe try a little harder - that would be best for the boy |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:15:28 PM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They sure can. I wouldn't even trust them not to back date it to the divorce decree date Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Have a precious 2 year old boy that I'll get during alternating holidays and summer. No child support or alimony, didn't even have to pay for an attorney
I'm wondering if I should go buy a lottery ticket. Perhaps too soon?  |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:22:17 PM EST
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah um you know that "child support" goes directly to the mother, for her to spend on purses, starbucks, etc. as she deems fit? Not a cent of it has to actually be spend on the child. This is where "voluntary child support" comes in. Want to pay for junior's summer camp? Clothing? Books? First gun? Playstation?? Buy it directly or reimburse after being shown the receipt. Keeps the b*tch honest. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: So you don't have any obligation to support your child? Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. This is where "voluntary child support" comes in. Want to pay for junior's summer camp? Clothing? Books? First gun? Playstation?? Buy it directly or reimburse after being shown the receipt. Keeps the b*tch honest. Money doesn't replace a smile when he brings home his first grade art project. You don't have to stay married, but you should try harder to be in your boy's life. Summer at dad's house will become less and less attractive as he grows up. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:24:55 PM EST
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've been divorced about 7 mos now, it was a shit show but in the end I got: 50/50 Custody of my also precious 2 year old boy, alternating weeks, in summer she gets june and i get july (win) Geographical restriction to the county I live in for both of us (fine by me since my business and family/friends are all here). No child support. I got the house. Both my paid off vehicles. All my paid off motorcycles, Almost everything in the house minus her personal effects, washer and dryer (no care, replaced with speedqueens) She got: 50/50 Custody Geo restriction to our county (she has no fam here few friends) All her debt her car which she owes more on than it's worth, and her degree (6 figure education paid for by me.) washer dryer from the house and her personal effects |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:40:53 PM EST
[#25]
Why are you getting divorced? Did you by any chance cheat on her?
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:47:05 PM EST
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's a bit more complicated than that. It's not that I'm a bad father or can't provide for the boy, or won't be in his life, but different states, health issues, education, I can honestly say this is what's best for the boy. I hope it works out for you and your son. @TheNorth |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:49:55 PM EST
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My final decree was signed 6 weeks ago and I consider myself lucky despite 1.) Spending enough on attorneys to buy a new brodozer 2.) Giving her enough money in the settlement to buy a yacht 3.) Giving her enough alimony to buy a SCAR 17 each month BUT: 1.) I have sole custody and my kids are safe 2.)Alimony ends in 6 years 3.) I got the house 4.) Financials can never be changed, because it was settled out of court and therefore is a contract |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:49:56 PM EST
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'd rather pay and get to see my child more |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 4:52:49 PM EST
[#29]
Quoted:
Have a precious 2 year old boy that I'll get during alternating holidays and summer. No child support or alimony, didn't even have to pay for an attorney
I'm wondering if I should go buy a lottery ticket. Perhaps too soon? That's good. She sounds like a level-headed person who just wanted out. Lots of divorce proceedings where the ex-wife wants a lot done to bring down the ex-husband really only benefits the lawyers since they get more in legal fees. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 5:09:41 PM EST
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you want to be selective with how you contribute to a kid, and don't want to involve a woman, maybe sponsoring a needy child for $30 a month is more up your alley. Being a dad means means giving up some of the discretion you have over your money. Deal with it. I also pay for all of her clothes, shoes, activities, birthday parties, shopping, movies, trips, after school snacks, packs of gum from the convenience store, cell phone, TV's, dinner with friends, dinner with her mother, gifts for her relatives, school and pretty much everything else In her life. What I pay to the .gov for them to in turn, give to her mother has zero, zip, nada to do with me being a parent. I happily buy her everything she needs and most of what she wants but I also tell her no when necessary. Her mother has thanked me on numerous occasions for doing for my daughter without her ever having to ask me. Measuring someone's ability to properly parent by the amount of money they give to the government for child support is pretty fucking stupid. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 5:22:17 PM EST
[#31]
I've only been thru one divorce, 1988. I married my high school sweetheart, no children. We were married four years. The divorce was one of the lowest points in my life. As I was sitting in my apartment smoking a doobie just a few days before the divorce was final, I looked out the window and my current wife of 25 years walked by with her dog. God is good.
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Posted: 10/10/2018 5:32:52 PM EST
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I see it as he can contribute how and in what ways he wants, without having to fund a woman's micheal koors, coach purse, starbucks habit. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: So you don't have any obligation to support your child? 
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Posted: 10/10/2018 6:36:29 PM EST
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ide rather pay and get to see my child more |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 6:46:04 PM EST
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
People that have kick ass wives and awesome fucking kids and generally winning at life don't start threads saying look how fucking awesome we're doing and everyone else blows moose cock. Make some babies with a good woman and do your part to preserve and sustain Western Civilization. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/476733/20181004_174937-698429.JPG Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Threads like this are a great reminder of why I refuse to ever marry or have kids. https://www.AR15.Com/media/mediaFiles/476733/20181004_174937-698429.JPG Thanks. 
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Posted: 10/10/2018 6:50:57 PM EST
[#35]
Divorce is a sad event regardless. Two people start out with hopes and dreams and end up greatly disappointed. And in this case a child now has a broken home.
I am divorced. It saved my life. But the damage it did to my kids and to me cannot be repaired. |
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Posted: 10/10/2018 6:55:13 PM EST
[#36]
@thenorth did you get a prenup?
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