You were supposed to learn this in 1984.

I was called a gaslighter a year ago by a lady. I didn’t know what it meant until I googled it.

I thought I was a nice guy.

After seeing it everywhere, typically in replies to "news" stories, I finally had to look it up as well.

My take away was that it's more akin to astroturfing than mindfucking viewers. I could see how it would be a mix of the two.

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I've had this very experience.  I desperately wanted to believe.

@jungatheart
Yes, gaslighting is an insidious form of psychological manipulation and abuse.  It can absolutely make you question your own reality.

I am all too familiar with gaslighting, although I didn't know it had a name at the time.  My ex-wife is a master gaslighter and manipulator.

I don't have a great memory for some things (thanks, ADHD).  Once she realized this, she started taking advantage of it.  It often starts out with little things: "No, I said to meet at 6:15, not 6:30, why are you late?" (when she actually said 6:30), and "I already told you that yesterday" (no, she didn't).  Then over time it gets worse, and worse, and eventually you start thinking you need to record all the conversations you have with someone, because it seems like your recollection of event and what they said is entirely different than how they describe it later.  Then if you mention how you feel like you need to record your conversations, you're accused of not trusting them.  For a long time I deferred to her in situations where I couldn't remember certain things, knowing that my own memory wasn't great and hers is usually pretty good.  Unfortunately part of "my memory not being great" was actually due to her manipulation: Over the course of several years, she convinced me that my memory was worse than it actually was (my memory might not be great, but I'm not an alzheimer's patient, either ), simply through gaslighting.



@delorean
Congratulations, you summed up my marriage to a covert female narcissist and master gaslighter/manipulator in 3 sentences.  I am so happy to be out of that marriage.

The part I underlined perfectly describes the final few years of my marriage: I did probably 80-90% of the household chores, because my wife (now ex-wife) made substantially more money than I did (4-5x as much, some years), and we set up our lives for her to concentrate on making as much money as possible and not having to worry about doing anything else.  Even so, she constantly complained about how I "wasn't contributing enough", and how everything I was doing "wasn't good enough" or "wasn't being done fast enough", so I kept doing more and more in an effort to save my marriage, and eventually I was practically killing myself every day to do everything around the house (plus work my full time job).  Meanwhile, she was mocking me behind my back to her family and friends the whole time, for years.

We should form a club. I'm still upset with myself for what
I let her get away with.

DK-PROF didnt know what "gaslighting" was?
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Middle school vocabulary test bro.

"Don't believe everything you read"

Actually, I had one a few months ago....

A former "friend" of mine sends me a link for a hotel where she said she was having her birthday party (I created a thread about it here)....where the link didn't say what room it was in; what time; if you had to bring your own food, purchase dinner and/or she'd have it catered....

Mind you it was on a Friday - where without knowing what hours, how would I know to ask for time off of work or not.

When I pointed it out to her (along with other reasons I'm ending our "friendship") her response was that she sent the same informal invite to family....

She like to play stupid games like that - like, she kept inviting me to stay by her and her husband when I was house searching - despite the fact that her husband doesn't like dogs. IMO, she was using me to passive/aggressively get back at him for whatever shit he did/does (spends up their money, neglects her, etc.).

I fucking can't stand people who play fucking games in a RL....

The problem is lack of context

The talking heads who throw it around rarely know what they’re saying.

“Gaslighting “ is the new “paradigm”.

Of course you know what is it.

Don't lie to us

yea,had no idea..and still dont know about jenuflecting either,,lol

Sensible chuckle

It's one of those words I've known for long enough that I can't remember why I know it. Likely it was used in a book I've read at some point, but who the fuck knows.

Gaslighting is being done on a huge scale now especially for the virus that shall not be mentioned in GD.

Changing the actual definition of a word, for example. We saw this with "fascism" and "vaccine."

"We never said the vaccine would keep you from being infected."

"Masks work and if you don't believe us you are anti-science." (Never mind virology for the past 100+ years has demonstrated over and over that they don't)

You can find a lot of examples just by looking at the media-pharma-gov trilogy behavior over the past few years.

Didnt know till the post. Behold, my field of fucks. It is barren.

It might help if you start it with a "g" before you google.

Gaslighting has been happening to us ever since the medical-industrial complex convinced mama to cut a chunk off her baby boys dick.

It has become a common term because it describes what government and media are doing.

A common thread here (true for me personally) is that people that were married/dated borderline personality disorder women were introduced to the topic of gaslighting by being accused of it.

Meanwhile, we were being gaslighted.

Fuck the term period, and run like hell if a woman accused you of it.

Link to "Gaslight" on IMDB

In general terms, trying to drive someone "insane".

That reminds me of the newfound usage of the term "copacetic" in the 1980s.  Punk teenagers thought they invented some brand new shit.  Little did they know it was in use long before they were born, like from the first part of the 20th century or before.

I remember that thread.

That’s exactly what someone from the CIA would want us to believe

It's what liberals actually do, but accuse others of doing.

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Just a stupid buzzword that means nothing to anyone. The idiots that think they are coining something of importance are simply idiots.
No one should care about anything these idiots think up to be “en vogue”

Guy I used to know adopted "copasetic" shortly before I stopped talking to him. If I did something that irritated him he'd tell me "you need to be a little more copasetic bro. You need to be a little more copasetic."

Except he was THE LEAST copasetic person I knew. Not sure why I put up with him for so long. Always pissed me off when he said it.

Now I really hate that Local H song.

ha ha! boy do I remember hearing that a lot back then.  I think I remember Bruce Willis saying it in a movie?

You've literally made this thread before.

Gaslighting and narcissism are liberal female buzz words. Usually used anytime someone tries to hold them accountable.

My wife tells me I gaslight all the time....

This here. Applied correctly, it's a good descriptor for common manipulative behavior.

However, it's been misused to the point of uselessness by people desperate to claim victimhood.

The future... Where we employ a Hitchcock movie's title as a verb.

This is true. If I disagree on a factual point in an argument with the lady friend, she accuses me of it.

Dude,

We had a long talk about it on one of the Hunter Station hikes.  We were talking about it in context of medical care for our parents.

^^^ Example of gaslighting.^^^

I thought I knew what it meant, but now days it seems to get thrown around for so many different things.

I have never heard the word used in person though, or if I did, I just ignored it.

I had to look it up when it started being used a lot.

Then I mostly forgot what it meant.

yep, been hearing it a lot over the past year, then finally looked it up a few months back.

It used to be that you would learn the term if you had to deal with a narcissist and needed to figure out their screwed up ways.

Within the past 5 years it has become more common and is applied to the spectrum of democrats and the left.

I only learned it recently.   Same way as you.   I seem to see it more and more.

I started hearing it in semi-common use when Trump was campaigning.  The first time I actually heard it used was by Dennis Miller in the '96 movie "Bordello of Blood".

It’s a psychological ploy that we use when our wives catch us with a new gun that we hadn’t previously told them about.

“This old thing? Had it for years. You really don’t remember it? Pfffttt”

Used to you had to ride your bike a couple miles to the library to find a book relevant and credible to your question, which was itself published in print form, carried as physical inventory in a brick and mortar store before being purchased by or for the library. There was a cost to distribute and access information, money talked and bs walked.

Now days any idiot can blast hist thoughts out for free, where they can also be accessed for free.

Also everyone dogpiled Brandon's YouTube appearances with down votes so they just took them away all together. So now when you need to fix your Honda's ignition you have to take an hour to watch five videos and decide which four are crap instead of checking the likes/dislikes and watching one three minute video.

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