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Posted: 6/25/2021 8:59:52 AM EST
[#1]
10/10
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:01:39 AM EST
[#2]
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:02:28 AM EST
[#3]
Good rant.
This might have helped. 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:02:28 AM EST
[#4]
10/10
And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:03:38 AM EST
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Good rant. This might have helped. http://www.quickcable.com/images/display_images/d_tools_battery_battery-carriers_3.png |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:05:08 AM EST
[#6]
OP is one of my very favorite posters here. Dude never misses a chance to tell the shit like it is.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:07:48 AM EST
[#7]
It’s called cost savings. Someone received a bonus for that battery not having a handle on it.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:08:14 AM EST
[#8]
1
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:08:53 AM EST
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's called cost savings. Someone received a bonus for that battery not having a handle on it. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:09:54 AM EST
[#10]
It seems in this modern world, most manufacturers do not want you working on your own vehicle.
You are, instead, intended to call a wrecker and have your dead new sled toted to an APPROVED repair facility, where your wallet will be speedily and efficiently lightened. Which is why I insist on driving a vehicle from 2003, and am looking for a truck of an even earlier vintage. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:12:11 AM EST
[#11]
To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:18:12 AM EST
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: To be fair, it's an Acadia, so.....yeah. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:19:56 AM EST
[#13]
Batteries hidden in fenders, under braces, beneath seats, in trunks, etc is nothing new.
Find the marked positive stud under the hood and grounding point to hook your jump box to and quit being a baby. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:24:58 AM EST
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Batteries hidden in fenders, under braces, beneath seats, in trunks, etc is nothing new. Find the marked positive stud under the hood and grounding point to hook your jump box to and quit being a baby. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:26:54 AM EST
[#15]
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:29:00 AM EST
[#16]
That's actually pretty fucking hilarious.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:29:32 AM EST
[#17]
Just by the title, I came to say~
All of Washington DC. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:30:31 AM EST
[#18]
Well it’s GM so…
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:33:32 AM EST
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 10/10 And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:38:07 AM EST
[#20]
Quality rant, but OP ignores his own tag line.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:41:48 AM EST
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My Jeep has 16 fucking sparkplugs. SIXTEEN. Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine. 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:41:59 AM EST
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Good rant. This might have helped. http://www.quickcable.com/images/display_images/d_tools_battery_battery-carriers_3.png |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:42:45 AM EST
[#23]
Quote HistoryOkay, I know what I'm getting/making to hang on my shop wall. 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:43:03 AM EST
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Well it’s GM so… Ever worked on a Chrysler with the battery behind the front bumper cover? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:45:17 AM EST
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It would be even better if they made the strap out of metal too. It would make putting in the fresh battery more entertaining when it makes contact with those posts. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Good rant. This might have helped. http://www.quickcable.com/images/display_images/d_tools_battery_battery-carriers_3.png |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:49:14 AM EST
[#26]
GM's Lamba platform is an abomination of cost cutting engineering. It was a product of near bankrupt old GM. Design for Maintainability was forbidden with that platform. Even basic oil changes are messy and injury-prone. Oil filter is right next to the catalytic converter.
Just see how fun it is to change the front struts. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:49:51 AM EST
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ever worked on a Chrysler with the battery behind the front bumper cover? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Well it's GM so Ever worked on a Chrysler with the battery behind the front bumper cover? That made me want to stomp kittens. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:51:13 AM EST
[#28]
Our dept deals with issues created by large corporation engineers on a daily basis
it's like a never ending struggle, good engineers vs bad engineers |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:52:57 AM EST
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Can you read? I did jump the car using the positive stud and grounding point under the hood so I could move the power seat to access the battery. It's a motherfucking crossover SUV. Basically a god damn minivan. I understand sticking batteries in weird places in performance cars, but it's a motherfucking minivan. A common vehicle. Fuck your apathy and fuck that shit eating engineer. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Batteries hidden in fenders, under braces, beneath seats, in trunks, etc is nothing new. Find the marked positive stud under the hood and grounding point to hook your jump box to and quit being a baby. Meh. Many things in modern vehicles are an adaptation to comply with government mandated safety and efficiency requirements. The engineers are often just doing the best they can to fit the required systems into what they have to work with to accept and meet that reality. If you want to complain, take it up with the feds at the USDOT and EPA. Next on the list is "creature comforts." You want powered everything with butt heaters and coolers plus 16 speakers and a fuel delivery system that doesn't need to be adjusted for altitude? Deal with it. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:55:38 AM EST
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Meh. Many things in modern vehicles are an adaptation to comply with government mandated safety and efficiency requirements. The engineers are often just doing the best they can to fit the required systems into what they have to work with to accept and meet that reality. If you want to complain, take it up with the feds at the USDOT and EPA. Next on the list is "creature comforts." You want powered everything with butt heaters and coolers plus 16 speakers and a fuel delivery system that doesn't need to be adjusted for altitude? Deal with it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Batteries hidden in fenders, under braces, beneath seats, in trunks, etc is nothing new. Find the marked positive stud under the hood and grounding point to hook your jump box to and quit being a baby. Meh. Many things in modern vehicles are an adaptation to comply with government mandated safety and efficiency requirements. The engineers are often just doing the best they can to fit the required systems into what they have to work with to accept and meet that reality. If you want to complain, take it up with the feds at the USDOT and EPA. Next on the list is "creature comforts." You want powered everything with butt heaters and coolers plus 16 speakers and a fuel delivery system that doesn't need to be adjusted for altitude? Deal with it. ETA: The new battery has a fucking handle on it. Imagine that |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:56:23 AM EST
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine. Do you even HEMI Bro ? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 9:59:20 AM EST
[#32]
10/10 Nice rant!
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:00:43 AM EST
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do you even HEMI Bro ? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine. Do you even HEMI Bro ? 16 cheap copper plugs that are easy to get to after removing a plastic cover and 8 COP packs . Not the worst thing in the world. Certainly better than having to remove intakes. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:01:55 AM EST
[#34]
Batteries belong under the hood. Period.
ETA And I shouldn't have to remove the intake manifold to get to the rear spark plugs on a fucking SUV. Pull your head out of your ass. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:02:36 AM EST
[#35]
We have a 2017 Buick Enclave, same battery location
I'm going to let the dealer do that job |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:03:26 AM EST
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 10/10 And fuck all the manufactures that think changing spark plugs should take six hours and require you to take half of the car apart. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:05:01 AM EST
[#37]
I miss my '69 Ford pickup.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:07:42 AM EST
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Do you even HEMI Bro ? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Ah yes, the classic V-16 Jeep engine. Do you even HEMI Bro ? Actually I do have a truck with a hemi, but I just bought it a few months ago, so I haven't done any maintenance on it yet. It's my first hemi. I didn't know they had multiple plugs per cylinder. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:08:09 AM EST
[#39]
You bought an Acadia?
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:08:27 AM EST
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I miss my '69 Ford pickup. Do you set the points with a matchbook? 
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:08:59 AM EST
[#41]
Cars/trucks are not designed with repairs in mind they are designed for the production line. So what if you have to remove the transmission to change a battery? Or spark plug replacement is an engine out job? We saved 20mins on the production line per unit AND lightened it by 7-8oz at least. The EPA will give us an award!!!
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:09:02 AM EST
[#42]
I'm convinced GM engineers hate GM vehicle owners.
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:12:07 AM EST
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Batteries belong under the hood. Period. ETA And I shouldn't have to remove the intake manifold to get to the rear spark plugs on a fucking SUV. Pull your head out of your ass. idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes. can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:13:26 AM EST
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: GM's Lamba platform is an abomination of cost cutting engineering. It was a product of near bankrupt old GM. Design for Maintainability was forbidden with that platform. Even basic oil changes are messy and injury-prone. Oil filter is right next to the catalytic converter. Just see how fun it is to change the front struts. Price a set of Magnaride struts and then wait 6 months to fill the backorder. I've driven Chevy since I was 14. Fuck GM. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:13:31 AM EST
[#45]
Quoted: The cross-eyed, inbred, dirty motherfucking GM engineer that put the fucking battery behind the POWER passenger seat in a 2016 Acadia. You have to jump the fucking car to change the fucking battery if the seat is all the way back. Then you've got to find a fucking torx bit to open the compartment that the battery is in. Why, you dirty fucking cocksucker? Next, if you have hands bigger than a female four year old, you've got to figure out how to get down into the cave they crammed the battery into and get it out because why would they put a battery in that hole that would have some kind of handle on it? Well, because FUCK YOU I guess. GM engineers fucking hate you for changing a battery. You know, a part they know is going to need to be replaced every few years. If you are that engineer and you post here, I hope you get a raging case of syphilitic crabs, go blind, and walk into traffic. Fuck you, you filthy fucking pig. Fuck. Just copying BMW |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:14:28 AM EST
[#46]
I wonder if it was the same person that did this late in their career that also designed the '79 V8 Chevy Monza and it's plug change fun (and plugs didn't last 100k mile back then)?
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:14:38 AM EST
[#47]
Get ready OP as this is going to become more and more of a norm with many manufactures and I would not doubt if the Feds eventually mandate the batteries get stowed.
Some advantages to moving the battery rearward and lower in the car exist as transferring some weight to the rear of the car, less susceptible to car accident damage with its own host of issues, lower in the car means lower center of gravity so better feel with cornering(very minor but every pound you shift does the better and better it begins to feel, and safety because everyone I know always connects both clamps to the battery instead of finding a proper ground on the frame. |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:14:40 AM EST
[#48]
 Is crabs more embarrassing than AIDS? |
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:14:43 AM EST
[#49]
OP nailed it, had to help my Dad change out the one in Mom's Acadia, I think we each taught the other a few new words
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Posted: 6/25/2021 10:19:08 AM EST
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes. can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Batteries belong under the hood. Period. ETA And I shouldn't have to remove the intake manifold to get to the rear spark plugs on a fucking SUV. Pull your head out of your ass. idk... my BMW battery is in the trunk. purportedly for safety in crashes. can get a jump, if neeeded from the front OR back. Trunk is odd, but I'd call it acceptable. Under a damn power seat in the passenger compartment floor is a "what in tardation" move. You'd have to put it inside the fuel tank to get much dumber. |
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