This. Was passing through Bland, WV back around 1985 on my way home on leave, doing about 7 over the limit, IIRC. Got stopped. Next thing I know the officer (deputy?) was telling me I "Looked like an AWOL". Patted me down, cuffed me, took me in until they "could figure this out". I had .mil ID, DL, leave form, etc. Nope. Some old dude in the jail/office said I wasn't on leave if I didn't have leave orders. No amount of explanation got anywhere. Maybe back in '41, pops, but not anymore.

Stayed there a number of hours until they made contact with someone from my command, which took a bit of time because they were idiots when they called the first time and I don't think anyone on base believed they were cops. They argued with base that I didn't have leave orders. I assume base informed them I had a leave form, but the cops didn't believe them either.  I heard all of the first call since they did it at a desk by the cell, it was pure comedy, except I was burning leave time and in a hurry to get back on the road.

Eventually other calls were done where I couldn't hear and they finally let me go. Had to pay for being towed. They said I could file a form to get reimbursed, but I was not going to stick around until office staff came in the next morning. I just wanted out.

Spent the night in jail in Little Rock for Public Drunk.  I had nothing to drink, it was just a way to roust me and search my vehicle.  No breathalyzer test, no drills, nothing. When I asked, their response was "If the cop says you are drunk, you are drunk".  Got to court the next morning and was about 4th or 5th in line.  All charged with Public Drunk.  A couple of them plead Not Guilty, the judge told the bailiff to put them back in the tank until tomorrow.  Guy next to me told me to plead guilty, or I would stay in jail until I did.  I plead guilty and got 30 days probation.

Arkansas is a bullshit state.  There was a funny twist.  Was in a tank with about 20 guys and one toilet in the corner.  For breakfast we got SOS and prunes.  Who servers prunes when you are in a drunk tank?  Fuck Arkansas.

Said a guy from LA?  

said a guy from misery

i hurt somebody's feelings once.

Yup, spent 7mo behind bars when I was in my early 20's. Did 5yrs probation afterwards and upon completion they dropped the charges. Looking back I got extremely lucky and it probably saved my life.

I'm stuck in Folsom prison.

I took a tour of Folsom Prison when I was in college. Both Old and New Folsom. In old Folsom, the cells are made of granite mined by inmates in the 1800s. I took a tour of the Yolo County jail when I applied to be a jailer. I never went into that line of work.

I delivered a few pallets of canned Pillsbury biscuit dough to Federal Correctional Institution-Greenville, IL once. That place didn't look that bad. I also once delivered a truckload of ramen to a state prison in Georgia. That place looked pretty rough.

Cook County lock up for child support,  that I overpaid.
26th and Cali. , cell block 2Q is with the murderers and rapist.
Yes, overpaid!  by $3,500 welcome to Chicago!
Did I mention that I overpaid?
Lawyer sucked, judge  sucked...
Out in 24 hours,  but what a corrupt shithole  
Thank God I am done with that about 18  years ago.

Cook County is the most corrupt money ponzie in the nation.

IT SUCKED

both times


had a passenger mouth off to a local cop..I was the driver, I told the idiot to shut up
and deputydog decided I needed to go to jail and cool down.. let me go the next morning
passenger had a broken nose and 2 black eyes, seems he tripped in the cell and fell
against the beds..

secondtime
carrying a concealed weapon

was on the way to the range, got pulled over, told to get out of the car
told cop I was carrying and where I was heading...
took me to jail.
got deferred adjudication and it went away a long time ago..

only black cop on the mesquite tx force at the time..
ssgt was called in, told me as he put me in the car if it
had been any other officer i'd be heading home

and yet, i'm still NOT A RACIST

Got a ticket for running a stop sign on my motorcycle at 19.
Didn't pay the ticket because I was a dumbass.
Got pulled over for speeding at age 21 or so.
Was on the bike. Cop let me park it to the side of the road. No towing.
I ride in the front seat of the police car to the jail.
This is 0330 Sunday morning. Was a bouncer at a club at the time.
Walk up to the front entrance to the jail.
Cop says "Man, I can't take you in here w/o cuffs." "NP I say."
Walk in cop talks to the dude behind the screen - whatever his name/position is.
Asks if I want to make a phone call.
Asked him if he could call my girlfriend and tell her what's up and she will bring the cash.
I sit on a bench in the waiting room. Cuffs long gone. BSing with the officer.
GF shows up 15 minutes later. Pays my shit ($75 lol) and I leave.
Me and the GF smoke and BS with the "arresting officer" in the parking lot for 30 minutes before we go home.
Grabbed the bike on the way home.
This was 1984. Don't try this today.

Lol Nope.

i only put people in jail and act like their parent when i have to do the jailer job

Yes.

I fix their elevators.

Yes, illegal firearm in South Africa. Being the only whitey in the cell got pretty interesting in a hurry

@boerseun

Okay you gotta tell the whole story.

I want to hear this story around a campfire in GA

Now we would laugh at the Misd warrant and send you on your way. If you had a felony warrant it would be 50/50 if we locked you up on it.

Never been to prison...but I've been in several county jails in my youth.

Fighting and the like.

Major sUXoR...but then...you ain't supposed to like it.

About 6 hrs in a general population holding cell in a mid sized city on a Friday night

It was not fun.

Courts found me innocent of all charges

I have a very close relative that did nearly 15 years in federal prison for a crime he didn’t do.

Literally has a signed affidavit by the prosecuting attorney stating they knowing lied.

Every time he’s tried to appeal the judge has told him to pound sand, “should have done your due diligence during the trial”

It was white collar shit

I go regularly.  Just left there today, actually.

Have to be back at 7am tomorrow for my shift...

Jail ain't so bad. You can make sangria in the turlet, 'course it's shank or be shanked.

Hehehe it's way funnier in person...there are some of the details I can't share online, but I'll drop the basics here @Cowbell

Pretty much......this.

I've been to a few federal and state facilities, along with county facilities...as a visitor, and to meet with certain inmates.  Not something I'd want to be required to be at.

I've also been to boot camp, I would imagine it's like that but 10x worse and more foreboding.

Nope, never even had a speeding ticket.

I visited the DC jail one time, as a contractor. It’s NOT a place you want to be locked up in; I didn’t even want to be there as a visitor. It was vile and disgusting, as were many of the inmates and quite a few of the employees.

@Andrewsky

Well what had happened was...

My Grandmother passed away and left me the little Savage .22/410 that I learned to shoot with (at least it was the only one I cared to keep). So I put off registering this thing, because I'm chasing tail and causing mayhem all over town. After a year or so I take it out of the safe and load it in the trunk and drive to the PD to get the serial numbers verified, fingerprints done and all that (at the time, anything unregistered was an illegal weapon and you actually got sentenced per round of ammunition on you). Road works blocked my usual route to downtown and this was before GPS (keep in mind street names change frequently in SA). I got lost and realized I had to turn around. I see a church parking lot and decide to use that spot to turn around. As soon as I swung around, blue lights erupted. Local cops were waiting for a drug deal to go down behind the church. Ok, no worries - I know most of the cops in town - we were on the same team at a fishing competition not even 2 weeks ago where I saw them illegally poach a kudu with their service pistols (another long story). 3 cops (that knew me!) approached me with pistols drawn.
Me: Hey guys, howzit!
Cops: Hey Boerseun...what you doing in this part of town?
Me: Ohhh on my way to the PD.
Cop: Oh yeah? Got anything in the car we should know about?
Me: Yeah, got a rifle in the back that needs to be reg...
Next thing I know they are dragging me through my car window. One plucked my CZ100 out of my holster. I'm cuffed and stuffed. Get to the PD and I'm promptly processed and tossed into a cell. Scratch that...THE cell. White boy with between 20 to 30 black guys in various states of sobriety. I backed into a corner and got ready...I was sure I was going to die - if not in that cell then years later from AIDS. I was a month short of 20 years old - what do I know. Anyways, the station CO got wind of me being in there and came down to the cell and plucked me out right as the guys in the cell started getting rowdy at the chance to get some revenge on the hated ibhunu.
CO calls the three stooges that cuffed me into his office and we run down my grandmother's death certificate - she's still alive! hahaha. Finally called up to Pretoria and confirmed she's dead. At which point the CO said to the three stooges something along the lines of "There are three bars in this town. Once you are out of uniform, your asses are his...". Anyways, never spoke to them again and never hung out with the local PD boys again. I survived it and learned to STFU.

Wow, glad you made it out okay.  Thanks for telling the story.

I remember spending some time in jail for dumping some garbage a couple Thanksgivings ago. It was up north in the town of Stockbridge, MA where I went to visit a couple friends of mine living in a church.  It's kind of a long story but kind of funny.