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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:43:42 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages  
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:44:05 AM EDT
[#2]
I don’t understand all this running around talking to folks and telling church leadership and gossiping with internet boards. Unless you’re just trying to ruin his reputation you need to make a beeline to LEO. Even if its not criminal yet, they may have a chat with him. Get him on the LEO radar. Or pay him a visit yourself if you think it’s necessary. But stop gossiping around.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:45:47 AM EDT
[#3]
Creepy, and inappropriate.
But I'll be the one to say it, if the kid is 15 he likely isn't being a pedo, just a creep, I would imagine is is well into puberty by now. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:46:29 AM EDT
[#4]
What's creepy is how FPNI yet again
But seriously, a guy that age being friends with a girl that age on social media sets off ALL the alarm bells. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:47:01 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:48:20 AM EDT
[#6]
OP I deal with these types of people for a living.
1. Grown men comment on a child's social media is odd. 2. Grown men making comments about a child's appearance on social media is even more abnormal. 3. Privately messaging a child about "seeing more" is a straight shot at asking for pics. This typically leads to talking about relationships, then sex, then asking to see "more." 4. All contact with this man should be severed immediately. 5. This girl isn't the only one he is creeping on. These men typically try to play off their comments and comms as "innocent" and "just being nice." They usually are anything but that. They become more brazen when their BS isn't challenged directly and especially when their target seems to go along with their advances. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:49:42 AM EDT
[#7]
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Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership.  Attached File |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:51:29 AM EDT
[#8]
Out of line for sure, if it went as described.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:52:35 AM EDT
[#9]
It's inappropriate.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:54:11 AM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe start your own thread instead of muddying this once up by peddling your pedantics? Just a suggestion. I'll just let you know that to this outside observer you come across really weird here, at minimum. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Inappropriate yes. Pedo no. She's 15. 
pedophilia
: a psychiatric disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child Soft peddle? I'll just let you know that to this outside observer you come across really weird here, at minimum.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:07:16 AM EDT
[#11]
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Si according to GD and not actually knowing the whole situation, telling my sister in law who is 14 she looks really pretty or looks good (she has body image issues), even if I’m lying and think she looks like a hoe and should cover up more, makes me a pedophile? You said you know what he is and what he’s capable of makes it sound like he’s actually been caught doing stuff. Simple comments like that aren’t advances. Maybe he’s just a nice dude. It’s be different if he was all like “very pretty. Check your messages” or “beautiful. You’re a keeper”. Shit at my wedding my grandmother said to a lot of you get girls they were beautiful and so did my grandfather. Like wtf. Calling someone a pedophile without actual proof other than comments can ruin a mans life. This reminds me of the “my daughter is 18 and ran away” thread. You said it yourself. Her father passed away and her mother is a wreck. Maybe he realizes this and is trying to be a positive figure before she gets caught up in the whole twerk or treat phenomenon...  .To the OP, if the creepy minister buys her any AR-15 parts or accessories, That’s how you’ll know for sure. 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:20:43 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don’t understand all this running around talking to folks and telling church leadership and gossiping with internet boards. Unless you’re just trying to ruin his reputation you need to make a beeline to LEO. Even if its not criminal yet, they may have a chat with him. Get him on the LEO radar. Or pay him a visit yourself if you think it’s necessary. But stop gossiping around. What he did might not be illegal, but he Should face public scrutiny and shame and ridicule. He’s a public figure, and a religious one. That means he should be held to a higher standard. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:21:37 AM EDT
[#13]
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I don’t use emojis as it turns out what they look like and I think they mean are completely different than what they actually mean. I also think emojis are stupid. However, it could be a misunderstanding. Maybe she confided in him that she’s been cutting herself or some shit and the how could mean a hospital bed or a funeral. Every man deserves a trial by a jury, not a media burning at the stake. Plus what normally adjusted man privately messages a child asking "how he can see her again?" Yeah, totally innocent. Good dude. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:21:56 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Nothing against church-goers, but this is totally fitting the MO (taking advantage of "leadership" involving religious beliefs, emotions, etc). Dude's a pedo. I definitely wouldn't MYOB on this one. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. OP ask yourself, WWJD? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:24:43 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
But I'll be the one to say it, if the kid is 15 he likely isn't being a pedo, just a creep... Quote HistoryQuoted:
But I'll be the one to say it, if the kid is 15 he likely isn't being a pedo, just a creep... Still gross, and if the girl's dad beat the guy's ass, I'd give him a pass if I were in the jury. Quoted:
This is absolutely grooming behavior and needs to be addressed. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:31:43 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No. Why? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:34:14 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: If she is confiding in him that shes cutting herself they already have an abnormally close relationship for an adult and unrelated child. And he isn't telling her family huh because he is such a good guy. Riiiiiiiight. Plus what normally adjusted man privately messages a child asking "how he can see her again?" Yeah, totally innocent. Good dude. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:35:00 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, you should just go ahead and stop doing that. .To the OP, if the creepy minister buys her any AR-15 parts or accessories, That’s how you’ll know for sure. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:36:22 AM EDT
[#19]
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Yeap. OP ask yourself, WWJD? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Quoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. OP ask yourself, WWJD? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:40:20 AM EDT
[#20]
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According to the OP she doesn’t have family... Yeah and I guess teachers, doctors, anyone really that deals with kids have abnormally close relationships. You say you work with this all the time. What is it that you actually do? I do MH work. I exclusively deal with online SOs. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:44:27 AM EDT
[#21]
Creepy
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:46:13 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why should I just go ahead and stop? Aight. I’m gonna call her an ugly bitch next time. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:49:03 AM EDT
[#23]
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Yeap. Bet you a yankee nickel there are other girls he has done weird shit to as well. If it was a random dad I would confront. If he is in a position of authority in an organization like a church or school and did that I would locate the local kiddie diddler task force and put him on their radar. I am certain that he has made off comments or worse to other girls though. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Obviously inappropriate. I am surprised sometimes how people second-guess themselves when they observe inappropriate behavior. And older man commenting repeatedly to an underage girl that she is pretty is inappropriate. Asking when he is going to see her again is inappropriate. His relationship with her, if there's one at all, should have 0 romantic or sexual aspects. Her attractiveness is not his concern. His contact with her should not be as peer, friends, or casual. This behavior needs to be shut down. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. Bet you a yankee nickel there are other girls he has done weird shit to as well. If it was a random dad I would confront. If he is in a position of authority in an organization like a church or school and did that I would locate the local kiddie diddler task force and put him on their radar. I am certain that he has made off comments or worse to other girls though. Is a Yankee Nickel different from a Southern Nickel? 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:51:56 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Inserts himself into positions of power over kids, making inappropriate comments towards a teenage girl, sending private messages to a teenage girl... Are you going to wait for him to try to have sex with her, or you going to do something now about the creep. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:52:48 AM EDT
[#25]
Lol @ leader in a church. Churches are cesspools for pedophiles and other shit in society.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:55:09 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yep. Divorced. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Divorced? A divorced 50-year-old man telling his 15-year-old son's ex-GF she's pretty and when can HE see her again? "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:00:29 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. That's pretty much what is taught in child safety stuff. Inappropriate behavior needs addressed, not ignored. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:01:24 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wrinkle: Girl showed us the Instagram messages and emailed them to my wife. But we’re not sure if she is old enough to consent to us using/distributing the messages to the church or LE. Kentucky is a one party recording state. Local LE officer I spoke to about it (I maintained confidentiality of girl’s ID) said it is probably not enough to prosecute the guy over but they’d definitely go have a talk with him if the girl’s parents will OK it. Girl’s dad passed away a few years ago and single mom is a wreck. The mom has had legal problems of her own and is kinda waffling on whether to come forward or not. I know what this guy is and what he’s capable of. But we might have a mom who might want to put her head in the sand. 
Does the guy know the girl's father is gone? Look, this is the same kind of girl those Pakistani guys groomed in the UK. Girls from broken families, fathers gone, single moms working or drunk and can't control the girls. With dad gone, the girl's primary protector is gone, right? BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, is it possible the guy is trying to boost her ego and self-confidence to help her get through this period? It's the wrong way to do it but some girls respond to it. Is that possible? Anyway, now this shit is getting scary. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:01:35 AM EDT
[#29]
Pedo, no doubt.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:06:09 AM EDT
[#30]
read below
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:07:13 AM EDT
[#31]
Creeper is creepin'.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:07:38 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:09:07 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Burn their house down and strike them both with lightning? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Quoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. OP ask yourself, WWJD? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:09:56 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
i would say there are enough warning flags in there to make it known to the dad it would be in his best interest to stay away from the girl. meaning no more contact any way shape or form, if he continues the proper authorities would be notified. And you know most uncles will lay down the law HARD on that kind of guy. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:11:28 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
With the girl's dad gone what man would do that? Who has the gravitas to lay down the law? If there is an uncle, that would be the first choice. He can take the position of protector previously held by the deceased father. And you know most uncles will lay down the law HARD on that kind of guy. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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i would say there are enough warning flags in there to make it known to the dad it would be in his best interest to stay away from the girl. meaning no more contact any way shape or form, if he continues the proper authorities would be notified. And you know most uncles will lay down the law HARD on that kind of guy. That would probably curb about 100% of the comments in a matter of seconds. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:12:13 AM EDT
[#36]
That is creepy AF.
If he is in any kind of leadership role in the church, the church needs to know immediately. I can guarantee this isn't the first message of the type he has sent. He will use your position of authority in the church to prey on young girls. It happens more often than you would think. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:12:29 AM EDT
[#37]
If he hasn’t acted on his urges he’s thinking about it.
Quote HistoryQuoted: Divorced? A divorced 50-year-old man telling his 15-year-old son's ex-GF she's pretty and when can HE see her again? "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:14:56 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Teachers and doctors have to report these things. OP said girl has a mother. They would be reporting it to her. They wouldn't be asking about seeing her in private messages through social media. I do MH work. I exclusively deal with online SOs. Without divulging too much, persec and all, can you provide us something about your creds. Do not compromise your ID in any way. Is the OP’s a common MO for the perpetrators as we suspect and how common are these cases? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:18:26 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That was my first thought. And the majority of people I’ve asked about it, too. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. they should leave that church if they have any desire to protect their daughter, the very first time i sensed something inappropriate would have been the last time that person had interaction with my daughter. sociopaths seek positions of power like that for the exact reason you see unfolding before you. anyone that has had even a moderate bit of training in these types of behaviors would tell you the same thing, this is how it starts. the fact the family is acting like a bunch of idiots about it makes it even worse. there is a documentary that will absolutely blow your mind as to how even the family can get on board with someone molesting their children. its called abducted in plain sight you need to show this to the family and make sure they don't want to be giving hand jobs to the guy molesting their daughter. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:19:03 AM EDT
[#40]
Yeah, that's odd behavior.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:19:05 AM EDT
[#41]
Dude, that's fucking weird.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:21:21 AM EDT
[#42]
Social Media often causes "problems."
This is the reason I avoid it like the plague. Alcohol often causes "problems." I avoid it like a plague. Recreational drugs often cause "problems." I avoid them like a plague. Do you see a pattern developing here? Someone needs to have a talk with this "church leader" and point out to him how his actions "look." If this is an ongoing problem there should be some "stronger" action taken. I think this would go a long way in taking care of the problem. I think I read where the young lady had lost her father. This makes her more vulnerable and perhaps the "church leader" is trying to fill that void. He may not be socially astute enough to realize how creepy he is coming off. Hence my suggestion to let him know he is not the only one aware of the girls situation. If it was an innocent mistake on his part, he can correct it. If he really is a "creeper," I'm sure that will be taken care of quickly with little collateral damage to the girl. I am high school staff and I handle a lot of discipline problems related to "social media." I would also point out that it can also be inappropriate for a teen aged girl to communicate with an adult male(or female for that matter.) depending on the content of that communication. For this reason I do not engage in social media contacts with any of my students, even the ones related to me. I avoid any appearance of impropriety. When I find myself in a room alone with a student, I open the door and prop it open. I care for my students and often comment to them but I choose my words carefully. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:21:42 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: With the girl's dad gone what man would do that? Who has the gravitas to lay down the law? If there is an uncle, that would be the first choice. He can take the position of protector previously held by the deceased father. And you know most uncles will lay down the law HARD on that kind of guy. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:22:49 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Or the mother could do something logical, like tell her to remove the dude from her contacts list on all social media. That would probably curb about 100% of the comments in a matter of seconds. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:23:06 AM EDT
[#45]
Buy this shirt and give it to him.
Tell him he’s next. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:23:10 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Teachers and doctors have to report these things. OP said girl has a mother. They would be reporting it to her. They wouldn't be asking about seeing her in private messages through social media. I do MH work. I exclusively deal with online SOs. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:23:18 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Thats way over the line and beyond a misunderstanding. Advise the girls parents to go to tell the church. If for some reason they won't, then you should. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:26:30 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Or the mother could do something logical, like tell her to remove the dude from her contacts list on all social media. That would probably curb about 100% of the comments in a matter of seconds. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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i would say there are enough warning flags in there to make it known to the dad it would be in his best interest to stay away from the girl. meaning no more contact any way shape or form, if he continues the proper authorities would be notified. And you know most uncles will lay down the law HARD on that kind of guy. That would probably curb about 100% of the comments in a matter of seconds. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:26:56 AM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A grown man should not be following or commenting on young girls social media- especially a son's friend. He's a creeper |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:29:18 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. A 15 year old is of childbearing age.  Attached File |
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