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Posted: 6/8/2023 9:52:24 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What happened When Captain Kirk tried to Fart? He Left a Captain's Log.  
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Posted: 6/8/2023 9:54:20 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Didn't even laugh. Close to drunk too Lol |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 9:54:51 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. What if she’s Chinese? Irene. Omg! Lol! |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 10:07:38 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. What if she’s Chinese? Irene. Where does Ilene, the 1 legged lady work? IHOP |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 10:14:31 PM EDT
[#5]
What do mathematicians need to look out for in the wild?
Trapezoids |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 10:19:24 PM EDT
[#6]
why'd the hipster burn his mouth?
he ate the pizza before it was cool |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 10:31:03 PM EDT
[#7]
What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
Both circle Uranus looking for Klingons. |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 10:53:07 PM EDT
[#8]
I asked my date to meet me at the gym.
she didn't show up I don't think we're gonna work out 
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Posted: 6/8/2023 11:09:47 PM EDT
[#9]
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
...Roberto! |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 11:18:24 PM EDT
[#10]
The rat race is over.
The rats won. |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 11:46:00 PM EDT
[#11]
Q: Why don't you see elephants in trees?
A: Because they are good at hiding in them. Q: Why do some elephants paint their balls red? A: It makes it easier for them to hide in cherry trees. Q: What is the loudest sound on the savanna? A: A giraffe eating a cherry tree. |
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Posted: 6/8/2023 11:52:59 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying at your front door? Mat. What do you call the same guy hanging on the wall? Art. And if he's laying in a pile of leaves? Russell Bob |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 6:59:16 AM EDT
[#13]
I know a vegetable joke, but it’s a little corny.
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Posted: 6/9/2023 7:14:57 AM EDT
[#14]
When does a joke become a "dad" joke?
When it becomes a parent |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 7:38:12 AM EDT
[#15]
Where do pirates get their hooks?
Second hand stores. What's brown and sticky? A stick |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 7:41:44 AM EDT
[#16]
Do you know what the Twin Towers and gender have in common?
There used to be just 2 of em, but now it's a sensitive subject. |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 8:56:16 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I couldn't understand why the baseball was getting larger - then it hit me. Good one. Did you hear about the pissed off 3 legged dog that walked into the bar? He was looking for the guy that shot his paw. What did the indian say when his dog fell out of the boat? Doggone |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 9:05:33 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What's the only thing worse than a dad joke? A bad joke. You know how to tell when a bad joke turns into a dad joke? When the punch line becomes apparent |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 9:11:44 AM EDT
[#19]
whats red and smells like blue paint?
red paint |
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Posted: 6/9/2023 11:40:14 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What if he's in a pool? Bob Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying at your front door? Mat. What do you call the same guy hanging on the wall? Art. And if he's laying in a pile of leaves? Russell Bob If he's water skiing he is skip |
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Posted: 6/10/2023 3:20:26 PM EDT
[#21]
A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch"
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle What does a mathematician do when they're constipated? Work it out with a pencil What do you call a constipated German? Farfrompoopin What do Germans call a bra? Stoppemfromfloppin |
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Posted: 6/10/2023 4:29:56 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When does a joke become a "dad" joke? When it becomes a parent |
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Posted: 6/11/2023 7:22:06 PM EDT
[#23]
Nothing to add. Just a bump because I need more for an upcoming Scout trip.
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Posted: 6/11/2023 7:42:10 PM EDT
[#24]
why'd the old lady fall in the well?
she didn't see that well |
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Posted: 6/11/2023 7:45:13 PM EDT
[#25]
Why do nurses carry red pens?
In case they need to draw some blood. |
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Posted: 6/11/2023 8:00:51 PM EDT
[#26]
Asked my wife this morning if they should put logic in a spray can...
It would be easier for her to apply... She laughed about as hard as my son. |
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Posted: 6/14/2023 10:27:34 AM EDT
[#27]
Bump
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Posted: 6/22/2023 1:55:48 PM EDT
[#28]
Any more??
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Posted: 6/22/2023 1:59:51 PM EDT
[#29]
Why is the letter B always cold?
Because it sits in the middle of the AC 
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Posted: 6/25/2023 2:11:45 PM EDT
[#30]
This one is best told verbally.
Did you know children are born with four kidneys? Two in their stomach, and two in their legs. (Kidneys/ kid knees) |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 2:32:45 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: "Topless" anything is a goldmine of a business opportunity... Carwash Food truck Ice cream stand Tiki bar Barber shop Maid service etc. Or even simply a "Bikini" version of the above, assuming the bikinis are worn by attractive fit women. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Hear about the new hotel in town? Its staffed with nothing but topless cowgirls. They call it the Breast Western. That sounds like one hell of a business opportunity. "Topless" anything is a goldmine of a business opportunity... Carwash Food truck Ice cream stand Tiki bar Barber shop Maid service etc. Or even simply a "Bikini" version of the above, assuming the bikinis are worn by attractive fit women. Long time ago in rural TN, there was a place that was an Oil Change on one side and a strip club on the other. It was called the Boob and Lube. 100% truth. |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 2:35:02 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying at your front door? Mat. What do you call the same guy hanging on the wall? Art. And if he's laying in a pile of leaves? Russell |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 2:48:56 PM EDT
[#33]
Knock knock!
Who's there? Little Old Lady..... I didn't know you could yodel! 
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Posted: 6/25/2023 2:52:53 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This one is best told verbally. Did you know children are born with four kidneys? Two in their stomach, and two in their legs. (Kidneys/ kid knees) I was born with 3 knees. Right knee , left knee and weenee |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 3:37:52 PM EDT
[#35]
Same guy.....with no arms and no legs.....
Under your Car.. Jack Another guy with no arms and no legs In a Ditch... Phil
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Posted: 6/25/2023 3:42:35 PM EDT
[#36]
Did you know if you put shoes on a bear...
He still has bear feet. |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 7:10:01 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was born with 3 knees. Right knee , left knee and weenee Um, it is 4 knees for men: Left knee, right knee, hiney and weenie. |
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Posted: 6/25/2023 7:21:09 PM EDT
[#38]
I named my dog with no legs "cigarette".
Every now and then i take him out for a drag. What's a more concrete name for a buttcrack? Assphalt. What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair..... |
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