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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:42:35 PM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well, I didn’t read pages 2-4 so maybe it’s already been said, but addressing it to him or the church may not be the best option. It may put an end to this specific situation, but if he is a creeper he’s likely to just do it to someone else. If you believe it is that inappropriate, and your local law enforcement (or even county sheriff) has some Internet crime unit, put it to them to have an officer pose as the girl and see if he pushes further, or put a different bait out there and see if he goes for it. It’s creepy as is. I’d want to know if he’s just inappropriate or if he has other urges. He hasn't broken the law, but by the time he does it will be too late, so the best thing to do is remove him from the girl's life. I would start by making sure anyone with any weight at the church knows what's going on, and more importantly, that it's obviously making the girl uncomfortable. The mom and girl probably need to talk with someone at church about how to deal with it as well. Just being involved could mess with the girls head. On one hand, I think everyone should know about it, but on the other hand, that could be really hard on the girl. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:43:35 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This. Words have meaning. This isn't what "grooming" is at all. This is flirting. Still gross, and if the girl's dad beat the guy's ass, I'd give him a pass if I were in the jury. You need to stop watching SVU. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:46:51 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've dealt with this before. I had some guy sending FB messages to my 15 or 16 year old step-daughter and wouldn't stop even though she never responded. She showed me the messages. A message from me cleared that shit right up. Tell the girl's Dad to tell that fucker to never contact her again. Go to his church? Fuck that. Go to him. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:49:47 PM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:52:44 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote History |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 1:53:47 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote History |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:00:11 PM EDT
[#7]
Yeah, that’s creepy and should be dealt with.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:01:16 PM EDT
[#8]
Wildly inappropriate.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:02:43 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages  |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:05:10 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:05:36 PM EDT
[#11]
Is his name Joe Biden?
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:07:47 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Definitely weird. I'm going to go with completely inappropriate. Dad was fishing. Edit. If it was my daughter, I would have her respond and set him up. Get a secret meeting set up and let LE take it from there. 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:09:58 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. I'm a godless heathen and even I have never spoken to my son's GFs like that (or any other underage girl). |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:11:54 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. Quote HistoryQuoted: Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church. Girl’s family confided in wife and me. It sets off alarm bells for me and my wife. I’m considering taking it to his church leadership. 2 years later, they are engaged. we're talking about a 27 year old being around Freshmen-Seniors in high school and being an influence in their life and wind up dating, gross/creepy shit. But as for OP, yeah its fucking creepy. Sure its not the wife/husband sharing an Instagram account? Edit: Never mind Quoted: Divorced? A divorced 50-year-old man telling his 15-year-old son's ex-GF she's pretty and when can HE see her again? "Houston, we have a problem." Damn. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:12:54 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages 
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:13:26 PM EDT
[#16]
The first comment alone should never have happened. He likely shouldn’t have ever been following her on Instagram in the first place.
Guy is a total creep. I’m not sure whether any of it constitutes “grooming”, since I’m not really sure how the word is defined. Either way, dude needs to stop all interaction with her the day before yesterday. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:16:13 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That was my first thought. And the majority of people I’ve asked about it, too. But we have someone in this thread and an elder from my church (different churches) who have said “not so fast, could be a misunderstanding”. Guy is unmarried. No girls in his family that age. Has a bit of a rep as being a womanizer. But super effective at coming off sincere and spiritual. I’m so pissed about it I can’t sleep and I’m in here posting at 4am. There is NO misunderstanding here. What he said was VERY inappropriate. BEST CASE SCENARIO the guy has ZERO understanding of social rules. That's the BEST case. If that's the case someone at the church still needs to explain to him that he crossed a line, which means someone needs to be made aware of what happened. Worst case scenario he was trying to meet up with her. If that's the case, it's probably not the first time and someone still needs to be brought in the loop. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 2:16:54 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This. Words have meaning. This isn't what "grooming" is at all. This is flirting. Still gross, and if the girl's dad beat the guy's ass, I'd give him a pass if I were in the jury. You need to stop watching SVU. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
But I'll be the one to say it, if the kid is 15 he likely isn't being a pedo, just a creep... Still gross, and if the girl's dad beat the guy's ass, I'd give him a pass if I were in the jury. Quoted:
This is absolutely grooming behavior and needs to be addressed. Child grooming is befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse.[1][2] Child grooming is also regularly used to lure minors into various illicit businesses such as child trafficking, child prostitution, or the production of child pornography.[3][4][5] |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 3:54:01 PM EDT
[#19]
Well that was dumb for him to comment like that. It sure comes off as creepy.
Is it possible that it was an innocent comment? Sure, it's possible, but it's hard to believe anyone would be stupid enough to not see how inappropriate that is. He shouldn't get the benefit of the doubt. He needs to keep his distance. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 4:57:44 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm kinda here too. Why is this girl from church showing the OP and his wife these messages instead of her mom or close friends? |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:02:08 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I disagree. The guy obviously targets girls he knows, I don't know that baiting would work. It would be easy to bait with the girls account, as others mentioned, but that could be hard on a 15 year old girl that already has issues. He hasn't broken the law, but by the time he does it will be too late, so the best thing to do is remove him from the girl's life. I would start by making sure anyone with any weight at the church knows what's going on, and more importantly, that it's obviously making the girl uncomfortable. The mom and girl probably need to talk with someone at church about how to deal with it as well. Just being involved could mess with the girls head. On one hand, I think everyone should know about it, but on the other hand, that could be really hard on the girl. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:05:37 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Wife is in a mentoring/big sister relationship with girl. Girl disclosed messages almost offhand in conversation with wife. Girl has shown them to mom but mom isn’t real eager to take any action. We have no idea if girl has shown them to friends. We kinda doubt it because she doesn’t have many close friends...which is part of the risk and vulnerability to our way of thinking. Girl is a bit of an outsider. We can take it to DMs if you want but the church doesn't always make the right decisions when it comes to sexual nature items. We had a young man destroy his career here in town (its a small town in the field he was in) because a church elder and deacon told him to tell his work he broke one of their internal company rules on viewing videos of a sexual nature on their laptops. He felt so guilty he had done it he talked to the elder and deacon first. They told him to go into the company HR and tell them to ease his conscience. He was fired over it and now everyone knows. No one is going to hire him knowing why he was fired. It as really really really bad advice. My point is you need to make the right decisions for the girl. She clearly is bothered by the messages and was so bothered she has reached out to someone. She may just be embarrassed to tell her parents. You need to do something to protect this girl. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:09:30 PM EDT
[#23]
I can see innocent comments on photos but it seems way more inappropriate than that. When he asked when he would see her next was way over any boundary.
not to mention that his behavior while being part of a youth type church setting is extremely predatory. Creepy as fuck. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:15:50 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I disagree. The guy obviously targets girls he knows, I don't know that baiting would work. It would be easy to bait with the girls account, as others mentioned, but that could be hard on a 15 year old girl that already has issues. He hasn't broken the law, but by the time he does it will be too late, so the best thing to do is remove him from the girl's life. I would start by making sure anyone with any weight at the church knows what's going on, and more importantly, that it's obviously making the girl uncomfortable. The mom and girl probably need to talk with someone at church about how to deal with it as well. Just being involved could mess with the girls head. On one hand, I think everyone should know about it, but on the other hand, that could be really hard on the girl. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Well, I didn’t read pages 2-4 so maybe it’s already been said, but addressing it to him or the church may not be the best option. It may put an end to this specific situation, but if he is a creeper he’s likely to just do it to someone else. If you believe it is that inappropriate, and your local law enforcement (or even county sheriff) has some Internet crime unit, put it to them to have an officer pose as the girl and see if he pushes further, or put a different bait out there and see if he goes for it. It’s creepy as is. I’d want to know if he’s just inappropriate or if he has other urges. He hasn't broken the law, but by the time he does it will be too late, so the best thing to do is remove him from the girl's life. I would start by making sure anyone with any weight at the church knows what's going on, and more importantly, that it's obviously making the girl uncomfortable. The mom and girl probably need to talk with someone at church about how to deal with it as well. Just being involved could mess with the girls head. On one hand, I think everyone should know about it, but on the other hand, that could be really hard on the girl. It is all about the predator. It is all about the INAPPROPRIATE conduct of an adult A GROWN MAN who should know better. There is NO reason he should be following a 15 year old girl on social media and there is NO reason to be commenting about her looks or sending her private messages. This is ALL about this guy going outside the norms of acceptable behavior and if he continues down the road he’s on, the results will only be negative. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:18:22 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Good insight and you’re a prophet. Girl is a bit nervous too because she would love to get back with the son but is afraid that he’ll hate her if she gets his dad in trouble. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: I disagree. The guy obviously targets girls he knows, I don't know that baiting would work. It would be easy to bait with the girls account, as others mentioned, but that could be hard on a 15 year old girl that already has issues. He hasn't broken the law, but by the time he does it will be too late, so the best thing to do is remove him from the girl's life. I would start by making sure anyone with any weight at the church knows what's going on, and more importantly, that it's obviously making the girl uncomfortable. The mom and girl probably need to talk with someone at church about how to deal with it as well. Just being involved could mess with the girls head. On one hand, I think everyone should know about it, but on the other hand, that could be really hard on the girl. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 5:20:08 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote History
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:17:57 PM EDT
[#27]
Churches are dangerous places for minors.I saw this shit at two churches that I "WAS" a member of.Predator's infest a high percent of churches.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:36:52 PM EDT
[#28]
set up an out of the way meeting place.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 6:53:51 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Is this the ARFCOMMMER that got sent away. I vaguely remember what he looked like. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Is this the ARFCOMMMER that got sent away. I vaguely remember what he looked like. https://www.ar15.com/forums/general/Well_known_team_member_currently_awaiting_trial_for_raping_a_14_yr_old_girl/5-1721568/&page=1 |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 7:42:15 PM EDT
[#30]
Dude's a chomo.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 8:52:58 PM EDT
[#31]
A Christian you say...
Lol |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:09:43 PM EDT
[#32]
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Here this happy horse shit comes... Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I don't give a flying fuck what wikipedia says about it. A 50 year old man has no business being around a 15 year old. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:31:41 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am the father of 2 very pretty girls aged 15 and 17. If a kid's dad sends my daughters messages like that we are having a talk.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:38:55 PM EDT
[#34]
Creepy as fuck and rest assured someone doing it to my kid would be told in no uncertain terms to knock it the fuck off.
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:49:59 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating. It's pretty normal to tell younger girls that they are beautiful (builds their confidence)... but sending a PM asking when you're going to see them again is ass beating material. That does not pass the smell test to me. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 9:56:11 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 10:04:22 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was cool with it until you got to the whole personal message part. It's pretty normal to tell younger girls that they are beautiful (builds their confidence)... but sending a PM asking when you're going to see them again is ass beating material. That does not pass the smell test to me. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
yeah, that one deserves an assbeating. It's pretty normal to tell younger girls that they are beautiful (builds their confidence)... but sending a PM asking when you're going to see them again is ass beating material. That does not pass the smell test to me. Dumber shit has been done in pure ignorance. If a kid and her mom came to me with this, I'd bring in the professionals to give opinions on the next move. |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 10:13:36 PM EDT
[#38]
Yep. Biden thread
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Posted: 10/28/2019 10:21:22 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ha. Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages Seriously. He’s in leadership at a local church |
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Posted: 10/28/2019 10:24:00 PM EDT
[#40]
Creepy and odd fir sure
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Posted: 10/28/2019 10:30:34 PM EDT
[#41]
This is why my kids are living in the technological equivalent of the 1990s until they leave my roof. If I didn’t need the internet for school, they don’t either, and social media can take a flying leap. I can damn well unsolder the LAN port and WIFI antenna or chip from the motherboard of a PC if their teacher demands word processed reports, otherwise...the Japanese still make electric typewriters, and if dumb phones aren’t available when they may need one, I’ll so disable their “smart” phone it’ll be a nice pocket calculator and regular phone. End of story.
Kids have enough to deal with without crap on the internet, let alone smartphones. They can learn all they need to about the idiocy of this stuff once their brains are full grown. And report the guy to church, and have the parents let the police know in a non-emergency fashion. They can at least have a report, just in case something more serious comes in. Helps build a case later, heaven forbid. |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 6:18:07 AM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The sad part is its probably best for her not to interract with the old boyfriend too. Even if they got back together, she can't really ever be around the dad without another adult, and who knows what kind of kid that piece of shit is going to raise. The son may be as bad or worse. Just sad how teens can’t process risk. I kinda get the feeling that the girl doesn’t fully understand the risk the dad poses to the community and seems more concerned about hurting the ex-BF’s feelings. |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 6:19:24 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A Christian you say... Lol |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 7:36:57 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This is why my kids are living in the technological equivalent of the 1990s until they leave my roof. If I didn’t need the internet for school, they don’t either, and social media can take a flying leap. I can damn well unsolder the LAN port and WIFI antenna or chip from the motherboard of a PC if their teacher demands word processed reports, otherwise...the Japanese still make electric typewriters, and if dumb phones aren’t available when they may need one, I’ll so disable their “smart” phone it’ll be a nice pocket calculator and regular phone. End of story. Kids have enough to deal with without crap on the internet, let alone smartphones. They can learn all they need to about the idiocy of this stuff once their brains are full grown. And report the guy to church, and have the parents let the police know in a non-emergency fashion. They can at least have a report, just in case something more serious comes in. Helps build a case later, heaven forbid. A good chunk of them went wild, to the point it would make normal party goers a little nervous, one of my friends did that. He was kept on a short lead through high school, the first two years of college he was getting blasted every night and lacked any self control because previously all his self control came from his parents. I would be very nervous that kids would do the same with the internet, finally get the freedom of it and lack any self control for awhile until they learn it. |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 9:04:33 AM EDT
[#45]
For the love of God, please bring it up to the church.
I am watching sexual abuse training for church ministry as we speak, and I'm ready to go out and start hunting these sick $#@%! down... |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 9:06:30 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sounds creepy. You should stop sending her messages 
THIS! |
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Posted: 10/29/2019 8:47:01 PM EDT
[#47]
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I don’t really think dad is a Christian. Just wears the clothes, so to speak. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
A Christian you say... Lol I think they call it a sheep in wolf’s clothing. |
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